The clouds look like swirls of smoke, suffused across a light gray sky. The tall buildings, their faces composed of glass as transparent as calm water, echo the blurry clouds, surrounding the campus with a cool, melancholic dusk.
Everything around the campus seems even more lackluster, as if someone took a painting and soaked it until the color was a mere memory on the murky background.
Even many of the passersby, their faces tilted away from the pallid sky, seem to reflect the miserable day, wearing shades of black and gray, with barely any stains of brightness.
The only color comes from a petite boy, frame swallowed by a long blue pea coat, sapphire eyes glaring down at the white cigarette in his hand.
Ciel looks up, cursing under his breath at his stupidity. He glances at the passersby.
Mother, in her thirties with two toddlers. Her face looks exhausted, but she pretends to smile at her children, who don't notice. Probably doesn't have a lighter…
Elderly man, wearing a sad tweed jacket that should have been retired years ago and a scowl cold enough to be the wind. No…
Now who would…
Oh.
A man, tall and dressed all in black, walk down the sidewalk, his shoulders hunched a bit as he watches his cell phone. Long fingers, slender and dexterous, slide across the screen. In his pocket is the telltale lump of a cigarette box.
Ciel strides up to the tall man, taps him on the shoulder. When he turns, Ciel is struck by the burning heat of his gaze, warm brown eyes flickering with fiery undertones. "Pardon me, but do you happen to have a lighter?" He holds up his cigarette.
The man's eyes falls down to the sapphire eyed boy before him, his eyes narrowing when his gaze takes in the cigarette. ''Aren't you a bit too young to smoke?'' He casually looks the boy up and down, obviously taking in his petite stature and child-like face.
Ciel sighs, rolling his eyes.
Of course he'd ask that. They always do. Probably thinks I'm still in high school.
"Thank you, but I'm almost nineteen. So do you have a lighter?"
Ciel's vision swims just a bit, the man in front of him starting to seem fuzzy. Knees buckling, Ciel forces himself to stay aright, gritting his teeth.
I should probably eat… It's been about twelve hours, and I can't even remember what I had.
No, stupid. Giving up so easily? What a coward.
The man's left eyebrow raises upwards, his eyes suspicious. With a tiny sigh, he opens his black jacket to pull out his lighter, the same charcoal color. ''Here,'' He offers, handing his lighter to the boy.
Ciel takes it, murmuring his thanks as he flicks the lighter on, cupping his hand around the tiny flame and setting the tip of the cigarette alight. He then closes the lighter, polishes it on his pea coat, and passes it back. "Thank you," he sighs, then coughs. His breath rattles in his lungs, a scraping, hollow sound.
He smiles at the man's expression. "Asthma's a bitch that'll probably kill me someday." He drags another mouthful of smoke into his lungs, closing his eyes as the buildings spin around him.
The toxic blend of smoke and starvation acts like a drug, dulling his senses until the world blurs around him. Pale lips curl in a smile as he breathes out, the swirl of foggy gray drifting up to melt into the clouds. He closes his eyes, focusing on the man's voice.
Hmm… Maybe I'll pass out. How interesting.
The man watches the boy, his brows low with confusion. ''You have asthma? Smoking isn't going to make it any better, you know.'' He sighs again as he reaches for his own cigarette package, pulling out one to light as well.
"It isn't supposed to. That's not why I smoke." Ciel breathes out, watching the smoke curl above his head in soft twists like Lizzy's curls. Then he returns his attention to the man. "What are you doing here? Your company sent you to recruit college students with no other means of making money?"
The man almost chokes on the smoke as he laughs, letting the cigarette dangle between his fingers. Ciel flushes at his laughter, eyes glittering with embarrassment. ''Wow, do I look that old?'' He shakes his head slightly, looking down on his black Converse. ''No, I happen to go my senior year here. I was actually on my way back to my dorm.''
"Oh. I thought... Well." He coughs into his sleeve, rubbing the cobalt wool free from the dampness of his breath. "I would ask what you're studying, but I don't truly want to think about school right now." Taking another deep breath, he places a steadying hand against the brick wall.
