This is what would happen In Breaking Dawn if Emmett opened his big mouth. Takes place in chapter 36. Here's a little poem 4 u.

Roses are red

My eyes are blue

I don't own Twilight

And neither do you

It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer

And if you say it is yours

I will put you in a bacon fryer.

There they were, the Volturi, including the wives. The came with a kind of beauty. They moved together but not in a march; they flowed in perfect synchronicity from the trees-a dark, unbroken shape that seemed to hover above the white snow, so sooth was the advance.

We all knew that there was going to be a fight and we were not excited about it. I looked at my daughter while wondering if she would be happy with Jacob and if I would ever be able to see either of them again. I looked at Edward who was staring at the unwelcome vampires confronting us. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened my eyes and looked at the immortals in front of me.

……….

"So, this child is half mortal, half immortal. Am I right?" Demetri, who was standing in the front, asked.

"You are correct," replied Carlisle.

"It is still to dangerous for this girl to live, so it is decided, we kill this child.

"No," said Emmett. "We're not finished here until the fat lady sings! Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to bring yo mama into this.

"What did you just say about my mommy?" Demetri asked.

"You heard me!" Emmett shouted. Carlisle sighed.

"Well, yo mama is so fat that she fell in love and broke it!" Demetri shouted.

" So that's how you want to play cause I got a lot of Emmett madness for you, baby!" Emmett shouted back.

"Yo mama's so fat that when she was picking out a house, she had to have 5 rooms, one for her underclothing, one for her pants, one for her shirts and two for her!" Said Demetri.

"Yo mama's so fat that when she broke her leg, gravy spilt out!" Emmett.

"Yo mama's so fat that her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs!" Demetri.

"Yo mama's so fat that her neck is a pack of hotdogs!" I looked over to Edward who looked like he was trying not to laugh. I looked back at Emmett and Demetri and listened to what they were saying.

"Yo mama's so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks!" Emmett said as he took a step closer to Demetri. I looked over to Rose who looked really embarrassed. I tried not to laugh.

"Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse." Demetri looked really angry now.

"Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, she is fat!" Emmett shouted.

"Yo mama is so fat that she would be fat even if that made sense, stupid." Demetri said. Rose looked really embarrassed now.

"Yo mama's so stupid that she put a dictionary on the tv and called it high definition." Emmett said. He wasn't ready to back down.

"Yo mama's so stupid that when your dad said that it was chili outside, she ran outside with a spoon." Demetri said with a smile.

"Well, maybe she was hungry!" Emmett shouted back. I just rolled my eyes.

"Yo mama's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head so she can make-up her mind!" Demetri shouted. "Beat that!"

"Um, yo mama's teeth are so yellow that I can't believe it's not butter!" Emmett shouted really loud.

"Ok, you win. I'm out of here." Demetri shook his head, turned around and left. Everyone else on his side followed him. We all waited until they were out of range and we all started cheering. Renesmee was safe and she nor Jacob had to leave. We were all expecting a fight but not like this. I hugged my daughter and husband and I smiled.

So, I know it wasn't great but I had to right it down. Please review!!!