Disclaimer: Stargate belongs to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc; no infringement of any rights is intended. However, if Father Christmas should leave John Sheppard in my stocking on December 25th (he's on my list, and I have been very good), he's all mine and I promise not to treat him as badly as I do in this fic!

Spoilers: Possible spoilers for various episodes from Season 1 through to 'Common Ground' in Season 3, shortly after which this story is set. The background story for Sheppard contained in this fic is purely my surmising, and not canon in any way shape or form.

Warnings: Scenes of violence and torture not suitable for young readers.

This is a sequel to my story 'Deliverance'. It can be read alone, but it will make a lot more sense if you read the other one first. Trust me on that.

For those of you who do not have time to read Deliverance, the main things you need to know are that the character Sarayah was a prison guard on Medulsa who took a particularly unhealthy interest in Sheppard during his time in captivity after he inadvertent broke their laws. Also, Medulsa has an Ancient weapon that defends the planet from the Wraith, which the scientists on Atlantis would love the opportunity to study and McKay and Sheppard helped to fix.

My thanks to Sterenyk Strey for reading this through to ensure I didn't lose the plot – at least not in the story – and for letting me know where I was being a little two British with my dialogue, although I fought my corner and held on to both my 'backside' and my 'trousers' in the narrative. The help was much appreciated! Your reward is both drippy blood and heroic staggering...among other things.

Summary:

Repression:

1. To put down by force, usually before total control has been lost; quell

2. A mental process by which distressing thoughts, memories, or impulses that may give rise to anxiety are excluded from consciousness and left to operate in the unconscious

3. The subconscious rejection of thoughts and impulses that conflict with conventional standards of conduct

Lt Col John Sheppard has experienced a lot of bad things in his past that he tries to forget, not least of which is his imprisonment two years ago on Medulsa. Now someone he'd hoped never to see again is about to make him face those memories, and a few others, once more.

Chapter 1

It had been a hellishly long day so far, and apparently it wasn't over yet.

Sheppard knew there was trouble brewing when Weir stepped onto the balcony outside her office and called him up to speak to her. You didn't spend as many years in the air force as he had without picking up a thing or two about the nuances of body language, even if the words used weren't a problem in themselves.

'John, could I have a quick word?'

Sure, that sounded innocent enough, but she wore an odd little smile and drummed her fingers on the rail in a way that suggested she had something to say she knew he wasn't going to like. That didn't bode well, especially since he'd been hoping for a quiet evening in his quarters with his feet up listening to some relaxing music.

Having just walked back through the gate after a particularly grimy mission, the colonel wanted nothing more than to head off for a shower and a change of clothes, but figured he'd better not argue in case it was something important. 'I'll meet you guys in the mess hall later,' he said to the rest of the team as they departed, then bounced up the stairs two at a time to find out what was so vital it couldn't even wait until he'd taken a leak.

When he reached Elizabeth's office he found Major Lorne waiting in there, too. The man began to get up out of his seat, but Sheppard waved him down again. He didn't need anyone to stand on ceremony for him when he'd been wading knee deep in mud and other crap all day. He noticed Elizabeth eying the dirty trail he'd left on her floor with mild disgust. Well, if what she had to say couldn't wait for him to get cleaned up first that was the price she had to pay.

'What's all this about? We got a problem?' he asked.

'No...no problem. Sit down, John,' she instructed him, gesturing toward a free chair as she resumed her place behind the desk.

Sheppard dropped wearily into the empty seat beside Lorne, his damp trousers cloying to his backside with an uncomfortable and slightly sickly coldness. He'd been off world for six hours, most of which he'd spent on foot because the natives of the planet were 'wary of technology', to quote Teyla's exact words. Rodney had gone all hyperactive and insistent that they check the planet out because he'd detected a power source that bore similarities to the energy signature of a ZPM during some routine scans. Unfortunately, they'd had trouble locating it due to severe atmospheric and magnetic interference wreaking havoc with Rodney's equipment. As a result they'd spent several laborious hours wading across streams, fields and marshland, and were no closer to finding the source by the time they left than they had been when they got there. Now, all he wanted was a shower, some rest, and something hot to eat...oh, and to go to the little boys' room, of course. He really hoped this wouldn't take long.