The man nods in sympathy as he breathes out some smoke. ''Well, I'm majoring in foreign language and international economics.'' He lets the cigarette linger between his fingers again, eyes wandering around the building before he glances back at the boy. ''Hey… are you okay?'
Ciel leans against the wall, trying to play it casual. "Fine. I probably have to go, however. I'm double majoring, and my calculus teacher's a bitch. I…" he swallows, his knees weak as the smoke that trails from his mouth.
Oh, god. Oh, god, god, god, not now. Come on, Ciel, stay on your feet.
The boy chuckles, bringing the cigarette to his lips once more in an attempt to play off his shakiness. "I… should… oh god…" His eyes roll back as he collapses against the bricks.
''Well, this isn't exactly what I would call fine.'' The man lightly crushes the cigarette against the edge of his shoe, opening up the package to put the half-smoked cigarette back before he crouches down next to the boy. ''Hey, do you hear me?''
Ciel shakes his head, slowly regaining himself. "Damn... Excuse me, I… Ugh. I think I need to eat. I'll just head back to my dorm." He pulls himself upright, holding the wall like he's a newborn just learning to walk.
Idiot. He might ask to walk you back.
''Your dorm is pretty close from here, right?'' The man quickly asks as he stands up in front of the boy. ''Please, allow me to help you get back safe. Besides, you can barely stand straight without support.'' He gestures towards the boy's small, pale hands clutching the wall.
Ciel begins to protest, then gives a sheepish smirk. "You know, I have a feeling that if I refuse, you'll heave me over your shoulder and carry me to my room. It's pretty close, although you should call the campus medical center. Tell them Ciel had a hypoglycemic attack. They... they know me quite well." He reaches out, grabbing the man's shoulder for support.
''I'm going to walk you back, alright?'' The man places a hand around the boy's waist, cradling most of his weight. ''I have nothing better to do right now anyway.'' He glances down on the boy, frowning a bit. ''You just need to eat something, right? If so, then I don't think there's any need to call the medical center.''
"I know one of the girls who works at the medical center. She wants to know when I… do this." Ciel sighs, taking a step. He grits his teeth, trying to keep himself upright by willpower alone. "Lizzy keeps a record of my levels since I never remember to. It's for my file." Ciel pats his pocket. "My phone's there, if you need it."
The man nods a bit, reaching into Ciel's pocket to pull the phone free. Even the seemingly insignificant weight feels like a thousand pounds lifted from his hip. ''I guess I'll call then.'' The phone buzzes softly as he taps Lizzy's profile, dialing. As usual, Lizzy picks up within seconds, her rather squeaky voice making Sebastian jump, his hip smacking Ciel's side.
Ciel smirks a little, resting his head against Sebastian's arm. ''No, um… this is not Ciel.'' He glances a bit toward the boy, still holding firmly around his thin waist. ''Doesn't really matter… I'm calling for him. He told me to tell you that he's had one of his hypoglycemic attacks again.'' The man glances down again, nodding slightly at whatever Lizzy's saying as he watches Ciel's eyes. ''Hey, she wants to talk to you.''
Nodding, Ciel takes the phone, wincing when the girl begins talking in her usual overbearing tone. "No… No, I'm fine, Lizzy. I just feel a little under the weather. Uhm, no, I do not need you to… no, Lizzy it's fine, you don't…" He sighs, placing the phone in his coat pocket again. "She's coming to pick us up."
''Oh, okay.'' The man rubs the back of his head, a touch awkward. ''So, do you need to sit down? There's some benches right here.'' He points to his right at a few empty spots, already half-dragging Ciel toward them.
Ciel nods, still clutching the man's coat. He notices a slight scent of cloves. "So… what's your name?" He rests on the bench, legs giving out the moment before he sits. He releases the man's coat as he settles.
The black clad man sits down next to him, his eyes wandering around the rather stressed students. Ciel follows his gaze, watching girls with half-filled coffee cups stumble into the daylight, squinting against the weak, lemon-colored sun rays. ''Sebastian.'' He answers, glancing back at the boy beside him.
Ciel smirks. "Got a last name? I mean, you do know mine." He pulls out his phone again, texting Lizzy to ask her to pick up some food for him.
