I don't know why it started, but I know when. It was the day we lost him, and she fell farther than I did. Why, I'm still not sure. Something snapped inside her and she couldn't take it. She had changed.
About five years ago my dad was killed in a car accident on his way to work. It was hard to take, I almost didn't believe it. I found a way to cope. I know it may be sappy, but Kairi told me if helped her when she was upset, so I started writing poetry. As it turned out, I wasn't that bad at it. So that's how I found closure, writing out my feelings. But Mom, something didn't work with her.
She couldn't cope, and she fell from herself, from her past, her own former being. We have a secret, she and I. I'm not allowed to tell. On the outside, nothing's changed, she's always nice when people are around, and I guess I like those fake moments more than what happens when we're alone. She has started hit me, at first it wasn't noticeable, I didn't realize the pattern, until a month later.
She started with hitting me for little stuff, like I forgot to put something up, or I made a mess after she had just finished cleaning. I was ten or eleven then. It got worse as I grew up. I'm sixteen now, and I'm still trying to invent new ways to hide or tell off all the bruises I keep getting. No one can know. As messed up as my family is right now, I don't want it to go away.
I've already lost my father, I won't let them take my mother away too. I know I must be crazy, to want to live with an abusive parent. I have but one reason, and it's the strongest; I still love her.
Walking to school was a chore, it was a long walk, but Mom won't drive me. So I have to get up extra early to make it on time. We live so far out, the buses don't run by my house. I used to catch the bus at Riku's, but for some reason I'm not allowed to anymore. Riku won't tell me why, but I guess I don't need to know. So here I am, it's five-thirty in the morning, it's still dark outside, and I'm walking to school.
I don't mind it really, the walking. It gives me time to think, though I hate getting up in the morning. I'm just not a morning person, I guess. I like walking by and looking at the houses, there's always a new car in the driveways, or a new coat of paint was added. About half way to school, always at six-thirty, I meet up with Riku, and he walks to school with me.
So I watch for his house, It's almost six-thirty, so I make sure I don't pass it, walking with a friend is better than walking alone. Ah, right on cue. Riku walks towards me and I stop and wave, smiling at him. He nods and waves back, taking his spot beside me and we walk together. It's kind of awkward, we aren't saying anything, what's there to say right now?
He's staring at me, I have to say something..
"What happened there?" he asks, tapping my wrist, where a new bruise had formed last night.
I shrug, "Don't know."
He frowns, "Right.."
Does he suspect...?
He sighs, "You're so clumsy, Sora. Try being more careful, will 'ya?"
I nod quickly, I'm in the clear, "Sure."
He looks at me with a weird expression, but I ignore it, "So, did you finish the homework?"
"Did you?" he raises an eyebrow.
I laugh, "Why do it myself when I have an amazing smart friend like you?"
He sighs, shaking his head, trying to hide a smirk, "Do your own homework, Sora."
"I will, tomorrow." I reply, grinning.
He laughs at that, "Did you at least get some of it done?"
"Oh, I got all of it done, actually." I smile proudly, "I just need to know if any of it's right."
He sighs, still smiling, "Okay, hand it over."
I laugh and take off my backpack, fishing my homework out of it. And that's how the mornings usually go. We got to school on time, like we always do, and we meet up with Kairi. She waves us over, she's hanging out with Selphie, like always. I slip away and head for the cafeteria, I'm starving. School is boring as ever, nothing to report, there never is.
Riku and I walk home together and it doesn't take long to get back to his house. I was about to keep walking when he stops me, "Hey, Sora, maybe I can get Mom to take you home, it's such a long walk back."
"I can do it," I smile reassuringly, "I walk from there to school every morning, walking home isn't a problem, Riku."
He frowns, "Well.. Okay.. I'll text you later or something."
He goes inside and I keep walking. I sigh, He can't know what goes on at home, no one can. I get home after about an hour and Mom's waiting for me. I go inside and spare a glance at her. She isn't paying me any mind, She's on the phone, I think it's with Aunt Serena. I quickly go to my room, knowing if she doesn't call for me, I have to stay in my room.
Staying in my room is a good way to avoid getting hurt, though I'm always getting hurt, the damage is just minimal if I do what she wants. I close my door and sigh, sitting on my bed, preparing to do my homework. I was half way done with my homework when Mom calls me, and she doesn't sound happy. I groan and leave my room, going downstairs and back into the living room.