Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, of course, nor the character of Rosalie (though I wish I did).
Her
I hated her. That much was obvious.
Every time I heard her exhale, heard the luscious sound of air, pure air, escape her lungs, a painful, malicious feeling went coursing through my lifeless veins. Every time I saw her chest heave up, her body filled with oxygen, I felt my fists clench and roll into balls. And then, every once in a while, I inadvertently tuned in to the consistent, rhythmic beating of her heart. The sound of it made me feel so alive, and once, I had even lifted a hand to place it on my breast, where my heart would be. I heard nothing. I heard darkness. Emptiness. The force of the realization made me want to sob. To sob broken, dry sobs.
Because I, Rosalie, could not cry. I could not feel salt water dripping down my porcelain cheeks. I could not taste the sweet, summery sensation that was strawberry ice cream (my favorite delicacy, I remembered, from my human years). My heart beat did not race when excitement, happiness, sadness, exhilaration pulsed through my body. Because I, Rosalie, was not human.
And whenever she was in our midst, I felt like she was sneering, arms crossed, a smirk on her face, her brown eyes burning into my topaz ones. And she was saying, "Look at me, Rosalie! Look at me! I have everything you long for. I have everything you agonize over. I have everything you want."
And I was also angry. Angry at Edward. For bringing her into midst, so she could leer at me, if only in my imagination.
And Carlisle and Esme were all trying to round us up, to protect her. To protect this vulnerable human who decided, willingly, to spend her free time with a group of ruthless monsters.
And my answer to such an order is, why should I bother? Why should I protect this little thing, who risks her life, anyway, every second, of every day.
Why could no one else, not even Emmett, understand what I was going through, how thoroughly this tore up my still heart?
Because I would give up anything, anything at all, to be human again. I would give up my car, my clothing, my computer, my television. My beauty. My family. And… Emmett. It's heart-wrenching, admitting these things to myself. But I can't deny them. I can't deny them one bit.
I loved everything I had. I had to, of course, my existence as a monster was blessed. I had even been granted someone who would love me, someone who could pull me out of my depression, even for a day or two.
But I could not pretend that I often disgusted myself. I hadn't eaten meat, in my life as a human. It almost made me laugh out loud, to remember such an idea. Now, I am a cursed being, who is created to suck the blood of humans.
The. Blood. Of. Humans.
If someone had spoken of such a creature, while I still had a pulsing heart, I would have had nightmares for months. I probably would have woken up screaming during a fair few.
And now, I was one. I didn't drink the blood of humans- but, animals, yes. I drank blood. Even now, a part of my mind shivers in disgust. But I can't push the thought out of my brain, as I look down on my prey, helpless and writhing for mercy.
This is you, Rosalie, the voice comes from deep within me, killing vulnerable, innocent animals, to digest their blood.
Revolting creature, I was.
And here Isabella Swan was, only having to be present to remind me of the despicable creature that I was.
A/N: I did not really expect anyone to read this. It was my mind pulsing, and, of course, I adore the character Rosalie, and I felt like her behavior could due to be explained. But, if you'd be so kind, please post a review. Thankies!