She responds within seconds, as she always does. As she always has, from the moment she kissed him and told him she wanted to be with him always.
You ruined her dreams. But then again, that's what you do.
Sebastian curiously peeks down on Ciel's phone, seeming to have forgotten that the boy had asked him a question.
Ciel turns his phone away, giving the man an odd look. He blinks, then stutters, ''Oh, yeah, Michaelis. Sebastian Michaelis.''
"Wait… Sebastian Michaelis? As in, the one in economics with Mey Rin? That's odd… I thought you'd be taller, from how she went on about you."
A small, canary yellow car pulls up, barely missing the curb. A blonde girl, tiny frame swaddled in soft pink scrubs, climbs out of the car with a scowl, her eyes locked on Ciel.
"Ciel Phantomhive, you'd better have a pretty good explanation!" Her bright green eyes snap at the two.
Ciel smiles, the expression cutting across his features, feeling as fake as he is. "Ah. Sebastian Michaelis, meet Lizzy. My ex."
Sebastian brings his hand up to his hair, scratching through the raven locks with a slightly confused expression on his face. "Oh… hello.''
He stands from the bench, eyes flickering on the blonde girl facing him before looking back down to Ciel, who remains slumped against the bench. ''Then, should I go now? I mean, since your help arrived…"
"No, you're fine. Uhm… actually…" Lizzy squints at him, curling a ringlet around her finger. "If you're not busy… can you help me get Ciel to the car? He shouldn't be walking." She walks over to him, taking one of his hands to test his blood with a glucose monitor.
Ciel hisses as the needle jabs his finger, looking up to find Sebastian watching Lizzy intently. "Sorry to drag you into this, by the…"
"Ciel…" Lizzy breaks in, her face tight. Ciel looks down at his lap. "Your levels are at 35. Any more time and you would have been comatose. Again."
Sebastian glances between them for a few moments before he breaks their conversation. ''Alright… so can we take him to the car now?'' He grabs the boy's arm and places it over his shoulder, lifting him into his arms. ''Wow, you literally weight nothing.''
Ciel rolls his eyes, blushing. "We can't all be giants like you. Besides, you don't need to carry me as if I'm a princess."
Sebastian chuckles a bit as he walks towards the car. ''It's much easier like this, you know. I don't really mind.''
Ciel looks back helplessly at Lizzy, who follows them quickly. "So… Are you two…" she begins, glancing between them.
The boy gives her a shocked glance. "What? No, of course not, Lizzy. We just met." He rolls his eyes, not daring to gauge Sebastian's reaction. "All right, you can put me in the backseat, thank you."
Sebastian's eyes widen a bit, but he quickly nods as he carefully puts the boy down on his feet to open the car door. ''Do you think you could let me go now?'' Sebastian lets out a rather nervous and suppressed laugh as his eyes wanders to the blonde. ''I mean, we're strangers, there's no point in me being here, really.'' He quickly glances down at his watch. ''Besides, I have to go somewhere soon.''
"Why are you nervous? I mean, it's not like you two are together." Lizzy's smiles have become sweet, her hand lingering on Sebastian's arm. "Besides, Ciel is rather heavy… and his dorm is on the third floor."
Ciel sighs loudly. "Let the man go, Lizzy, flirting with him won't make me jealous. Besides, I'm not an invalid. I can walk."
The girl whirls on him. "Ciel Phantomhive, I don't want to hear another word. You are going to rest, and take it easy, and eat. And I am going to stay with you and make sure you follow my orders!"
"You can't. You have a date with Finny tonight, remember?"
Lizzy scowls, then looks at Sebastian, her eyelids dropping to half-mast. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" Ciel snorts at her falsely honeyed tones.
''Yeah… sure.'' Sebastian follows the girl until she suddenly stops, turning around to him. ''Well?''
"Could... I haven't known you for long… But… I need someone to watch Ciel." Lizzy nibbles her lip. "He… he's been doing this a lot. 'Forgetting' to eat, passing out… I need someone to watch him, at least for tonight. To make sure he doesn't hurt himself." Lizzy curls a lock of hair around her forefinger.
