This is probably the craziest idea I've ever had...

So basically, 5 things are different:

This is 20 more years into the future than the original books, so Harry goes to Hogwarts in 2011

Dumbledore is a very senile old man

No one cares about underage magic

Dumbledore figures out how to make muggle electronics work at Hogwarts (because he just does. Don't argue)

And Harry flirts with everyone (and I mean everyone)

A combination of two of the above things will result in Dumbledore constantly watching YouTube and Netflix in the Great Hall all day every day. Harry will end up with a different girlfriend each year (at least), Ron will become king of Hogwarts (somehow), and Hermione will end up beating up Malfoy at least once every few chapters. This is honestly not meant to be taken seriously.

I also don't own Harry Potter. Or YouTube. Or Netflix. Or PewDiePie, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, The Diamond Minecart or IBXToycat. I do own The 379th Hero though... lol.

Harry had been having the most interesting week ever.

First, he actually got mail... which his uncle took, but he expected that.

Then the mysterious sender kept trying despite having no logical way of knowing that his uncle kept stealing the letters. Or that Harry had (somehow) managed to get an Android phone (Dudley hated Android because 'Apple rules,' but Harry vastly preferred Android). Or that letters weren't usually found rolled up in egg-shells instead of... well... eggs!

Harry had also managed to get a decent Windows laptop recently, because, again, Dudley much prefers Apple to anything else (maybe it was the fact it was named after food...).

Also, following the first letter, his aunt and uncle had suddenly and completely unexpectedly moved him to the second bedroom. And given him a yo-yo. Harry wasn't sure why. Harry also figured out a good way to make money recently, so he had been able to pay for a few good games for his laptop. His favourite was Minecraft, though it was still in beta, so there were quite a few bugs. The game was set for a full release that November at an event called 'Minecon.'

He was hoping to somehow sneak away to it... even though it was in Las Vegas. In the United States. On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

Whatever, Harry would figure out something. Like how he had somehow teleported onto the roof of his school once and turned his teacher's wig blue. He wasn't entirely sure, but it appeared that he had super powers or something.

Anyway, after about a week, his uncle had decided that to avoid all the letters, they would take a road trip. Except that the first hotel they visited was flooded with about 100 letters.

So then his uncle (who's name, by the way, was Vernon Dursley, but Harry personally called him 'The Walrus'... just not to his face) had decided that they could get away be staying at a rock in the middle of the sea. Dudley then asked if they could go fishing for pineapples. No one said the pig, which is what Harry called Dudley, was very smart. He clearly thought SpongeBob was real.

His aunt Petunia, 'the twig', went to bed a whole two hours before Vernon and Dudley had finished attempting to catch breakfast (they did almost catch The Walrus' butt, though).

Then Harry realized that the very next day was actually his 11th birthday. It's funny sometimes how time flies.

Long after The Walrus and The Pig had fallen asleep. (Dudley, for the first time in his life, was sleeping on the sofa), Harry was still up, stargazing, when he heard the sound of a motorcycle engine. He looked towards the sound to see a large, slightly lopsided shape flying through the air. Am I hallucinating? Harry thought. He didn't have time to think about it before the shape, which Harry could see was a giant man sitting on a motorcycle (a flying motorcycle), landed on what passed as the hut's front lawn.

The giant got off. He went to knock on the door before he noticed Harry. He came over. "You 'Arry?"

Harry nodded. "Who are you?"

"I'm Rubeus Hagrid. I'm the groundskeeper at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Harry blinked. "Your the what at where?"

"Ye dun know? Hogwarts?"

"Nope."

"Curse those crazy muggles!"

"Um, what? What in hell are muggles? What are you? Who are you? Why are you here? Where and what is Hogwarts? And most importantly, do you watch YouTube?"

"Okay, firs'ly, muggles are people without magic-"

"Magic?"

"Yer a wizard, 'Arry."

"Somehow, that isn't surprising."

"What do ye mean?"

"Let me guess: my parents were magical, but The Twig, who isn't, was jealous and now has a massive prejudice against magic, and hates me because I'm magic. Also, I have a feeling they also lied about how my parents died."

"Those ruddy-"

"Finish answering my questions, then punch The Walrus in the face."

"The Walrus? The Twig?"

"My aunt and uncle. I call my cousin The Pig."

"Oh... okay. Anyway, I'm a half-giant-"

"THAT IS SO COOL!"

"Thanks. I'm Hagrid, groundskeeper at Hogwarts, like I told ye."

"Okay. Where and what is Hogwarts?"

"Hogwarts is a school for learning magic. Your parents went there."

"Can I go?"

"That's why I'm 'ere. Anyway, as to where it is... somewhere is Scotland. You can't plot it on maps due to magic. And lastly, no I don't watch YouTube, but our headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, who used to be brilliant, by the way, he does."

"'Used to be brilliant'?"

"He went pretty senile aroun' the turn of the century."

"And he's still headmaster?"

"Yup."

"Wow."

"Yup. No can I go yell at yer aunt 'n' uncle?"

"Go ahead."

Hagrid then punched the door down and stomped inside.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS TH- SWEET MOTHER OF F-"

Harry plugged his ears so he wouldn't go deaf.

About 5 minutes later, Hagrid walked out, followed closely by The Walrus, who then collapsed in the doorway, his face covered in bruises.

"Alrigh', 'Arry?"

"Yup. I plugged my ears so I could continue to hear."

He distantly heard his cousin whimpering.

"What exactly did you do?"

"Eh... yelled at them, yer uncle tried to attack me, I punched him in the face. I think maybe ye shouldn' be living with them."

"Sounds good, but let's visit their house to pack up my stuff. I got a few things I want."

"Alrigh' then, 'Arry. Jump in."

Harry grinned and climbed into the sidecar of the motorbike.

So this Harry will likely end up living with a school friend for the summer of 2012. Just gotta determine who... Ron, Hermione, Neville or someone else...

R&R!