This is a story written by me and CrimsonFox4. In other words, both of us had an equal share in this so give CrimsonFox4 some credit also.
Disclaimer: We do not own Storm Hawks, we only own our brains and the story idea.
Counting Chaos on the Condor
Written by:
Unleash The Shadow
and
Crimson Fox4
"I'm telling you Junko, the Finn is a great mathematician!"
"I don't know Finn..." Junko said warily as his best friend dragged him to the table that was in the middle of the bridge on the Condor. "Are you sure you can teach me how to count? I thought you couldn't even figure out how many fuel crystals you have to put in your skimmer."
"You mess up one time, and it just so happens to make your skimmer go boom and NO one lets you forget it!" Finn exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. "Anyways, lets just try and start, shall we?"
Junko nodded hesitantly at his friend's question.
Continuing with an air of authority about him that wasn't very natural or becoming of him Finn said, "Now to start with, what is the number we usually start with when we are counting by numbers?"
"One?" The wallop replied hopefully.
"Good, and after that?"
"Umm..." The wallop began, put a finger to his lips; obviously lost in thought. "F-five?"
Looking thoughtful himself the blonde replied, "No I don't think so. It's seven that comes after one, right?"
Unbeknownst to the two friends, another person had joined them on the bridge, and his green skin went cold when he heard the next bit of conversation between the scrawny human and the young wallop.
"How am I supposed to know Finn? You're the one who is supposed to be helping me learn how to count, remember?"
Laughing nervously the sharpshooter said, "Ya, I remember..."
With his eye twitching the merb screamed in desperation, "You idiots can't count? You'll doom us all! The Condor will go up in flames, Mind Worms will get attracted to your brains and you'll infect all of us! Then you will make us all stupid and put us to death! Is that what you want to do??" Stork then started running around the bridge, screaming.
"What's his problem?" Finn asked. Junko just shrugged in return.
"So... how long will it be before they are ready?" Aerrow asked while Piper examined his blue strikers which he had using for a while now.
"About a day," She replied not turning to look at him.
Both of them jumped as they heard Stork's unmistakable shriek. They stopped everything and ran to the bridge. There, Finn and Junko sat looking at a very nervous Stork which was running around the bridge.
"What's wrong?" Aerrow shouted over the chaos.
"They cannot count until ten! Doom, why have you forsaken me?" Stork shouted while running aimlessly around the bridge which did not help the matter.
"Who cannot?" Piper asked raising an eyebrow.
"Them," Stork stopped and motioned towards Finn and Junko who had been watching this event unfold.
Realizing that everyone's attention was on them, the Wallop smiled shyly and said "Um, hi?"
"What's up?" Finn said as he leaned back in his chair.
Looking from Finn and Junko to the frenzied carrier pilot running around the bridge and then back to the two friends, Piper asked, "What did you two do now?"
"Why do you always just assume that it's my fault?" Finn asked innocently enough.
"How about because it almost always is?" Piper replied without missing a beat.
Looking between his wingman and his navigator, Aerrow couldn't help but smile. He knew what was coming next; a fight between the two that would be most amusing. Sure, he would have to break it up eventually, but that didn't mean that he couldn't have some fun until then.
"Is not!" Finn yelled.
"Is too!" Piper yelled back.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!" Finn said intent on making sure he said the complete opposite of whatever Piper tried to say to him.
"Is not!" Piper said with a wry smile on her face.
"Is too, and that's final!" Finn yelled from his chair that he was leaning back on as he slammed his hand down onto the table.
"If you say so Finn..." Piper said in a mocking voice.
Finn looked thoughtful for a moment before a disgusted look appeared on his face, and he cried, "HEY! You tricked me!"
"You said it was final Finn, so I guess it is your fault that Stork is running around and screaming." Aerrow said, backing Piper up.
Almost as if on cue, Stork came running past the group that had formed around the table, and on his way past them, his foot caught onto one of the legs of Finn's chair that he was still leaning back on. With a loud crash Finn was on his back with his chair on top of him, and Stork was on his stomach, eyes bulging and pupils unnaturally small.
