A.N- In an attempt to help Luka, Susan confesses something to herself that
she had been trying to hide. And, in all this, Luka realizes something too.
It's my first Lusan story, so please R&R to let me know what you think. TY!
^_^
_~_~_~_~_~_~_
"Alright, Malik, I'll see you tomorrow!"
Susan smiled at him and waved as she walked out of the ER and out to the ambulance bay. The usual Chicago winter was starting to make its way in, so she wrapped her scarf closely to her as she started to walk out and out to her car. Besides from the coldness, the sky seemed clear except for a few clouds. Other than that, little stars were shining clearly in the sky. Sighing, she tucked her hair behind her ears and was about to start to put her gloves on, but she saw someone sitting on a bench. Alone and just staring out into the darkness of the streets ahead.
"Luka?"
At his name, Luka looked up immediately and turned to her; startled. "Oh, hi, Susan."
Frowning slightly, she walked towards him and sat down next to him. "Are you alright? I thought that you had gotten off an hour ago."
"Yeah, I- I did."
As she looked at him, she noticed that he was only wearing the jacket of his suit; no coat or anything else. The tip of his nose seemed a little cold, and she wondered if he even realized that the temperature was dropping. "Luka, aren't you cold? It's freezing. . . What's wrong. . .?
Luka smiled slightly and shook his head. "Nothing, just. I just sat here and lost track of time, I guess."
"Oh, come on, Kovac, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Susan. I just didn't want to go home and just sat here." He smiled slightly again as he leaned back against the bench. "Like I said, I just lost track of time. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, huh?" Sighing mentally, he started to stand up. It was actually true that he didn't want to go home. There was nothing for him to go home to. No one. He would just go there to sit on the couch and pop open a few beers before going to sleep. That had been his routine for a few weeks now and the only other thing that would change that routine would be when he went to bars and would spend some 'quality time' with the "friendly" people there.
Susan noticed that there was something wrong with him. Actually, everyone in the ER had noticed that. There were times that he seemed to just want to drown himself with work and there were other times that he seemed to not care about anything. If it hadn't been for that Croatian doctor that had come over a few weeks ago and for those things that she had told them about Luka and how. . .happy he had been once upon a time in Croatia, no one would really think of him that way. It had been so long since she had last seen him smile-a full out smile instead of a small one that seemed to be forced. And, even if he had seemed to be doing a lot of stupid things lately, he was still one of her friends and she didn't want to see him hurt. She knew that he was lonely, and that that was why he acted the way he did. But she knew that there was another reason aside from that: she cared about him, and not just as a friend. She had for a while, but she had always tried to ignore it. To keep it tucked away.
But as he started to stand, she sighed mentally and stood as well. "Well, hey, I don't really want to go home either, why don't we keep each other company."
"Thanks, Susan, but you don't have to do this. I'm fine."
Susan smiled slightly. "Yeah, but I still don't want to go home and you don't either, so come on. We can go down to the lake and walk around for a little bit." She smiled as he chuckled. "What do you say? Besides, maybe it'll help you with keeping warm now that you don't have a coat on and it's freezing."
Luka looked at her and smiled slightly, nodding. "Ok, I guess you're right."
~~*~~~*~~*~~*~~
"So, why were you really out there in the ambulance bay?" Susan turned to Luka as she kept eating her cotton candy and he barely started eating the pretzel that he had just bought. They had gone down to the lake and were enjoying the night view and how the moon had started to slowly come out from behind the clouds and the way that it reflected in the water. Since it was so cold and it was starting to get late, there weren't a lot of people around.
Luka turned to her and smiled slightly, shaking his head and just. . .hoping that she would let go of the question. Swallowing the bite of the pretzel he had taken, he answered, "I already told you; I didn't want to go home. It's. . . It has been a hard few weeks."
Susan smiled slightly back, nodding. "Yeah, I've noticed. I think that we've all noticed, actually."
"Oh, really? Heh, I didn't know that it was that noticeable. . ."
"Maybe you should take a few days off, Luka. You deserve it. Besides, you haven't taken time off in a while, you know."
