Light From A Dead Star

by Thyme In Her Eyes

Author's Note: Felt like something bittersweet about the Cloud/Aeris/Zack triangle today. Even though I still prefer to look the other way as far as the Compilation is concerned, after rereading Maiden Who Travels the Planet I felt inspired to write this and explore Zack's reaction to an Aeris who has moved on from her love for him (although it's not directly lifted from any scene in Maiden). Enjoy, and please leave an author some feedback.

-- LIGHT FROM A DEAD STAR --

This doesn't have to be such a tragedy
Everything will work out someday...

-- Lush (Ex).

x-x-x

Aeris was here, but too soon. So soon that it stung. Considering his lifestyle, he could understand dying young; it was a fair trade and it wasn't as if he regretted any of his choices. But Aeris was different, deserved better, and feeling her spirit join them so soon was wrong. It was never supposed to be like that, and even he couldn't think of a reason to smile knowing that she was here long before her time.

She was different from how he remembered her, but timeless. Zack wasn't really the type to sit and and moan about chances lost, but it was easy to dwell on what might have been when it came to her. Aeris' soul was brilliant as it radiated all around him and the others, never completely dissolving into the swell. She'd grown up since they'd last met and feeling all that had happened in five years ebb from her and into everyone was dizzying. But everything about her always had that effect on him. She was the type who could ruffle him even when he was supposed to be at peace, and make him wish he had arms to hold her, eyes to wink suggestively at her, fingers to tickle her and make her laugh, and a mouth to kiss that laugh as it bubbled out of the lips he remembered so well. He wished he could have something to charm and impress her with, to let her know he still cared. As he sensed her travelling, searching and praying, Zack wished he could move with her and hold her hand.

She was unhappy to feel that, to feel him with her for the same reason. Maybe she'd been in denial about him dying, maybe she hadn't wanted to believe he'd returned to the Planet. Maybe she really believed he'd ran out on her. But she was never the type to stay sad for long, and he could see more plainly how she'd changed. The seventeen-year-old girl he remembered wasn't there any more and he wished he could've known and romanced the woman who'd taken her place while she was still alive. He felt left behind, absorbing that knowledge. For the first time, he felt like her ex.

There was something else there too. She was sadder to be leaving someone else than she was happy to see him again. She looked up to life, and to Cloud. She was restful and serene here, but couldn't help reaching back to the chocobo-headed twerp Zack loved like a brother and still wished he could look out for. He felt her smiles and tears now rather than saw them, and they were mostly for someone else. It hurt, but maybe that was just pride swelling so much inside him that it stretched him out too much. Maybe it was a kind-of happiness so intense that it had to make you ache, the way a light too intense stung the eyes. Figuratively speaking, he could grin and bear it.

It had been five years. He never called and never wrote, so you can forgive a girl for getting the wrong impression. It was only natural that she'd move on, especially considering how tough she was under that gentle surface. He could tell that Aeris still had one hell of a soft spot for him, and that could be enough. It would have to be. The Lifestream wasn't really a place for new beginnings and second chances, not exactly, but one of serenity, acceptance, and understanding. She'd changed over the years, and didn't need a guy like him any more, but he'd gone through some fairly impressive changes too, so maybe it couldn't have ever worked out after all.

Aeris had picked herself up, moved on, gotten over him, and fallen for someone else and Zack couldn't wish the old times back again. Didn't want to either – she sparkled and glowed more than she had before, and he didn't want to rewind that development. It was tough to watch, but he couldn't have been happier. She'd had faith in the future, had the power to get up and keep going, and not let the past keep her from having a good time. He'd admired that in her before he'd loved her, and he'd always reckoned that if he ever fell out of love with her, he'd admire her for that all the same. She'd changed in so many ways, but what was sweetest and sexiest about her remained the same, and he'd never been prouder of her.

It would have saddened him if she couldn't have been strong enough to move on with life and leave him where he belonged. His soul smiled, and he knew she could feel it, and his thoughts.

'Atta girl...

-- FIN --