Right, right, right... so, I probably should have posted this some time ago. This is a companion fic (that will be much more FF safe) to 'Traitor', tied in because I had it on the brain (talking to the writer does cause that to happen, I guess) and I really, really wanted to create a crack pairing. So! Majora and Kafei for the win :D Let's have fun with the pilot, then~. Blatant parallels, lunacy, and happy mask spirits ahead. Happy trails!

Reviews encourage the insanity. (Rudeness encourages me to block you, though.)

"Canary or mockingbird,"

Chapter 1: Masks and Muses

It was probably their own fault he was this way.

Yes… that sounded about right. He wouldn't let the blame drift away again. He would blame himself alongside everyone else. It was his fault, and their fault, that this had all gone so wrong and gone so far. But, who was to say a villain couldn't have come along and done it anyway…? Whether or not that was the truth, this villain was the burden on his conscious. He couldn't hate what he'd very well helped to create.

He remembered the skullkid, who had been chased from the daily life of Clocktown… it had been because of them, he supposed, that little skullkid fell prey to the saccharine deceptions of the mask. Instead of teaching him right from wrong they had turned him out, believing it to be someone else's duty to perform… skullkids had no one but the forest. What could trees teach of man, or of anything at all? Even if they saw everything they could speak of nothing, and make no gesture but to sway in the wind. They had no hands to grasp, guide or teach, to paint a depiction of what should have been or to write down the verses of what should be. In the end it fell to men, and they had failed. Everyone had failed. And so the sweetly serpentine mask could bury the cyanide truth of the world under its own deranged lies, and corrupt the heart of a young one to evil from misguided desire and the appearance of mischief. The mask had played the game neatly.

Skullkid had been hurt. And… he had just been lonely. It was their own fault he had turned to the mask. They should have been kinder, to young hearts and outsiders and everyone. They lived in a small world, they only had each other. It wasn't right to let someone hurt like that. And yet they had, ignorant and unrepentant. And they had paid a price.

A hundred nights condensed to three, a heartbroken cycle of a dying world… He remembered living those times over and over, not understanding why he followed the same script when he already knew the ending to a play he didn't like. Sometimes fate's aberration had broken through the dullness to accompany him, and he found something wondering in the eyes of a boy who looked so young. He seemed a little broken, too old for the body he lived inside. Kafei could relate. And in the end they had broken – in their hearts and from the too-tired script, but the thing about devils is they don't like to die, and this one certainly wouldn't die alone.

So Kafei had leapt into the portal of hell. Well, that wasn't quite right – he'd been given the choice between the devil and the deep blue sea, and he knew he couldn't swim well. Instead he'd let the coiling black chains steal him away.

He wasn't upset about it. He had been, but… this was very likely their fault, too. And given the choice to die alongside everyone he loved or give up just his existence to preserve theirs, he didn't think about it. He simply knew. And he didn't hate the one who'd made him chose, because he was determined to be better. The mask was childish, just like the skullkid. It had to be taught instead of buried away.

The chains gave a pleasant clink, breaking him from his musings. He pulled his hands down so they were level with his face, rubbing the skin of his wrists gently. A small, satisfied smile quirked his lips. That was the other thing – for an ancient evil, Majora was very prone to lapses in better judgment. The kind that made one wonder how he'd survived as long as he had, but Kafei supposed that was a benefit of immortality. And murdering everyone before you had a chance to mess up.

The door banged open – the entity always had to make an entrance that was memorable, but that backfired because after a while doors slamming open started to bleed together, and Kafei didn't jump at the noise anymore.

"Ahahaha!" The masked monster himself swept in, with what must've been a grin sharp enough to slice stone under his guise and a voice filled with dark delight, "Kafei! We're going to play a game today! I'll be the monster and you'll be the prey-!" He started to cackle then paused, taking in his prisoner's full appearance. Kafei blinked at him and straightened up a little, but didn't look particularly terrified. He didn't even really look nervous. His hands stayed where they were, just in front of his collarbone.

"- Ah, damn it, how do you keep getting out of those?" Majora complained, stomping over, the mood thoroughly ruined. The exasperated irritation was tangible as he examined the shackles connected to the dungeon wall. Kafei blinked.