Luka shook his head and sighed. "No reason to." He forced out a smile. "Besides, I've been trying to avoid going home; I'm not just going to go and stay there for a few days."
Smiling, she shook her head. "You could go on vacation. Hey, maybe you should go to a beach or something and just. . .take it easy. That'd be fun."
Considering, he stayed silent as he took another bite of the pretzel. Turning to her, he smiled; a small smile anyway but one that was not forced for once. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I should."
"Luka. . . I know that that there have been some hard weeks in the past, but you do know that if you need to talk, you're not alone. You can talk to me whenever you need to. And it doesn't have to be right now, you can talk whenever you want." Smiling, she offered some of her cotton candy to him. She was afraid that he would do something that he would later regret. That he would do something. . .destructive. Lately he had been so quiet and distracted at times. Kept to himself most of the time, and they all noticed but didn't know if they should say anything. She still remembered Div, and how depressed he had been. And how she hadn't been able to help him. How he had run away and she hadn't been able to do anything for him. How she still wished that she could have helped him feel better; even if they hadn't ended up together.
Luka turned to Susan and smiled slightly, taking a small piece of the cotton candy. "I know, Susan. Thank you. I really appreciate it." They stayed silent for a while, and Luka didn't continue eating the pretzel. In fact, he had lost his appetite. Part of him wanted to talk to her; to just get rid of all the weight that seemed to be eating him inside. It seemed like all the things that he had in his mind were coming to haunt him once more and, right now, he just wanted to let everything go. He wanted all that was haunting him to leave him alone. The other part of him, though, just wished to be left alone. Just hoped that he could sort everything out on his own instead of having to tell her.
Taking a breath, he turned to her and he couldn't help but smile when he saw her staring at him. She seemed so. . .beautiful in the moonlight. Her eyes shined, as if two of the many stars that were in the sky had settled in her eyes and were shining as she looked at him. When the wind started blowing and a few strands of her hair started to float with it. After hesitating, he brought his hand up and gently tucked her hair behind her ear for her.
Susan, of course, had not been expecting that. She had been about to ask him to hold the cotton candy for her while she tied her hair back, but. . . When he did that, though, she felt herself shiver slightly. It felt as the shiver moved slowly along her whole body and up and down her spine a few times. Even if it was the first time that he had done that, she immediately loved that feeling. As she stared at him, and she saw his own hair fly gently with the breeze, she smiled. It felt like time was frozen in place. Like they were the only ones that were there by the lake and that no one could ever break this moment. As if nothing, and no one, would ever bother them. That they would be together. That there were no troubles and no worries. She knew that she sounded like a little crush-struck little girl, but she found herself even liking it.
But, like she had experienced in the past, all things come to an end. And the good ones came to an end faster. When he pulled back and started walking again, she sighed mentally and followed next to him; quiet in case that he would talk. Silence followed but, when she was about to talk a few minutes later, she heard how Luka took a deep breath in; as if building enough courage to say what was in his mind. She turned to him, still silent to not make him feel like she was pushing him.
"I don't know what it is, Susan. I guess. . . Lately it's just hard to be alone, you know? It's hard to go home and just. . .be there, without nothing else to do. I mean. . ." Luka sighed and looked out to the water, silent for a short while before talking in a low voice; as if afraid of his own confession. "I don't know, I guess it's just. . .scary to think that I'll probably end up this way. All alone and without anyone. No wife, no kids. . . Nothing." He stayed silent again for a while before shaking his head slightly. "Forget it. It's stupid."
Susan had been listening to him, and the sadness in his voice made her heart clench for him. When he said the last, she shook her head and smiled slightly at him. "No, Luka, it's not stupid. I know how you feel."
"You do?"
"I don't know if you know this, but I'm in that same spot where you are. No wife, no kids. . . My family's not exactly the ideal one or one that I would often visit and stay with. . ." She stayed silent for a while too, watching him, before smiling slightly again. "But you're lucky."
Luka turned to her and frowned slightly in confusion. "'Lucky'?
