A/N: aHMM... Enjoy?
Disclaimer: One Piece is not mine
"B*STARD!"
Sanji kicked Luffy right on his face.
"Mmm, Sanji, I'm hungry!"
"Did you even say once that you're full?!"
The voice of their cook is the first thing she heard early this morning. Argh. What a good start of the day!
"Sh*tty Longnose! Where did you put my peppers!"
Usopp quickly hides at the back of Luffy.
"SANJI! USOPP'S HERE! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR H-" Usopp quickly covered the mouth of his captain but it's too late. The monster chef is in front of them.
"H-hi Sanji"
"Where is the sh*tty pepper, CAPTAIN USOPP!"
"AHHHHHH!" Usopp ran away as quick as possible.
"GET BACK HERE! STUPID NOSE!"
Nami sighed while working on her maps. Agh. He's the second loudest crewmate of Strawhats. If not compensating, he insult too much on boys.
"You sh*tty sh*t f*cking b*stard cr*p swordsman!"
"WHAT THE H*LL CURLY!"
Luffy laughed cheekily.
"Waaaaah no fighting! You'll both get hurt!" Chopper stops playing with Luffy and Usopp
"Y-yeah! Waaaah don't fight near me!" Usopp hides again at the back of Luffy.
"This is your fault USOPP! The cook having a tantrums" Zoro said irritatingly.
"THE H*LL YOU JUST SAY CRAP LOST MOSS CHILD!"
"PRISSY- .. HEY GET AWAY HERE CARUE!"
Luffy laughed louder. Carue quickly get away on the battlefield at the deck.
"What a colorful mouth he have!" Nami said irritated. Vivi then smiled, thinking if her guess is right on what is Nami talking about.
"Sanji-san?"
"Who else?! Did you just hear him right now, no, hear him everyday? If I could get my ears bleed because of him, it will."
"It is part of Sanji-san's personality, of course."
"Oh yeah, and in front of a LADY, he complimented with annoying adjectives!"
Vivi laughed. Before Nami could stop her idiocy because she laughed that the cook like the most. Woman laughing. Sanji quickly approached them. Nami sighed. Here it goes.
"OOOOH, how divine your laugh VIVI-CHWAN! IT COMPARES THE SINGING OF ANGELS, WORSHIPPING THE GO-"
Nami rise from her seat. Annoyed from the squeaky voice of their cook. She's not in the mood since morning for who knows what. Maybe because the cursing mouth of their chef is the first thing she hears that morning.
"If you just speak unicorns and butterflies, I will give a beri right this instance..." she murmured.
Vivi noticed Nami walking away. Sanji stopped suddenly.
"N-nami-san, are you alright?"
"No." She look to Sanji and he gestures to follow Nami.
"Why my angel? Is there anything your slave can d-" Suddenly, a dark aura emmited from Nami. That is the scariest thing that Sanji didn't want to see besides spiders.
"Oi, Witch" Nami get more annoyed, this musclehead is irritating her the most too. She didn't answer back because Sanji, as always, seriously stand for her.
"Don't speak to Nami-san like that, you sweet innocent swordsman!"
A deafening silence could hear. All mouth gaping.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" Zoro said with a strong hint of disgustion.
Everybody laughed maybe because Sanji is weird or Zoro was called a sweet innocent swordsman. The swordsman suit him that perfecly. Nami is still shocked, looking to Sanji wide-eyed. Sanji flustered more when he caught Nami is staring to him.
"S-SHUT UP, MY HONEYPIES-!" Sanji quickly covered his mouth.
"THE F*CK, COOK?" Zoro now is looking at Sanji suspiciously but more on disgustion.
"Honey.. pie...? Is that what y-" Usopp cutted off by Sanji.
"NO! STRAWBERRY ... HUH?! NO ! What is wrong with my mouth? WHAT THE FUDGE IS THIS?! AHHHHHH!" Sanji go and quickly locked himself in his kitchen. Embarrased enough.
The boys with Carue is still laughing on their embarassed cook. They like him to look an idiot because they are always the one who look an idiot. Sanji and Zoro is always the witty and cool one, they hate it. Maybe it's the reason they hate each other so much. Of course, they won't admit it. Boys.
"It is fun to look Sanji-san shied. Everyone really looks cute." Vivi said. Zoro is shouting with swearing now to his noisy crewmates for calling him sweety and honeypie nonstop.
