A/N: Hey everyone! Have had this idea stuck in my head for the past several days and wanted to give this a shot. It's hard writing this because well, frankly it breaks my heart. But R&R and let me know of suggestions or anything really. Also check out my first fan fic called "Can it be?". I think I have an idea for a sequel to it but I don't want to disappoint! Thanks again! Lets get to the show...

Also I don't own PP or the small phrase I used from Easy A. The plot though is mine and Im not proud of heart break...

As I sit here and contemplated my life, I began to wonder why I just can't find my happy ending. Everything moved so fast and I can hardly contain all my emotions. It started great but somewhere along the lines a crack formed and it split my world apart and I don't know how. No matter how many times I replay our last day together, I cant seem to find anything to help me correct my wrongs that I can only assume I did…

Let me start from the beginning, my name is Beca Mitchell and I let the one person that gave me hope, go. I had her and I let her slip through my fingers. She's been gone 4 months and 27 days and she has yet to return my calls or texts. At the beginning I would also show up to her door and I would always end up escorted out. How could she shut me out so quickly? I must have done something for her to react this way right? We were together 5 years and 11 months and then she just up and left exactly one month before our 6 year anniversary.

I remember I walked into OUR home that day and set my keys on the table near the door. I set my bag down and went looking for her and called out her name several times…

I skipped to the exact moment my heart stopped functioning…

"Beca, Im leaving…"

"Chlo babe, I heard you the first time. Let me just get some of my stuff packed because this is sudden. Just tell me where WE are going…"

"No Beca. I, AM LEAVING… YOU…"

Stop. I tell my brain and I shut out the memory. Don't do this again. I cant let myself slip into that memory because I'll fall into that black hole that ate me from the inside out. My world crumbled before me on that day and after a month of drowning in those dreaded feelings, I was able to semi fake my way around. But it only lasted for a couple hours until I was consumed by those feelings once again. With the help of people who knew of the damaged she did, they sympathized with me and repeated to me over and over, how I did nothing wrong. One of them specifically being miss Aubrey Posen. She was Chloe's best friend but when she heard of her sudden departure she was at my side everyday since then. Of course she talked to her here and there, I mean they were best friends, but she always seem to take my side when anything came up about the situation. Maybe I should ask her what happened? I didn't expect her at all to pick my side but she did and that must mean something right? Maybe I didn't do anything wrong…

Shut up Mitchell, of course you did. That's why she's not here… No. I am doing it again. I begin to work on my recent project to distract myself. I have decided to produce Stacie's recent album and it helps to put my mind on other things. Stacie's current album is all lovely dovey because of her relationship with Aubrey at the moment, so it is hard to hear the lyrics sometimes. Stacie suggested that I shouldn't do it, because of my emotional state, but Aubrey being who she is said that it was a great way to help me deal with my feelings. And just between you and me, I think I agree with Posen. I don't have hope for love anymore for me, but I do have hope for them. The way Stacie looks at Aubrey with complete adoration makes me smile. Stacie can control any situation when Aubrey seems frustrated and out of control. It's also the way Aubrey can tell what Stacie needs to hear in certain situations to prevent any panic attacks from forming that makes me feel happy for them. They complete each other in ways they couldn't do themselves. God I have to stop letting Jesse into my head. His movications have been helpful in a way, they help me deal with my current emotional state, but don't tell him I said that either. If it wasn't for him, I don't know what I'd do. Jesse has been nothing but supportive and for that, there are no words to say how much I care and love him. Jesse has been a great distraction but because the movies are always predictable, I cant just stop all the cute outcomes and see how my life really isn't a movie. Because no, John Hughes did not direct my life… Damn it Jesse, I did it again. Then my mind wanders and I start thinking maybe I should have let Jesse in, instead of Chloe… Maybe he wouldn't have crushed me because of all the movies he is obsessed with… Stop. Of course thats not what you wanted at the time, because Chloe consumed you and you were complete. She was your everything. And if I am honest, if I knew what I know now back then, I'd probably let her in again. Just to feel all that overwhelming happiness I used to feel. Just to feel good again. But look at me now… And I am reminded of all the shit she dumped on me…

Anyway, as we sit waiting for Aubrey, to arrive to listen to the draft of Stacie's album, Stacie and I begin talking about their relationship.

"God Beca, I just love her so much its hard to even be without her for a day you know?"

"Yea Stacie I know." I sit grinning because hey, it's just adorable the way Aubrey was able to contain the HUNTER. And still after all this time, they just have so much love. That reminds me of Chloe and…

"Yea but like I don't know what my life would be like without her…?" I clear my head of thoughts that have started. Stop, you are listening to other people, it is time for it to not always be about you…

"Yea I know that exact fear…" I look down because I am living that nightmare as we speak. Knowing the vibe I am putting off, Stacie realizes what she has brought up inside me.