"Perhaps I wouldn't escape so easily had you remembered to lock them," He corrected, and Majora squawked.

"I locked them! I definitely, definitely locked them, you filthy liar! Cheat!" Kafei shrugged, not really bothered, as this was the hundredth or so time Majora had accused him of being any and all of these things. Every time he lost a game the childish spirit had a fifty-fifty chance of devolving to this.

"You were saying something about a game?" Kafei cut in, also not really interested in listening to the same song for the hundredth time. Mockingbirds never sung the same one twice in an hour, so why did Majora?

"Game?!" Majora bounced back on his heels and the sharp, happy note had returned to his tone. The eerie eyes of the mask focused on Kafei. "Yes! Play. Let's play a game."

"What are the rules?" Even Kafei knew better than to sing the same song since the three nights one hundred times over…

Majora's grin was practically palpable. "Just don't get caught." He intoned in a voice of dark promises.

"… and will you let me go?"

"If I let you go I won't ever catch you." Majora replied, as though Kafei were the fool. He seemed more lucid than usual... Kafei wondered how long it would last.

"That's not true… And anyway, wouldn't it make for a much better game if I could run?"

The clarity drained, the posture changed, and he knew behind the mask Majora was leering at him again. "You're right. Let's play." With that he banished the shackles from Kafei's ankles.

Kafei ducked his lunging hands and ran.

... Shoumen dare...?

Hallways stretched on into infinite darkness, the endless echo of time as it fell was swallowing him up… his footsteps rung out against the shadows like a siren, a heartbeat or a broken song. He could hear the cackles of the monster, and feel his hot breath on the back of his neck when Kafei slowed or he lunged and grew near, before a burst of speed would return the gap between them. Kafei ran into the shadows, because if he didn't he would lose, and Majora liked winning, but Kafei did too. Shame on his cold heart if he lost without giving it everything. Even if losing meant less pain, if nothing else… he still had something like pride, didn't he? Even a man who'd sold his soul shouldn't have to hang his head.

Whiteness flashed into the void ahead of him, and as his eyes adjusted again it became a blue-silver glimmer, a pathway in the dark. Majora laughed and snatched at his hair. Kafei pushed his legs harder, grimacing at the burn in the muscles. It would still be some time before the runner's high…

A white figure emerged from the blue-silver glimmer, with star-sear eyes that burned apart the shadows. Kafei swerved around him and slid, and stopped to watch in curiosity when Majora's footsteps halted too.

The monster hissed and snarled, for the white figure had raised a hand…

Kafei blinked in astonishment; there was once a great warrior so strong they called him a god… And there had been a mask carved in his likeness, one which fate's aberration had found before another End of the World. If pictures in old books, fallen into the hands of the man behind the counter in the shop of curiosities were to be believed, this was that man.

And he was staring down the hissing and spitting Majora with one hand raised to gesture 'halt'.

"… what is this?" The rumbling tone only seemed to incense the Spiteful One further. Kafei sized up the deity, and realized he really wouldn't stand much chance if the warrior decided to crush him like a grape.

"Mine, Oni, and don't you touch it!" Majora shrieked, trying to lunge around the deity to reach Kafei. Each time he was blocked. "Mine mine mine! Damn you!" 'Oni' didn't seem much bothered; like Kafei, he was accosted in this manner a fairly large portion of the time.

"And what is it doing here?" He asked, deep voice still rumbling but not really patient.

"Running from me, of course, now go away!"

"… I'm taking it."

"What! No! You always take my toys!" Majora lunged for the deity, who sidestepped and gave a pointed look at the back of Majora's head that may or may not have translated to 'are you an idiot' as he went crashing by, but Kafei really couldn't definitively say, as he didn't like to put words into other people's mouths. He turned back to Kafei, eerie moonbeam eyes agleam.

"Follow." He ordered Kafei as gently (that is to say, not at all) as he had when speaking to Majora, and Kafei, with a final curious glance back to the other, shuddering entity – collapsed in a pile of his own limbs, dizzy and disoriented – he followed the Fierce Deity through the silver-blue rip in darkness.