'So, what's this all about?' he asked, trying to hurry them both along.

'Major Lorne has just returned from a mission I sent him out on earlier today, and he has some good news.' Elizabeth sat back, knitting her fingers together on her desktop and waiting for Lorne to deliver his report.

'Dr Weir asked me and my team to fly through to P3C-287 to carry out reconnaissance on the planet and find out how things have progressed since we were last there.'

The use of the planet's number rather than its name didn't faze Sheppard for a moment. That reference was burned into his memory and filed under 'When Hell Freezes Over' in his all time list of places he wanted to revisit. He knew other teams had carried out a few cloaked recon flights over Medulsa in the two years since his imprisonment there, and they'd always reported things as peaceful. He had to wonder why this was suddenly big news.

'Really, And how are they?' he asked, feigning interest.

'Very well,' Lorne replied. 'In fact, they send their regards.'

Now that was something he hadn't expected. Sheppard squinted suspiciously at him. 'Send their regards?' he repeated, shifting his position slightly as he tried to make himself more comfortable. 'I thought this was just a recon mission. Why d'you land?'

'Because I asked him to perform part of the flight without the cloak to gauge the response of the locals,' Elizabeth told him.

So Elizabeth finally thought enough time had passed to test the waters on Medulsa, did she? 'And you didn't think it was worth telling me about this?' he asked her, feeling somewhat peeved he'd been left out of the loop. 'This was a military matter, Elizabeth. I thought you'd agreed to defer to me on these issues.'

'Actually, I didn't think it was military as such,' she replied, leaning forward on her elbows. 'I see it more as...a diplomatic mission.'

'Using my troops,' Sheppard pointed out. 'You could have put them in danger.'

'I think you'll find those troops are at my disposal, as and when I require them,' she reminded him.

She was right, of course, but he still had the feeling she'd deliberately kept the details of Lorne's mission from him.

'With all due respect, Colonel, Dr Weir did advise us to assess the situation before de-cloaking and to remain at a safe distance when we did so. We passed over the village and saw both men and women living there, seemingly harmoniously, so we dropped the cloak and headed past again. It was pretty clear they were keen for us to stop, so we parked the jumper nearby and headed in on foot – armed, of course.'

'Of course,' Sheppard repeated, flashing a none-too-friendly look Elizabeth's way.

Elizabeth sat back and held her hands up in mock surrender. 'It was the major's call, John. I told him only to reveal their presence if he felt they could make contact without putting themselves at risk.'

'You can't judge that kind of thing from inside a jumper, Elizabeth. My team observed that village for an hour on the ground and thought everything was fine, but I still got ambushed.'

'Well, you did give up your weapons to them,' Elizabeth pointed out. 'Even you've admitted that wasn't one of your smartest moves.'

'And we went into the village fully aware of that, Sir. We made sure we remained armed at all times,' Lorne added.

Sheppard wasn't particularly pleased to be reminded of his naivety. The scars on his back and the fading bullet mark that still made his thigh ache from time to time, especially after six hours of wading through cold water and long grass, were reminders enough. That was one mistake he never intended to repeat again.

'Don't you want to know what they had to say?' Elizabeth asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Sheppard shifted in his seat again, hoping they hadn't been too loquacious. 'I don't suppose it would help if I said no, would it?'

'They told us that, after experiencing a rocky time in the early stages, things were vastly improved between the men and women of the village, and they now work side-by-side on all the projects the men used to manage in their enforced labour. They're even voluntarily having children...of both genders.'