Susan nodded. "Yeah, you're lucky. You got to experience it already, Luka. . . You- You had a wife, two children. I know that they were taken away from you, but you still got to live it. I think you're pretty lucky in that sense. Some people live their whole lives and never even get to even get close to it." When she saw him smile and nod slightly, she smiled too. It was another one that was obviously not forced. "But, you know what? I don't think that you'll end up alone. You deserve someone."
Chuckling, Luka shook his head and smiled; a hint of sadness in his voice. "No, Susan, I don't think so. I used to think so too, but. . . Not anymore."
Taking a shot at it, Susan sighed and shook her head. "You know, I think that Abby and Carter are happy. Maybe you should be happy for them too. . ."
Luka frowned slightly and turned to her again. "What are you talking about? What brought that up?"
Susan, at that, laughed lightly and shook her head. "Oh, come on, Luka. I was there when the lockdown, remember? I was there when you saw Abby and Carter kissing." When she saw the pained expression on his face, she couldn't help but regret saying that. Luka had been about to go to tell Carter that Kerry wanted to talk to him, but he had just frozen outside that door. She had been following him, about to tell him that some guy had gotten a cut and that they needed to go and see if anyone else was hurt, but she had stopped when he had. She had asked about three times what was wrong, but when she followed his gaze towards the trauma room where Abby and Carter were, and she saw them kissing and hugging, she turned to look at Luka once more only to see his head lower, with a look of defeat and pain sketched all over his face.
Luka could also remember that night. But he hadn't noticed Susan next to him. He just remembered that kiss. How it made him realize that he lost her. That he would never get a second chance to tell Abby that he loved her. That he missed her and that they deserved a second chance; that they shouldn't just get rid of what they once had. That he needed her. But all that had gotten locked in his heart and he knew that that was a big reason on why he had been acting the way he had lately. After losing Abby, he was afraid that he had let go of the only person that meant something to him in that way. That he had lost the one person that he had actually loved once more after Danjiela and that, after Abby, he would never be able to love anyone else. That his heart was hardened forever. After he had seen that kiss and he swallowed the thick knot that seemed to be choking-almost killing him-he took a step back and walked away to calm the other people that had been in the ER until it was open once more. He didn't remember Susan trying to talk to him, trying to ask him if he was ok.
"I'm sorry, Luka, I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's ok. I actually agree with you; I *should* be happy for them."
Susan, throwing away the bag of the cotton candy, smiled slightly at him. "You know. I know it hurts, but it goes away. It really does."
Luka threw away the pretzel, even if it was more than half of it. He just wasn't hungry anymore. Shaking his head slightly he turned to the lake once more before turning to her. "I know." His voice seemed to lower and get husky. "But it hasn't in all this time."
She noticed the sadness in his voice and in his eyes and, even if her heart seemed to break for him, she still knew that she needed to help him. To at least try to cheer him up. "Ah, just give it a little more time. Maybe it'll go away before you know it."
Luka turned to Susan and smiled, sorely wishing that he hadn't fallen in love with Abby. Wishing that the one he had fallen in love with had been with Susan. He had spent good times with Abby, memories that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world, but now it was that he wished that he could be able to put them in the past; where they belonged. Abby and Carter were together now, and there was nothing that he could do about it. Abby didn't want him, she wanted Carter. He just hoped that he could be able to get rid of what he was feeling for Abby and that; soon, he could be able to move on. Smiling at her, he kissed her cheek softly before smiling at her again. "Thank you. You're a great person to talk to."
At the kiss, Susan could feel the back of her neck blush slightly. She smile nonetheless, however, and they hugged. "I'm glad I could help; even if it's a little bit." As they hugged each other, Susan felt so secure in his arms, and even wondered why Abby had given him up. He was such a sweet guy, nice, funny. . . As she hugged him, she suddenly felt something fall on the tip of her nose and she opened her eyes; noticing that it was starting to snow. Smiling, she turned to Luka; not pulling back too much from his arms. She liked being there. . . "Hey, look, it's snowing."
Luka looked up towards the sky, his arms loosely around her, and when he saw the small snowflakes twirling down slowly onto the ground, he smiled as well. "It's the first snow, isn't it?" When he turned to her and saw her grinning and nodding, he smiled. She looked so beautiful. . . Without realizing what he was doing, he brought his hand up to touch her chin before moving close to her; lightly kissing her lips and caressing her cheek gently with his thumb.