The singing birds they never sung the evening rain was never done, drip drop, drip drop...

"How did you get here, human?"

Kafei took a second to glance around the space – broad stone steps at the base of something like a hall or a temple, that overlooked an endless sea of sand and a blue sky that melted away to nothing…

"I was brought by the spirit of the mask." He answered clearly when he turned back.

"… why?" The light spirit demanded, sounding baffled. Kafei noted that he didn't have his blade, but it was doubtful that would give the other any inconvenience if he decided that Kafei was simply a nuisance to be dealt with.

"I'm terribly sorry," He began, "but I honestly cannot say. If I could understand why the spirit does anything, I very likely wouldn't be here at all." Was what he put forward instead, gentle in voice. The deity shifted, narrowing eyes that glowed like moon's tears at him.

"I suppose not." He rumbled, giving Kafei a once over. "Did he make you sign a contract?" He wondered, and Kafei supposed – not for the first time – that he hadn't been the first human Majora had locked away.

"In my own blood."

The white eyes widened and narrowed again, and the warrior god cocked his head to the side. "Then there is nothing I can do." He said, almost faint, "But return you to that lunatic." He turned away, back towards the temple doors which glowed faint silver-blue. Kafei gave a dry and even-fainter smile, unseen as he stood at the god's back.

"I think I would like that." He said slowly, and the Fierce Deity set him a bemused look over one shoulder while he pulled the doors open. Kafei bit down another smile.

Devil I know.

Lullabye, and goodnight, sweet dreams tonight...~ Lullabye, and goodnight, may your dreams be bright...

He stretched out, extending his fingers towards the ceiling. The fake stars stayed twinkling out of reach, the fake moon kept orbiting the absent sun. Majora had taken the sun…

Kafei sighed, rolling over onto his belly. If Majora had had humans as pets before him, he must've forgotten to make them sign on the dotted line; there was no way, with how he treated Kafei, that he'd dealt with any 'pet' for an extended period.

Red eyes slid shut while he wondered why the sheets were also red, in a room decked out with stars and midnight skies.

The door slammed open – of course, he didn't look up – and he heard the spirit stomp inside. Majora threw himself onto the bed and almost sent Kafei flying, but still the young man refused to look. After a few moments Majora realized he wouldn't be acknowledged this way and let out a sharp stream of gibberish grumbles, before gritting out, "Kafei."

Honestly, he was surprised the spirit knew his name at all. Though all the fondling of their contract in moments of idleness was probably the cause of that… Kafei stretched and pushed himself up on his elbows, opening his eyes as though from a deep sleep. "Yes?" He asked, looking up at the spirit with a steely gaze that dared him to argue.

Clawed fingers slashed by his face half a heartbeat later, before the same hand curved around his cheek in a caress. Majora's thumb swiped softly over the skin where red lines were welling up, so the blood smeared… "The Oni is the bad guy. Stay away from him or you'll get tagged~" Majora giggled and canted his head, letting the eerie, unblinking eyes watch Kafei from an angle. Over a month of exposure to these antics left Kafei unimpressed.

"I came back very much alive. Perhaps it slipped his mind." He muttered and pushed away from Majora. The entity merely cocked its head, eyes focused on the warm red blood on its claws.

Kafei pressed a hand to his cheek and glared at his keeper. "And that wasn't necessary." He growled low in his throat, and the unblinking eyes switched to him. Majora was silent a moment before he leaned closer to continue his leering.

"You know, you're rather mouthy for my prisoner." He hissed, clear and strong. Kafei reflected that the tone only appeared when he was clear of thought.

"I signed away my life." He stated, eyeing the mask like an ill-behaved child, "That doesn't mean I'm going to listen to you." And perhaps that was what had gotten him here in the first place. Such a dangerous notion to keep, that.

Majora laughed, stretching across the space of bed between them so his mask could touch Kafei's nose. "Your eyes are pretty. Just as nice as the blood staining my fingers."

