Disclaimer: Leah Clearwater and characters related to the Twilight books are property of Stephanie Meyer, and those from Firefly belong to Joss Whedon. This crossover is just a product of way too much sugar, and no offense is by any means meant....please don't sue...I have no money to give.
Chapter 1
Stretching her arms out, she rolled onto her back and looked up at the sky. Never before had she slept so well, as she had last night. Usually the voices of her pack members keep her awake, but as she woke up she noted something was strange...There were no voices....everything was silent.
Sitting up she looked around her in shock and wonder. She was in a completely foreign setting. Sand. Cactus. Sand. Rocks. Sand. Endless sky...Sand?
Wherever she was-it wasn't Forks or the Quileute reserve.
Standing up she realized that she was completely naked-this was not abnormal-after a night of patrolling the forest, it was not unusual for her to drop in her tracks and shift back to her human form during her slumber. However usually she had some form of clothing tied to her ankle...
Being naked in the forest was one thing, but being completely exposed in the desert was another. At least in the cover of the forest there was some privacy.
Deciding that she couldn't very well stand around forever, she decided to shape shift and run home. But after several attempts she discovered that she could not change into her faster and furrier form...it was inevitable...she would have to walk to find civilization....
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After looking around herself, she realized that there was no way to tell which direction would take her to what she was looking for...clothing, food, shelter, water, and more importantly answers.
So she decided to spin counter clockwise for several moments and then walk in which ever direction she stopped. After getting over the dizziness caused by her twirling solution, she walked in that direction for several days.
During her journey she came across rock, sand, scorpions, snakes and hallucinatory lakes...but no people.
Finally though...she saw a town on the horizon....with a new found enthusiasm for life she staggered toward it determined to get something to wear.
----An Imaginary Message from a Not-For-Profit Organization Pleading For Your Cash Here-----
When she arrived in town, no one immediately offered to help her, they just stared in wonder and confusion at the dirty, naked female staggering around. Mother's covering their children's and husband's eyes, while shooting speculative glances at her. Unattached men gawked in a mix of confusion and lust.
She stopped walking and just stood waiting for someone to offer her some assistance. However she had to wait until the Sheriff stepped out of his office to find out what caused the sudden and uncharacteristic silence in the town. As soon as he laid his eyes on her, he rushed out of the office to escort her off the street.
Hesitantly he asked: "Mam, why ain't you dressed?"
Looking around her, she took in the appearance of the observers, and that of the sheriff, immediately decided that a lie would be much simpler to explain than the truth...not that she fully knew what the truth was.
"Well ya see sir... I was robbed and set loose in the desert. The men made me strip down and then they stole my clothes-I have nothing and no idea where I am," she replied attempting to imitate his southern accent.
The sheriff examined her for a moments and said, "Well I'm shore glad they didn't kill ya, I know exactly whom ya are talkin' 'bout. It's the fifth time in ten yars they've gone and done the same thang! Don't you worry none, miss I'll take you over to the "Tasty Tavern" down the street, it's a restaurant, bar, and hotel. I'll introduce you to the owner, get ya a room and some clothes."
As the sheriff walked towards the door, she hesitated to follow, "Sir, I don't suppose you have something I could wear? I really don't want to walk through town nude again..."
"Uh...of course....sorry bout that...here ya go...try this..." the Sheriff said. Handing her a trench coat he blushed and turned around. "By the way...while you're coverin' up, my name is Sheriff West, and this here planet is called Charity Falls. Where do you hail from?"
Warily she replied: "I know my name, but not much more-I must have bumped my head...anyways, it's Leah Clearwater"
---Imaginary Commercial Break, "Don't Forget to Vote, and We Won't Forget To Ignore It"-----
Leah walked with the Sheriff down the street and into the largest building and shook hands with the owner, who offered her a bath, room, clothing, free meals, and a job. He said his name was Mr. Cummins, and he quickly was becoming her favourite person in the world.
When the Sheriff left, Mr. Cummins led Leah to her room and showed her were she could bathe. Promising his wife would lay out some clothing on her bed.
Leah sat in the bath and relished the feeling of coming clean. As soon as she had removed every speck of filth from her body, she put on the robe, left by Mr Cummins, went to her room, dressed in a modest dress and then went downstairs for dinner.