Susan didn't have time to react; she just kissed him back just as lightly and looped her arms loosely around his neck. They kissed for a while, not noticing the time, the weather, or even that they were kissing each other. When they pulled back slightly, and Susan finally saw Luka, she stared at him in surprise; a look that Luka seemed to return as well.
"I- I'm sorry, Susan, I-"
Susan shook her head slightly and did her best to smile. "It's ok, I'm sorry, too."
"I- It's just. . . You-"
She did her best to keep up her smile, feeling her hopes that he had felt something in that kiss crashing down around her. She had hoped that that kiss had meant something. That maybe, just maybe, they could have a chance together. . . "I'm not Abby. I know." She started to walk again so that he wouldn't see the disappointment in her eyes and, as she did so, a gust of cold wind blew in and made her hold her closer to her.
Noticing that, Luka immediately took off the jacket of his suit and put it around her. When Susan was going to complain about him doing that, he shook his head as he smiled. "It's ok."
"Luka, you'll freeze. . . This is the only jacket that you have on."
"Hey, it's fine. Really."
Susan gave him a small grateful smile. "Thanks. I. . . I'm going to go home now, though."
"N- Now?" Luka smiled slightly. "Why don't you stay, I'll buy you another cotton candy."
Susan smiled. "Thanks, but I have to go. I- I have an early shift tomorrow and have to get some sleep. Thanks for tonight, though. For the cotton candy."
Luka smiled back. "And thanks for listening to me." Smiling, he waved slightly but when she turned around and was about to give him the jacket back, he shook his head quickly. "Oh, no, it's ok. Just. . .keep it, ok? I'll be fine."
Again, she smiled and nodded slightly before starting for her car, not daring to look back. It hurt that Luka regretted the kiss. That he was so hung up on Abby to even notice other women. To notice her. . .
If she would have noticed, though, she would have seen that Luka was watching her go. That, no matter how he felt about Abby, right now something seemed to be stirring up inside of him. Something that he hadn't expected from the kiss.
But, at the same time, something that he wanted to experience again.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_
"Alright, Malik, I'll see you tomorrow!"
Susan smiled at him and waved as she walked out of the ER and out to the ambulance bay. The usual Chicago winter was starting to make its way in, so she wrapped her scarf closely to her as she started to walk out and out to her car. Besides from the coldness, the sky seemed clear except for a few clouds. Other than that, little stars were shining clearly in the sky. Sighing, she tucked her hair behind her ears and was about to start to put her gloves on, but she saw someone sitting on a bench. Alone and just staring out into the darkness of the streets ahead.
"Luka?"
At his name, Luka looked up immediately and turned to her; startled. "Oh, hi, Susan."
Frowning slightly, she walked towards him and sat down next to him. "Are you alright? I thought that you had gotten off an hour ago."
"Yeah, I- I did."
As she looked at him, she noticed that he was only wearing the jacket of his suit; no coat or anything else. The tip of his nose seemed a little cold, and she wondered if he even realized that the temperature was dropping. "Luka, aren't you cold? It's freezing. . . What's wrong. . .?
Luka smiled slightly and shook his head. "Nothing, just. I just sat here and lost track of time, I guess."
"Oh, come on, Kovac, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Susan. I just didn't want to go home and just sat here." He smiled slightly again as he leaned back against the bench. "Like I said, I just lost track of time. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, huh?" Sighing mentally, he started to stand up. It was actually true that he didn't want to go home. There was nothing for him to go home to. No one. He would just go there to sit on the couch and pop open a few beers before going to sleep. That had been his routine for a few weeks now and the only other thing that would change that routine would be when he went to bars and would spend some 'quality time' with the "friendly" people there.
