[[A/N]: This is set during Season One's sixth episode, 'The Pack.' The first chapter is Buffy's POV during her fight with Xander after finding Herbert's destroyed cage. The second chapter is an in-between that I wrote that occurs after 'the pack' gets unpossessed but before school the next day. The fight scene is pretty much straight out of the episode, but I wrote in a close to the fight and transfer over to the library scene. Most of the words in italics came from the show's script (Kiene and Reinkemeyer, Whedon), so I don't own them. ]
Buffy was the Slayer. She was stronger than any man on the planet, and so far she had bested every demon she'd come up against. But here she was pinned, by none other than Xander Harris. It wasn't that he was stronger than her. He was strong, no doubt. But she could have thrown him off if she gave it her all. Two things stopped her. This was Xander, one of her best friends. A guy she had trusted with her deepest secrets, a guy she had come to rely on to get her through the hell she lived. She just couldn't quite bring herself to hurt him, possession or no. And then there was the fear.
She hadn't been powerless in a long time. Since that day that Merrick had come to her on the steps of Hemery High and told her about her destiny, she'd known that no person, no human, would ever pose a threat to her again, at least not physically. It had been reassuring to know she would never become a statistic. It had happened to one of her friends a few months before. She'd been beaten and raped, left for dead. She'd barely made it, according to the doctors. Buffy had gone to see her in the hospital a few weeks before meeting Merrick. She had looked into Kristen's eyes and seen true fear. In all her months of demon slaying, she'd not seen that same look.
Maybe it was because when you were eye to eye with a vampire, you knew you were about to die, end of story. There was going to be pain, and then there was going to be nothing. But for Kristen, the act had just been the beginning; there was still plenty of pain to be had.
As Buffy lay, pinned beneath Xander, her mind stopped functioning. She couldn't think. Instead of plotting the best ways to remove the danger, all her mind could process was the mind-numbing, all encompassing fear. Xander was going to try and take what he wanted, and she couldn't remember how to stop him. She tried to move, to escape from under him. If she could just get off her back, then maybe she could still get away. She couldn't keep the slight crack in her voice as she asked, begged him to get off.
She felt his hot breath on her cheek; his words came to her as if from far away. The words he said were so unlike him, they made the fear so much worse. Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't you? You like your men dangerous? She knew he was talking about Angel, but Angel had never frightened her, not like this. Thoughts of Angel cleared her head momentarily, allowing her to push some of the fear away. Dangerous and mean, like Angel, your mystery guy. Well, guess who just got mean. He hovered above her, making it difficult for her to breath. His weight pressed on her chest. Do you know how long I've waited, for you to stop pretending we're not attracted to each other? He punctuated these words by running his hand down her face. From Angel, that touch would have been welcome, from anyone else, it pissed her off.
The newly fueled anger pushed the fear back long enough for her to throw him off. She pushed him aside and stood with Slayer speed. Now that the fear had subsided slightly, she wasn't about to let herself fall into such a vulnerable position again.
But he was up almost as fast, continuing with his pitch, Until Willow stops kidding herself, that I could settle with anyone but you. As he spoke he moved forward, herding her toward the wall. His voice was calm, full of hunger, his actions strong and pointed. She could barely catch a breath, the fear once again coursing through her veins. She backed up, slowly allowing herself to be cornered. She could think of no way to escape him without injuring him. Her head, no longer clouded by the fear, was warring against itself. The fear was still present, slowing her actions, but now it was combined with the Slayer's need to fight and her own desire to get out of this situation without killing Xander.
Again, she tried reason, Look Xander, I don't want to hurt you. The words were barely out of her mouth when his hands were on her. He drove her backward, hard. Her back collided with the soda machine, her head snapping with a low thud. She was momentarily stunned by both the action and the pain. This was Xander, he was her friend, he was supposed to love her. But the pain radiating through her skull and shoulders screamed otherwise.
He held her against the cold machine, his hands gripping her biceps. Now do you want to hurt me? He pressed closer and she struggled to free her arms. Her movements only caused him to tighten his hold on her arms. She winced with the pressure. The fear spread through her system once again. It was worse this time because she knew he could taste it. Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared. She wiggled, trying to gain the upper hand. His face came closer, mirroring her movements. The more I scare you, the better you smell.