When she entered the establishment's dinning room, Mrs. Cummins introduced herself and brought Leah some food. "Here ya go, Miss Clearwater. You're a mighty good looking lady-reckon you'll fit in with the other girls. After you're done eatin', you can go upstairs and get ready for tonight...I hope the outfit will fit. You are a little thinner than the last girl."
"Outfit?" Leah asked with a gulp.
"Didn't Mr. Cummins tell ya that you would be workin' the bar as a show gal?" Mrs. Cummins innocently asked. "We naturally assumed you could sing and dance, because everyone who has been robbed by the same bandits that robbed you, has been an experienced show gal. You can sing and dance can't ya?"
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At this point she wasn't too concerned about where she was...that was not the immediate problem...judging from the people she had encountered so far, Leah presumed that she was in an alternate universe, or had time traveled into the past. The bigger issue was what she would sing...she seriously doubted that the audience would be impressed by her dressing in the sequined dress and performing her Quileute native chants.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she admitted that her body was fit and toned-not entirely unattractive. And since her childhood she always was the female lead in the school musicals. So her voice and dancing wasn't entirely awful...
After squeezing into the uncomfortable dress, Leah made her way downstairs into the parlour, where she would perform in a few hours. Fortunately the pianist was there too...
"You must be the new performer. My name is Danny, I play the piano," a guy little over twenty said. He had tousled black hair, and a very innocent looking face.
"Ya. The name's Leah Clearwater. A little nervous about tonight, not sure what you guys expect, " she said blushing.
"Don't worry about it. We have an hour to practise. Here are your lyrics", Danny replied, handing Leah a sheet of paper.
" "Ruby Tuesday", "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", "Hit Me Baby One More Time"? " Leah said with shock and relief.
"Yep the standard" Danny answered. "Now let's start with "Ruby Tuesday"...It's a crowd favourite. "
-------Imaginary Commercial Break, "Warning You May Have An STD"-------------------------
Leah felt relieved, she sang her three songs and then she was done for the night. Best of all, she hadn't messed up on any of the lines and the crowd applauded. If only her pack could see her now. Unfortunately though, after her performance she had to be nice to the men playing poker, and drinking beer. Sitting on laps, laughing at bad jokes and graciously accepting bad tasting alcoholic beverages was also part of the job. By ten o'clock she was ready for bed, but the owner wouldn't let her retire to her room until 2am when the parlour closed.
At five after ten, a group came into the bar. One woman and two men with guns, they asked to see the owner, so she took them into the back where Mr. Cummins was getting a bottle of whiskey.
"Hey, Cummins. Have your liquid order. Did a job and I expect to get paid now, " said a tall man with dark hair.
"Mal! It's been a while. Sure, I have your cash-I'll just go upstairs and get it. Make yourself at home," turning to Leah, he said, "Leah, why don't you take these gentlemen-and-er-the lady into the parlour...get them a drink-whatever they want is on the house."
As she led the group into the parlour, she overheard their whispering.
"But what if this is a trick?" the other man said.
"Jayne, BEE-Jway", the man called Mal replied.
"I hate to admit it, Sir, but something just seems off, if you don't mind me saying", the tall gorgeous women said.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" Leah asked when they were all seated.
"Just water, please" Mal replied.
"Speak for yourself. He said on the house. Bring me two glasses, a bottle of whiskey and your company" the man called Jayne replied.
Leah did as they bid, and then sat on Jayne's lap when he pulled her down on top of him. Cummins brought the money, and the group began to relax.
Soon Jayne started buying Leah drinks, and she quickly became drunk. The last thing she remembered was dancing with the man known as Jayne, and the feeling of being carried up a staircase.
-------Imaginary Commercial Break, Protect Your Home With More Than Just a Doberman-------
When she opened her eyes, she discovered that she should have closed the drapes tighter the night before. The sun tore at her retinas and movement made her want to die. All the alcohol she had consumed the night before, now worked to give her a mean hangover.
Turning away from the window, she beheld an even more frightening sight beside her...a strange man....naked...in her bed...screaming she jumped out of bed, and glared at him....the strange man, startled sat up and looked around, clasping a gun.
"Ta ma duh!!!" the man exclaimed, then patting his gun and putting it under his pillow he said, "It's okay Vera. No reason to get upset".
"Who are you?" Leah asked.
"Jayne. Remember...from last night?" the man said.
"Not really....did we?" she shuddered, as blurred memories started to return.
To be continued....