"… thank you." Kafei returned, tone dry as desert sand. It really wasn't worth rising to the bait… Whatever bait Majora thought he was dangling, anyway. He couldn't rouse disgust over something as small as that. And as for anger… well, Kafei was about tapped out of that… so he was left there, staring into the glowing eyes of the mask without hesitation or unease. There wasn't much else he could do, outside existing.

Though perhaps it seemed he wasn't even very keen on that… he was, really he was. It was just that his biggest goal necessitated keeping the immortal interested. If that meant walking a razor's edge every once and a while between amusing defiance and threat which leads to death, he could do that. In the end the goal was more important.

Anyway, Majora was a child most of the time; so very easy to divert. It was times like this right now when Kafei really should've been scared…

The half-dried blood on Majora's fingers stuck against his skin, while the god brushed the arch of his cheek. "So pretty. So, so pretty… I want to see this face stained with tears of hatred and sorrow…" He chuckled, pressing forward. His claws dug in a little against his jaw, "Why won't you cry for me?"

"Because you only ever ask me to sing for you." Kafei muttered, shaking his head as though it would vanish the madman before him when he stopped. It didn't.

"Then how about you scream for me?"

"I don't think you've done anything to scream about yet." Though he didn't mean them as a challenge - or at least he hoped he didn't, the mind was strange, especially his – that was what spilled from his lips, words of bright red despair.

Majora laughed, and in that heartbeat he went from beside Kafei to on top of him, pushing him down and holding his wrists, leaning in so that his mask again brushed against a tan nose. "Not yet?" He rumbled, claws brushing slow soft lines against the flesh of Kafei's arm. One thumb kept sliding over the swell of his wrist where the veins lie…

"Covered in red blood and screaming my name at the top of your lungs, I bet you'd be very pretty." He could hear Majora's grin. "I think I would like to hear that… you screaming over and over, until your lungs collapsed."

"I don't think lungs work that way." Kafei replied tightly, glaring up at the demon. "Get off of me."

"Just because you signed away your life to me doesn't mean I'm going to listen to you." Majora mimicked, cheerful and childish. He leaned back, fingers still moving gently over Kafei's skin. "How quickly do you humans bleed out, anyway?"

"You would know better than I." Kafei spat, narrowing his eyes. He was losing his temper… Majora really would have to remove himself soon, or risk both of their better health.

"All I remember is a lot of red and thinking 'too quick'…" Majora snickered, leaning back in to nuzzle Kafei, who turned his head away, "So I think it must be very quick. I wouldn't want to lose you like that… No. I think I want to watch the life slowly drain from your eyes."

"Oh, you're planning on killing me now?" Kafei asked dryly, still watching the wall off to his side.

"Hehehe… you'll kill yourself."

Somehow I doubt it. He kept his mouth shut. The hand not stained in Kafei's blood brushed over his temple, and began to pet his bangs.

"Pretty…" Majora muttered in a tone soft and half-far off again. "I don't know; do I want to kill it and pin it to a board or let it stay… maybe I should burn it…" he leaned in, so his masked face was next to Kafei's head. To safeguard his eyes from the oh-so-charming spikes Kafei turned away, an action which had the unfortunate side-effect of putting his ear right by where Majora's lips should have been were it not for that same, damnable mask. "What do you think?" Majora hissed, cheerful and pleasant. "Do you want to be ripped apart?"

"Not particularly." Kafei murmured while he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. There was a very real part that would strike the deity who still resided overtop him, if it had its way. Kafei couldn't let that happen. It wouldn't do any good at all to upset him… He needed to speak calmly… "When did you come in here?" He asked instead, and Majora went stiff.

"… you shouldn't play with the Oni, he'll tag you…" Majora mumbled, sounding confused. He moved so he was staring directly at Kafei's face, head cocked at an obviously-uncomfortable angle on the bed. Kafei stared in disbelief. "You are mine! Don't go near the Oni, don't don't don't!" The entity demanded, eyes glowing fervently.