"Oh god Beca, shit, I am so sorry I didn't mean to say stuff like that…"

"Stop Stacie I am fine. Hey, come on now. Look, I want to be here for these types of conversations like you were for me. I am a little more comfortable about this. Time keeps going and I cant always sit and dwell so don't stop." I reach over and grip her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. It's true, I hate that they still have to watch what they say around me. I hate that they still try and watch the way they act around me. I mean yea at first, I hated it, if I am being honest. I hated that they still had everything and I had nothing. But it wasn't fair, it wasn't their fault she fucking broke my heart…

"Yea ok Beca but please let me know when it becomes to much." Her voice rips me away from the anger that had begun to boil inside me.

"Yea ok I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I grip the pinky she is holding out with my pinky and give her a smile. "Anyway Stacie I know what you mean, believe me, and what you guys have is amazing and it makes me gag." I laugh, trying to ease back into the conversation. She gives me a small smile before she looks at the floor.

"Can I ask you something? And if its too much just say." It's just above a whisper so I know she it contemplating whether to ask.

"Go ahead Stacie, ask away."

"What is it like…" My eyebrows knit and I honestly have no idea what she talking about.

"What is what like?" I ask with confusion laced in my voice. She wont look at me and I am trying to figure out what has gotten into her.

"What was it like… I mean what is it STILL like to have lost her?" She finally looks me in the eye and I freeze. She fidgets because she has more to say and I want to hear it, so I nod so she can continue.

"I mean you loved her… God you loved her… Anyone with eyes can see that you would have done everything and anything for her. So what is it like… to have her… just leave?" She says bluntly. And I cant help but feel small because what she was saying was true. I loved Chloe Beale with everything I had and she just left like I was nothing. When I looked at her she took all my worries away and I felt whole. She completed me the way Stacie and Aubrey complete each other. She would make my worse situations 100 times better. But here we are ,where she is now the cause of my depression…

"Well… Stacie… Um…" I contemplate on how to express myself because how do you describe heart break? I take a deep breath and let it out before I continue. "The first couple of days it literally feels like nothing exists. Your brain it working but its filled with nothing but except on how it ended. And the scene keeps playing over and over like a bad re-run." I look up and see her anxiously waiting for me to either stop or continue. So I take another breath and I continue. "You are in a zombie like state and days seem to pass like years and it just feels like the Earth has stopped moving." I remember feeling like this and I have to push out the reoccurring memory, if I want to continue the story. "Then after that, it feels like you have had your heart cut out and stepped on. At least for me it did. I cried till I put myself to sleep or till the alcohol did. If I am being honest, alcohol helped me a lot at first." I stop to take another breath because Stacie knew about my alcohol problem but I never talked about it as a way of coping. "It numbed me from feeling that pain I felt that day and it let me be angry with her. When I was sober, I couldn't me angry with her because she was… she was Chloe… my Chloe. You couldn't be mad at Chloe, ever." My voice cracks because I start to see that pouty face that Chloe gave me when she broke something or did something wrong. I start to see those twinkling eyes that went with that face and I start to feel light headed. I shake my head and I look into my hands because Stacie knows that exact feeling. No one could ever be mad at Chloe, thats just the kind of person she was. "What alcohol did was it let me express my anger without feeling guilty about being angry with her. It let me hate her. When my drinking stopped, you know when Aubrey took matters into her own hands…" A small smile appeared on my face when I looked at Stacie because she knew how Aubrey saved me from myself. "When I stopped, Aubrey got me to let my feelings out when I was sober. She made me feel them and god how I hated it. I hated how she made me feel them. How I hated all the pain, all the time, and all the anger that would come and go with no relief you know?" Stacie nodded her head but kept quite. "After that month of agony, I hated her all the time. I heard her name and instant wrath consumed me. But after that emotion came another emotion of pure helplessness. I say helplessness because I still tried reaching out to her with me no positive outcome. I called and texted and I went to the place where she was staying and I felt helpless. I couldn't control the situation I was in so I couldn't avoid any negative outcome. I was disappointed when she didn't come back. So anger took over or sadness, it depended. But it didn't stop and I was waiting for her to finally answer the 54 texts I sent her or for her to return the 74 calls I made and reply to the over dozen voicemails I left." All the voicemails that I left her start to replay in my head and it all sounds real and I have to shut my opens eyes and put my hands over my ears to prevent me from hearing them again.

"Chloe… Babe… Please stop this… Answer me and just come back so me can talk. Tell me what happened or what I did wrong. Baby please… Chlo, please…"

I feel a pair of hands over my ears and I snap out of the memory that I have entered once again.

"Beca stop. We can stop. I am sorry. I didn't… Sorry just come here." And its then I realize that I had been slowly letting tears fall. Stacie has pulled me into a hug and I feel another body against me.