Even though that was good news, he still didn't see what it had to do with him. 'Well, good for them...Look, can I go now; I really need to get the dirt out of my boots –'

Elizabeth held up a hand as Sheppard tried to stand. 'There's more, John.'

His heart sank as he hit the seat again. He'd had a horrible feeling there might be. 'Go on,' he sighed.

'They said they're very grateful for the part you played in reuniting their society and fixing the weapon that protects their planet. They want to begin trade with us as a demonstration of mutual trust and friendship.'

Although he knew that was promising considering the nature of the weapon they possessed, he couldn't muster much enthusiasm for the idea himself. 'Well, that's great. I'm sure Major Lorne and his team can handle that side of things from here on.'

'John –'

He held up a finger and she snapped her mouth shut. 'Elizabeth – don't ask me to go back and handle the trade with them. I was glad to get off that planet and I have no intention of setting foot on it again...at least not while I still have a pulse.'

He stood to leave again, but Elizabeth was up and out of her seat so quickly she blocked the doorway before he got to it.

'They want to thank you in person, John. That's all.'

He threw his head back, and let out a sigh. 'Of course they do,' he replied, smiling wryly back at her as he planted his hands on his hips. 'And what do they have in mind...a nice fruit basket?'

'They want to hold some kind of festivity in your honour.'

Sheppard just glared at her, deciding it best not to honour that with the response now teetering on the tip of his tongue.

'Tomorrow night,' she continued.

He still bit it back.

'I said you'd be there.'

Jaw clenching, he hissed. 'Because you just knew how much I love a good party...especially on Medulsa.'

Elizabeth swallowed hard, but her gaze was unwavering. 'I know bad things happened to you there, John, but those people have changed. They want to say thank you, and this could be really important to our relations with their planet.'

'Tell them I got called to something else,' he growled, trying to get past her.

She put her hand on his chest, just long enough to stop him. Then, clearly realising her fingers had touched the site of the scar from the Wraith feeding he'd endured only a few weeks ago, she snatched it back again. 'The festivities are in your honour, John. They're not going to be too impressed if you don't turn up.'

He knew Elizabeth was right, and his rational mind told him to suck it up and go back there. But the thought of meeting up with Sarayah again wasn't one he even wanted to give the light of day.

'It's just one evening,' she almost begged, still trying to wear him down. 'And if we make the right impression, we could eventually get access to that weapon of theirs, and I know I don't have to tell you how useful that could prove.'

Sheppard recognised emotional blackmail when he heard it, so wasn't about to give in so easily. Part of him wanted to say yes because he did know how useful the weapon could be, but he didn't like the way Elizabeth had volunteered him to attend without even asking if he was okay with it. This had become a matter of principle. He had to at least make her work for it. 'I'm surprised Allanae wants to go to the effort. She made it quite clear she wanted us off the planet and out of their lives as quickly as possible.'

'Well, power has shifted in Medulsa. Allanae passed away a few months after we left, and Alishia assumed her position following a vote among all the villagers. I guess they felt she was the most sensible choice following her conduct concerning the Wraith threat you alerted her to.'

Alishia was certainly a safe pair of hands from what he'd seen of her. He'd initially thought her to be nothing more than a thug, but she was a perfect example of the old adage, 'Don't judge a book by its cover'.

'Is this about Sarayah?' Elizabeth suddenly asked, interrupting his thoughts.

He blinked at her, wondering if he was really that transparent, the mere mention of the woman's name bringing all his bull-headed rebelliousness right to the surface. He glanced over his shoulder at Lorne, who lifted a quizzical eyebrow. No doubt he'd heard stories about her along the way, inaccurate ones spun by McKay in one of his more melodramatic moods, and so had a pretty good idea who this Sarayah woman was.

'Would you give us a moment please, Major?' Sheppard said with enforced calm.

Giving him a slight shrug, and a 'Yes, Sir,' Lorne made himself scarce, both of them stepping back to let him out of the door.

