It was an accident really.
Lance was half asleep when he added an item to the full load of laundry before he dropped into bed after a particularly grueling day. When returned to the laundry room after his full eight-hour beauty rest, his mistake became glaringly apparent.
The entire team's laundry was pink.
Bright. Hot. Pink.
The white on Allura's favourite dress?
Pink.
The white strips on Coran's and Pidge's tops?
Pink.
Shiro, Hunk and Keith's underwear?
PINK.
How was he supposed to know that the super awesome custom pair of red-hot underwear with the words LOVER BOY emblazoned on the butt the he commissioned from an alien seamstress in the space mall would bleed in the wash?
When the rest of the team inevitably discovered their new bright pink wardrobe, they were not happy. So far everyone was giving Keith the side eye because of his favorite red jacket…that Lance so helpfully planted at the scene of the crime. The Red Paladin insisted he hadn't even washed his jacket that night, but everyone was too annoyed to believe him.
Lance could breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that the heat was off… or so he thought.
…
He didn't notice Pidge until he bumped right in to her.
"Watch it!" She made a disgruntled noise and glared up at him.
"Sorry." Lance apologized hastily, "I wasn't paying attention."
Something in her gaze shifted when Pidge realized who she'd run in to and suddenly Lance was very much reminded of a cat eyeballing a mouse.
He definitely wasn't the cat in this situation.
Uh oh.
"Something on your guilty conscious, Lover boy?"
Oh shit. She knew.
Of course Pidge knew.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Lance bluffed, trying to play it cool.
Pidge rolled her eyes and reached into her pocket for her tablet. Without a word she pulled something up on the screen and handed it to him. Horror blossomed in his chest when he realized what he was holding.
It was the security footage from the laundry room. Lance watched himself remove the offending pair of underwear that dyed the whole team's laundry hot, hot pink.
He was so screwed.
Pidge would flay him alive if he ever hurt her precious tech… but could he at least hide it from her for a while? Like on a top shelf somewhere where she wouldn't be able to reach? Just until this whole mess blew over…
"Don't even think about it. I have copies." Pidge deadpanned.
It was scary how she was able to read his mind sometimes.
Lance glanced around, making sure they were alone in the hallway before he quickly dragged the Green Paladin into the nearest room. It happened to be the men's change room and luckily it was empty. She scowled and Lance cut her off before she could say something.
"What do you want?" He glared, handing the tablet back grudgingly.
"I want the Gameflux in my room from now on. You hog it."
"I do not!"
"And…"
Lance's heart sank.
"You have to promise to limit yourself to twenty minute showers instead of your forty minute abominations."
"Never!" He gasped indignantly, wounded at the very thought of giving up his shower time. "You know I need my Lancey shower time Pidge." He meant to sound stern but it came out as a whine.
"Fine then," Pidge gave him an extra evil smirk, "I'll just go tell every whose really behind the wardrobe change."
He almost told her to stuff it.
Almost.
Except, Lance's momma raised him right and—he heard a noise.
"Just give up." Pidge said exasperatedly, not noticing his distraction, "you can always come and play the gameflux with me. And the shower request is reasonable! You always use up the hot water." Even when Pidge was annoyed it was hard to take her seriously, which was a mistake, because she was possibly the most vindictive little gremlin alive when she was crossed.
"Shh! Pidgeon!" He shushed her, straining his ears.
Pidge opened her mouth to snap at him about the stupid nickname, but Lance hastily clapped a hand over her mouth and held firm.
Shit. He hadn't been imagining the noise. Someone was coming! He could hear voices approaching rapidly from the hallway… Keith and… Shiro?
If they caught him now he wouldn't live to see another day. Especially because he'd dragged Pidge into the men's change room and she'd rat his ass out in a heartbeat. He was so screwed if he didn't do something immediately.
A sharp pain snapped him out of his panicked thoughts when the thoroughly annoyed Green Paladin chomped down on his hand.
"Yeowch!" Lance yelped, drawing his hand back and examining the damage. He almost expected to see her little devil fangs sticking out from his palm.
"Serves you right." Pidge stuck her tongue out and then went quiet—she'd heard Shiro and Keith too and Lance knew he had to act fast.
The next few moments took them both by surprise.
Without thinking and only reacting on instinct to try and save his sorry hide, Lance snagged Pidge around the waist, hooked on securely and then flung the unsuspecting Green Paladin into the open locker behind them.
A sound mixed between a squawk and the angry shriek of a cat beefing over turf was the only sound Pidge made before she hit the back of the locker with a loud bang. Lance quickly catapulted himself in after her, pulling the door shut behind him.
It was a tight fit, Lance had to angle his arms awkwardly up against the back of the locker, caging Pidge between him and the wall. His actions must not have sunk in for yet, because he was still alive and well.
Just as the door of the locker slammed shut, the change room door opened, admitting Keith and Shiro.
"Did you hear that?" Shiro asked quizzically. Lance tensed.