"Beca I am so sorry she did this." I realize Aubrey has heard and she is sobbing into my back. This sends me into sobbing uncontrollably because it's the first time I say it all out loud and I can honestly say it feels good to let Stacie and Aubrey in. It feels good to let my walls down instead of holding up the crumbling walls. We sit and hold each other for several minutes.

"Its fine guys." I say finally pulling away, wiping the tears and I know that this will help if I just talk about it slowly. "You were right Posen, letting me talk about it makes a wave of relief fall over my body for a bit, but I think thats all I can do today…" I look down embarrassed because I let them see how fragile I was.

"Beca. You did so good and you will survive. Sometimes you gotta break it down to build yourself back up again." Aubrey said with a genuine smile. Stacie nodded, wiping her own tears away.

"Thanks guys." She was right. With their help I could go back to Beca 'Effing Mitchell, but with baby steps at a time.

Another couple of months past, officially 8 months since Chloe left… Not like I am still counting or anything… But I was. Of course I was, but I had gotten much better. Small things to work on but for the most part I was rebuilding myself and it felt great. Mainly because Chloe's career was thrown in my face all the time but I was able to tolerate her name and images of her.

The only thing that was left was her voice… And that was going to be one hell of a test…

"Beca are you almost ready? That party is being DJ-ed by you and it wont look well if you show up late." Aubrey said pounding on the door. I took a breath and replied playfully.

"Well Posen the party cant start without the DJ so technically I can do what I damn well please." Adding the finishing touches, I was finally ready.

"God Beca why are you being so damn sassy." Aubrey said chuckling.

"Because would you have it any other way?" I said smiling stepping out of my room. I was sporting my hair down in curls and a leather jacket with a red and black plaid shirt underneath. Finished it with a pair of black skinny jeans and some black heels. It was something comfortable but somewhat suitable for performing tonight.

"Nope. Actually I wouldn't, but lets go Stacie is getting impatient and she'll end up undressing herself and well…"

"Ok stop. Enough." I said putting my hands up walking down the steps.

"Well… after she completely naked she will start to throw herself on me…"

"I said no more Posen." I put my fingers in my ears to prevent me from hearing anything else, now walking fast…

"And will we know the HUNTER has quite an appetite…" Aubrey said smirking.

"EW EW! No! LA LA LA LA LA!" I say because thats just gross thinking about my two best friends fooling around.

Aubrey is now laughing and Stacie has turned the corner with amusement in her eyes. I stop dead in my tracks as she blocks my way.

"Whats wrong Beca?" Stacie says seductively slowly walking towards me. "Don't you know the Hunter is ready all day… everyday." She raised an eyebrow with a devilish smile and her hand is in my collar…

"AHHHHH! I am going to the car!" I said grabbing my bag and keys and run to the car while they double over in laughter at my embarrassment.

When Chloe left, Aubrey and Stacie had me move into their home because I couldn't stand being in the house. Our House… Nope. I shoved that thought away and turned my mind to other things. I was getting better at shutting those memories up for longer periods of time. Time, time was what I needed and support. Who knew Mitchell would finally let her guard down completely… I smirked because it felt better this way and I haven't felt this way in a long time.

It was the first time since Chloe left that I attended/hosted an event. I was asked to DJ an after party. I was excited until I heard who potentially could be attending. Considering it was a movie awards after party, I shouldn't have been surprised to who was going to be there, there was a high chance that Chloe Beale would be in attendance. I was about to decline the offer but Aubrey said that it would come down to this eventually and I could always avoid her. And it is true but I knew what Chloe could still do to me. I wasn't completely healed yet and if she even looked my way I could go weak in the knees. Aubrey and Stacie insisted I go and said at least one of them would always be with me and they would bring Jesse too for more coverage. I mulled over the situation and said yes because I had to start somewhere. If I declined, the media would go into another frenzy about how I didn't attend because of Chloe blah blah… Which was true but I wasn't going to let them win this time.

The media went into shock when they found out we weren't together anymore. Not that I think that highly of myself, but all the headlines literally said, 'Is Americas sweethearts calling it quits…' They only could assume what happened and a lot of it had negative assumptions about me. It was mainly about me because who could even think that Chloe could hurt someone. She wouldn't even hurt a fly. If only they knew… It became unbearable and Aubrey always switched it to something else instead of hearing what I could have done wrong. I got better at it and got better at ignoring those stupid people. But when new stuff surfaced I couldn't take it, it was when I heard several entertainment news talk about a new boy toy Chloe was with. That really crushed me. The fact it being a boy didn't bother me, we played for both teams, but rather that she could have already moved on is what got to me the most. I always switched it off because I didn't want to go back to my black hole… The one I was finally getting out of…

"OK Beca you ready? We are here…" Aubrey said nervously. I was taken from my thoughts and I looked at Aubrey and then at Stacie. Smiling I replied with hope.