"OW!" Finn mumbled as everyone that wasn't included in the accident started to scream with laughter.
"Do you know how many diseases and airborne sickness originate from the floors?!" Stork screamed as he tried to stand up. "And now I have them!! I'm going to go and disinfect!!" Stork cried hysterically as he ran off of the bridge. The others looked at him as he ran off.
"Now... if what Stork said is correct, you two can't count to ten..." Piper began thoughtfully.
"The Finn can do everything!" Finn said in an authoritative tone.
"Sure, count then," Aerrow said.
"Um... one, seven, four, nine, five, ten, three, six, two, seven, zero, and eight. There!" He yelled with pride.
"Um... Junko, your turn," Piper sighed.
"Uh... one, five, seven, eight, three, nine, two, ten, four, six, zero?" He asked hopefully.
Aerrow started to laugh. He couldn't hold it in anymore. This was just too hilarious.
"How dare you laugh at the master mathematician?" Finn yelled getting up. Aerrow laughed even harder. He couldn't help himself. Soon, he was gasping for air.
"Sorry," He said in between gasps.
"What's so funny about this? I want to cry and hit them good in the face!" Piper yelled in defeat.
Radarr, the only sane one in this room, or he thought so, went off to Junko to try and teach him to count. Soon, those two were off to one side of the bridge, and only a gasping Aerrow, a furious Piper, and a clueless Finn remained around the table.
"Okay Finn, we'll go slow..." Piper began. "What comes after one?"
"Seven."
"No... it's two. Repeat after me... one, two, three."
"One, three, two," Finn repeated.
"I said one, TWO, THREE."
"One, THREE, TWO," he said again.
Aerrow started laughing hysterically once more.
Piper was getting furious and impatient with Finn.
Aerrow laughed even harder.
"AERROW! Stop laughing, it's not helping this matter any!" Piper yelled at Aerrow.
"I- I said - that - I was sorry!" Aerrow managed to say between his fits of laughter.
"Aerrow!" Piper yelled exasperated.
"Phewf." Aerrow said as he managed to calm down and wipe the tears from his eyes that were the result of laughing too hard. "That was priceless."
Piper just glared at Aerrow.
"What?" He asked as if blind to the fact that Piper was glaring at him.
"If you think it's so funny, why don't you try and teach him Mr. Smarty pants!" Piper said, obviously still frustrated.
The moment Aerrow heard Piper's words, his brain worked furiously for an excuse.
"Ummm..." Aerrow said absentmindedly.
"Don't tell me you can't count either!" Piper said shocked.
"Hey! I can count!" Finn interjected.
Turning and glaring at him Piper growled, "Soon you're going to need to be able to count how many bruises and black eyes you have."
"I already know how many black eyes I'd be able to get! I'd only be able to get seven, duh!"
"Oh brother!" Piper mumbled, shaking her head as she turned back to where Aerrow had been standing moments before only not to see him there, but sneaking off towards the door.
"AERROW!" Piper practically screamed.
Just meters away from the door, Aerrow froze in his tracks and said sheepishly, "Yes?"
"Where in the Atmos do you think you're going?"
"Well, I was... Um..." Aerrow stuttered as he rubbed the back of his head with one of his hands.
Suddenly brightening he said, "I'm going to go find Stork!" With that being said, Aerrow dashed out of the bridge and into the many hallways of the Condor.
"Looks like you're stuck with me now." Finn said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Why am I not excited?" Piper asked, clearly annoyed.
"Um... because I can count better than you?" he asked shrugging.
Piper clenched her teeth and her fists and screamed, "YOU THINK I'M HAVING FUN?"
"Woah... calm down..." Finn said with hand movements that were, at least trying to, help the matter with Piper.
"Where did Aerrow get to?"
"How should I know? He said he went to look for Stork..." Finn said hesitantly, afraid of another outburst from Piper. But none came.
"Let's just get back to counting..." Piper sighed. She was getting pretty fed up with this thing, and to think that he started all of this...
