Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the characters.
Rated M for drug use, self harm and sexual content. Read at your own risk.
Pairing: Loke x Gray
He didn't remember when it happened, or why. All he knew it that he was living it.
Gray Fullbuster, living the life as one of the most powerful S Class mages known in Fiore. He was rumoured to be the most fearsome wizard, level with the likes of Erza and Gildarts. Gray, who was always living in Natsu's shadow as the lesser rival, attained a level of power that even Natsu could not. He completed the toughest missions without so much as blinking an eye. Gray Fullbuster was living the dream of every mage.
Yet, he rarely showed up at the guild any more. Fairy Tail saw him less and less as Gray dropped by just to snatch one of the job requests then leave for months at a time. It wasn't as if he needed the money from the missions, he was easily one of the richest wizards in Magnolia, but Gray was obsessively taking job after job after job. Team Natsu often went on jobs by themselves with just Erza, Lucy, Natsu and Happy. Even Master Makarov was beginning to worry about the boy.
That was all five months ago. Five months since he had taken a job request. Five months since he had left his icy apartment. Five months since he had stepped out of his own front door to even go to the shop. Five months since anyone at Fairy Tail saw him.
The curtains were shut, and the apartment enveloped completely in darkness. Gray lounged on his couch in a pair of silk boxers, exhaling puffs of smoke into the frozen air. His eyes seemed to glow in the darkness, the red tip of the joint illuminating the silhouette of Gray's face. The intoxicating drugs filled his lungs, dragged through his bloodstream. The entire apartment stank of smoke, and the smell even lingered on Gray. Smoking had always been his vice, but dipping deeper into the dangerous properties of drugs heightened his dizzying experiences, kept him in a permanent euphoria of safety.
"Gray?" a familiar voice rang throughout the apartment. Gray hissed in shock and stubbed the end of the joint on his skin, wincing as it left a burn. Through the hazy air, a very familiar face found his way to Gray, sporting his old look back in the day when he was a Fairy Tail mage instead of one of Lucy's Celestial Spirits.
Gray spoke gruffly,"Loke, what are you doing here."
Loke flashed one of his usual coy smiles in response, running a hand through his orange hair,"Erza threatened to stop giving me catnip if I didn't come and find you. So far, she's the only person that would get me the treat, so here I am."
"Go back to the Spirit World, I'm not leaving here."
Loke's smile dropped, as he said quietly,"You haven't turned up for five months, Gray, I'm worried. We all are."
"Y'all can go fuck yourselves," Gray growled,"What's it to you, anyway? Five months is just over a day in the Spirit World."
"In case you forgot, I bear the Fairy Tail guild mark. Your nakama are worried about you Gray, can you honestly ignore them like this?"
"I'll do whatever the fuck I want," the Ice Make mage stated coldly.
Loke remained silent for several moments, before speaking again, fury laced in his voice,"I don't care what you've achieved after you became S Class, nor what how powerful you are. You dare live with the guild mark on you while you shun the very bond that brings Fairy Tail together. What do you hope of achieving, sitting in your apartment, smoking cigarette after cigarette? Hell, I don't even think that it's tobacco you're smoking. I'm pretty damn sure you're smoking marijuana with some cocaine in it, I can smell it in the apartment, on your skin. Is this what you want to be; waste away your life at the age of twenty two?"
"Just leave," Gray said venomously, as the memories began creeping back into his brain again. Damn Loke, the stupid lion. Panic edged towards Gray as he desperately tried to hold off the memories from coming back again,"GO!"
The order was strained, almost as if Gray was choking. Red crept into his vision as he desperately reached for another joint, fumbling to light it. Loke picked the lighter out of Gray's fingers and tossed it somewhere in the apartment, before grabbing Gray's wrists.
"Gray," he yelled,"Calm down."
"Don't," the Ice Mage replied, his voice trembling,"Please. I don't want you to see me like this."
Gray twisted himself from Loke and shoved the spirit across the room. His vision blurred into the demons that had haunted him since he was a child, worsened when he took his last job. His town falling to Deliora, his parents being slain. Ur, his beloved teacher, and then Urtear, who had saved his life by giving up her own. The terrifying nightmares he had as a child, ones that filled him with a dread and pain that pierced his soul.
Loke stumbled to find the light switch in the apartment before flicking it on. Gray screamed, his eyes the colour of coal, tinted red as he drug his nails across his own back, breaking the skin. Blood welled up in the scratches, before trickling down Gray's pale skin. Loke gasped at the sight of numerous cuts, burns and scars across his friend's back. The spirit rushed towards Gray's side, roughly grabbing his wrists with one hand while the other grasped Gray's chin.
"Gray," he ordered firmly,"Look at me."
"No!" the S Class mage shook uncontrollably,"Don't . . ."
Gray struggled, but Loke kept a firm grip on him until Gray finally recovered slightly, the blank tint gone from his eyes. Wordlessly, Loke carried him to the couch, setting him down gingerly. He found the first aid stowed in the bathroom cabinet and proceeded to disinfect Gray's injuries. Loke was about to wrap them with bandages but Gray stopped him, pushing away the hand.
Not looking Loke in the eye, Gray whispered,"Can you please find me the lighter?"
Loke sighed, upset to see his former partner like that. He handed the object to Gray as the Ice Make wizard produced a cigarette, lighting it and taking a long drag. Loke stood with his hands tucked in the pocket of his green coat, observing Gray until he finished smoking.
