Disclaimer: I don't own Without a Trace or any of the characters in it.
So this has turned into a bit of a Gone With the Wind type epic! It's kind of heavy reading but I loved writing it. It's my dream as a Jack/Sam shipper. Just a dream!
The office was silent and dark, mostly empty except for two people. Jack was in his office sitting on the couch staring into space. In his mind he saw his girls, healthy and happy playing without a care in the world. Then he saw the girl they failed to save that day lying in the mortuary. Her mother's face contorted with pain as she identified her. He shook his head trying to shake the image away. Another thought replaced it. On days like this he used to seek comfort with her but not anymore, she was with Martin now and he was just going to have to except it, even if he didn't like it….
Meanwhile, across the office Samantha tidied up her desk. As she prepared to leave, she too was haunted by the image of the little girl and her mother. Losing any case got to her, but the ones involving children were especially painful. She knew that Jack was suffering too because she knew him better than anyone did. She sighed heavily at that realisation and wondered about what would happen now that she and Martin had split up.
The week before, they had been having a fight about something and nothing but it quickly escalated into war and it wasn't long before he threw Jack in for good measure.
"No, please not Jack again! How many times do you have to be told we are OVER! You just can't accept it, can you?"
"Well how can I Samantha? Every time he looks at you, every time he gives us our assignments you guys are looking at each other. It's like you have this secret language that no one else knows."
"We went through a lot together and yeah ok I admit that we're still connected but…. You have to get over this Martin, if we are going to have a chance in hell you got to get over this. Don't you noticed that for a relationship that's only weeks old all we do is fight about Jack?"
He sighed and sat down, rubbing his hands together. She was right, they were so mismatched. All they did was have sex and fight, there seemed to be no in between. He cared for her deeply but these last few weeks they'd spent together had been an eye opener for both of them. He wasn't equipped to deal with her, he realised. He wasn't the man for the job and he knew it.
"Come and sit down."
She hesitated and folded her arms in defiance.
"Please?"
She sighed again and made her way over to the chair beside him, he reached out and took her hand.
"Look, I think we've both realised that this isn't working out. I mean we're great as friends but pretty lousy at a relationship."
She nodded, relieved that he had said it first. He waited for her response.
"You're right. If we go any further we'll never be able to be friends again and I can't bear the thought of that Marty."
He smiled inwardly as he always did when she called him Marty. However, he told himself that the odd fluttering of his heart wasn't enough to make things work with her.
They smiled at each other and embraced politely, rather than the passion of their first days.
After he left she was surprised at how she felt. Not angry, lonely, sad or abandoned as she had felt when Jack walked out of her door for the last time, but relieved that they had steered themselves away from certain disaster relatively cleanly.
Back in the office she still had that feeling of relief. As she walked towards the elevator she saw Jack's light on. She stopped to see him sitting almost in a trance. She worried about him. Always did, even before they had been together. She knew that the divorce and the way Maria had changed from the woman he had married was really affecting him and since he came back he was different. She was sure no one else had noticed. It was the kind of intimate change only she would recognise.
"You know, you could move a bed in here, some curtains, be just like home you'd never have to leave."
He was brought out of his trance by the sarcastic tone that he adored. He turned around to see her hanging off the door handle, half in, half out of the office.
"I could. Oh but decorating would be too much to cope with, wallpaper samples, colour schemes…..
Her soft laughter and sympathetic smile told him he'd given a sufficient answer.
"Come on Jack, shake it off, it wasn't your fault, wasn't anybody's fault." She came into the office and plopped down beside him. Resting her head on the back of the sofa she closed her eyes.
He wondered where she got that boundless energy from; never beat, always looking for the silver lining. Even after she had been shot it had never wavered.
"You wanna go get something to eat?" She ventured still with her eyes closed. She kept them closed and waited for rejection but it didn't come. She looked at him.
"Okay, you're right, let's get outta here." She was shocked. He had kept his distance from her lately, she suspected because of Martin. However she knew that they both needed a kind of comfort that they only got from each other.
As they drove through the dark streets she looked absently out of the window. When the car stopped, she looked up and smiled. He had taken them to "their" place.
He had made up his mind that's where he wanted to go as soon as she had mentioned dinner. He wanted to go somewhere happy. As he helped her out of the car he held on to her hand for a second. He hadn't touched her in so long, he was curious to see if 'it' was still there. By 'it' he meant the spark, the chemistry that was once so strong between them. As soon as he touched her he felt it, the electric shock. By the look on her face she had felt it too; they shared a smile, knowing what each other was thinking instantly.
As they walked to "their" table she felt dizzy. She scolded herself for entertaining the thought but how could she not. Both of them free, the spark had never left them. She breathed deeply and said to herself,
"Get it together Sam, just eat and leave." She said to herself and sat down. They spent dinner in a comfortable silence. When they were done he sat back and tried to decide how to talk to her. He was as nervous as he was back on his first date with Suzy Lennox in high school.
"So, you didn't have plans with Martin tonight then?" He ventured carefully. She let out a smile.
"No, we're not seeing each other any more." His heart seemed to stop dead. Had she just said that? She went on,
"We decided that it was going to be too messy, that we were better off as friends."
"Uh-huh." He nodded slowly and looked at his plate. He was afraid if he looked at her his eyes would betray his feelings and his hopes.
She watched him, wondering if he actually thought that by not looking at her she wouldn't be able to tell what he was thinking.
"That's it, that's all you've got for me. Not oh wow I'm sorry or gee that's too bad. Uh-huh."
He should have known.
"Well, if had have said sorry you would have known it was a lie because actually I'm not, all right."
"Good for you. Feel better?"
They looked at each other and smiled. Yet, she was hesitant; she knew where this was going, to one of their bedrooms no doubt. She wasn't ready for that, or sure if she ever would be. After a second she stepped up.
"Well I gotta go. I promised I'd sit with my neighbour's kids while she went to see her sister." She stood up and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"You know if you want to talk about Maria, about anything, I have two ears and they are all yours anytime."
He took her hand and smiled up at her.
"Ditto. You ok getting home?"
"Yep, I'm a hop, skip and a block away from the subway, "she replied cheerfully.
He watched her go and lingered at the table for a while before he made a move himself. He knew that sharing a dinner was a start to repair their friendship, anything else he had to put out of his mind…..for now.