Thick
******
OK, so I know some people are sick and tired of post-"Lights Up" stories, but I wanted to take my turn at writing one :) We all have our opinions on how Bosco felt about what Faith said to him, and this is my attempt to get into Bosco's mind. I hope you like it!
******
Sometimes I just sit and watch TV, and sometimes I just sit and stare at the TV. I don't really watch it. I mean I see what's going on, but I don't hear any of the voices or anything because there are already too many voices running through my head. Today is one of those days.
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"How many damn people'd I bring in?!"
"I think you locked up half the precinct."
-------
This whole citywide blackout was insane. All the people out in the streets causing trouble. Shit, they were stealing stuff, setting cars on fire. I don't understand why people turn into such animals when the lights go out. I mean can't they just light a couple candles, stay at home and wait for the power to come back on? Why do they have to get all possessed and shit and run through the streets? Can anybody answer that for me? It's like the power goes out and instead of the electricity running through the power lines it starts coursing through people's veins.
Knowing that Faith was out there somewhere scared me. I know, she's a big girl, she's a cop. But I just had this feeling that something was wrong because she's *always* there ready to help when the shit hits the fan. *Always*.
I was just pulling up as she was carrying Fred out of the doctor's office. Damn I wish I had figured things out earlier. I don't know how bad off Fred is, but maybe if I'd found them earlier things would be better. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Waiting sucks. I'm impatient. I want to know how things are going to turn out right away. I don't want to sit around and wait for news. I hate waiting for news...especially when it's more than likely bad.
******
"No sense of discretion. You don't use your head."
"Immature...."
"Unreliable..."
"Useless..."
---------
Earlier today Faith really ripped into me. (Wait, was that today? I have no idea how many hours I worked, I *feel* like I worked a week straight.) Anyway, she tore me up one side and down the other. And I let her. It's what she needed. So I let her.
People think I'm kinda 'thick'. You know, kinda stubborn, kinda stupid. I'm thick. If it had been Sully or Doherty or some jag-off out on the streets that said those things to me I would have flipped. No doubt in my mind I would have beat their ass, but it was Faith.
I know she was scared I could see it in her eyes. I could just tell by her body language and the sound of her voice. I knew she was hurting. I'm not that thick that I can't tell when something is wrong with my partner...my best friend. And *that's* what hurt me. Not so much her words, but that she was hurting so bad that she said them. That's what tore me apart.
Some of what she said was true. I know that. Everybody knows that. I don't use my head all the time, and yeah I'd rather arrest somebody than have them out on the streets with the opportunity to strike again. But what she said did make sense. Especially with that Latrell guy, the medic, he basically saved my ass. If I hadn't arrested him, if he hadn't saved that kid, and that kid had died out there on the streets I would have been fed to an angry mob. Latrell could have let that happen, but he didn't. He helped me, and in return with Faith's words echoing in the back of my mind, I helped him. It's not always black and white. Right and wrong. I think I've always known that. And today a push in the right direction helped me remember that.
------
"I'm sick of you!"
------
No she's not. If she was sick of me she would have kicked my ass to the curb years ago. I know Faith Yokas. And I know she doesn't take stuff lying down. If she didn't want to be partnered with me she would have done something about it long before now. I'm sure she's wanted to say that more than a few times. Actually I'm pretty sure she has told me that a couple times over the years, but it's just part of who we are. Me and Faith. Bosco and Yokas. It goes with the territory...just like all the crap I've said to her. All the stuff about her not trying when she and Fred were having problems, and when I told her she was selfish for deciding to have the abortion. And even though I've said some awful stuff to her she always comes back to work with me.
-------
"I do everything for you!"
------
Faith's always there for me. Even before I realize I need her. It's amazing how she does that. It's like she can just tell when something is wrong. She always knows when I need her, and even when I freak on her about being a mother hen she never really backs down. So why would I back down when she needs me?
*****
I hear the voices from the TV now. The voices in my head have finally decided to take a break. I've been sitting here in the hospital waiting room staring at the TV for close to an hour. But it's time for me to go now. It's time for me to go be with Faith as she sits with her husband. Because whether she'll admit it or not she needs me, and I know she wants me to be there for her. Hell, I *want* to be there for her.
See, I'm thick when it counts. Thick skinned.