"One, two, three, four, five, seven, six... did I get it right Radarr?" Junko asked hopefully.
Radarr shook his head. He showed his fingers again, Junko counted off each of his fingers, "One, two, three four, five, seven..." there Radarr stopped. He shook his head and showed the fingers again. Junko thought for a while before exclaiming, "Oh! It goes six, then seven! I got it!" He soon started jumping up and down with delight like a little child would. Well, it wasn't like a little child to Piper, Finn, and especially not to Radarr. It felt like a mountain was jumping.
"Junko, would you quit that jumping?" Piper asked, looking pale as if she was about to puke.
"Oops... sorry..." Junko muttered, quitting his jumping.
Just then, Stork came running in. He was in his Black Gorge suit, with the rubber duck around his waist.
Piper raised an eyebrow as she asked, "What's that for?"
"What else? Those two might be infected with mind worms!" Stork yelled while getting out a strange box with little rectangle things on it.
"Don't tell me it's..." Piper's sentence was left unfinished as she started coughing. So did the others.
"STORK! We are not merbs! This stuff smells bad!" she yelled while covering her nose and mouth.
"Stork! What is this junk?" Finn managed to wheeze as he collapsed on the floor, gagging.
"Mind Worm repellent!" Stork cried in victory as he pulled out another aerosol container out of the box and started spraying.
"STORK!" Piper screamed as the smell worsened.
"It's not that bad." Stork replied.
"But look who's wearing a face mask..." Finn muttered.
"You can stop now Stork!" Piper said; her cough worsening.
"Not until I kill all of the Mind Worms that have been in their brains for what must have been years if they can't count!" Stork yelled as he walked right up to Finn and sprayed a bunch of repellent in his face.
"Can't - breathe!" Finn gasped before Stork moved on to spray Junko.
"ENOUGH!" Piper screamed as she opened a window to let the putrid fumes disperse to go and attack someone else's senses. "STORK, STOP!"
At the tone of Piper's voice, everyone knew to stop.
"He... he... he." Stork laughed nervously, quickly throwing the repellent back into its box.
Shaking her head Piper said, "Finn, tell Stork that you don't have Mind Worms."
"Finn, tell Stork that you don't have Mind Worms." Finn said with a victorious grin on his face.
"FINN!" Piper yelled at a now cowering sharpshooter.
"Fine!" Finn yelped before mumbling, "Just take a chill pill already..."
"I heard that!"
"Oops." Finn said chuckling nervously before he turned to Stork saying, "I don't have any Stork, really! My mind feels minty fresh, as good as new!" Finn finished as he put a hand on Stork's shoulder.
"AH!" Stork screamed as he made a break for the door.
Turning around and stopping in the open doorway for a moment Stork yelled, "Denial is a sure sign of Mind Worm infestation in the right side of the brain! Plus, if your brain really is 'minty fresh' then we're all DOOMED!"
Just seconds after Stork dashed through one door, Aerrow came in the other and asked, "What's his problem?"
Seeing the look of pure frustration and annoyance on Pipers face Aerrow said, "I better get out of here..." He made a break for the door, only for it to be blocked by Piper.
"You are going NOWHERE this time!" she yelled before grabbing Aerrow by the ear and pulling him towards the desk where Finn sat. Finn smiled helplessly, and Aerrow returned the same helpless grin. Both of them had fallen under Piper's wrath, there was nothing they could do about it now.
"So, Aerrow, since you are so good at math, teach Finn how to count..." Piper placed her hands on her hips.
"Um... Finn, count to ten!" Aerrow said hopefully.
"One, three, two, seven..." He was cut short by Aerrow who was waving his arms.
"That's not right. It's one, two, three," he said in a hopeful tone.
"One, three two," Finn answered in reply. Aerrow smacked his forehead.
"How should I do this...?" Aerrow murmured thoughtfully as he tried to think of some way to get Finn to understand.
Grinning from ear to ear which received a puzzled look from Piper, Aerrow began, "I think I figured out a way to get you to understand this Finn!"
"And what would that be?" Finn said looking Aerrow over with slight interest as to what his idea could be.
