A/N: So I was listening to this song the other day and this idea popped into my head. I've been trying to ignore it, but it keeps coming back so I figured what the heck, here we go. My first pairing fic, too, although it's not much of one.

This is a ONE SHOT. There will be no sequel or more chapters, especially since I can't come up with a way to continue this except with smut and I'm not going to write that. There's plenty of it already. If you have any ideas, let me know and I'll consider it.

This is SLASH. That mean gay, man on man. Granted, we can't really be sure D's a man, but that's beside the point. If you don't like slash, please click your back button.

----------

Leon rapped on the door to the pet shop sharply, holding a box of pastries under one arm, a cigarette hanging from his lips. After a moment, he heard a latch being undone and D stood smiling in the doorway.

"Good afternoon, Detective, just in time for tea, as always," D said in his quiet voice, stepping to the side and gesturing with a sweeping motion for Leon to enter. Leon ground his cigarette on the pavement and stepped inside, bracing himself for the wall of incense he was about to step into but was surprised to smell something different, lighter and less oppressive. He offered D the sweets and dropped unceremoniously onto a small couch.

"You burning something new in here, D?" He propped his feet on the low coffee table.

D pushed Leon's feet from the table as he responded, "Why yes, Detective. I'm surprised you noticed. What do you think?"

Leon sniffed the air a few times. "It's alright, I guess. I'm not much of an incense sort of guy. It's easier to breathe then that other crap you usually burn."

"I'm glad you approve," D said with light sarcasm. His upset expression at Leon's harsh language was smoothed away as he walked to a small room off the main one where a pot sat on a low burner.

Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words

Leon looked around sharply. It was never good to hear things that weren't there, even worse if you happened to be in Count D's shop.

"Hey Count? Did you just hear something?" Leon asked cautiously.

D returned with a tray laden with sweets, cups, and the tea pot and asked, "I'm sorry, did you say something, Detective?"

Leon grunted and said, "No, nothing." He glanced around the room as if trying to spot a perp before he could run. He thought he heard a snicker from one corner, but soon dismissed the ill feelings he had. D offered him a cup of tea.

"You're rather jumpy today; are you feeling alright?" D asked, taking a cup for himself and sipping delicately. He sat opposite Leon and delicately crossed one leg over the other.

There you see him
Sitting there across the way

Leon stopped, the tea cup frozen in midair. He looked around again, but still saw nothing. No movement. That was strange on it's own, really. By now he should have been bitten by that goat-sheep thing. Chris hadn't come out yet either.

"No, everything's fine."

He don't got a lot to say
But there's something about him.
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the boy.

Leon slammed his tea cup onto the table and was on his feet in an instance, spinning this way and that, trying to find where that stupid voice was coming from. D stared at him, wide eyed like a young deer who'd heard her first gun shot. His tea cup hovered midair between the saucer and his lips.

"Detective? Are you sure you don't want me to add a few herbs to your tea? I know of a few that could help calm you."

Yes, you want him
Look at him, you know you do
It's possible he wants you, too
There is one way to ask him

"No," Leon said hastily, still standing. "You're not putting any of that yuppie crap in my drink."

D only shrugged daintily, gazing serenely at the detective.

How can he not hear it? Leon thought. It was like the voice was coming from the walls. D was still watching him carefully, now sipping his tea again. Leon made some excuse for his weird behavior; he couldn't remember just what he had said. He hoped it was believable. There was some kind of soft music playing with the words and it was getting into his head, distracting him. He took a deep breath and sat again, this time not taking the cup. Maybe D really had drugged it this time.

It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the boy

He clenched his hands and tried to ignore this crazy music. Kiss D? It's kidding right? Sure, he was kinda pretty for a guy, always wearing those dress things. And Leon could swear he wore make-up, even if he'd never seen the man apply it or fix it up, unlike the other women who always excused themselves to touch up. There was no lipstick on his cup either....

God, Leon! He berated himself mentally. Snap out of it!