"HE CALL US HONEYPIE NOT ONLY ME, IDIOTS!" They stopped laughing suddenly. Realizing something. Then they laugh again, teasing again their cook. Satisfied Zoro joined them on teasing Sanji.
"That Vivi?! Cute?! Please. Chopper could." Nami said.
"But what just happen to Sanji-san? It is weird, afterall."
"I don't care. They are all idiots." She sit again and look to the direction of the kitchen. Is Sanji-kun okay? What was even happen here?
"BASTARD-, oh my Nami-san... no.." Sanji is approaching the two ladies with hearts in his eyes and after what he did just said he was shocked by his mouth. The boys look to the cook, thinking they heard him calling them when it's not they play again on the deck. Except Zoro, napping.
"Hey, Sanji-kun, what is the matter?" The girls eyed their cook who stopped suddenly with concerned, not noticing that the cook called them the b*stard one.
"Ah no, I'm fine ugly wome-?, fudge! I'M FINE, HERE'S YOUR DRINKS MY ERR
.. Yeah, here ladies..." He give them them the drinks with a sad look in his eyes. He walks away then lean to the railings. Nami and Vivi confused on what the cook acts.
"SANJI, WHERE ARE MY SNACKS?! IM HUNGRY" Luffy shouted and go to the cook. The boys followed also their captain to get their share from the cook.
"Go get it on the dinner table, sweethearts." Sanji said tiredly like there is no wrong on what he says.
"WHAT?!" The guys shouted in unison.
Realizing what he just said. A horror masked his face. He cried loudly and climb on the railings.
"I might as well go to the All Blue with my dead body. Goodbye everyone." Sanji said melancholically.
"NO SANJI! WHO'S GOING TO COOK MY MEAT?!" Luffy said hysterically, grabbing Sanji's legs. All of them followed to grab Sanji.
"SANJI GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! I WILL NEVER LET YOU DIE" Chopper cried.
"IT'S FINE SANJI, we don't even care about you calling us err THAT." Usopp sweatdropped.
"Uhm.. Yeah. It's alright. Actually, it's sweet." Zoro obviously teasing him.
"ZORO?!" the three boys shouted to their swordsman.
"Ah.. Sorry, I mean we're thankful. Thanks?" Zoro said again. Enjoying the situation. Most unforgettable moment, if you ask.
They facepalmed, it is magical that they still holding Sanji while facepalming.
"FUUUUUUDGE! KILL ME NOW! GET OFF OF ME CUPCAAAAAKES!" Sanji shouted. They all sweatdropped in disgust.
"IDIOTS!" A terrifying punch they felt on their heads. A dark aura coming from their navigator could make every man piss on their pants. They behave while whimpering from hurting bumps on their head. "IF YOU CONTINUE THIS SANJI-KUN, I WILL GLADLY BE THE ONE THAT WILL KILL YOU ALL IDIOTS IN THIS INSTANCE!"
"WHY ALSO US?!" They shut their mouth fast after the deathly glare of their navigator gives.
"I'm sorry Nami-san! You are so f*ckng ugly when you're forgiving." Sanji changed his expression in horror. Did he just call her Nami-san ugly?! Fudging ugly?! He said it the second time. I'm horrible. NOOOO!
Nami bewildered. Sanji-kun call her ugly. That is... new.
"Oh no! I didn't mean to say that Nami-san! That is beautiful when you're forgiving! What have I done?!" He runs to his kitchen crying.
"Where is my snack?! NO! SANJI IM HUNGRY! OPEN THE DOOR!"
"SHUT UP BEAUTIFUL- CAPTAIN... AGH FUDGE MY LIFE!"
"I'm not beautiful! I said Im hungry!" Luffy pout.
They all sweatdropped.
"Go play with angel- erm, swordsman, my cupcake." Sanji said lazily to Chopper and then the reindeer dance the I'm not happy because you call me cupcake dance.
One day had passed, Chopper don't see any sickness or disease making the cook speak differently. Nami noticed that he speak oppositely now with the girls and boys. In boys, nice. In girls, bad. Yes, she wishes Sanji-kun to speak without insults but why only on boys? She is not really angry when Sanji-kun automatically call her and Vivi, bstard, f*ck, ugly, wh*re, sl*t... Ok I'm quite angry. But after he says that, he will cry and apologize and avoiding to say any compliments or names because he now knows it will come out in contrast.
