Author's Note: Exactly how did that episode get its name? And what in the world did Williams do that made everyone so mad at him before the episode even began?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Hogan's Heroes characters. That includes Williams. He was just so perfectly annoying that I decided to play with him for a moment. Hope no one minds.
One in Every Crowd: Prologue
"Everyone clear on the details?" Hogan looked around at the men around the table. There were nods of affirmation all around.
"Colonel, I still don't understand why we 'ave to go through all of this." Newkirk complained. "We don't even know if it's necessary to blow up that railroad bridge."
"Well, it's there isn't it?" Carter pointed out.
"Right Newkirk." Hogan put an arm around the Englander. "We can't leave perfectly whole bridges lying around, now can we?"
"Besides, anything that would get us out of this rat-hole for a few hours can't be that bad." The new man put in. "Maybe we could stop in town on the way back. Spend a little time having some fun." Williams had just recently been let in on the operation at Stalag 13. He had been recruited as a back-up for the mission at hand when Colonel Hogan discovered that he had some experience with demolition.
"Not much time for fun in this war." Hogan answered shortly. For some reason, the tone of voice Williams had used rubbed him the wrong way. "Besides, we don't know if or when we'll get the ok to go ahead. Just be prepared to move. Got it?" A chorus of 'yes sir's came back.
Just then, a whistle came from the end of the tunnel. The group immediately turned toward the sound, recognizing the familiar signal. A slight figure in dark clothes and a blackened face emerged from the tunnel.
LeBeau was the first to act. "Hey it's Angel!" The outspoken Frenchman exclaimed with a wide grin.
Angel returned the grin and saluted casually as the clamor of greeting rose and she was enveloped by her friends. "Hey guys!" Her gaze traveled around the circle and rested on Williams. The female agent's blue eyes flicked to Colonel Hogan in a question.
Hogan caught on swiftly. "Angel, meet Williams. He's our back-up for this mission." She wouldn't talk unless the new man had been cleared first. "Williams, this is our contact and also our on-call medic. We call her Angel."
"Pleased to meet you." Williams almost purred. "This mission may turn out to be more pleasant that I thought." He held out a hand in greeting.
Angel didn't accept the proffered hand and she unconsciously slipped closer to the other men in the group. "Nice to meet you." She nodded. Something about this guy felt wrong. Too… slippery. "I'm glad there will be back-up." She glanced at Hogan. "You guys are going to need it."
"Why? What's up?" The colonel was instantly on alert.
"I have the information about the railroad bridge." Angel told him. "It has to be done tonight, by 2300. There a train headed for a factory across Germany that will be going over the bridge at exactly eleven o'clock. We can't let it get through." She paused for dramatic effect. "It's loaded with pure black powder."
There was a collective gasp and Kinch let out a low whistle. "Pretty big stuff."
Angel nodded. "And a very big bridge. It will take forever to wire it."
"Yeah, we might have a problem there, Colonel." Carter said sheepishly. "I don't have any more detonator caps."
"What?" Hogan turned to his explosives expert. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"
"I didn't expect to need them until tomorrow night." Carter said nervously. He wilted under his commanding officer's gaze.
"We have a shipment coming in tomorrow." Kinch said, rescuing Carter from his predicament.
"Tomorrow will be too late." Newkirk, on the other hand, was not being so helpful.
"Ok, so what do we have?" Hogan asked.
"We've got lots of dynamite." Carter's face lit up. "And enough short fuses to light up all of Berlin!"
"Will a short fuse work?" LeBeau asked doubtfully.
"Right. We want to be far enough away that we don't end up scattered all over Germany." Newkirk agreed.
"Well, I don't think it will work." Williams interjected. He was eager to show off. "It would take perfect timing. And someone who really know his way around dynamite. I-"
"I believe we have someone who fits that description." Angel interrupted. She playfully nudged Carter.
Williams looked a little ticked. "And I've worked with dynamite before. On a professional construction crew."
"Well, Carter's a pro too." Angel defended the sergeant.
"Thanks Angel, but I actually thing he's right." Carter broke in. "The fuse would be too short."
Williams looked smug. "There now, you see?"
Hogan ignored the egotistic man for the moment. "Carter, is there anything we have that might work?"
Carter was silent for a moment, which was highly unusual in and of itself. Then he sat straight up with a huge smile. "A delayed fuse." He said proudly. "I can whip one right up."