Susan noticed that there was something wrong with him. Actually, everyone in the ER had noticed that. There were times that he seemed to just want to drown himself with work and there were other times that he seemed to not care about anything. If it hadn't been for that Croatian doctor that had come over a few weeks ago and for those things that she had told them about Luka and how. . .happy he had been once upon a time in Croatia, no one would really think of him that way. It had been so long since she had last seen him smile-a full out smile instead of a small one that seemed to be forced. And, even if he had seemed to be doing a lot of stupid things lately, he was still one of her friends and she didn't want to see him hurt. She knew that he was lonely, and that that was why he acted the way he did. But she knew that there was another reason aside from that: she cared about him, and not just as a friend. She had for a while, but she had always tried to ignore it. To keep it tucked away.
But as he started to stand, she sighed mentally and stood as well. "Well, hey, I don't really want to go home either, why don't we keep each other company."
"Thanks, Susan, but you don't have to do this. I'm fine."
Susan smiled slightly. "Yeah, but I still don't want to go home and you don't either, so come on. We can go down to the lake and walk around for a little bit." She smiled as he chuckled. "What do you say? Besides, maybe it'll help you with keeping warm now that you don't have a coat on and it's freezing."
Luka looked at her and smiled slightly, nodding. "Ok, I guess you're right."
~~*~~~*~~*~~*~~
"So, why were you really out there in the ambulance bay?" Susan turned to Luka as she kept eating her cotton candy and he barely started eating the pretzel that he had just bought. They had gone down to the lake and were enjoying the night view and how the moon had started to slowly come out from behind the clouds and the way that it reflected in the water. Since it was so cold and it was starting to get late, there weren't a lot of people around.
Luka turned to her and smiled slightly, shaking his head and just. . .hoping that she would let go of the question. Swallowing the bite of the pretzel he had taken, he answered, "I already told you; I didn't want to go home. It's. . . It has been a hard few weeks."
Susan smiled slightly back, nodding. "Yeah, I've noticed. I think that we've all noticed, actually."
"Oh, really? Heh, I didn't know that it was that noticeable. . ."
"Maybe you should take a few days off, Luka. You deserve it. Besides, you haven't taken time off in a while, you know."
Luka shook his head and sighed. "No reason to." He forced out a smile. "Besides, I've been trying to avoid going home; I'm not just going to go and stay there for a few days."
Smiling, she shook her head. "You could go on vacation. Hey, maybe you should go to a beach or something and just. . .take it easy. That'd be fun."
Considering, he stayed silent as he took another bite of the pretzel. Turning to her, he smiled; a small smile anyway but one that was not forced for once. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I should."
"Luka. . . I know that that there have been some hard weeks in the past, but you do know that if you need to talk, you're not alone. You can talk to me whenever you need to. And it doesn't have to be right now, you can talk whenever you want." Smiling, she offered some of her cotton candy to him. She was afraid that he would do something that he would later regret. That he would do something. . .destructive. Lately he had been so quiet and distracted at times. Kept to himself most of the time, and they all noticed but didn't know if they should say anything. She still remembered Div, and how depressed he had been. And how she hadn't been able to help him. How he had run away and she hadn't been able to do anything for him. How she still wished that she could have helped him feel better; even if they hadn't ended up together.
Luka turned to Susan and smiled slightly, taking a small piece of the cotton candy. "I know, Susan. Thank you. I really appreciate it." They stayed silent for a while, and Luka didn't continue eating the pretzel. In fact, he had lost his appetite. Part of him wanted to talk to her; to just get rid of all the weight that seemed to be eating him inside. It seemed like all the things that he had in his mind were coming to haunt him once more and, right now, he just wanted to let everything go. He wanted all that was haunting him to leave him alone. The other part of him, though, just wished to be left alone. Just hoped that he could sort everything out on his own instead of having to tell her.
Taking a breath, he turned to her and he couldn't help but smile when he saw her staring at him. She seemed so. . .beautiful in the moonlight. Her eyes shined, as if two of the many stars that were in the sky had settled in her eyes and were shining as she looked at him. When the wind started blowing and a few strands of her hair started to float with it. After hesitating, he brought his hand up and gently tucked her hair behind her ear for her.