"I'm sorry," said Gray, exhaling the last of the smoke. Loke looked over at him with solemn eyes.
"Why are you doing this?" Loke answered, almost angry,"Were you scared; scared that people would see your weakness? Is that why you said you didn't want me to see you like this? Have you forgotten the meaning of Fairy Tail, of nakama? We never would have ridiculed you if you had just said something was wrong! Do we mean so little to you? Natsu, Lucy, Erza, Happy, Master, Cana, Elfman, Mirajane, Wendy, all of us? Did . . ."
Loke trailed off to a soft, helpless tone,"Did I mean so little to you too?"
Gray remained silent, unchanged. He could feel the aches of the damage he did to himself - the glorious sting it left behind. There was barely anybody strong enough to hurt him, and he didn't want to hurt anyone else too. His power had increased tremendously, but it came at a price. Gray knew he had unlocked powers inside of him that he didn't know he had because of the pain in his life. The power ate off the happiness in him.
But Loke, oh Loke. Loke, his partner, his nakama, the one thing that Gray could never let himself hurt. The man who helped him attain S Class, the friend who fought beside him in missions, the spirit who readily sacrificed everything to keep his friends safe. Most of all, Loke, Gray's one ai.
"You will never mean so little to me. In fact, you will never know how much you mean to me."
Gray stood up, encircling his arms around Loke's waist. Their lips locked in the middle. Loke could taste the bitterness of the cigarettes and drugs, with the slightest hint of toothpaste on Gray. It was all too much like that one drunken night in the small hotel room, where Loke had ravaged Gray until the sun came up. They had silently refused to speak of it ever again; but both never knew that the very night ignited a spark for each other. Gray's cold hands stripped the top half of Loke, running his fingers over the spirit's defined pectorals and the dips in his V line. Loke moaned into Gray's mouth as his finger flicked across one of his nipples.
Gray's lips left Loke's with a pop, bringing his kisses lower, licking the lion's jawline and grazing his teeth across Loke's neck. Loke surrendered his body to Gray, succumbing to the Ice Make mages sensual touches. Gray unbuttoned Loke's pants with ease, sliding the zipper down before rubbing at the moist spot forming on his tiger print boxers. Loke moaned and clutched Gray's shoulders tightly, causing him to wince as Loke's fingers dug into his wounds. Gray quickly switched them around, forcing Loke down onto the couch as Gray discarded of Loke's pants.
The lion's back arched off the couch as Gray licked the hard bulge through his boxers, tasting the wetness through the cotton. Using his teeth, the Ice Make mage slowly pulled down the fabric and Loke's boxers were lost among all the clothes on the floor of Gray's apartment. Smiling deviously, Gray circled the base of Loke's member, taking his time while his tongue slowly slid up the underside of it until the cold tongue reached Loke's dripping head.
"Fuck, Gray, more," Loke panted as Gray took the rod in his mouth, wrapping his lips around the girth and sliding down until Gray felt it nudge against the back of his throat. The spirit's fingers wove into the raven hair of the other mage, pushing him down on his manhood. Gray hollowed his cheeks, suckling the meat in his mouth, moving his hot mouth up and down the length before pulling back and colliding his lips with Loke's, letting the spirit taste himself.
"Loke," Gray mumbled into his mouth,"Take me."
Loke growled, flipping Gray over roughly and biting at his neck,"Lube?"
"No lube. Purge me of my sins, cleanse me from my devils. Take me, Leo the Lion, like none has ever done so before."
Loke groaned heatedly at his words, the lust clouding his senses. He clutched each of Gray's butt cheeks, digging his fingertips into the flesh as he lined himself at the puckered ring of muscle before sheathing himself in one fluid motion. Loke's chest rumbled into something like a purr while Gray threw his head back and howled at the intrusion. His anal walls clamped down so hard on Loke that both men could barely see straight. Loke didn't bother building up a rhythm, but steadily slammed himself in and out of Gray at a solid, hard pace.
Gray could feel the friction of Loke going in and out, burning him painfully but simultaneously giving him a pleasure he had never felt before. Warm fingers brushed against his leaking slit, bringing the precum coated fingers up to tweak at Gray's cold nipples. Gray moaned in pleasure at the feeling.
"Ngh, Loke, please, more," Gray begged as Loke simply complied to his wishes, locking his hands around Gray's hipbone and bringing him closer towards him as he began thrusting at a blinding pace.
"I'm so close," Loke murmured as he concentrated on angling himself deeper into Gray's wonderful cavern. His tip nudged a spongey spot in Gray, causing his partner to scream as Loke found his prostate. Three more thrusts at the same spot, Loke climaxed with a roar, slamming himself in one last time and reaching around to stroke Gray's penis sloppily. The Ice Make mage reached his orgasm too, as white ribbons shot out messily, dirtying the couch they were on. Loke collapsed, exhausted on top of Gray, crushing the ice wizard against him own cum.
"Idiot, get off me," Gray mumbled wearily as he pushed Loke off him. He could feel the spirit's cum flowing out of him, dripping down his thigh.
Loke smiled tiredly,"You're bleeding."
"Good."
Gray rolled onto the floor, alongside Loke, wrapping an arm around him and burying his face into Loke's neck. Loke sighed and stroked Gray's hair softly. He coaxed Gray to the bathroom and ran a shower over them, tenderly cleaning up the messy ice mage and dressing him in a loose white tee and black jeans. Loke placed a chaste kiss on Gray's soft lips.
"Let's go to the guild."
"Okay," Gray replied.