"Yes, that would work." Williams said, as if they needed his confirmation.
Angel glanced at him. The more she listened to him, the less she liked him. Unfortunately, she caught his eye and he sent her a sly smile. Angel turned back to Colonel Hogan and continued. "There is one more thing. About the placement of the explosives."
"We figured to put them at the south end of the bridge." Hogan told her.
"Yeah, once those rocks start sliding… CRASH!" Carter threw his arms out in an expression of glee.
"One problem." Angel halted the exuberant Carter. She scanned the tables quickly. "Kinch, do you have a map of the Kirchenlamitz area?"
The tall radio sergeant stood thinking for a moment. "Kirchenlamitz… That's near Heidleheim, isn't it?" He walked over to a beat up filing cabinet, pulled out a map and handed it to her. Angel spread it out on the table and the rest of the men gathered around behind her.
"The bridge is here." Angel indicated a spot on the map. "And a regiment of Wehrmacht soldiers is stationed not a mile away from the south side, here." She pointed to another spot dangerously close to the first. "I think the German high command is getting nervous about the security of their bridges." She sent a mock glare in Carter and Newkirk's direction.
Kinch placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned over to study the map. "What about the north side?"
Angel shook her head. "They aren't worried about that. The track is perched on a ledge with a sheer rock face going up on the left and a sheer rock face going down on the right."
"It would be suicide to plant dynamite from that end!" LeBeau exclaimed.
"Right." Hogan agreed.
"But we're going to do it anyway." Newkirk guessed.
"Right again." Hogan said.
"But how?" Kinch asked.
"Angel, what's the bottom of the sheer rock face like? The one going down from the track?" Hogan turned to their informant.
Angel shrugged. "Pretty rocky. It meets the forest within ten or fifteen yards."
"Could a couple of guys on ropes light a fuse and then scale back down the cliff in time to be safe from the explosion?"
Angel thought for a moment. "Yeah. If they had some experience."
"I have experience working on ropes." Williams offered. "Going up and down buildings won't be that much harder than going up and down rocks."
Hogan nodded decisively. "Good." He glanced at his watch. "Time for roll call." He told the men. "Angel, stay down here and we'll meet you as soon as Shultz finishes his lights out check tonight."
The girl nodded. "Right." Williams flashed her one last winning smile before following the others up the ladder. Angel frowned. She really had a bad feeling about that guy.
That night, they were again gathered around the table. Most of the men had donned their espionage clothing and covered their faces in grease and ashes.
"So Newkirk will radio us when the train is in position, Carter will light the fuse and then he and Williams will get off the mountain as fast as possible. LeBeau will be with me in case anything goes wrong." Hogan finished. He looked around. "Any questions?"
"Are you sure we shouldn't use a bigger demolition pack?" Carter asked wistfully. The others stared at him.
"Carter, we're going to blow up a train of gunpowder, for heavens' sake." Newkirk sounded exasperated.
"Yeah, how much bigger can a bomb get?" Kinch asked, and immediately regretted it as Carter opened his mouth. "Forget I asked." The black soldier said, holding up his hand.
"One thing you forgot, Colonel." Angel spoke up. "What about me?"
"You're staying here." Hogan answered firmly.
Angel look crestfallen. "Aw, com'on. I was ready to get out and do something tonight."
"You'll have plenty to do if Carter and Williams don't get down from that bridge fast enough." Hogan told her.
Carter made a face. "Colonel, that's a horrible thought."
Williams stared at Angel. "Actually, it might not be so bad. You might get a little banged up, but then…" An almost hungry, slow smile appeared. "Come back here. Spend some time with this pretty little nurse." He whipped out a comb and ran it through his thick hair.
Angel looked at him in open disgust. "Your eyesight must be atrocious. Not to mention your manners."
Behind her, Kinch moved forward a little, stepping up beside her protectively.
Williams either didn't notice or ignored the movement. "Just a compassionate civilian and a wounded hero." The first bit may have put Kinch on high alert simply because he was Angel's self-appointed guardian, but even the other four shifted uncomfortably at the last statement.
"She's not a civilian." Kinch told the new man coolly. With anyone else, they may have allowed Williams to play around, but not with Angel. The message came across in Kinch's tone of voice, not his words.
