Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine.
Author's Note: So, this is Ziva after she's rescued from Somalia. It's from Ziva's POV, though it might be hard to tell--she's thinking in second person, but really she's referring to herself. In my mind, she's trying really hard not to acknowledge her weakness and so she's kinda distancing herself not only from the events in Somalia, but also from the emotions. Please review!
Sometimes
Sometimes, the shock and fear hits you harder than the actual event. The event you can deal with. Yes, you keep reliving it in your mind—how can you not? But still. It's the other emotions that are the hardest. Unexpected—completely unexpected. And shocking in its suddenness. How can mood change so quickly? How can you be reduced to nothing more than tears so fast? But life keeps going, keeps swirling on around you. And you must join it. There are people waiting, dependent on you. You must move on. But God... it's so hard. You're sure that others must notice your eyes glazing over. For a few seconds, the emotions engulf you. And then you snap out of it. But the memories—the fear—still linger. They wait for a moment of inactivity. So you try and keep active. You catch looks of concern crossing people's faces, so you try harder. You try harder to hide it. But sometimes, you feel your mask slip. And you know that one of these times, someone will see—they'll see the shock and terror take over for a split-second. And in that fleeing moment, you are a deer caught in the headlights. And the car is getting closer, closer. You see it coming, but the fear paralyzes you. And—back to reality. Normalcy, for some. But you still jump, wince slightly—occasional slip-ups. But, for now, it's not noticed. People bustle through life, not noticing that when they brush by you, your eyes widen—just slightly. You tense at someone's approach, waiting to be discovered. You look away, hiding behind your hair. A single tear rolls down your cheek.
Review, please? I could really use feedback on this one! :)