"Amy."
"Amy."
"Amy."
As usual, Sheldon stood at the door of Amy's lab and knocked even though she had already seen him. With a small smile, she continued filling up the data tables at her desk and allowed his boyfriend to finish his knocking before acknowledging his presence. It's just one of the quirks that made her love him more.
"Hello, Sheldon. What brought you here?" she asked, looking up at him from her seat.
Sheldon entered the lab, his jaw clenched and his lips tightly pressed together. "I'll get straight to the point," he started, "because unlike our friends who have this inordinate propensity for banal digressions, I'm a straight shooter, which reminds me, did you know…"
"What is it, Sheldon? Can't it wait until later? We're gonna see each other anyway."
Amy cut him off, seeing as he was about to, in fact, digress. She was getting a distinct feeling that he was deliberately trying to delay telling her the purpose of his visit.
"No, it cannot wait. And, no, we're not gonna see each other later."
"Why not? Is there an emergency in videogame land again? Someone needs saving?' she teased.
"No."
Sheldon breathed in deeply and struggled to look her straight in the eye.
"I think we need to end this relationship." He said, barely pausing for air.
She stared at him blankly, remembering that she had heard those words before. She could see that he was upset and did not want to aggravate his state, so, despite herself, she replied—
"Okay."
Sheldon closed his eyes and swallowed with difficulty. "Good." He then lifted his chin, feigning indifference, as he pulled out his tablet and added, "You know the drill. Just sign with your finger. And don't cry on my Ipad, I still don't have Apple care."
Still a little dazed from what was happening, Amy mechanically grabbed the tablet and signed her name. She glanced at the document to buy her time to gather her thoughts and compose herself. She sighed; whatever this is, I'm sure it'll pass, she thought as she returned the device to her now and very first ex-boyfriend.
"Thank you, Amy," he said, lingering at her door.
"Do you mind telling me what's all this about? Don't you love me anymore?" she asked.
Sheldon walked closer and looked down at her, once again assuming the role of the proud, unaffected man. He would have preferred a more clever answer to her question but all he came up with was—
"Oh, I do. You are the love of my life," he gulped after realizing what he just blurted out. To redeem himself and stand his ground about their separation, he added, "but clearly I am too advanced for this kind of things."
"I don't understand," Amy frowned.
"Exactly," he said with a condescending tone. "I have contemplated the possible scenarios that this relationship would go through and its eventual consequences on both of us. And, unfortunately, I arrived at the rock solid conclusion that there will come a time that your understanding of my abilities will run out and we will inevitably go our separate ways. So, before that happens, I wisely thought that we should speed it up, skip the brouhaha and all that drama, and go right to the ending. I'm actually doing both of us a favor as this is clearly a waste of our precious time."
In her head, Amy's posing a lot of objections to Sheldon's glaringly flawed arguments. But ever the patient person that she was, she held her peace and instead asked him to elaborate.
"So, you're saying I will cease to understand you? That I will lose patience with you? And that will end our relationship?"
"Yes. But that is not the only reason, there are two people in this relationship, Amy," he said.
"There used to be two people," she corrected him, her hurt seeping out a little.
"Right," he said, taken aback by her words, "What I'm saying is the things you are hoping for, those lovey-dovey things that you crave so badly, they are beneath me. And frankly, I can't…I mean, I find myself unwilling to engage in them."
"Well, you've done a lot already if you ask me."
"Yeah," his said, staring distantly into space, as if remembering the things they did together.
"To be honest, Sheldon, I'm a little offended that you would think so little of my ability to wait and understand you," she countered.
"That's not what I think of you at all. Next to me, you're the most patient and understanding person I know. Hmmm, how do I say this? Let's see," he paused. "I believe the classic line is: it's not you, it's me," he declared, distracted and a little proud that he remembered the words.
"What about love then?" she continued.
"Yes, what about it?" he said, confused and really just out of sorts.
"We love each other. What are we going to do about that?"
Sheldon sighed, "Wow, we're really covering all the clichés now, aren't we?"
"Trust me, cliché is one word I would never use to describe this relationship," she snorted. "Well?"
"As the relationship of my parents show, things get in the way of love all the time. In their case, it's religion and alcohol. In ours, it's science and superior intellects. It's clearly insufficient to bind people in the long run. Or, in the parlance of romantic movies, sometimes love," he shrugged. "It just isn't enough."
At that point, Amy was already a bit mad. She could not figure out where all this came from and Sheldon appeared very insistent that they severe their bond. She could see through his tough guy pretense though and while she's not the type who easily gives up, a teeny tiny part of her was tempted to consider his argument. He could be right, she thought.
Anyway, whatever her thoughts were, it was already done.
"For a straight shooter, you sure do talk a lot," she said.
"You're the one who kept asking questions, little lady," he said, the sadness evident in his voice. They had stretched their conversation long enough.
"You could've walked out of here the moment I handed you that Ipad."
"Yes," was his simple answer. "Are we going to shake hands on this or not?" He asked although it is not something he normally does.
"Certainly." Amy said as she stood out and extended her hand to him.
"Good bye, Amy Farrah Fowler."
"Goodbye, Sheldon Lee Cooper."
They shook hands, looked at each other for a brief, charged moment and then left each other's company.
I know. The Shamy is in a happy place right now; I just want to get this out of my system. It will be a short one so happy thoughts.