Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimo

Let me die

I am so depressed and the sad thing is ...no one knows it.

No one wants to see beyond my mask; All they see is what they want to see.

A happy, smiling fool.

I want to die. I am tired of the pain, the hurt, and above all the abuse.

The beatings, hateful glares, being cussed out, being charged three times the price for merchandise and being neglected by people who are SUPPOSED to be my team.

Really no one would miss me; After all I am just a living reminder of a tragedy that took place 13 years ago.

Every day the villagers and fellow shinobi alike remind me of what I am.

A demon, a monster that deserves nothing but death.

And so far I have yet to die and that enrages all of them all the more.

I have been going to meet cell 7 for the past two months at training ground 13.

Kakashi... I really can't call him sensei as he hasn't taught me a damn thing or shown the slightest interest in teaching me anything either.

At first I was loud and was severly reprimanded by Sakura to be quiet. Sasuke would call me a dobe and demand to know if I ever had a moment when I was silent.

For two weeks I have stayed quiet...They don't even like me when I say nothing.

All Sakura does is yell and Sasuke beats the hell out of me.

All because I have changed. Instead of finding out WHY I have changed they abuse me for changing.

Kakashi-sensei notices nothing except his book and Sasuke. He doesn't even attempt to try and stop the abuse.

I suppose I must have killed someone he loved as well.

Even Iruka-sensei has been avoiding me all month. I have tried to find him and tell him that I am depressed but...I can't ever find him.

The sadness and darkness is all consuming; The pain in my chest is unbearable...Please just let me die.

For no other reason than to be free from the pain and the abuse.

After training ends today I walk home with my mind made up tonight I end this farce of a life.

I don't bother with a note...after all who would care?

I am saddened even more to realize that I have NO ONE at all that will even notice my absence.

I have bought six bottles of sleeping pills, one large jar of saki and my kuani has been sharpened for tonight.

I first empty all the pills in to a large bowl and take that along with the saki and kuani to the bathroom; I then clean my apartment and take out the trash.

I really do not want anyone walking in and seeing my home in a mess.

I lock my front door and then I go to my bathroom and lock that door as well.

I do not expect anyone to come over but, if they do I will not give them easy access to me.

I take a shower and dry off and fill the tub full of hot water. Meanwhile I get the saki and bowl of pills and kuani ready for what I am about to do.

I set them on the stool next to the tub and I begin taking taking the pills by the handful and gulping down the saki.

After about 30 minutes my vision is hazy and I feel so numb it is all I can do to make in to the tub.

I glance over at the bowl and see that I still have pills left and I begin to laugh manically.

I suddenly stop laughing as I hear someone banging on my door.

I grab my kuani and slash my wrists so deeply that I cry out in pain.

I will NOT be denied my release !!

Just leave it to Kami to have a bad sense of humor and send someone over to discover what I am doing.

I hear the front door being kicked in and suddenly my bathroom door bursts open and I begin to slash my other wrist as I hear someone scream my name.

I feel darkness envelope me as I hear someone running to my side crying and begging me not to leave.

A/N Due to a couple of reviews I have redone this chapter and I may add a third chapter