Hearing that sent Buffy's system into overdrive, this was no longer a conversation between friends. This was a game between cat and mouse, and Buffy was not used to being the mouse. He'd been toying with her, allowing her to believe that they were evenly matched, secretly knowing he had the upper hand. He could take her at any moment, and that thought thrilled him, even as it sickened her. She swallowed, hoping to remove some of the fear, hoping to kick the Slayer in her into action. But her movement aroused him and he moved in.
His lips collided with her neck, tasting her, smelling her. It was more intimate than Buffy ever wanted to be with Xander, especially under the current circumstances. She cringed away from him, but he was attached to her, not allowing her any room to escape. She could feel him pressed against her, his body touching every inch of her own, holding her tight to the wall at her back. The pressure on her upper arms increased and a small whimper escaped her.
The sound caused Xander to pull away, and for a moment Buffy thought she had reached her friend. But as she caught sight of his face, she saw the smile spread further. It wasn't Xander's smile, it was a predator's smile, the smile of a hunter that was enjoying its prey's pain. He moved in close again, ran his tongue along her cheekbone to her ear, I liked that, he removed his left hand from her arm and moved it to her chest, squeezing her breast. She was too scared by his progression to notice her suddenly freed arm. He moved his face to her other ear, Do it again.
Thinking that the force of his body and her own fear would keep her trapped against the wall, Xander removed his other hand and ran it slowly up her thigh. His mouth came down on hers and she couldn't think for the pressure he was exerting, both on her lips and against her chest. But the movement of his hand further up her thigh and closer to where Xander's hands would never belong quelled the fear in her. His hand on her thigh pushed the frightened girl down and allowed the Slayer to come raging through.
There was no longer room in her brain for the panic she'd been experiencing and the reluctance to hurt Xander snapped as he squeezed her again. She brought her knee up, hard. The contact with her own intimate areas was removed as pain radiated through Xander's more private parts. He moved back several paces, a low growl emanating from his throat. Buffy didn't allow him a chance to recover. She stepped forward, landed a punch across his face. He responded with a backhand, which sent her spinning into the rows of desks. She was slightly disoriented, stars blooming in her eyes. She grabbed one of the desks to keep upright. But he was not about to give her time to recover. He crouched, building strength for a pounce. She recognized his intentions and hurled the desk through the air.
The two collided mid-air, and went down in a heap. Buffy took a second to catch her breath and reassert her equilibrium. As the Slayer she had faced vampires and demons, she'd nearly been killed by a witch and she'd battled a giant praying mantis. Those things had not scared her. But Xander Harris had. She stood over him, looking down. How was it possible that someone could literally look death in the face on a nightly basis without blinking, but could freeze up as she had? Her breathing slowly returned to normal.
She was afraid what would happen if Xander woke up and tried to touch her again. She couldn't tell which was scarier, the thought that he might succeed or that she might kill him to stop it. She wasn't about to find out. She allowed herself one more moment to gather her control and then she began dragging Xander toward the library.
As she opened the doors, Willow popped up from behind the computer. Hurry up, we've gotta get him locked up before he comes to. Buffy hoped Willow would just help, and not ask what had happened. But of course, luck wasn't on her side.
Oh my God, Xander, what happened?
I hit him, Buffy's answer was short and sweet. She wanted to save Willow the details.
Willow looked down at the form of her unconscious best friend, With what?
A desk, came Buffy's honest and straightforward reply. She moved him into the cage. One glance at Willow revealed that Buffy would have to provide a little more of a reason. He tried his hand at felony sexual assault, Buffy tried to keep her voice level and calm. She didn't want Willow to see just how shaken up she was over what had almost happened between her and Xander.
Willow responded with a lame excuse, and Buffy placated her with a joke. Buffy would not allow Willow to see how hurt and scared she had been just minutes before. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to look at Xander the same way again, she didn't want to ruin his relationship with Willow as well. As the cage clicked shut, she allowed herself to breath a sigh of relief. For now she was fine, and she wouldn't have to worry about facing Xander again for some time. Hopefully next time she looked in those chocolate eyes, he would be himself.