"Lets have some fucking fun. Ready?" Both having grins spread on their face, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Instantly I was blinded by the flashes and went deaf from the noise. I started breathing heavy and knew I was gonna have a panic attack any minute…

"We got you Beca. Lets show them that she cant control you anymore." Stacie said to me and instantly my panic subsided and I smiled because they were gonna be there for me and it made my heart clench. With one on each side we walked the small walk to the entrance of the club. We walked in and Jesse saw us and walked up to us instantly.

"BECAW!" Jesse said flapping his arms. Smirking, I rolled my eyes.

"Whats up weirdo?!" Shoving him playfully as he enveloped me into a hug. Hugging Jesse made me feel a lot better.

"Its great to see you." He said with a genuine smile as we pulled out of the hug.

"It is great seeing you too." I smiled and I knew what he meant. It was great seeing me finally out of that funk. And god did it feel great.

"You ready to show them what DJ Mitchell is all about?!" He said and he jumped up and down like a little kid on Christmas.

"Yea lets do it!"

We headed towards the bar to get a drink. I did stay away from the alcohol but this was a night to celebrate and one drink wouldn't hurt. Besides it could help with the nerves. As we left the bar, I checked my phone to see how much time I had till it was my turn for the ending set.

"An hour huh?" Stacie said smirking. "Well DJ, get your ass on the dance floor, now!" Then they all started to drag me away as I Ioudly voiced my disapproval. I started self conscious but I got into the groove and let myself go. Last time I felt like this I was with Chloe… My brain started until I felt a pair of hands. I stopped and turned around to see Jesse trying to dance close with me.

"Beca, it's so good to see you be yourself again!" He yelled over the music and I laughed and looked over to see Aubrey and Stacie who were smirking as I turned around to let Jesse dance with me.

"Thanks Jesse! It feels good to finally let loose!" I yelled over the music. I looked at my phone again and saw I had 30 minutes left before I had to start and set up.

"You REALLY do look good Beca…" His flirtatious grin caught me off guard but I brushed it off as we danced.

Time came and I excused my myself from the group and I made my way up to the booth. Quickly and nervously I set up my equipment and faded the music out.

"HEY EVERYBODY! Its DJ Mitchell and its time for my take over!" Everyone screamed and everyone started chanting my name. "Hey guys, so listen…" I start to say to get the crowd quiet. "Before I get started, I just want to dedicate this performance to a couple of people, 3 in specific. Stacie, Jesse and especially Aubrey, you guys have been the push to drag me out of my black hole and if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be performing tonight so lets give them a round of applause!" I searched and found the group and waved as the applause died down. "Whose ready to dance the fucking night away?! Lets do this!" And I slide into my first song and let the music and adrenaline take over. 2 hours later, I cued a list of songs so I can go back and hang with my friends.

"What a beautiful set Beca!" Stacie screamed as I walked toward them. She pulled me into a hug and Aubrey lingered a bit longer in her hug as she whispered in my ear.

"Beca you played a Titanium mix…" I pull back and nodded.

"I did it because I cant let it taunt and control me Aubrey. I had to play it to show that she doesn't affect me because her mixes always had Titanium in them and they were never played for anyone but her. I have to slowly let her go." Aubrey looked at me and smiled giving my arm a squeeze.

"OK good." Thats when I felt Jesse pick me up and spin me around.

"Get off nerd!" I say squirming and laughing.

"You did great Becs. Wanna go outside and get some air?" I look at him and nodded. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the Patio. On the way people stopped and greeted me and expressed how great my set was. It felt nice to have all the positive attention on me but the real me was blushing like an idiot. It took a while to get there, but Jesse and I finally got to the Patio. We fell into conversation about the night and talking about our crazy work lives. Jesse somewhat knew what happened with Chloe, considering, how I vaguely talked about it. But I couldn't find it forever but he never asked and stayed away from that topic. The one thing he did know for sure was the Chloe did a number on me and I was a mess. I knew he always had a crush on me but always was respectful of my space.

I was slowly letting this flirting get the best of me when it was then I felt eyes on me and I would turn around frantically to see who it was but I found no one staring. It kept happening and I was starting to get worried. Jesse must have noticed because he had a concerned look on his face.

"Whats wrong Beca?" He asked trying to see what I was looking for.

"Nothing. I don't know. I feel like weird and…"

"No fucking way…" He interrupted and his eyes went wide.

"Jesse what? Whats happened?" Starting to panic. I grabbed his hand and then I heard it before I saw what he was looking at. I froze, my eyes went wide and I saw him look at me with panic all over his face. My blood went cold and I felt like I was gonna pass out.

"Uh-… Hey Beca… Hello Jesse…"

It was Chloe fucking Beale. And boy did she have a lot of nerve…