He was just a detached consciousness, a connection to Mikhail's master. In truth he wasn't actually there, more like...an abstract. The technicalities, he was certain, were very much confusing, and even harder to explain. He didn't even know it all too well.
All he knew was that he was like a representation of the Eye of Mikhail, and wasn't there there, acting as a bridge, the metaphorical spiritual gates between human and immortal. That was basically his role, and he hated every single second of it.
The worst thing about his job, in his opinion, was listening and seeing everything out there. He resided in a dimension – a dark one, almost like a black hole, but not quite. It was just equally as dark. Whenever Teito, Mikhail's master, was awake, a projection would appear – from where, he didn't know – and he could see whatever he was seeing. The whole dimension (Or room, as he liked to call it) would be filled with sounds Teito was hearing – the chattering and bustling of the church and outside, the warsfeils and academy and attacks. Everything.
He hated that because he wasn't really a part of it.
He doubted Teito even knew he existed. Concerning the Master, there was only 'Mikhail' and himself. Maybe he sometimes saw the Eye as a precious thing, but he certainly couldn't be aware that the 'Eye' also had its own spirit. Why, that one time the Eye was tainted by Warsfeil, said spirit was sure he felt much worse than Mikhail, for he was the one actually connected to the thing (he could almost say they were biologically related, but that would be quite inaccurate), while Mikhail was bound to it by contract. Surely pain felt through a mere bond could not even compare to the actual thing.
The spirit stilled as he realised he was letting his mind wander. That wasn't good. The one time he did, complaining and ranting to the Raphael spirit, the Chief of Heaven had found out, and it was that time that the Warsfeil managed to taint him. He had learnt to be much more careful after that, for fear of once again gaining a punishment that, in his opinion, he did not deserve. Nevertheless, he was forced to separate from the Master so as to protect him, on the insistence of Mikhail.
"For the protection of Master!" He almost scoffed at that.
He didn't feel too well after, and when he was experimented on and once again forcefully inserted into other bodies, he was reminded of the countless bad experiences in the past. He forced himself to withdraw from the Eye, and lay dormant as the physical tortures reached him, but the mental ones were blocked out. At least that had managed to help.
When he found himself for once left alone in the room, without any pictures of the outside or noises, he could only float around, and almost immediately felt something wrap around him, and something else inside shatter. It was suddenly much harder to breathe, and the ultimate boredom slowly creeped in. He found himself swaying and growing more and more restless as days passed.
To be truthful, he never felt more alone.
When Teito had been brainwashed when younger, the images of blood sprayed everywhere and fallen men all engulfed him, and the amount was so overwhelming he almost felt like he would suffocate. There was always the constant effort on his part to stop the images from transferring over to his side, though he did allow Mikhail to pass through once in awhile to comfort the Master, though said master remained oblivious.
Those were one of the hardest times, when the Master wasn't even aware that he had the Eye within him. The feeling of negligence grew the strongest at those times, those years of absolute solitude, terror and most of all, pain. There was a flash of epiphany when he realised, in the duration of his capture, that he just wanted to be recognised, not as a part of Mikhail, but as an individual. Being cooped up of his own will made that wish seem much farther than it actually was, but even without that, he doubted he would be recognised too soon.
He could very well continue this existence of his and not be acknowledged by any other.
With the Spirit of Raphael separated from him, their connection broken as punishment from the Chief, he had no company at all.
He was so alone.
So very alone.
And before long, he started sobbing.
In that bottomless abyss, the black hole, the dark room...
No one comforted him.