Title: Here on the Steps

By: Amanda

Feedback: sweety167@yahoo.ca

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Trust me, I'm a poor University student.

Spoiler: Season Finale 314

Summary: Justin POV – Brian/Michael angst. More of a Justin musing.

Completed: July 16, 2003

Here we go again. As soon as Michael appears he has Brian's full attention. Every fucking part of him is locked on his brown haired buddy. Even if my cock was on fire Brian wouldn't look at me, not if his Mikey was in eye-shot.

So they have a history…best friends since the dawn of the homosexual age. So what? I'm his present. There was a reason Brian took me home that night and kept me there. –And Michael needs to realise that! …but if that was really true, then why am I so jealous as they stand here together? Why am I paralysed with fear of really losing Brian?

Risking it all?! Brian acts as if it were Michael's bright idea. Like when he does it for that stupid kid it's fucking great. But me?! When I do it for the good of the whole goddamn community I'm throwing away my future. I get the speech. I get that condescending Kinney stare. HE gets the fucking car! And worst is that Brian seems proud of him. His Mikey can never do anything wrong – it's always noble and good, the best of intentions. It's annoying as hell. I don't know if I'm more jealous or angry.

I'm hurt. More than anything it hurts when Brian kisses Michael. Like that. In front of me. It fucking hurts! Sure Brian has fucked over half of Pittsburgh, all of Liberty Avenue, but this is different. This is Michael. There is just a way to these kisses. Brian puts all of himself into the way he kisses Michael. The bastard keeps his eyes open for him. There's no way to deny that it is Michael who his lips are touching. He wanted to kiss Michael, hell he enjoys kissing him and knowing it's him. At least the nameless men stay faceless. And are forgotten by daylight. He barely looks at them. And don't think I don't know Michael loves every minute of it. He loves to gloat about it. That smug smirk and blissful glaze in his eyes. It's really pathetic. But it's there with Brian too. Deep down if you look.

Sure Brian keeps me around, I can even believe that he loves me. In the Brian Kinney way. But again it's so different with Michael. Brian's eyes for me are lust – he wants me. He fucking wants me. But he loves Michael. The unfuckable Michael Novotny. The one man in all of Pittsburgh he wouldn't dream of fucking and leaving. Think I never heard him say he loves the little momma's boy? God it's so obvious, if you read him. Both of them.

Finally Michael's off, and that leaves Brian and me. He looks at me like nothing else happened here on the steps. Like there was no trip into Michael and Brian's world. Everything was normal. Of course it was. Normal for him whenever Michael's around. Now I have to come up with something to say to hide my jealousy, fear and hurt. I learned that from Brian, to hide it. Like he's trying to hide his Mikey. I know I'm just here for the time being until they both realise they're in love with each other. And maybe hoping they never do.

"Great. Now you have no car."

END

A/N: This is my first QAF fic…

Also, I think Justin came across as an angry, whiney brat…but that is how I see him.