Sebastian stands still for a second, his mouth opening and closing before he starts. ''Well… yeah, I guess I could do that.'' He smiles gently at her. ''As long as he's good with it, I mean I'm just a stranger to him… and you.''
Lizzy giggles, her head tilting. Ciel can imagine the sweet, soft look coming over her eyes that always seems to sway men to her side. "Oh, he'll be fine with it! He pretends not to like people but he does, I can tell."
All right, time to break it up. My god.
Ciel calls over to them, his voice irritated. "Have you two eloped or am I invited to the wedding?" The car door squeaks as he climbs out, walking over with a regal expression. "So, she's roped you into Ciel-sitting, has she."
''Yeah, seems like it. I guess you'll have to bear with my presence tonight.'' Sebastian chuckles. ''So, are you able to walk back to your dorm then? Or would you rather want to be carried?''
"Carried, obviously. Like a princess." Ciel rolls his eyes, turning to walk away.
Hearing the man's sigh behind him, Ciel turns to say farewell to Lizzy but she's already in her car. She disappears with a tiny puff of exhaust, the little yellow car glinting in the sunlight.
''Hey, Ciel!''
Ciel raises an eyebrow, turning to glance at Sebastian as he jogs next to him. "Need something? I'm about as thrilled you're supposed to watch me as you are." He rubs his forehead softly, wincing. "If you want, you can simply go home and I'll tell Lizzy you stayed."
''You're not getting rid of me that easily.'' Sebastian glances down at him. ''Besides, knowing that you're not taking care of yourself… I believe this is for the best.''
The boy rolls his eyes, tugging at the collar of his coat.
Lord, it's freezing. I hate winters here. Much too cold, with all this snow.
"Whatever. It was an accident, all right? And what are you, my mother?"
Sebastian shakes his head a bit as he smiles. ''No, I'm not. I just care, that's all.''
"Right." Ciel coughs out a laugh, his voice raspy from the cold air and the smoke.
Sebastian narrows his eyes a bit as he glances down at the boy. ''You don't believe me?''
"You just met me. You can't care about me yet," Ciel shrugs, burrowing deeper into his jacket. "Besides, people tend to dislike me, for various reasons. Lord, it's freezing."
''Really? I don't think it's that cold…'' He looks up from the boy, eyes wandering around the campus they're walking through. ''We're soon at your dorm anyways, aren't we?''
"Yeah. It's that building." Ciel points to the far one, a dark grayish-yellow with scorch marks along the foundation. "I live on the third floor. We'll have to take the stairs because the maintenance man, Bard, never can get the elevator working. I don't know why he thinks taking a blowtorch to the gears will help, but apparently he does."
''Alright.'' As they reach the building, Sebastian opens the door for Ciel before he walks inside. ''Better take it slow then, so that you won't pass out again.''
"Oh, please. It was just an accident.' Ciel rolls his eyes, bounding up the stairs.
''Well, if you say so.'' Sebastian's footsteps echo on the metal stairs, each step sounding like a thousand-pound weight.
"What, are you calling me a liar?" Ciel pauses, having to breathe heavily against the railing.
''No, not at all.''
Ciel straightens the moment Sebastian looks at him, hurrying up another flight of stairs. "So... I suppose I should give you dinner. Uhm... slight problem with that."
''Let me guess, you can't cook?'' He smiles proudly. ''You're lucky, because I happen to be one hell of a cook.''
"I can cook fine… well…" Ciel rubs his head. "Sort of. I can make toast. But I don't actually have any food." He walks up the steps again. "But now I want to taste your cooking. Lovely."
''Oh, well… that's a shame.'' They reach the top of the stairs, now standing in front of Ciel's door. It's a rather boring thing, with few dents to mark the passing and going of generations of students and no mat to distinguish it from the countless others on the row. ''Do you want me to go buy something, then?''
"No, it's fine. I don't usually keep food around the place."
I don't like to have the temptation.
"I forget it's there and it goes bad." Ciel smiles sheepishly, hoping he doesn't look fake.
''Oh, alright.''
Ciel quickly unlocks the door, both walking inside. Sebastian beings to open up his jacket as his eyes roam around the room.