The moment the major was gone, he shut it. 'No, this is not about her,' Sheppard spat, unable to even bring himself to even say the woman's name. 'This is about respect, Elizabeth. And right now, you're not showing me any.'

Her eyes widened in genuine shock as she leaned back from the strength of his accusation. 'Don't you think you're over-reacting just a little here?'

'No...no I don't. Those people put me through hell while I was there, and when I got back here, when we were in isolation, I distinctly remember saying I would never set foot on that planet again, and you said that was okay,' he yelled, jabbing his finger toward her.

She sighed, returning to her desk and sitting down, gesturing for him to do the same. He didn't, just stayed right by the door, hands on hips and glaring.

'I know what I said, John, and I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't important. The Medulsans sound like they're genuinely grateful for all you did for them. Surely you don't want to offend them by refusing the invitation to a party in your honour?'

More emotional blackmail. He felt his hackles bristle. 'I wouldn't be causing offence if you hadn't said I would be there without consulting me first,' he pointed out.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, and leaned back in her seat, swaying it a little from side to side as she scrutinised him. 'All right, John. I apologise for speaking on your behalf...it won't happen again. Now...what can we do to make this situation more bearable for you?'

Though he was pleased she'd given him an apology, he didn't think she'd worked hard enough to earn his agreement just yet. 'Tell them I'm busy,' he repeated.

She raised her chin, giving him a faint smile. 'I can't do that. I don't want to jeopardise this fragile arrangement before it's even cemented. Be honest with me, John. Is this anger really all because I accepted without asking, or is some of it because of "that woman"?' Elizabeth asked, trying to delve a little deeper.

He knew the truth was, at some subconscious level, he associated that planet with deprivation, pain and violation, and that was definitely because of how Sarayah had run the prison complex. He rolled his eyes, and shrugged non-committally. 'Maybe...yes,' he conceded. With the wind taken out of his sails, he trudged back to his seat and sullenly threw himself into it. 'You can't blame me for that.'

'No, of course not,' Elizabeth agreed. 'So, I say again, what can we do to make this situation more bearable for you?'

Knowing any repeat of his request to tell the Medulsans he was otherwise engaged would be pointless, he sighed and gave it some thought. 'If you could guarantee I'm not going to run into her, I might reconsider.'

Elizabeth smiled, apparently satisfied with his answer. 'There, I knew we could work something out.'

Annoyed she'd forced him to concede the point, Sheppard folded his arms across his chest and gave her an icy look. 'I haven't said I'm going yet.'

'No...but you will,' she smirked. 'First thing in the morning I'll head out with Major Lorne's team and discuss the finer points of the festivities. I'll let you know what I make out.'

'Great...I'm thrilled.'

'Well, I know how much you love these celebrations,' she quipped.

Seeing an opportunity for a little revenge, he spoke up again. 'There is one other condition to my attendance,' he announced, throwing her a crooked smile. 'You have to come, too.'

Her smile instantly evaporated. 'I...well, I need to catch up with my staff evaluations...'

'It's only one evening,' he pointed out, bouncing her own excuse right back at her.

Obviously realising this was one argument she wasn't about to win, she nodded. 'All right, I suppose since I was part of that whole debacle on the planet two years ago, it seems fitting I should attend, too.'

'Good. Well, you make some kind of deal to ensure that crazy witch won't be at this hoe down, and I might just turn up.'

'I'll do my best.'

'I'm sure you will. Can I go now?'

'Of course. I'll update you tomorrow,' she said, turning to her laptop and making herself look busy.

'Looking forward to it.' He pushed up from the chair, remembering now that he had more urgent matters to attend to, like washing, changing his clothes, and eating enough for six to settle his ravenous appetite. All that after he'd answered the inexorable call of Mother Nature, of course. Now, there was one woman he didn't mind obeying.

A/N Reviews are gratefully received and will be replied to if they are fair and/or constructive.