Set Me Free
Silver hair. Silver eyes. Pale white skin. None of it looked ordinary in front of these villagers. He hung his head low, not wanting to look at the disgusted faces from people around him. Murmurs and whispers could be heard clearly, saying that he will bring disaster if he wasn't disposed, that he's the bad luck bringer. He heard one of the man saying about selling him to the black market, and he will be a great interest on a circus. That way, the village will gain a lot of money.
Ah, what did he do in his life to deserve this? He wondered.
"Sugawara-san! Look look! I made a crane!" A small boy with bright orange hair ran to him, waving a small crane shaped paper in his hand. Sugawara smiled and he took the boy in his hand, lifting him from the ground. "I like cranes!" The boy shouted once more and the older male let out a small laugh.
"That's great, Shoyo. Now, can you teach Tobio and the other? You are the master of making crane!"
The dark orange colored eyes sparkled at the title and Shoyo nodded fastly. Sugawara placed him back to the ground, and the boy energetically run to the circle where his friends sat down. A boy with deep black hair blushed a bit when Shoyo explained, then he immediately folded the paper, not wanting to lose. The silver haired man smiled at the lovely sight, wanting to drown himself more in the warmth the kids gave him.
He leaned his back to the wall, tilting his head upwards while closing his eyes. It's a simple gesture, and he always did it whenever he thought of something that will hurt his heart. He made this orphanage to help kids and somehow he managed to get them survived even though he was low on a cash. Well, not anymore. He finally managed to find a job that would suit him. That's what he thought. He looked downward and to the kids, then a small smile wrapped around his face.
Looking at those adorable smiles and laughs soothe his already fragile heart. He always feel a small ray of hope whenever the kids come to him, calling his name and even helped him around.
He wanted it to last forever.
But eventually, the kids will grow into and adult, he also will age. The sadness came to him like a suffocating wave and he clenched his eyes shut.
"I can't be like this. I can't. I need to be strong."
The words already whispered to himself over, and over again, as if it was a spell that will slowly toughen up his heart, body, and mind. His eyes snapped open at the loud knocking sound over the door by the entrance, and he ran to open it.
"Suga, I brought you some lunch- wait, why are you crying!? Did those bastards came and threaten you again!? Darn those villagers-"
"N-no! Daichi-san! I'm sorry! It's not that. Something's been weighing my mind lately. I didn't realized that I cried. Sorry to worry you."
"Let's go inside. Talk to me about that, 'kay? I will help to lay out the futon so kids could have their naps."
This man, Daichi-san, is the only one that helped him around the orphanage. At noon, his work shift ended and he will come by to bring the lunch, lay our the futons for the kids, and he even helped to clean around the place whenever he's on his day off. Daichi never once complained, never once he turned his back again Sugawara, and that made the silver haired man wondered. Is it okay to have this gentle person on his side? Is it okay if he keep helping around the orphanage? He could lost his current job, and they might end up kicked out of the village. Sugawara doesn't want that. Daichi is a very kind man, and he doubt nothing will come out good if he's involved with Sugawara.
After all, he's the bad luck bringer.
"You've been spaced out lately. What's wrong?" Daichi said after he told the kids to get some nap. The taller male had a small trouble since some of the kids doesn't want to sleep, but with a small help from the story telling, they finally get their nap in peace.
Sugawara exhaled a shaky breath, his hand moving around the pillow and hugged them tightly. "You know, I keep thinking on how scary if this kids will grow up and leave me. I guess, it will be lonely." That's not it. He won't cry over something so simple, but that's one of the reason why he had been gloomy. Good things that the kids didn't saw it.
"Hmm.." Daichi stared at him and patted the silver haired man's head. "That can't be helped. People come and go, but I bet you my ten years life, that this kids won't forget you. I'm sure they will keep coming here, bringing a lot of food for you." The smile was so warm that Sugawara almost melted by it. He nodded, and they laid next to each other, finally getting their own shut eye.
