It's 11:35 am. I'm not sure what the date is, for my optic only displays the time. I'm sliding along my management rail, looking to see if there are any subjects still alive. Most were just skeletons. I couldn't tell you why they decided to put me in charge of all the bloody humans. Forty thousand humans who can't take care of themselves! I do see one chamber that has power. Odd. None of the other chambers have power. I'll go check it out.
As I approach the door, I hear the tune of the wake-up announcement. It seems to be shorting out. I'll go in. I knock. I start to hear footsteps. Bloody hell! Someone is alive in there! Ready, 1, 2, 3. I open the door and see the subject standing there. I've seen this woman's file. If I'm recalling correctly, her name is Chell. I go in to greet her, when I hear the announcer tell us to prepare for reactor core meltdown! I've never had to deal with one of these! I tell Chell to stay calm, but I'm having trouble doing that myself. I decide to try and drive us out to the testing track. That's probably the best place to be right now.
As I go into the ceiling, I see Chell is confused. I'll clear things up later. I begin driving. After we go about 7 yards, I come back down to check in on her. I try to explain a bit. "Most test subjects experience some... uh... cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for QUITE a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage." I suddenly realize what I'm telling her. So I quickly add. "But don't be alarmed! But if you do feel alarmed, try to hang on to that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told that you have brain damage. Do you understand what I'm saying? Just tell me just say 'yes'"
She jumped. That's weird. Why did she jump? Maybe the brain damage is indeed very serious. I should probably tell her that's jumping, not saying "ok". "Okay, what you're doing there is jumping, um you just jumped. But never mind. Say 'Apple'". She just jumped again. Why does she keep doing that. I just realized the situation we're in. "Ok you know what that's close enough. Just hold tight." I try to drive us out. It's actually a lot harder than I thought. What is management going to say when they find ten thousand flipping vegetables? Chell looked at me strangely. I must have said that out loud by accident.
Just then we reach a wall. It said "DOCKING STATION". Good! A docking station. I think. It doesn't quite look like a docking station. We'll just have to find out. I drive the chamber into the wall. It bounces back off and it sounded to have broken something. "Good news. That is NOT a docking station. So that's one mystery solved." She looked at me, annoyed. Sorry luv, there's no other way to go, I mumble quietly, making sure she can't hear. I ram the chamber into the wall. It starts to break. Good. One more should do it. I ram the wall at full speed, and moments before hitting the wall, I notice it says "DOCKING STATION: 500 FEET BELOW". Whoops. Oh well.
The impact shakes the room massively. I then realize what's about to happen. A person with brain damage is about to run the most difficult and deadly testing track in the facility. I warn her about it, but she continues on with confidence, almost as if she's done it before. My management rail won't go any further. All I can do now is wish her luck. So I do.
She goes into the old chamber and I can't see her anymore. What to do now. I sit and think for a bit. I finally decide to plan an escape route. She looked as though she's been in this place for at least decades, and she might like fresh air. I dig through my memory files and find a map of the entire facility. I look over it and find a small room labeled "ESCAPE POD". It says that it's activated from the main breaker room. So I look at how to get there. As soon as I start tracing back I run into a problem. Of course. Right next to the small main breaker room is a massive room labeled "CENTRAL AI CHAMBER". No. That means... Oh lord. I nearly fall off my rail thinking about it. On the bright side, a subject took her down years ago. Come to think of it, that subject looked an awful lot like Chell. Strange. I've only seen pictures from the security cameras though.
I look at the map again and run into another problem. The switch to reactivate Her is in the same room as the switch for the escape pod. Man, we better not screw this up or we are DEAD. I go to one of the old chambers along the track to wait for Chell there. Might as well rest while I wait.
Sleep Mode Activated
Sleep Mode Deactivated
I'm awoken by the sound of opening doors. She's here! Good. This is where the portal gun should be. I tell her to go look by the podium. It looks as though the portal gun fell off somewhere. Chell went to go look. Oh crap! The floor collapsed beneath her! "Can you see the portal gun?" I ask. I don't hear any response. She very well could have jumped. But then I think of a worse possibility. "Also are you alive?" I add "That's important I should've asked that first." I can hear faint splashes in water. And portals. PORTALS! That means she found a portal gun. And it also means she's alive! Even better.
I move along my rail and find the perfect spot to wait. When I get there I find a small flaw in my GENIUS plan. My rail won't go any further! We have to go this way. I think and think of what to do. There is only one solution I can think of. And that involves possible death. They programmed me to have the ability to detach myself from the rail. But they told me to never ever disengage myself or I would DIE. This is a dilemma. I'll go into sleep mode on it.