"Whatever is happening to Sanji-kun?" Nami said while looking to Sanji, quite sad but talking to the other boys, trying so hard to not curse or insult them because a sickening name will be heard from his mouth. He looks cute when he frowned. Zoro is the one famous in frowning. Now, you could see Zoro happy face that I want to puke.
"I don't know, he looks really pity, I want to hug him for comfort" Vivi said, giving Carue her delicious drink that Sanji gave awhile ago.
"Don't try Vivi. Blood will flood here all over." Or maybe she could do the hug FOR COMFORT.
"Hey, Nami, where did you bought that bracelet? It's pretty"
"Ahh.. On our last stop... This...
Nami realized something.
"That?" Vivi asked again. Now curious, why Nami stopped.
"It's my fault!" she quickly look to Sanji who also looking to her ever since Vivi and her talking and he smile to her goofily. She also smiled back sweetly.
"BSTARD~~~~" Nosebleed poured all over the boys.
"WHAT THE H*LL!"
The night comes... Zoro is on watch. When he hears noise on the deck. He saw Vivi and an approaching cook. What is the meaning of this?! His sleepy head get fully awake on what he was seeing. Vivi have a gorgeous long blue hair and a princess-like face. Because she's a princess so she looks like that, B-b-beautiful, no? Of course! All princess is beautiful isn't it. The heck. Why in the f*ck am I saying all of those? He's not jealous. No.
"Oi crap cook. Why are you both awake?" Zoro said. There is no way he will let the pervert cook hooked . She needs to save her country, of course. What else will be the reason I'm doing this.
"Oh I forgot , hi, swords-san, you're on watch" Vivi said. Zoro frowned and slightly pouting. She forgot?! Me?!
"Sheeps, the fudge you're pouting? Seriously." Sanji said, horrored at the face of their first mate.
"I'M NOT!" Zoro blushed. Who's pouting?!
Vivi chuckled. Sanji smiled dreamily because Vivi chuckle sounds a beautiful melody. Zoro felt light. The f*ck he felt right now?!
"VIVI-CHWAN IS SO UGLY WHEN SHE'S GIGGLING!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY CRAZY CRAP COOK!" Zoro jumped down. Before Vivi could react into shock because of the swordsman violent reaction. Nami both punch the boys in the head.
"YOU'RE NOISY! IT IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!"
"You're the one shouting here! You witch!" Zoro said angrily. His head hurts so much when this navigator punch them.
"Don't call the bstard like that!" Sanji slumped sadly after he realized again his wrong.
"O... Kay ..." Zoro smirked.
"Will you just go back on your nest?! We will be having a discussion about Sanji-kun's situation. " Nami explained. Vivi nodded to Zoro. And Sanji look like he saw a hope of light on Nami.
"Let's hear it." Zoro said and took a seat on the wooden floor.
"Your strawberry shortcake brain couldn't understand discussions" Sanji said, proud of using his f*cking disease, whatever you call it is, to Zoro.
"YOU SAID WHAT?!"
"YOU WILL LISTEN OR I WILL THROW YOU OUT OF MERRY?!" Nami said furioisly. They always argue. Guy's ego, really.
Zoro humped. Vivi is just amused and smiling on how this crew argued over small things. I will miss them after all of my mess.
"Ok, I bought a bracelet" Nami started.
"No, you steal it" Zoro said.
"Zoro, 110 percent of interest on your debt"
"THE H*LL!"
Sanji kicked his face before Zoro will stand. He curse and planning to unsheathe his swords.
"200%, it's final Zoro"
Zoro slumped exaggerately and he almost make a whimper
"I BOUGHT a bracelet." Nami gave them a look on her bracelet in her right wrist. With an elegant color of orange crystals. Like telling them that your wish would go with that bracelet.
"Because it is cheap, I buy it and I forgot that it makes wishes."
Sanji feel knocked out about what Nami said.
"You wish me to be like this Nami-san?" Sanji said sadly.
"Not exactly Sanji-kun. This bracelet gives one wish to the one who wear it. And I accidentaly wished something. I'm not aware of what I say."
"Therefore, it is clear that there is no problem here" Zoro said. Sanji glared to the swordsman and about to swear him
"LOVE YOU- ARGH NO." Sanji gritted his teeth before he could finish the disgusting word if said to another man.