His body hurts, sticky, sweaty, and he feels disgusting. Clanking sound from someone buckled their belts filled his ears and made his head hurts. Some money was thrown over his bruised and tired body, and he could hear they're mocking at him. Slowly, he went up and gathered the scattered papers around the bed, placing them neatly on his discarded pants pocket. Hands shaking from the fear, and the fatigue, but when his eyes caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror...
Tears fell down.
"Ne.. Sugawara-san, are you okay?"
He blinked his eyes open and orange color filled his range of view. Shoyo sat on his lap, holding out a book that he promised to read to the kids. Sugawara gave the boy an apologetic look, his hand reached out to take the book from those tiny arms. "Come on, lay on your futon and I will read it." He smiled at the sight those kids went under the cover and lay comfortably.
Sugawara opened his mouth and started to read the story. His heart was a bit uneasy since Daichi didn't come at lunch, but that wasn't new. There was some times where the dark haired man didn't go to the orphanage. Usually because his shift was extended, or if he need to cover someone else's part. The taller man will come to orphanage at midnight and went to sleep over.
But today, he wasn't feeling that good. There's this kind of weird, and heavy feelings that keeps looming over him. Something's not right. He should've give Daichi a call-
"Suga, you in? I'm coming inside."
He almost shut the book with a force at the familiar sound, but no, he didn't, instead of damaging the innocent book, he sighed in relieve and went to the door after checking if the kids already sleeping. He saw Daichi taking off his shoes in the entrance and he crouched next to him. "Where've you been? It's past lunchtime." The taller man gave him a smile and they fell silent until Daichi finished removing his shoes.
"Sorry, I was caught in a small commotion at my work place. Someone stole the money from chief's room, and I need to settle things down. Good things, the thief was caught." Sugawara listened to the explanation, nodding his head in a understanding manner. Thank God, his bad feeling was nothing. It would be very bad if something horrible happened to Daichi. "Oh.." he lifted his head to look at Daichi. "I brought a curry meatbuns as an apology, let's eat together."
"You slut! Suck my dick like a whore! I don't need your tears!"
Ah, it hurts. His throat feels like it was burning, his jaw ached, and he could feel the corner of his mouth starting to rip. How long is he gonna do this? How long does he need to act like this? He could feel tears streaming down his cheeks for these last hours, and the pain from knife digging on his back earlier made him feel like he could faint anytime.
Daichi..
Daichi...
Help me..
"Please, I told you I already paid for this month rent. I beg you please don't do anything." Sugawara cried out, begging on his knees at the men who currently ripping down his windows and doors. It doesn't even make any sense! He paid the rent! He paid the gas, water, and electricity bills already! Why did they do this?
From the corner of his eyes, he could see the kids hiding behind the wall, sobbing and even crying out loud, screaming that they're scared. Sugawara realized his begging fell deaf over these men's ears, so he decided to take the kids into his room, the place which haven't been destroyed yet. It took a while for him to calm them down, hushing them with a low voice and reassuring them that everything will be fine, even though he knew it won't. But right now, he could bear to see the kids get hurt.
He's the only parent they have. And they are his only family he have.
The heartbreaking noises of people tearing down the front of his house finally stopped. Sugawara lifted his head to look around and he realized that those men already left the place. Relief rushed over him, and the kids ran to hug him. Poor children. Maybe... he need to find a place for them anytime soon. Sooner... faster..
That day, Sugawara cried in his sleep, along with the kids that sleep around him like a protective barrier.
"YOU BASTARD!"
"Daichi! Don't!"
It was too late. Daichi's fist made a contact with the Mayor's face with a sickening crunch. Sugawara winced and he ran over the taller man, pulling him back outside, though Daichi won't move a single inch away from the place he's standing right now. "He paid the rent! He paid everything! Why did you keep hurting him!? Why did you told your men to destroy the orphanage!? He's helping those parentless kids! Dammit, you sick old pig!" The silver haired man's hand loosened around Daichi's, and he hung his head low.