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the boy

Damn right, I'm not, Leon thought. D looked to be off in his own world, smiling softly as he savored his tea, no longer observing Leon. His long, dark lashes brushed against his cheeks and framed his large eyes. Leon watched his finely painted lips press against the cup rim, long white fingers supporting it gingerly.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it shame, too bad

You gonna miss the boy

Leon cleared his throat and tried to chase these crazy thoughts from his mind. D was a guy, for fuck's sake. This music was messing with his head. He looked around again but still couldn't find the source. This was insane. He was not interested in D that way. Sure, the guy took great care of Chris and even himself sometimes, when he came back really busted up from the streets. And he cut a striking figure in the right light. And that look he sometimes got when petting one of his favorite pets...

Leon almost reached for his cup again when he realized something. That wasn't incense he was smelling in here. It was lighter, subtler. Perfume maybe? But who would be wearing perfume here?

Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
He don't say a word
And he won't say a word
Until you kiss the boy

As crazy as the music was, it had a point. D wasn't talking much. Even he didn't enjoy tea that much. Leon gave up trying to find where the music was and found himself just enjoying the moment, watching D sip tea. He'd never considered having any other feelings for D than just friendship. Maybe some kind of brotherly thing, what with him taking care of Chris and all. But he wasn't the mushy type and didn't dwell on feelings like those.

But...with this new incense, perfume, whatever...and the music was pretty relaxing...and D actually looked kind of nice in this lighting...

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the boy

Leon was good at making snap decisions usually. He just followed his gut and it always, well, almost always, lead him in the right direction. But it didn't seem to know what to do either. Suddenly he felt awkward, and D had on one of his weird little smirks again. Leon wondered about that rumor that the Count could read minds again, and then dismissed it. Nonsense.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the boy

Leon couldn't deny it anymore, no matter how much he argued with himself. He didn't know if it was the tea, the atmosphere, or the music, but he wanted to be nearer the man across from him. He tried to weigh the pros and con in his head through the fog that was steadily growing. Even if D didn't want it, Leon was sure the Chinese man would have little trouble just ignoring what had happened and get on with his life...and if he wanted it too? Well then there was just a whole new realm of possibilities.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
The song say kiss the boy

But I'm not gay, Leon thought, struggling now to focus on anything but the delicate curve of D's cheek, neck, the shape visible beneath the clingy fabric despite the high collar.

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the boy

Screw it, Leon decided finally. He stood again, a little shaky. D looked at him, openly concerned now, and put down his cup. He stood and approached Leon cautiously.

"Detective, are you sure you're feeling alright?" D's voice was sweet and soft, quivering a little with worry.

You've got to kiss the boy
Why don't you kiss the boy

Leon took a few hesitant steps forward and D began to make for the kitchen, saying something Leon didn't hear. Leon caught him by the arm halfway there. D looked at him, outraged at this sort of personal contact.

"Detective! What do you think-"

Leon cut him off by leaning down and pressing his lips firmly again the mouth of the shorter man. D stiffened immediately and tried to push Leon away, but the detective was stronger and gripped D's delicate wrists so he couldn't get away. Slowly, very slowly, D relaxed into the kiss and Leon felt a fire burning in his stomach. D began to struggle in Leon's grasp again and he released his hands, sliding his arms around the count's narrow waist instead.

You gotta kiss the boy
Go on and kiss the boy

Leon made the mistake of breaking the kiss to breathe and began to pull away. Looking at the man he had just, oh God, kissed, he was surprised to see a mischievous glint in the mismatched eyes. Before he had time to think about it, the tables were turned and he found himself pinned against the wall, felt the lips he had just been admiring pressed against his skin, warm breath on his neck.

Busy as they were, neither heard the chuckle that came from a back corner. T-chan snuck out of his hiding place and silently slipped through the back door, into the inner sections of the shop. He was greeted with a series of rapid fire questions from the other animals who waited for him there.

"Did it work?" They all asked.

"Of course," the totestu said and laughed. "My singing always does the trick."

-------

A/n: So that's that. T-chan is playing matchmaker and apperently has quite the singing voice. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Screwing with Leon's head is incredibly fun. ;)