Life Underwater
by Thyme In Her Eyes
Author's Notes: This shortfic was written for the CloudxAerith Forum's 100 Themes Challenge, the theme being "Carp" (I just couldn't resist...). I originally wanted to go for something cute and funny, but ended up with this more serious piece instead. Anyway, I own neither the characters or franchise, and just want you to enjoy this ficlet! All feedback is appreciated.
-- LIFE UNDERWATER --
As he lowered her body into the lake, trying to ignore how much the soft feel of her wet hair clinging to his arm hurt, he hadn't wanted to look at her face. It was too much. But somehow he'd found himself being pulled towards her anyway, stupidly feeling that maybe if he looked one last time, he'd see something different, something that might take the pain away or offer some small hope. Instead, as he watched the water accept her and steal her away, he couldn't help but think of how small she looked. How young.
It killed to see her like that; young, hurt and falling into water that could never wash away what had been done to her. It tore to see her many moods gone, and to know that they'd never come back. That tired and small face, half-protected by swirling brown hair, wasn't the Aeris he knew.
Letting her sink was easy afterwards. Disgusted at himself for letting this happen to her, it almost scalded to hold her. Her face had been beautiful, he realized then, but he'd helped ruin everything that made it so special.
Years later, that face still came to him in bad dreams. But instead of sinking into that old anguish, that confused sense of guilt and loss, Cloud would think of something else – something stronger. He'd remember when the group had stopped at Wutai and how welcoming and generous Yuffie had been after the Don Corneo incident, and how everyone had grudgingly accepted that hospitality, if only to make the most of a chance to relax for the day.
Most importantly, he'd remember walking through the city, browsing through weapons and items stores, and then turning his head at the right moment and noticing Aeris crouching in a traditional garden by a koi pond. Her right hand was dipped in the water, still and savoring, and each time a fish brushed by her fingers she'd smile and sometimes laugh, her eyes full of secretive joy, as if she was spending time with old friends. As if they were sharing secrets only she could appreciate. She was so absorbed in the goings-on under the water that she'd never realized he was there, and there was something about how happy she looked that made it impossible for him not to stay and watch her for just a while longer.
Whenever the small, dead face wandered unwanted into his sleep, quietly forcing him to wrestle with his guilty conscience, Cloud would push it far away from him. It was easy, when all he needed was to conjure up that brief moment and remember how the sunlight reflecting on the water played beautiful tricks with the smile blooming on her face.
-- FIN --