Sleep Mode Activated
Sleep Mode Deactivated
I have decided that I need to disengage myself from the rail. After a very short wait, I hear the sound of opening doors. Good, Chell made it! And she DID find a portal gun! I have to break the news to her. "So let me lay something on you here, it's pretty heavy. They told me, never ever EVER disengage myself from my management rail or I would DIE." I pop my optic out a bit for extra emphasis. "But we're out of options here. So, get ready to catch me on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing. Here we go. On three. Ready," I can't do it, "1," I just can't ,"2",I can't just risk dying in the middle of a bloody great plan,"3." It's also quite a distance to the ground, and I don't have any legs to wear long fall boots.
"It's too high, isn't it really that. Alright going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's go on one this time ready? One." I disengage myself from my rail. It's terrifying. I feel the air pass me as I fall, waiting to hit the ground and break and die. That's when I feel a small electric shock, and I seem to be floating. I open my optic. BLOODY FRIGGIN HELL! She caught me! "I am not dead, I'm not dead!" I laugh triumphantly. I need to get us out of this room, but the door won't open.
I look around and find a panel with it's firewalls down. Good! I can hack it! I manage to access the port wirelessly, but I need to be plugged in to hack it. I ask Chell, and she plugs me in. "Yeah, I can't do it with you watching" I say. She looked confused. I'm not kidding though. I am programmed in such a way that makes it so I physically cannot hack when people are watching. I'm not sure why the bloody scientists decided to do it that way. Anyway, Chell turns around and I hack the panel.
The hacking was quite easy. After I finished, the panel popped open and I ejected myself from the port. Chell picked me up, and so off we go. "Look at this! No rail to tell us where to go!Oh this is brilliant. We can go wherever we want! Hold on though where are we going. Let me just get my bearings." I turn around so my optic faces forward. I look up to see another rail. Seriously? Oh well. We now know I won't die popping off these things. Pretty embarrassing though. "Just follow the rail actually."
We walk along and run into one of the vacuum delivery systems. A broken turret sits there. "I'm different" he says. Not this guy again. He always goes on about these people named Prometheus and Caroline, and then tells us to not make lemonade. I wasn't planning on making lemonade.
We pass the turret and make it to one of the doors to Her chamber. I'm scared. No. I'm not scared. I'm terrified. We approach the door to the main chamber. I don't want to go in there! Don't go in there! Oh, she's off. THANK GOD. I decide to tell Chell about Her demise. "You know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this: a HUMAN. I know! I wouldn't have believed it either. Apparently this human escaped and no one's seen him since." Chell had a worried look on her face. Like she was hiding something. Probably just scared. It's ok luv, I'm scared too.
We walk through past the incinerator. She seemed to cringe when we walked past it. Odd. It's like all this has to do with the incinerator. We walk past it and down some stairs. Oh, the bottom broke. We have to jump. "JUMP! Actually, look at that that is quite a distance isn't it." I then notice she's wearing long fall boots. "Alright, you know what? Go ahead and jump. You got braces on your legs, so we're all fine" But she only has braces on her legs. She has to rely on her strength to keep a grip on the device, and by extension me.
I warn her about the bad possibilities. She jumps. We fall. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" We land with a crash. We walk along a catwalk to the main breaker room. Holy- bloody hell! That's a long way down! We make it to the main breaker room. "This is the main breaker room." I tell her to look for a switch that says escape pod. I don't want her to accidently reactivate... GLaDOS. There I did it! I said Her name!
It's too dark to see anything. I ask Chell to plug me in and I turn the lights on. We start turning. WAIT. TURNING! Umm... did I turn something else on by mistake? Chell looks scared. "It's fine as long as it doesn't start moving up." We continue looking around for the switch. OH SH*T WE'RE MOVING UP! Chell looks around at the switches. The platform we're standing on is flipping EVERY BLOODY SWITCH IN THE ROOM! Sh*t. We move to the top and into Her chamber.
"Powerup initiated." CRAP! I can tell that Chell is on the verge of snapping. I'm panicking to. I try hacking it. It didn't work. "Power-up complete." Dammit. I tell Chell to act natural. She's awake. GLaDOS is alive. "Oh it's you." Wait! Does Chell know her? "It's been a LOOOONG time. How have you been. I've been really busy being dead You know, after you MURDERED ME." WHAT? Claws come down. One grabs Chell by the waist. One is coming towards OH GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS ME!
The claw pulls me out of the port and right next to Her. "Okay, look we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. GLaDOS drops me for a split second then- OW! SHE JUST BLOODY CRUSHED ME! She throws me off to the side. I can barely see anything. Everything is spinning and blurry. "But I think we can put our differences behind us. For Science. You Monster." She says. "I will say though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, REALLY love to test. I love it to. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first. GLaDOS drops Chell down the incinerator.
Then everything went black.