He could picture Shiro and Keith looking around suspiciously, but their conversation picked up again and he let out the barest sigh of relief. Finally Lance risked a glance down at the younger Paladin.
Clearly Pidge was debating how best to rip his head clean off—with her bare hands or some other inventive, but equally horrifying method that only a genius of her caliber could dream up and that's the only reason why she's remained quiet.
Lance knew he should be more focused on the blood lust radiating from the smallest member of team Voltron—and yet… he quickly becomes hyper aware of just how small Pidge is.
The top of her head barely reaches his chin, but somehow he always forgets how tiny she is—Pidge's presence always fills up a room. She's loud and unbelievably smart and strong—Lance has always envied how self-assured she is. Pidge knows her worth and that's something he respects immensely.
He leans a little closer, ignoring the flush spreading inexplicably up his neck and across his cheeks and something in Pidge's fierce glare shifts. Her eyes flicker uncertainly and Lance isn't sure what she's seen in his features to cause that, but it makes his heart skip a beat.
"Pidge." Lance barely breathes, intoxicated by the scent of shampoo wafting from her hair and his eyes drop dangerously to her lips.
"Whatever you're thinking Lance," Pidge gulps nervously, "don't you dare." Her eyes are fierce once more, but even in the dimness of the locker he can see the blush radiating in her cheeks.
Instead, he says the first thing that comes across his mind.
"How are you so small, but so strong?" Lance murmured curiously, drinking in the outraged expression on Pidge's flushed features.
"That's it—I'm telling Shir—mmpf!"
Lance did exactly what Pidge dared him not to.
He kissed her, cutting off her furious hiss by pressing his lips firmly against hers. The angle was awkward and his neck ached almost immediately at the movement, but he didn't dare stop.
She gasped and Lance drank in her breath greedily, one hand weaving into her short hair and the other cupping her cheek. Just as sure as Lance thought he was a dead man, Pidge was kissing him back. Her eyes slid shut and her hands clenched against his chest relaxed, her palms burning against his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. Her kiss was tentative and curious—so much like Pidge before she figured something out. He stifled a low groan against her mouth and nipped at her bottom lip. She squeaked (Pidge squeaked!) against him in response.
The sound of the change room door slamming shut jarred Lance from their kiss. It was silent. Shiro and Keith had moved on.
He risked a glanced down at Pidge, her eyes fluttered open and her cheeks glared a violent pink. She blinked dazedly up at him; her normally sharp gaze dilated and dazed.
Oh.
Oh shit.
She was so cute. His face heated up.
And just like that Pidge snapped out of it. Her eyes filled with clarity and just as soon as Lance thought she was cute—she head butted him. Lance tumbled ass over head backwards, the locker door snapping open and he tumbled out onto the floor.
For a moment neither of them moved.
Chest heaving, she pinned Lance with a stare that only read: MURDER.
This was it. This was the moment Pidge would actually; literally and figuratively murder him. She'd threatened it many times (mostly when he stole her headphones, or touched her tech without asking), but he'd never done something so stupid and impulsive like kiss her.
He was so dead.
What did he do?
What could he say?
"Sorry not sorry for kissing you."
Quiznak.
Pidge's eyebrow twitched and she let out a sharp breath. Her face was still beet red as she massaged her brow in what he knew to be her "attempting to dissect a problem" face.
There was a tense moment of silence.
"Next time," Pidge ground out finally, "just give me a little warning will you?"
Wait… WHAT?
It was his turn to be shocked into speechlessness. First, that he was alive and well and breathing and second… NEXT TIME?
"Next time? Pidge?" To Lance's eternal embarrassment, his voice cracked.
"Yeah. Next time." Pidge nodded. "But first..." A smirk crept over her lips and Lance should have realized he was truly in deep shit now, "payback's a bitch."
Without waiting for him to respond, Pidge opened her mouth and shouted at the very top of her lungs: "SHIRO! KEITH! IT WAS LANCE WHO DYED YOUR UNDERWEAR PINK!"
The Black and Red Paladin, who hadn't got very far from the change room, stopped mid step at the yell. They exchanged confused glances when there was a muffled shriek and then suddenly the change room door burst open and the Blue Paladin raced by, a blur fleeing for his very life.
Pidge leaned against the doorway nonchalantly, ignoring the bewildered looks on her teammates' faces.
"Didn't you hear what I said?" She asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
Shiro's gaze turned stony.
As the leader of the Paladins of Voltron, you had to make decisions in a split second—ones that could irrevocably affect your teammates and you'd have to live with the consequences. So as much as he wanted to know why Pidge was hanging out in the men's change room of all places and why she her face was beet red, there was a much more pressing matter at hand.
"First one to get him leaves some for the others." Shiro exchanged a hardened nod with Keith, the bloodlust in the Red Paladin's gaze would have been alarming had Shiro not been in the same exact headspace at the moment.
"Deal." Keith and Shiro took off.
Not even a minute later Pidge could hear the telltale squeals of Lance and she smiled, reaching up to touch her lips with her fingertips.
Lance's kiss was sweet… but revenge was sweeter.