"Love me? I know. " Zoro teased. Sanji turns violet. He want to puke on Zoro's face but he couldn't take her ladies saw something gross.
"Hey Swords-san stop it" Vivi protested.
"Stop being gay Zoro. So where are we?! The heck." Nami angrily said.
"SAY THAT AGAIN WITCH!" Zoro stand.
"Zoro." Nami said, rising up also and look to Zoro menacingly. He flinched. Oh noes. A loud punch and ouch heard in the deck. Miracle the others are still sleeping with all the noise.
"NAMI-SWAN IS SO U- yeah." Sanji stopped fawning.
"I think Zoro is right-"
"NO NAMI-SAN!" Sanji hold Nami in her both shoulders and release her in a seconds after realizing what he did. "I WANT TO COMPLIMENT YOU, YOU DESERVED IT , AS LONG AS I LIVE SHI- ... ladies."
Nami sighed. " You know Sanji-kun, I'm irritated when you curse too much even it is not for us Vivi. It's annoying."
"Nami-san..."
"Oh witch is sensitive."
"One more, Zoro, you'll get the jackpot."
Zoro just climb up and nap on the crows nest but secretly listening to them.
"So... to rid your curse Sanji-san, there must be a one person to wish again on that bracelet." Vivi finished the explanation.
"Vivi will be that person"
"Nami-san, if you did wish me to be nice why only on boys which is not quiet right and harsh on you gro- ... ladies?"
"Oh this is called, gender-based attitude wishing bracelet. All the wishing related to attitudes will work. So you couldn't wish to have million berris." Nami said exasperatingly.
Vivi sweatdropped.
Nami then gave the bracelet to Vivi.
"Well then, wish what you like, Vivi. Ok Sanji-kun, I'm sleepy. Good night. Let's go Vivi." Nami said and they were about to leave when Sanji called Nami.
"Nami-san, I'm sorry if I bothered you in my clea- .. ergh mouth. I'm really sorry."
Vivi leave the two to talk. Zoro is sleeping in actual. Nami face the cook and smile genuinely.
"I apologize too Sanji-kun. I know it is part of who you are. Maybe I'm not in the mood that time and look for someone who I could release it. Sanji-kun... argh... Are you even listening?"
Sanji is melting with hearts in his eyes and a little trickle of blood in his nose. Even if he wants, he couldn't say mellorine. Nami sighed. This is hopeless.
"When you love someone, you change..." Nami said quietly.
Sanji stopped his fawning. Stare intently on his beautiful Nami-san. Until she looks away and walks onto the Women's Quarters. He smile while looking admirely on the figure of their navigator.
"I hate you, Nami-san..."
She gaped and look on their cook with a smile on his face. With the full moon light reflecting on his face, he is fictionally handsome standing there in his usual black suit and blue undershirt.
"Well, I hate you more." she smirked and continue entered her room.
"MELLORINE~~~~~" A fountain of nosebleed poured on the swordsman.
"THE H*LL! WHAT IS THIS?!"
"Oi, beautiful witch" The kitchen filled with silence. Did they just hear their swordsman say something pleasant to their navigator?
"NO! WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU SEXY PRIN-"
"Princess? We know right" The two girls said in unison. Zoro blushed furiously when all of them laughed.
"NO YOU DON'T! MS. WEDNESDAY TAKE IT BACK!"
"COOL! MAY I BORROW THAT BRACELET, VIVI?!" Luffy shouted, full of food on his mouth.
"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" The four who knows everything shouted.
"Ok, 5,000 berries who will wish" Nami negotiates.
"Ok! I want thousand meat! No, a million meat!"
Nami facepalmed.
"Did you really listened last night?"
"NAMI-SWAN CAN I WISH YOU TO LOVE ME!"
"ANGEL WOMA- GAH! ... er CAN I WISH TO COMMAND MY EVERY WISH TO THE CURLY HANDSOME CO- ACK YUCK!"
"I WANT SWEETS! NO?"
"TO HAVE 8 THOUSAND FOLLOWERS EVEN THOUGH I HAVE 8 THOUSAND FOLLOWERS-"
"ALL OF YOU WILL GIVE ME MEAT! THAT'S RIGHT?
"Vivi, I will throw that stupid bracelet"
"NO (MY LOVE BLURH) VIVI, (CHWAN) GIVE IT TO US!" the boys said in unison. Carue quaked.
Vivi sweatdropped.