Ciel bites his lip, pulling his coat off and throwing it into the closet. "You can sit anywhere. I know it's rather a wreck… I've been busy." He thinks, rubbing his head still harder. "Uhm… do you want… coffee or…" he shakes his head, trying to clear his dizziness.
''Sure, sure.'' Sebastian slings his jacket over his arm
"Err… Right. I should… probably not get up because I'm about to collapse again." Ciel digs his fingernails into his palms. "I… think I ought to… get something to eat. Finny keeps a box of reserve protein bars in the closet."
''I'll get you one, then.'' Sebastian walks up to the closet, rooting around a bit until he finds said box. ''Here you go…''
Ciel takes it, ripping the shiny wrapper with a series of delicate tears. He then breaks the bar into bite-sized pieces, relishing the taste of chocolate and cherries. "Thanks. Sorry about this. You must think me a fool."
''No, not really.'' Sebastian glances towards the boy, giving him a reassuring smile. ''You alright?''
'Fine." Ciel begins pulling his boots off. "Sit down, if you want."
Sebastian nods a bit as he sits down on the edge of the bed with a small sigh. ''I might not stay all too long, but I guess you're okay with that.''
Ciel shrugs. "I actually am going out anyways. I have to work."
''Alright.'' He nods, trying to think of something to say. ''Where do you work?''
Ciel actually smiles now, his eyes growing soft. "The music hall. I accompany. Tonight I'm playing with a girl who has a major in classical voice. She's singing Mozart's Der Liebe himmlisches Gefühl."
''Oh, really?'' Sebastian's lips turns into an enthusiastic smile, eyes slightly widening in interest. ''That's really cool. I play music too. In a band, actually.''
Ciel's eyebrows shoot up. "Honestly? What kind of music?" He begins to smile even bigger.
''Well, mostly alternative rock…'' Sebastian can't help but to stare at Ciel's sapphire eyes. ''Although I'm personally interested in all types of genres, really.''
"I'd love to hear you. Do you play or sing?" He scoots closer to the man, gesturing to a keyboard. "If you sing, I could accompany you."
''Both, actually.'' He smiles, eyes wandering to the keyboard. ''Yeah, sure.''
"Lovely. Do you know The Light Behind My Eyes?" Ciel sits down, quickly playing the melody.
''Oh yes, I do.'' Sebastian smiles. ''Actually, it's one of my favorite songs.'' He watches as the boy's fingers softly press against the keys.
Ciel, focusing on the keyboard, almost misses the beginning strains, the slow build of the music sending a delicious shiver up his spine.
"So long to all my friends,
Every one of them met tragic ends.
With every passing day,
I'd be lying if I didn't say,
That I miss them all tonight.
And if they only knew what I would say, if I—''
Sebastian's voice, powerful but soft, fills the no-longer-silent room along with the keyboard. He continues to watch Ciel's moving fingers as he sings, every now and then letting his gaze wander from the keyboard to the boy's now peaceful face.
"— could be with you, tonight,
I would sing you to sleep,
Never let them take the light behind your eyes.
One day I'll lose this fight,
As we fade in the dark,
Just remember you will always burn as bright—"
Ciel tilts his head back, no longer smiling but still maintaining an air of absolute peace. He slowly begins to improvise, the melody wrapping around Sebastian's voice like velvet, playing off his deeper voice with counterbalanced lighter pitches. Without warning, he executes a long run, fingers flying across the glossy keys.
Sebastian sings the last verse of the song, his now rather dry mouth causing his voice to slightly break at the end. ''Sorry,'' he coughs, letting out a small chuckle. ''I must say, you play really well. I enjoyed this.''
"I did also. Your voice is incredible." Ciel walks to his sink, pouring the man a glass of water and handing it over. "We should do it again sometime."
Sebastian smiles as he takes the glass, taking a small sip from it. ''Yeah, sure.''
Ciel smiles, then curses softly. "Fuck, I'm late to work. Thank you for the song, but I really have to go."
''No worries.'' Sebastian puts on his jacket again, getting ready to leave.
Ciel smiles, walking the man to the door. Once the door is closed behind him, the smile drops off his face.
I wonder if I'll ever see him again.