The Greatest Fear of Them All
by: Taran
Remus, walking behind James and Sirius with Peter, yawned tiredly as they headed to the library. He still hadn't gotten enough sleep to make up for what he had missed during his werewolf transformation earlier in the week and he was dead tired. Hopefully, if everything went well, he could catch a nap in the library while James and Sirius studied for Potions, their worst subject.
Sirius groaned as he crossed the threshold into the library. Remus looked around Sirius and grinned. Sirius's arch enemy, Severus Snape, was scaling the bookshelves in the Forbidden Section. Why Professor Logan, the Divination Teacher, gave Severus permission to go in there was anyone's guess. Several people were of the opinion that Severus was threatening Logan somehow. But what could a skinny second year do to a grown man?
"What are you doing here?" Sirius called, making sure, first, that Severus's two scary friends weren't around.
James snickered as Severus looked behind him and bared his teeth at Sirius, still standing on a shelf while holding on with both hands.
"I'm doing important research," Severus spat, literally. He looked disappointed. "I can't spit very well," he moaned, jumping off the shelves and landing on his feet like a cat. "It should be flying out of my mouth!"
James held a hand to his mouth, trying not to laugh. Remus shook his head. Only Severus would practice trying to get spit to fly from his mouth while he talked.
Sirius scowled and Remus sniggered. Ever since their train ride to Hogwarts their first year, Sirius had disliked Severus because of an 'incident' that had happened on it. An 'incident' that had included Remus as well, but Remus, personally, blamed Sirius for the entire thing, not Severus. It had been Sirius's fault, after all.
"Listen," James said, stepping away from Sirius hurriedly, "I'm having trouble in Potions, could you help?"
Severus looked quite interested. Potions was his favorite subject, as everyone knew, and though he didn't know as much about them as he did the Dark Arts he was quite good in the subject.
Sirius glared at James, hissing at him.
Severus walked out of the Forbidden Section and joined them at a table. Peter, Remus noticed, sat as far away from Severus as he could. James and Remus flanked Severus, and while Remus laid his head on the table, Severus started to explain the 'wonderful and lost art of brewing glorious potions' to James and Sirius.
Remus fell asleep, dreaming of running through fields with the wind in his hair, when an unnatural shriek sent him flying backwards.
Laying on the floor, he looked wildly around to see James and Sirius, standing well away from the table, pointing at Severus, their eyes wide and their faces pale. Peter was cowering behind the two of them.
Remus scrambled up and let out his own unnatural shriek, for there, sitting on Severus's head was the most disgusting creature to ever exist, a cockroach. And this one was truly disgusting. It was large, at least four inches long, reddish black, and Remus was sure it had wings. Severus was looking at them all like they had gone mad.
"What is it?" he asked.
"C.. C... Cockroach...." James stuttered, pointing to Severus's head.
Remus took his wand out, reading to blast the thing, when Severus put his hand on his head and picked the roach up.
"This," he said, holding the roach up, "is Anabel, my pet."
"Eep!" was all Remus could say.
"Ugh!" Sirius said.
Madam Pince came striding over and glared at the four of them, until her eyes caught sight of the roach. She shrieked and jumped on a nearby table. "Cockroach!" she screamed.
Severus rolled his eyes and put the cockroach on his chest, where the thing hung on. Remus shuddered, hopping the thing didn't fly even if it did have wings.
"What is going on in here?" Professor Mayor, the Head of Slytherin House, asked as he came striding into the library.
Remus, as much as he hated cockroaches, rushed to the table and sat, pretending to act normal. James, Peter, and even Sirius did the same. Mayor hated his Slytherin charges and none of them wanted him to have an excuse to be nasty to Severus.
Mayor's eyes fell on Severus and he sneered unpleasantly. Severus sneered back, just as unpleasantly. This time it was Sirius that had to stifle his laughter.
"What is that?!" Mayor bellowed, catching sight of the cockroach on Severus's chest.
"It's a cockroach!" Madam Pince informed him, horrified, still standing on the table.
"It's my pet!" Severus said, glaring at Mayor and Madam Pince both.
Mayor's eyes narrowed. "The letter to Hogwarts said a cat, or a toad, or an owl. There was no mention of a cockroach!"
"I can't afford those others!" Severus said. "I guess I could have caught a toad, there's some giant ones..."
"ENOUGH!" Mayor thundered. "Give me the roach!" he said, reaching for it.
And then everything went to pieces. Severus yelped and darted back, his roach hissed and flew off. Mayor tried to blast it with his wand but Severus grabbed his wand arm and hung on while Mayor swung him around, trying to dislodge him.
The roach flew straight at Madam Pince, hissing. Pince screamed, falling off the table, knocking it over. The roach, still flying, headed for a group of fifth year Ravenclaws. They screamed and ran for it.
Severus let go of Mayor and took out his wand. "EXPELLIARMUS!" he yelled.
The wands of several students that were trying to blast the roach flew to him. He threw them over his shoulder and raced for his pet. But the roach, upset, Remus guessed, flew away and headed back for them!
It flew down under the table while Severus dove for it. Remus, figuring Severus had caught it, suddenly noticed all the color draining from James's face.
"It's crawling up my leg! My bare leg!" he yelled, mortified, jumping backward and beginning to dance, screaming.
Mayor was still angry, and grabbed Severus as soon as he got up from the floor.
"Look what you have done!" he hissed.
"Leave him alone, Mayor," came two new voices in unison.
Remus swallowed. In walked two very burly and large seventh year Slytherin boys, Crabbe and Goyle, who never talked unless threatening their head of house for picking on a younger Slytherin student.
Mayor let go of Severus immediately, and glaring at all the three of them, left.
"Thanks!" Severus smiled at them.
Crabbe winked at him and they went to sit down, ignoring James, who was still hopping around.
"Stop moving!" Severus said. "She's scared."
"She's on my back!" James exploded, clenching his eyes shut, but he did quit moving around, his body trembling.
"Anabel," Severus called softly. "It's okay now. Mayor is gone. You can come out now."
James's body trembled worse as the roach's antennae appeared at his neckline. Peter let out a sympathetic squeak while Sirius screwed up his face. Remus backed away a step.
"Come on!" Severus cooed, putting his hand near the roaches antennae. The roach sniffed him, or something like that, Remus guessed, and then scurried up his arm to disappear down his robe front.
James let out a breath and fell to the ground. Remus stared at Severus, horrified. He let that roach crawl on his bare body!
"Where's the roach?" Peter asked.
"In my pocket," Severus said, smiling. "I'm wearing a Muggle shirt with pockets under my robe and Anabel stays there." He looked at the table. "Do you still want my help?"
"No!" James said quickly as he struggled to get up. "We can manage, thanks."
Severus shrugged his thin shoulders and headed off to talk with Crabbe and Goyle.
The four of them collapsed into their seats.
"Never," Sirius hissed at James, "ask for his help again! He's insane!"
Remus nodded his head fervently.
James shrugged, still twitching his body around. "I'm taking four showers tonight. I won't ask his help anymore. Well," he amended, "not until he gets rid of that roach of his."
"He'll have a worse pet then!" Peter warned.
"What could be worse than a cockroach?" James wondered, scratching his neck. "I have roach germs all over me!"
Remus wasn't sure but if there was a more disgusting pet to have than a roach, Severus was sure to get it one day and they'd find out then.
The End!
Author's Note: the 'incident' on the train will be revealed in another story.