Susan, of course, had not been expecting that. She had been about to ask him to hold the cotton candy for her while she tied her hair back, but. . . When he did that, though, she felt herself shiver slightly. It felt as the shiver moved slowly along her whole body and up and down her spine a few times. Even if it was the first time that he had done that, she immediately loved that feeling. As she stared at him, and she saw his own hair fly gently with the breeze, she smiled. It felt like time was frozen in place. Like they were the only ones that were there by the lake and that no one could ever break this moment. As if nothing, and no one, would ever bother them. That they would be together. That there were no troubles and no worries. She knew that she sounded like a little crush-struck little girl, but she found herself even liking it.
But, like she had experienced in the past, all things come to an end. And the good ones came to an end faster. When he pulled back and started walking again, she sighed mentally and followed next to him; quiet in case that he would talk. Silence followed but, when she was about to talk a few minutes later, she heard how Luka took a deep breath in; as if building enough courage to say what was in his mind. She turned to him, still silent to not make him feel like she was pushing him.
"I don't know what it is, Susan. I guess. . . Lately it's just hard to be alone, you know? It's hard to go home and just. . .be there, without nothing else to do. I mean. . ." Luka sighed and looked out to the water, silent for a short while before talking in a low voice; as if afraid of his own confession. "I don't know, I guess it's just. . .scary to think that I'll probably end up this way. All alone and without anyone. No wife, no kids. . . Nothing." He stayed silent again for a while before shaking his head slightly. "Forget it. It's stupid."
Susan had been listening to him, and the sadness in his voice made her heart clench for him. When he said the last, she shook her head and smiled slightly at him. "No, Luka, it's not stupid. I know how you feel."
"You do?"
"I don't know if you know this, but I'm in that same spot where you are. No wife, no kids. . . My family's not exactly the ideal one or one that I would often visit and stay with. . ." She stayed silent for a while too, watching him, before smiling slightly again. "But you're lucky."
Luka turned to her and frowned slightly in confusion. "'Lucky'?
Susan nodded. "Yeah, you're lucky. You got to experience it already, Luka. . . You- You had a wife, two children. I know that they were taken away from you, but you still got to live it. I think you're pretty lucky in that sense. Some people live their whole lives and never even get to even get close to it." When she saw him smile and nod slightly, she smiled too. It was another one that was obviously not forced. "But, you know what? I don't think that you'll end up alone. You deserve someone."
Chuckling, Luka shook his head and smiled; a hint of sadness in his voice. "No, Susan, I don't think so. I used to think so too, but. . . Not anymore."
Taking a shot at it, Susan sighed and shook her head. "You know, I think that Abby and Carter are happy. Maybe you should be happy for them too. . ."
Luka frowned slightly and turned to her again. "What are you talking about? What brought that up?"
Susan, at that, laughed lightly and shook her head. "Oh, come on, Luka. I was there when the lockdown, remember? I was there when you saw Abby and Carter kissing." When she saw the pained expression on his face, she couldn't help but regret saying that. Luka had been about to go to tell Carter that Kerry wanted to talk to him, but he had just frozen outside that door. She had been following him, about to tell him that some guy had gotten a cut and that they needed to go and see if anyone else was hurt, but she had stopped when he had. She had asked about three times what was wrong, but when she followed his gaze towards the trauma room where Abby and Carter were, and she saw them kissing and hugging, she turned to look at Luka once more only to see his head lower, with a look of defeat and pain sketched all over his face.
Luka could also remember that night. But he hadn't noticed Susan next to him. He just remembered that kiss. How it made him realize that he lost her. That he would never get a second chance to tell Abby that he loved her. That he missed her and that they deserved a second chance; that they shouldn't just get rid of what they once had. That he needed her. But all that had gotten locked in his heart and he knew that that was a big reason on why he had been acting the way he had lately. After losing Abby, he was afraid that he had let go of the only person that meant something to him in that way. That he had lost the one person that he had actually loved once more after Danjiela and that, after Abby, he would never be able to love anyone else. That his heart was hardened forever. After he had seen that kiss and he swallowed the thick knot that seemed to be choking-almost killing him-he took a step back and walked away to calm the other people that had been in the ER until it was open once more. He didn't remember Susan trying to talk to him, trying to ask him if he was ok.
"I'm sorry, Luka, I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's ok. I actually agree with you; I *should* be happy for them."
