'The first time I saw Edward look at Bella, I knew. It was at the hospital after Bella's near miss with Tyler's truck.
After leaving Bella and Chief Swan – assuring the latter that his daughter was just fine; I ran into Rosalie and Edward having a 'discussion' in the hospital corridor. Rosalie had overheard Bella telling me that she would not have been fine were it not for Edward saving her. Trust my headstrong 'son' to get involved with the Chief of Police's daughter!
Rosalie was livid at Edward's intervention. She was convinced that Bella would tell anyone and everyone that would listen about the superhuman strength and speed she had witnessed and was adamant that we should make plans to move immediately to our home in Montreal. Edward, as usual, was playing down any risk insisting that it wasn't possible for Bella to have seen him standing across the car park or push Tyler Crowley's truck away.
I had managed to placate Rosalie by telling her that we would see how things panned out over the next couple of hours before taking flight and reminding her that disappearing would cause its own problems.
Turning to return to work I caught Bella's scent and then heard her walking around the corner. I saw Edward glance at her face and just knew. I may not have Alice's precognition, or Edward's ability to read minds, but the look that was on Edwards face in the millisecond before he rearranged his expression, I knew only too well. Because it mirrored my expression as I looked at a particular young woman almost a century earlier.
Playing the works of classical composers through my mind is the only way I know of masking any of my thoughts from Edward – so it was with Mozart's clarinet concerto running through my head that I guided Rosalie down the corridor. Knowing as I did so that he would realise I was hiding something from him.
Once I had finished my rounds and made a quick call, I knew my 'children' were all occupied at home so I headed to my office to be alone with my thoughts.
The year was 1911 and I was working in a hospital in Ohio. I was the only doctor on call on this particular Saturday – I didn't mind working nights and weekends for obvious reasons. A young girl had been brought in after falling out of a tree. I had to chuckle to myself as I walked towards the ward – at the vision of a young lady climbing a tree – almost unheard of, and definitely frowned upon at the time – and wondered what sort of wild child would greet me.
As I pushed open the swing door I was hit with the most delicious and mouth watering scent. I had to hold on to the door as I felt my knees go weak and venom burn my throat with a fiery passion I had not felt since my changing almost 250 years before. What was this? I had not thirsted for human blood in more than two centuries, I did not even think of it anymore, and yet here I was, having to hold myself back. This feeling both disgusted and intrigued me. Who on earth could make me feel like this?
It took all my strength to swallow the venom that filled my mouth, push my desire away and continue into the ward.
I was called by the nurse to a bed on the far left of the room. I walked closer; I could feel my thirst mounting and my resolve weakening with every step– yet I knew it was nothing to do with the nurse, who I had worked with on numerous occasions previously. The patient in the bed then? It must be. Swallowing back the fire in my throat I pulled back the curtain.
Although completely unnecessary, I took a sharp intake of breath as I saw the most stunningly beautiful and inviting creature I had ever seen. Her eyes were squeezed shut in agony, and her fists were clenching onto each side of the hospital bed before me. My own agony mirrored hers as I felt her 'scent' burn through my mouth and down my throat with renewed ferocity.
Simultaneously, I wanted to kill her - I wanted to drink her blood, and feel it pulsing through my body; and yet, I wanted to stand as protector over her forever more ensuring no harm ever came to her, killing anyone that would hurt her. I shook my head to clear my mind of these foolish and disturbing thoughts and asked her mother exactly what had happened.
On hearing the story I knew that I had to examine the leg itself in case the bone had moved out of position. The idea of touching her leg filled me with both longing and fear – what if I couldn't control my blood lust? I told myself not to be ridiculous and spoke to the girl.
"Miss Platt? Can you hear me?"
A groan was all I got in response and I knew then that I would move heaven and earth to stop her feeling any pain.
"I'm going to have to examine your leg. I'll be as gentle and as quick as I can and then I will find you something to ease your pain."
If I had still had a beating heart it would have been flying out of my chest at about this time, but as it was, with professional and steady hands, I very gently felt my way from her ankle to her knee to find the whereabouts and severity of the break. Luckily, my medical experience took over and I was quickly able to identify the broken bone – although the cry of pain she let out when I touched the break site almost brought me to my knees – such was my desire to protect her.
Informing the nurse to plaster the break, I left the ward. Knowing that I would have to be back before anyone missed me, I left the hospital and I ran. I ran blindly, knowing that no-one would see me – I ran through the town, I ran through the forest, I ran all the way to the shores of the great lake – and still I could not get the girl from my mind nor the taste of venom from my tongue. I had never felt this before; this intense desire towards one person. Lonely? Yes, I had felt that – loneliness was almost a constant companion of mine. But never this desire.
I returned to the hospital, knowing that this would be my last shift there. I could not live and work in a place where temptation was that strong. I was uncomfortable that I thirsted after a human's blood - I had assumed that I had completely defeated that particular vampire trait. To be safe I quickly hunted on the way back to try and satiate my thirst.
Before I left that evening I built up the courage to once again visit with Miss Platt.
I was hit with the strong, heady aroma and the subsequent desire as soon as I walked into the ward. Hunting had not helped at all. I found her sitting up in bed with her leg plastered and propped up on a selection of pillows. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright and intelligent and full of laughter, her heart shaped face was framed with beautiful caramel coloured hair. I couldn't find the words to even begin to explain how I was feeling. Need? Yes. Want? Definitely. Desire? Without question. Passion? Unlike any I had ever known. Protective? I would move mountains to stop her feeling pain. Infatuation? I suspected so. Love? Wait – love? Did this explain my feelings? I didn't even know her so how could I love her?
I sat on the stool at the side of her bed and she looked me full in the face. I felt like a deer caught in the hunters sights. I felt that she could read my mind and see into my soul. We stared at each other for a minute and I took the time to examine and commit to memory every millimetre of her face before I remembered myself and cleared my throat, which sent another wave of fire and venom through me.
"How are you feeling now, Miss Platt?"
And then I heard her voice for the first time –
"Thank you so much Doctor Cullen!" She spoke my name and sent a shudder down my spine. "My mother told me that you dealt with me very quickly. I feel fine at the moment but I suppose that's something to do with all the pain medication!" she joked.
At that moment, I knew that I could spend the rest of my life – or whatever you called my existence – looking at her face and listening to her voice. I also knew that I could never see her again. I couldn't put her in danger. I was afraid of my feelings for her. I was afraid that I would not be able to control the monster inside of me that I had, up until I met her, been able to easily keep hidden away.
"I'll make sure the nurse gives you enough medication to keep you comfortable at home."
Was my voice wavering? Could she hear that?
"When will you take my plaster off Doctor?" She asked, her voice like kisses caressing my ears.
"My colleague will take the plaster off in 6 weeks once your bone has healed, you were lucky, the break could have been much worse." I managed to reply.
"Oh." Was that disappointment in her voice? "Will I not see you again then?"
The blood was rising in her face causing her cheeks to blush redder than before – I knew that I had to get out of the ward before saying something inappropriate for a doctor to his patient or before I could no longer keep my blood lust in check.
I cleared my throat once more before managing to stammer out, "I'm afraid not, I'm leaving the hospital, this is my last shift actually. I'll get the nurse to come and speak to you about your care at home. Goodbye then. Oh, and no more climbing trees!" I tried in vain to sound normal.
I hastened out of the ward to pack up the few things from my office. I knew that I could be out of Ohio in less than an hour. I hoped at that time to be able to forget the beautiful girl, or at least get rid of the infatuation I was feeling now. How wrong I was.