"Nope." Angel pulled the dog-tags from under her shirt. She was used to the kind of talk Williams was spewing and she probably could have handled him on her own in a pinch, but she was grateful for the protection she knew that the guys would give her. "I may only be a private, but I'm not a civilian."
"Does that mean I can pull rank on you?" Williams said. He was definitely avoiding the hint.
"I'm the only one allowed to pull rank around here." Hogan said. He was hoping to defuse the situation, but Williams was being too hard-headed and it probably wouldn't work. "Nobody else needs to."
"Especially on Angel." Kinch finished. The message was much less veiled this time. The air in the tunnel seemed thick with tension.
"Got a claim on her for yourself, Sargent?" Williams asked with a sneer.
Kinch remained calm, as he always did in a tough situation. "No."
"And no one will be layin' a claim on 'er." Newkirk added viciously, his accent magnified in anger.
"She's not that kind of girl." LeBeau said icily.
"Yeah." Carter threw in.
Williams looked around. Even Carter's normally easy-going gaze was dangerous and warning. The new POW backed off. "Ok. Ok. I get the message." He held up his hands. "No messing around with Angel. Not a reason to get worked up. You guys are touchy." Williams muttered.
"Only about Angel." Kinch answered. The atmosphere relaxed as it became obvious that he wasn't going to try anything else.
"Why is that?" Williams sensed he had hit a nerve, but he didn't understand why the rest of the POW's were so determined not to let him near the girl. After all, it had been a long time for all of them…
"She just showed up one day and we kind of got attached to her." Hogan said casually. "Somebody has got to look out for her."
Angel scowled and rolled her eyes. Sure she wasn't the brightest or fastest or strongest but the thought of being mother-hen pecked by a bunch of guys was a little much. Enough was enough. "You guys make it sound like I can't do anything. Can we get back to the mission?"
Hogan glanced at his watch. "Ok, we've got two hours to get to the bridge, blow up the train, and get back to camp. Let's move out."
They all filed toward the ladder at the exit.
"Good luck." Kinch called as they began to swarm upwards.
"Don't worry, we'll be back before you know it." Newkirk said.
"And the Krauts will be minus one railroad-bridge." LeBeau said cheerfully as he scampered up the ladder.
"I'm sure we'll hear all about it when you get back." Angel said.
"Oh you won't have to wait 'til then." Carter remarked, halting despite the fact that he was next in line. "You'll be able to hear it when we set the dynamite off. With all that powder… BOOM! KERPOW!" He proceeded to imitate the sounds of a train blowing up until Newkirk shoved him up the ladder.
"Comfortin' type of fellow to have livin' below me bunk." He said sarcastically as he ascended. The hatch closed with a soft thump.
Angel sighed. "Well, I'm glad that's over." She wasn't referring to leaving the tunnel.
"He won't bother you anymore." Kinch turned and strode back down the tunnel to the radio room with Angel trailing behind. "He was just fooling around."
"Yeah. You'd think I'd be used it with the way you guys react every time you see a new female agent in the Underground." Angel teased.
"Hey!" Kinch protested mildly. He started to roll up the map and put it back. "We're not that bad."
"Oh sure." Angel ribbed. "You guys congregate faster than mosquitoes on a hot day in June. And you make about the same amount of noise."
"But at least we know when to back off." Kinch said, stretching his arms and then sitting in his chair in front of the radio.
Angel collapsed into another chair and settled in to wait. "I'll give you that."
Kinch turned his head to grin at her. "Thanks."
Angel turned serious. "Really though, there's something that bothers me about that guy. I just can't put my finger on it. What's he like?"
Kinch shrugged. "I don't know him personally. I get the impression that he's pretty full of himself, but most of them are."
"Yeah." Angel was silent for a minute. "But I get the feeling there's something more. He's trouble."
"Or you're paranoid."
"Call it paranoia, superstition, or woman's intuition, it all adds up to the same thing. I plain just don't like the guy."
Kinch hid a smile. "Well, you did have a bit of a rough start." He said, his dark eyebrows shooting toward the bill of his green cap.
Angel nodded. "True." She shook herself. "I'm getting carried away. I need some sort of action."
"Sorry." Kinch told her. "Looks like you're stuck here with me. Out of the action."
"Yeah." Angel sighed. "Wanna play checkers?"