"Yes," Piper echoed Finn. "What exactly do you have in mind anyways?" Her hands moved from her hips to be crossed in front of her chest as she tapped her foot on the floor impatiently.
"A metaphor." Aerrow replied with all simplicity.
"A metaphor?" Piper replied trying the words for herself, mostly to make sure that it was what Aerrow had actually said.
"A meta - what now?" Finn asked as he looked between the navigator and Sky Knight.
"A metaphor Finn." Aerrow said calmly.
"A meta - what?" Finn asked once again.
"A met-a-phor." Piper said through gritted teeth.
Holding up his hand Aerrow said, "Never mind what it's called Finn, the point is that it's going to help you to learn how to count."
"The Finn already knows how to count!" Finn said indignantly.
"Sure..." Piper mumbled as she rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say Finn..."
Apparently Finn and Aerrow hadn't heard Piper as it looked like Aerrow was ready to begin using his teaching tactic which he knew Piper might get a little miffed about...
"Okay Finn, imagine that you're on the beach..."
Finn cut Aerrow off and said, "What beach?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes."
"Um..." Aerrow said as he scratched his head, "Tropica?"
"Alright!" Finn said pumping his arm in the air before settling down to lean back in his chair.
"Anyways..." Aerrow said before continuing, "Imagine you're on a beach that's on Tropica. Now, imagine there are a bunch of good looking girls there; so many that you can't count them all."
"That won't be much..." Piper mumbled as she leaned on one of the bars that ran across the bridge.
Ignoring Piper's comment Aerrow began to speak again, "Now, imagine that a girl comes up to you and hugs you, obviously madly in love with you. Which number is this girl if she's the first one to fall in love with you?"
"One!" Finn replied enthusiastically
"Good!" Aerrow said, cheering on his friend, not noticing the look of disgust Piper was throwing his way.
"Now," Aerrow began, "Another girl comes up to you and links her arm through yours, what number is she?"
"Two!"
"Next a girl listening to her Mp3 comes up and flirts with you, what number is she?"
"Three!"
"How about the next one that wants to play Frisbee with you?"
"Ummm..."
"She's a blonde!"
"Oh!" Finn exclaimed. "Four! She's number four!"
"Right!" Aerrow replied, surprised that Finn had managed to count past one...
"Alright," Aerrow said ready to continue with his metaphor. "Now a brunette wants to play volleyball with you, what number is she?"
"Five!"
Grinning in triumph, Aerrow leaned back in his chair as Finn began to ramble on about all of the girls on Tropica wanting 'The Finnster'.
"Number six, sun tan lotion please! Number seven, you look like you fell from heaven! Eight, you're looking great! Nine and Ten, don't fight! There's plenty of The Finn to go around!" Finn continued on like this for awhile, and Aerrow didn't notice Piper walk up to the table, not until she kicked his chair out from underneath him that is.
"What was that for?" Aerrow asked trying to get up from the place where he had landed face first.
"Do you realize what you just did?" Piper yelled pointing to a rambling Finn.
"Um... did something that you couldn't do?" Aerrow suggested hopefully, only to be answered with a kick from Piper's foot to his side. Not too strong though.
"What was that one for?" Aerrow mumbled as he got up, ignoring his aching side.
"For not realizing what you did!"
"What did I do then?" Aerrow was starting to lose his temper with Piper.
"Finn is not going to stop rambling about this dumb metaphor anytime soon! And we all have to listen to him babbling on about girls at a beach!" Piper yelled. Junko and Radarr heard her but Finn paid no attention to what was going on, he was to busy in his own world.
"Oops..." Aerrow grinned sheepishly. "By the way, who is driving the Condor if Stork's too busy with the 'Disinfecting Process'?"
Piper looked at him and then to the helm. What she saw there was clear blue skies with a cloud here and there. And approaching fast was something that Piper didn't really want to see...
"Uh oh... I think we should call Stork..."
Mwahahaha!! A cliffhanger! XD But guess what, this is the end of this story! No continuation! Mwahahahaha!!
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