******
OK, so I know some people are sick and tired of post-"Lights Up" stories, but I wanted to take my turn at writing one :) We all have our opinions on how Bosco felt about what Faith said to him, and this is my attempt to get into Bosco's mind. I hope you like it!
******
Sometimes I just sit and watch TV, and sometimes I just sit and stare at the TV. I don't really watch it. I mean I see what's going on, but I don't hear any of the voices or anything because there are already too many voices running through my head. Today is one of those days.
--------
"How many damn people'd I bring in?!"
"I think you locked up half the precinct."
-------
This whole citywide blackout was insane. All the people out in the streets causing trouble. Shit, they were stealing stuff, setting cars on fire. I don't understand why people turn into such animals when the lights go out. I mean can't they just light a couple candles, stay at home and wait for the power to come back on? Why do they have to get all possessed and shit and run through the streets? Can anybody answer that for me? It's like the power goes out and instead of the electricity running through the power lines it starts coursing through people's veins.
Knowing that Faith was out there somewhere scared me. I know, she's a big girl, she's a cop. But I just had this feeling that something was wrong because she's *always* there ready to help when the shit hits the fan. *Always*.
I was just pulling up as she was carrying Fred out of the doctor's office. Damn I wish I had figured things out earlier. I don't know how bad off Fred is, but maybe if I'd found them earlier things would be better. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Waiting sucks. I'm impatient. I want to know how things are going to turn out right away. I don't want to sit around and wait for news. I hate waiting for news...especially when it's more than likely bad.
******
"No sense of discretion. You don't use your head."
"Immature...."
"Unreliable..."
"Useless..."
---------
Earlier today Faith really ripped into me. (Wait, was that today? I have no idea how many hours I worked, I *feel* like I worked a week straight.) Anyway, she tore me up one side and down the other. And I let her. It's what she needed. So I let her.
People think I'm kinda 'thick'. You know, kinda stubborn, kinda stupid. I'm thick. If it had been Sully or Doherty or some jag-off out on the streets that said those things to me I would have flipped. No doubt in my mind I would have beat their ass, but it was Faith.
I know she was scared I could see it in her eyes. I could just tell by her body language and the sound of her voice. I knew she was hurting. I'm not that thick that I can't tell when something is wrong with my partner...my best friend. And *that's* what hurt me. Not so much her words, but that she was hurting so bad that she said them. That's what tore me apart.
Some of what she said was true. I know that. Everybody knows that. I don't use my head all the time, and yeah I'd rather arrest somebody than have them out on the streets with the opportunity to strike again. But what she said did make sense. Especially with that Latrell guy, the medic, he basically saved my ass. If I hadn't arrested him, if he hadn't saved that kid, and that kid had died out there on the streets I would have been fed to an angry mob. Latrell could have let that happen, but he didn't. He helped me, and in return with Faith's words echoing in the back of my mind, I helped him. It's not always black and white. Right and wrong. I think I've always known that. And today a push in the right direction helped me remember that.
------
"I'm sick of you!"
------
No she's not. If she was sick of me she would have kicked my ass to the curb years ago. I know Faith Yokas. And I know she doesn't take stuff lying down. If she didn't want to be partnered with me she would have done something about it long before now. I'm sure she's wanted to say that more than a few times. Actually I'm pretty sure she has told me that a couple times over the years, but it's just part of who we are. Me and Faith. Bosco and Yokas. It goes with the territory...just like all the crap I've said to her. All the stuff about her not trying when she and Fred were having problems, and when I told her she was selfish for deciding to have the abortion. And even though I've said some awful stuff to her she always comes back to work with me.
-------
"I do everything for you!"
------
Faith's always there for me. Even before I realize I need her. It's amazing how she does that. It's like she can just tell when something is wrong. She always knows when I need her, and even when I freak on her about being a mother hen she never really backs down. So why would I back down when she needs me?
*****
I hear the voices from the TV now. The voices in my head have finally decided to take a break. I've been sitting here in the hospital waiting room staring at the TV for close to an hour. But it's time for me to go now. It's time for me to go be with Faith as she sits with her husband. Because whether she'll admit it or not she needs me, and I know she wants me to be there for her. Hell, I *want* to be there for her.
See, I'm thick when it counts. Thick skinned.