A few moments later – all spent staring - Kafei readjusted his head so he faced the ceiling, and as he'd hoped Majora lifted his head from that terribly painful looking angle to follow him. He wondered how long he'd be stuck pinned to the bed. Majora was getting rather heavy… he grimaced and shifted his hips, trying to get comfortable. The entity chirped at him, apparently upset because Kafei's slight shifting had caused Majora's own seat – Kafei's abused stomach – to move. "You're going to play with me." Majora told him, canting his head. A little bit of threat leaked into his voice. "You're going to play with me, no matter what you want…"

"That's lovely. Whatever you're planning on playing, will it involve getting off of me?"

Slowly, Majora canted his head, and said in a deeper, thoughtful tone, almost sounding like a young man, "I can get you off."

"That's not what I said." Kafei grumbled, trying to bite down the urge to headbutt Majora now.

Don't lose your HEAD~!

"What do the insides of a human look like?"

"I don't know, I've never seen them."

"What? But humans are inside their mothers for nine months. You must've seen something!"

The silver stars were still gleaming on the ceiling above them. Majora was stretched out across the bed on his belly, regarding Kafei with what was most probably curiosity. Kafei wished he had his Keaton mask, so that he could be as faceless as Majora. Of course, he'd grown used to it by now, but he still didn't like it; an expressionless expanse staring back at him, just soulless unblinking eyes in a truly heart shaped face, without even an imitation of a mouth.

"We can't remember things that far back."

"… that's stupid." Majora muttered, and something certainly was stupid, Kafei just wasn't sure it was the notion. "Why did you come with me?"

… what? For a moment his mind drew a blank, and he just stared at Majora. "… why did I come with you?" He repeated numbly. The masked face bobbed up and down once. "I didn't have a choice." He said slowly, less for the spirit's benefit and more because he was so very bewildered that anyone would ever need ask that…

"Yes you did. I said everyone would die, or you would die alone. That is a choice."

"I couldn't consider it, so it wasn't a choice. That's how choices work." He explained to Majora, just a little bit blunt.

"… I don't understand." Majora muttered, sounding vexed.

"What you saw was two options. What I saw was either me disappearing, alone, or the love of my life and everyone I've ever known, friends and enemies, everyone, dying." Kafei kept trying. There wasn't much else to do, he kept thinking that; but was it really the truth…?

"… oh." Majora muttered, and Kafei wondered if he'd finally gotten it. "I see. I took them away from you." Okay, so maybe not quite what he'd intended… "So then you hate me, yes?" Or at all.

… Honestly, he wished he could follow how Majora's mind worked. "No." He answered as calm as he could manage, and shut his eyes. I really should.

"What?! Why not?! Hate me!" Majora demanded, leaping across the bed and all but landing on Kafei.

Not again…

Once there he grabbed him by his upper arms and continued shouting, while Kafei stared wide-eyed. "Say it! Say you hate me! NOW!"

"I'm not doing that." He muttered while quirking one brow. "I already said I don't hate you."

"But you should! Now do!"

"You're not going to change my mind that way." Kafei stated, eyeing Majora like he was a lunatic. A complete and utter madman…

Majora froze right where he was, and ever so slowly he canted his head. "… no?" He asked, and the shrill tone quieted and dropped in pitch again… "No, I suppose not. You humans get stubborn, don't you?" This was a strange voice, he decided. Strange was bad; beyond that it was lucid, he didn't know what it meant.

So Kafei didn't answer, giving a little wearier of a stare to the monster above him. The heart-mask inched closer to his face as Majora lowered himself, and the too-wide eyes seemed to be leering. "… how about I try something else, hm? Something that makes every human hate…"

"You won't." Kafei returned softly, even as a hand swept down over his throat to linger at his neckline. A terrible and stormy sound, like rolling grumbling thunderheads, emerged from the monster as a chuckle.

"I'm Spite. Try me." He stated almost absently, before peeling away from Kafei and leaping to his feet. "Other things to do, my pet~! Please remember to stay here!" And he was gone in a whirl of laughter and darkness. Kafei shook his head and sighed, fingers threading through his bangs.

"I probably should've just slit his throat in the town square." He told the ceiling, "Things would've been easier that way." The ceiling remained dull and dumb, clearly not giving a damn.

End chapter, I guess?