WE HATE CLOP FICS! Chapter 1, a My Little Pony + Gravity Falls Crossover fanfic

WE HATE CLOP FICS!

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.

...

It was a glorious day in Canterlot! Celestia should know, she was the one that set it in motion! It was so beautiful that she just had to sing!

Morning in Equestria shimmers

Morning in Equestria shines

And I know for absolute certain...

That everything is certainly fine!

She flies above her subjects wishing them all good will and happiness...

There's the Mayor en route to her office.

"Morning your majesty!" Shouts said mayor.

There's the sofa clerk selling some quills.

"Thanks for the beautiful day your majesty!"

My Equestria is so gentle and still

Can things ever go wrong?

I don't think that they will!

Says the princess as she lands and confidently trots down the street.

Morning in Equestria shimmers

Morning in Equestria shines

And I know for absolute certain, That everything is certainly—

WHAM!

(music abruptly halts)

Celestia shook her head and turned to the person she'd run into, "I'm so sorry, I should watch where... Celestia froze...for before her stood a monster.

It towered above her, it had long slender arms and had no face...yet it wore a business suite and held an umbrella.

The creature(somehow) smiled at her, "Afternoon your majesty...would you like to buy an umbrella? Storm's a coming after all." He said innocently.

Celestia, after a moments shock...found her voice, "S-storm? Why there's not a cloud in the sky. I-

SPLAT!

Something hit the ground near Celestia, covering her face with something wet and sticky...suddenly having a bad feeling...Celestia touched the substance on her face...and saw it was blood...

Dread now on the rise...she turned to the 'object' that had squirted her...and her insides went cold...it was an infant...a hairless, ape-like infant...that had hit the pavement, killing it instantly...it's blood and grey matter now splashed everywhere...

Before a horrified Celestia could respond-

SPLAT!

Celestia's ears prickled in terror at the sound...as it slowly...but surly began to get more frequent...

SPLAT!...SPLAT!...SPLAT!...

The monster handed her a spare umbrella, "I REALLY think you should reconsider...I have a suspicion that this is about to become a downpour." Said the creature with a (somehow)knowing smile.

Celestia grabbed the umbrella just in time-

SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!

SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!SPLAT!-

Celestia could only gape in horror...thousands...thousands of infants...falling from the sky's...staining her beautiful land in blood and gore, she quickly tried to use her magic, but it just bounced off them uselessly! She tried to fly up and catch them...but they seemed to ricochet away her grasp at the last second!

After several hours, her face with streaked with blood and tears as she wailed and weeped over this whole nightmare, some of her more braver subjects had tried to help...but they too had been meet with failure...still at least it was starting to let up a bit...

SPLAT!...SPLAT!...SPLAT!...

Celestia simply cradled the rotting corpse of the sweet infant...an infant who would now never know love, friendship, and happiness...two less eyes that wouldn't see, one less pair of lungs that would breath, one less mouth to laugh...a life murdered before it could ever truly live...

She wailed to the heaves, "WHY!? WHY!? COULDN'T I SAVE THEM!?" She screamed to all who would listen.

"No need to shout, just adopt them before they crash obviously. Then you can save them no problem..." Spoke up the monster in a mock chastising way.

Celestia turned to the monster, both in rage and stunned bafflement. Before she could vent her anger-

"Oh, speaking of which...I think the last one is falling now. Best hurry your majesty." He said as he pointed upward.

Celestia looked up...and sure enough one last infant was falling, everything else left her mind as she went super-sonic to grab the child and while doing so-

"BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME, I ADOPT THIS CHILD AND MAKE HIM MY HEIR!" Screamed Celestia desperately as she used her magic to bind the oath, she had no reason to trust the monsters words, but at this point she'd try ANYTHING!

...and it worked...the child wept. "Oh, sweeite! Don't cry! It'll all be better now!" She said as comforting as possible, she summoned a blanket to warm the child's naked form. While doing so...she noticed an odd birth mark on his head...

"The big Dipper? Huh, interesting omen..." Thinks Celestia as she floats down slowly...not surprising the monster was long gone...what WAS surprising was that he'd left a parchment full of instructions...instructions that made Celestia feel sick.

She quickly covered the ears of her new son...and screamed every profanity under the sun...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?

Love me, flame me, review me