"He- he's not normal! He brought disaster to this village a-a-and he's a whore! He sold his body to that bandits every night and it's a disgrace to this village!"
No. Don't tell Daichi about this. Please. Sugawara begged from the back of his head. He trembled at the Mayor's word, and at how Daichi's eyes widen at the explanation. The dark haired man turned around to look at him with his eyes wide. "Suga, explain all of this. Is that...true?" Sugawara wanted to scream out a 'NO', but sadly, all the mayor's words are true. Yes, he sold his body. He's a disgrace. No wonder if people wants to kick him out.
He gathered a courage to look at Daichi, but soon it crumbled. Disappointment clearly shown on those onyx colored eyes and the man turned away from him. Sugawara clenched his fist and muttered "I'm sorry". He left the place with heart slowly crumbling down. He ran to the bridge by the river, and then he stopped. The sky looked dark in his eyes, and he let out a desperate chuckle. What can he said to those innocent children? They don't have anymore place to live, they don't have anyone to rely on. HE doesn't have anyone to trust him anymore.
Grey colored eyes fogged by a deep sorrow and he wishes that everything would just end.
"Daichi, I will only tell this to you."
"Yeah you should. It's not healthy to keep it inside."
"I know. I was born from a small family at the end of the town. My family is warm and I lived happily."
"Ehh.. that sounds nice."
"Yeah, but it doesn't last long. After the war, my father disappeared, and my mother went into a depression. The debt keep pilling up and my mother doesn't have any other choice than selling herself. I know that she's very stressed about that, but, I want to help her. So I decided to make something that I could sell. She ignored it at first, but when I told her that I made money by selling foods, she suddenly got angry and yelled at me. Saying that she wouldn't sell herself if I told about that to her earlier, and I realized that I was the one at fault.."
"Suga.. it's not your fault-"
"It wasn't. But I felt guilty. Soon I knew that my father left me because he never loved me from the start. I was born with weird hair and eye color and my father was told by the doctor that I'm unusual. Maybe...people around us was telling something bad and he couldn't take it. And maybe my mother remembered that. She became very abusive verbally and pyshically to me. But I didn't resist it. If...if that will made her love me like her son again.. I..don't mind."
"Hey, don't cry. It was the past. Now you have me, right?"
"Yeah.. Daichi, I have you."
"Now, let's work together!"
"Waaaaah! Suga..hic..wara-saaaaan. Wake up!"
"Waaaaaaaaah!"
Shoyo shook the cold shoulders with his little strength, trying to make the silver haired man open his eyes once more. But, no matter how hard they cried, no matter how hard they shouted, it's already over for Sugawara. The will to never give up went away along his will to keep living. His body already cold and his heart beating very slowly. All he could hear was Shoyo calling out to him. He could faintly heard Tobio crying next to his body. Ah, but, even if he want to get up, he can't.
Blood loss.
One thing that crossed his mind was to end this all by ending his life. He was assured that the kids will be on Daichi's hand, and the taller man could get them to a safe place. But him? He doesn't belong anywhere. Daichi turned his back on Sugawara, and that was enough for him.
Ah, his life won't matter. The rest of them could live happily later on, and they doesn't have to be scared by having a disaster bringer by their side.
He felt really sleepy, but, he wanted to hear Daichi's voice one more time.
"Suga!"
Yeah..that voice.
"Sugawara! Don't die on me!"
It's really nice.
"Dammit! I'm taking you to doctor! Kids! Pack your bags! And gimme some cloth! Quick!"
Why are you so desperate, Daichi? Calm down, it's all over.
"You will be fine, you will be fine. Please, I beg you. Suga..."
"Suga..."
I'm sleepy. Good night, Daichi.
A/N
Curse me and angst. But worry not, 5 reviews for a sequel. I mean it '3'