"I want that!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
Nessie's eyes fill up with tears. "Why?"
"Because Emmett will do something to it. I just know it."
Nessie looked at Jacob and began to cry.
Jacob looked down at her and groaned.
* * *
"EMMETT DESTROYED MY BEAR!"
Jacob growled at Emmett before slumping in resignation. "What did you do?"
Emmett shrugged.
Nessie held up her bear to Jacob with a watery frown. "Squeeze it."
Jacob squeezed it.
"Renesmee Cullen, pedo-bear approved!"
Jacob turned and began hitting his head against the wall repeatedly as Nessie bawled.
Emmett simply snickered.
What an asshole.
A/N: Props to Brittany (Zombie's Run This Town) for showing me that ridiculous picture after a pedophile comment on Skype and also for giving me the title of the story, to Jenny for telling me 'it's win', and to Zee for...hm. For entertaining my request for a carrot drabble.
This will be updated in random moments. I also realize I'm being total fail in updating, but I SWEAR I'm working on it. And a shoutout to caww: did I mention I love you?