It was 3 o' clock in the morning and Lucas was lying in his bed unable to get some sleep. The though of Peyton and Jake together in his house, lying to a bed next to each other, doing whatever they were doing, was making him sick and angry. He was frustrated. He closed his eyes trying to get the picture of them out of his head… He tried to think of something else. Something less painful. Something that would make him feel happy.
FLASHBACK
-Ok. So I called like a billion times and you didn't answer your phone. Whats wrong Lucas? Are you avoiding me or something?
-I was sleeping Peyton. When I woke up and saw your calls I was about to call you when my dad entered the room and told to clean the mess in my room… Sorry
-Its ok.
-Ok. So how are you doing baby? What would you like to do tonight?
-Well… Lets see. I would like to spend some time with my boyfriend since I hadn't seen him for two days and I ve missed him like hell.
-Oh. That's so sweet of you. And where is your boyfriend? Lucas said smiling.
Peyton smiled and decided to play along.
-I really don't know… That's why I came here, to see if you know where I can find him. Do you know where I can find him Lucas?
-Nope… Sorry. I don't know where he is right now. But I ve talked to him this morning and he told me to do this, if I see you before he does.
Lucas gave Peyton a passionate kiss.
-Mmmmm. My boyfriend knows what to do to make me feel happy. Peyton said
-Yeah… He is a nice guy after all. Lucas said.
-He sure is. Peyton said with a huge smile in her face.
END FLASHBACK
Lucas opened his eyes but closed them again.
FLASHBACK
Lucas, Peyton, Haley and Nathan were in Nathans car. They were going to see a band performing. They were really excited about that concert.
-Turn on the radio Nathan. Lucas said
Nathan turned on the radio.
-I love this song. Both Lucas and Peyton said at the same time.
-Ohhh… Look at them. Aren't they cute? Haley said
-I don't know that song… Nathan said
-Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance. Peyton and Lucas said again with one voise.
Lucas looked at Peyton. They were both smiling to each other. They knew that from now on, that was their song.
END FLASHBACK
Lucas opened his eyes again.
"Why I had to be such a jerk? Why I ve let her go? Why I didn't fight for her?"… Lucas though to himself…
He closed his eyes again.
FLASHBACK
-Lucas what the fuck are you doing? Peyton asked.
-Trying to forget? Lucas said.
-Is that cocaine?
Lucas didn't answer.
-Oh my God Lucas, what the hell are you thinking? I know you are really sad and angry and you are feeling lonely right now, but I am here for you to help. We are together on this.
-You cant Peyt.
-Yes I can.
-No Peyton. You cant. My dad is dead. He died in a freakin car accident. He is not coming back Peyt. You don't know how it feels. You cant even imagine. You have both your parents. You have never suffered pain defeat or loss. You don't even know what these words mean.
-I know, but…
-No buts… I want to be alone.
-I understand.
-No you don't. I cant be with you. I am a mess. I am not the right guy for you. Cant you see? Sorry. But I just cant.
Peyton was starting to cry.
-I love you Lucas.
Lucas again didn't say anything.
-Don't you love anymore?
Lucas looked at Peyton with pure sadness in his eyes.
-Go Peyton. Just leave me alone.
-Answer my question and then I will go.
-No… I don't love you. In fact I never did.
Peyton looked at him. He could the hurt in her eyes. The pain he had caused. Her eyes were full of pain and hurt. But with love too.
Lucas regretted immediately what he said. Of course he loved her. More than anything. He could her his heart. He was bound to love her. Until the end… and he had to let her know that. But Peyton was already gone.
END FLASHBACK
Now there were in tears in his eyes. He had Peyton. And he let her walk away… Actually he told her to walk away and leave him alone in his misery… He was a jerk. A big one. But now it was too late for forgiveness.
He woke up the next morning feeling really sick. Haley was standing in the chair next to him, reading a magazine.
-What are you doing here?
-I came here to see how you are doing. Yesterday you weren't so good.
-I m ok.
-Lucas come on… Please tell me whats going on. You don't have to do this.
-I miss her Haley. I miss everything about her.
-You ve let her go Lucas. Remember?
-Yeah, I do. I was stupid back then. I was sad and angry and I ve let go the one and only good thing in my life. And I ve lost her. She is with Jake. She is in love with him. They probably had sex yesterday too.
Suddenly Haleys sympathetic look turned to a frustrated one.
-Listen to me asshole. And listen to me good… Peyton loves you. She always loved you and she always will… Now if she is angry and disappointed with you? Of course she is. She probably thinks you are a selfish, stupid, arrogant guy. But she loves you. She does. I know her. I was there when she was crying. I was there for her the whole time through the breakup. And I was there the whole time after the break up.
-It has been a year Hales.
-So? You think that she stopped loving? You must be really stupid Lucas.
-Go after her. Lucas, all my life I admired you cause you always had the guts to say you opinion, protect your friends when they needed you. Since when you had become such a pussy?
Lucas thought for a second. And he finally spoke.
-You are right.
-What?
-I ll talk to her. Tell her how I feel. Tell her how much I love her. I never had the chance. Now I ll say it so loud so that everyone will hear it. I ll get her back Haley
Haley laughed.
-That's my boy. She said.
NOTE: the songs that were mentioned in the previous chapter, exist. And in fact are pretty good. You should check them out. Tell me what you think about this new chapter. R&R… ByezzzzJ