It was exactly eleven o'clock when an explosion shook the tunnel, and exactly midnight when the tree stump entrance was thrown open and the five figures descended.
Angel was the first to meet them. She watched as the first person, who happened to be Newkirk, landed on the tunnel floor. His beaming face told her all she needed to know.
"Well, it looks like you won't be needing me tonight after all." She said when all of the men were standing in front of her.
"No, but if you know any good bridge engineers, you might want to suggest them to General Burkhalter." Hogan tossed back.
"You really did a number on it, huh?" Angel shared the obvious excitement of the success.
"Boy, you should've seen it!" Carter said jubilantly. "It was timed just perfectly and the powder made the biggest flash you can imagine!"
"Oui. Even I have to admit it was magnifique." LeBeau added.
"And you shoulda seen those Krauts at the camp scramblin' after that explosion." Newkirk laughed.
"Sounds like I really missed out." Angel said, almost regretfully. "Oh, Colonel Hogan, there's a radio message coming in right now."
"When it happens, it all happens at once." The colonel sighed and walked down the tunnel. Newkirk, LeBeau, and Carter followed him, still discussing the mission. Angel went to go after them and felt a hand on her arm.
Williams was slightly jealous of the girl. The men known as Hogan's Heroes had accepted her so easily, including her in the celebration as if she was one of them. The new POW, on the other hand, had felt like an outsider the whole time. "You never asked me what I thought." Williams said acidly.
"I figured you'd speak up if you had something to say." Angel told him. "You seem rather adept at doing that."
"Well that's no way to treat a man who's spent a long, cold night blowing up bridges." Williams took a step towards her, half expecting her to move back.
She didn't. The man was a lot bigger than Angel and there was no doubt who would be the winner in a wrestling match. She was depending on surprise and a bit of psychology if things got rough. "If you will remember, you have been warned." Angel raised her voice, knowing that it would carry down the tunnel easily. "I'm not interested in what your idea of the correct treatment is."
"How would you know?" Another step towards her. Williams thought she was flirting, pushing him away to play with him. "You've never tried it."
Angel watched him carefully. He was now within her personal comfort zone. She felt her senses sharpening as she went into what she called battle mode. Her vision tunneled to the target in front of her and the rest of the world was simply blocked out. Her breathing became slightly faster and her hands curled. Time seemed to slow down. "This is your last warning." Her voice was quiet, almost soft. "I won't stand still for this."
A more observant person would have noticed the danger signs and back off. Williams leaned forward. Angel reacted instantly. Her fist slammed into the man's solar plexus. She threw all her body weight into the blow and it knocked the air out of his lungs, causing Williams to double up in shock. Angel reset her stance, locked her hands together, and smashed them upwards into the point of his chin. The impact snapped his head back and Williams ended up on his back, not moving.
"Blimey!" A voice came from the tunnel. Angel whirled and was relieved to find her friends had watched the entire scene.
"You laid 'im out better than some of the street fighters I know in London." Newkirk continued, walking over and crouching to examine the man on the ground.
"Only because I got the drop on him. He wasn't expecting me to do that. Otherwise…" Angel took a deep breath as she realized what she'd done. "Boy, that could that have gone a lot worse."
"What happened?" Colonel Hogan was the next to speak.
Angel shrugged, trying to shake off the effects of battle mode at the same time. "He wouldn't quit pushing." She joined the group in the tunnel.
Carter was staring. "He shouldn't have done that. I mean, a guy really ought to know when to quit. He just should."
Hogan sighed, swept off his cap, and ran a hand through his hair. "Great. Just great. Now what?"
"Give me half a chance and I'll finish what Angel started." Kinch said evenly.
Angel smiled and laid a hand on his arm. "Thanks. He may be a half-witted egomaniac, but I don't think he needs to be pulverized."
"Yet." LeBeau snapped. "I say we ship him out and let the Krauts deal with him."
"And wot if 'e decides to tell Jerry what we've been up to?" Newkirk questioned from across the room.
"Look guys, like it or not he's one of us. Williams gets the benefit of the doubt." Hogan said. "And Kinch, that means you leave him alone."
"No trouble there Colonel." Kinch crossed his arms. "I'm going to avoid him like the plague."
The colonel frowned. "He's just a troublemaker. There's one in every crowd."