Susan, throwing away the bag of the cotton candy, smiled slightly at him. "You know. I know it hurts, but it goes away. It really does."
Luka threw away the pretzel, even if it was more than half of it. He just wasn't hungry anymore. Shaking his head slightly he turned to the lake once more before turning to her. "I know." His voice seemed to lower and get husky. "But it hasn't in all this time."
She noticed the sadness in his voice and in his eyes and, even if her heart seemed to break for him, she still knew that she needed to help him. To at least try to cheer him up. "Ah, just give it a little more time. Maybe it'll go away before you know it."
Luka turned to Susan and smiled, sorely wishing that he hadn't fallen in love with Abby. Wishing that the one he had fallen in love with had been with Susan. He had spent good times with Abby, memories that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world, but now it was that he wished that he could be able to put them in the past; where they belonged. Abby and Carter were together now, and there was nothing that he could do about it. Abby didn't want him, she wanted Carter. He just hoped that he could be able to get rid of what he was feeling for Abby and that; soon, he could be able to move on. Smiling at her, he kissed her cheek softly before smiling at her again. "Thank you. You're a great person to talk to."
At the kiss, Susan could feel the back of her neck blush slightly. She smile nonetheless, however, and they hugged. "I'm glad I could help; even if it's a little bit." As they hugged each other, Susan felt so secure in his arms, and even wondered why Abby had given him up. He was such a sweet guy, nice, funny. . . As she hugged him, she suddenly felt something fall on the tip of her nose and she opened her eyes; noticing that it was starting to snow. Smiling, she turned to Luka; not pulling back too much from his arms. She liked being there. . . "Hey, look, it's snowing."
Luka looked up towards the sky, his arms loosely around her, and when he saw the small snowflakes twirling down slowly onto the ground, he smiled as well. "It's the first snow, isn't it?" When he turned to her and saw her grinning and nodding, he smiled. She looked so beautiful. . . Without realizing what he was doing, he brought his hand up to touch her chin before moving close to her; lightly kissing her lips and caressing her cheek gently with his thumb.
Susan didn't have time to react; she just kissed him back just as lightly and looped her arms loosely around his neck. They kissed for a while, not noticing the time, the weather, or even that they were kissing each other. When they pulled back slightly, and Susan finally saw Luka, she stared at him in surprise; a look that Luka seemed to return as well.
"I- I'm sorry, Susan, I-"
Susan shook her head slightly and did her best to smile. "It's ok, I'm sorry, too."
"I- It's just. . . You-"
She did her best to keep up her smile, feeling her hopes that he had felt something in that kiss crashing down around her. She had hoped that that kiss had meant something. That maybe, just maybe, they could have a chance together. . . "I'm not Abby. I know." She started to walk again so that he wouldn't see the disappointment in her eyes and, as she did so, a gust of cold wind blew in and made her hold her closer to her.
Noticing that, Luka immediately took off the jacket of his suit and put it around her. When Susan was going to complain about him doing that, he shook his head as he smiled. "It's ok."
"Luka, you'll freeze. . . This is the only jacket that you have on."
"Hey, it's fine. Really."
Susan gave him a small grateful smile. "Thanks. I. . . I'm going to go home now, though."
"N- Now?" Luka smiled slightly. "Why don't you stay, I'll buy you another cotton candy."
Susan smiled. "Thanks, but I have to go. I- I have an early shift tomorrow and have to get some sleep. Thanks for tonight, though. For the cotton candy."
Luka smiled back. "And thanks for listening to me." Smiling, he waved slightly but when she turned around and was about to give him the jacket back, he shook his head quickly. "Oh, no, it's ok. Just. . .keep it, ok? I'll be fine."
Again, she smiled and nodded slightly before starting for her car, not daring to look back. It hurt that Luka regretted the kiss. That he was so hung up on Abby to even notice other women. To notice her. . .
If she would have noticed, though, she would have seen that Luka was watching her go. That, no matter how he felt about Abby, right now something seemed to be stirring up inside of him. Something that he hadn't expected from the kiss.
But, at the same time, something that he wanted to experience again.