A chronicle of Deidara's (pre-Akatsuki) days as a Domino's pizza delivery guy.
Knock knock "Pizza ." Deidara stood outside a house waiting for the occupant to open up and take this damn pizza. It was late. It was raining, and he was outside, in the rain, wearing a red hat, navy blue trousers and a red t-shirt and coat with matching Pizza-go-go logos on them and the hat. He had been out since 5pm, it was now midnight, why someone wanted a pizza at midnight he would never know. Being out late wasn't the problem though, he liked looking at the stars, and the rain wasn't that bad, it made everything glisten and sparkle. No it was the fact that this was the sixth time he had been to this house in the past hour and a half, now that should be a good thing, selling pizzas equals making money but he had yet to sell one pizza to this man. The first time it was the wrong pizza, he ordered vegetarian not pepperoni, fair enough. The next time it had onions when he asked for no onions, a little picky but still okay. The third time the box was wet from the rain. The forth time he took too long and the man said it was too cold, and the fifth time it was the wrong size, even though it was the exact size as it had been the entire time. Deidara was really losing his patience now. If the man didn't like this pizza he would shove it down his throat. The door opened.
"Ah, took you long enough."
"Vegetarian, no onions, the box is not wet, it is still piping hot and had been cut into 13 slices just like you asked. Un."
"About time you got it right, what's a guy gotta do to get a pizza around here?!" He reached for the pizza but Deidara held it out of reach.
"Money. Hn." The man didn't look impressed but Deidara was past caring. He wanted his money, and he wanted it now. The man handed him some money.
"There you go now give me my pizza!" Deidara shoved the pizza at him, while looking down at the money. The pizza costs 15 and then an extra 5 are given for delivery. Deidara held in his hand a mere 10.
"You haven't given me the right amount…Un." He had really had it now.
"That's all your getting." Deidara crushed the money in his hand.
"All I'm getting. This is the sixth pizza you have had. I have had to come back and forth for the last hour and a half. You should of paid 120, well even more in fact cause I've been out here in the freezing rain and I get no tip. No fucking tip. At all!"
"Your lucky I gave you that now run along."
". . ." Deidara looked to the floor.
"I will be calling your superiors about your attitude as well. You shouldn't use that type of language around customer, let alone that tone of voice you used." Deidara shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Your lucky I'm not sewing your company for their incompatibility to make the right pizza and get it here on time!" Deidara was past listening, all he felt was rage. He took his hand out of his pocket, fist clenched. The man looked down and saw his fist, he gasped and promptly closed the door. With the other hand Deidara picked up his cell phone and called his boss.
"Put it on loud speaker. Un." His boss complied and Deidara could here his co-workers all crowd round the phone. He swiftly kicked the door down, and walked over to where the man was sitting.
"You are the most aggravating customer I have ever had and you go and have a go at me for fucking swearing you didn't even say fucking thank you! You fucking tight ass bastard!" Deidara grabbed the pizza box out of the mans hand and threw it against the wall.
"I'll, I'll report you!!" The man shouted.
"I dare you! Un." And with those four words Deidara threw three small birds to his lap and walked out of the door. Slamming it as hard as he could. As he walked down the path to where he had left his scooter he heard the door behind him open. He turned his head just slightly he could see the man holding the birds. The man was about to shout abuse when Deidara turned around.
"Go to hell you fucking bastard! Art is a blast. Un." There was a huge explosion, the man and his house and his pizza was completely destroyed with the explosion. He could hear his boss shouting down the phone at him, you're fired was the main thing he said. Before he could reply someone grabbed the phone out of his hand. There were two men. Both tall. One with bright orange hair and many piecing covering his face. The other pale with silver hair. They both wore black cloaks with red and white clouds on. The pale one put the phone to his ear.
"He wont be needing your shit ass job. He fucking quits." And then he hung up the phone. Deidara looked from one to the other as he passed the phone back to him.
"What the fuck do you want? Un."
"Hah. At least he's got a good mouth on him…well three." The pale man was looking at his hands. The other one finally spoke up.
"Come with me. Deidara."