Disclaimer: Don't own Legolas, Sauron, or any LOTR characters mentioned here. They belong to J R R Tolkien.
No flames, because I write for my own pleasure AND NOT FOR YOURS and flaming other people is kinda making that assumption that they're writing to please You. OK? Sorry for being harsh, but I don't want to be flamed for doing something I want to do, K? Good boys and girls.
I don't mind reviews or constructive criticism, though. ;)
Rated for language.
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'Oh dear,' Legolas said, flinching, as every single face in the street swivelled round his way.
The flash would have attracted the attention of people miles away. Not to mention the sound, louder than krakatoa, that Legolas's delicate elf ears seemed to hear only. The sound had done no damage, else he would not have heard the ever so slight rustle of plastic bags that no one else seemed to hear.
This was all Sauron's fault, and he knew it. But no time for that – everyone in Sydney seemed to be looking his way.
Oh lord…
A short period of stunned silence, which seemed to take an eternity to Legolas. Then the first voice squealed.
'ORLANDO BLOOM!'
'Oh no,' Legolas was poised to run, but somehow the sight of hundreds of fangirls rushing towards him paralysed him to the spot.
'He's in costume!' shrieked the first fangirl that caught up to him. 'Can I see your bows and arrows? Are they real? PLEASE!'
'Certainly not!' Legolas's surprise was overtaken for a second enough to yank his quiver out of the girl's reach.
'Huh-?' the girl was stunned for a second, but not for long; the other fangirls had quickly reached them.
'Out of the way, bitch!' a second fangirl shoved the first one out of the way.
Legolas had to get out of there, and fast. More and more fangirls were advancing, each mistaking him for Orlando Bloom (and asking if whats-his-face who played Faramir was nearby), and he had to run.
So he did.
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His elf legs took him to an empty alleyway. He needed a disguise; he had been spotted by everyone and everything in the past hour, each crying out the same thing: "Orlando Bloom!"
'Who the hell is Orlando Bloom?' Legolas mused. He wasn't pleased.
Then a brilliant idea struck him. He could use a prayer to make his image slightly different to others for a while, during the time it took for him to find a knife to cut his hair and some new clothes. He knew he probably wouldn't be going back to Middle Earth anymore. He sighed in annoyance.
He may as well get started.
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This is a VERY SHORT chapter, and it's going to get more humourous as it goes on, I promise!