Title: Why You Don't Talk Shit About the Commander
Summary: Filled prompt for the st_xi_kink_meme. Don't care how, why, where or when, I just want Kirk kicking a Vulcan in the nuts.
Pairings: Pre-K/S if you squint.
Rating: PG
Warnings: References to Vulcan Genital Anatomy and jerk Vulcans.
Kirk didn't really know what he was doing until Spock's hands were on his shoulders, pulling him away from the Vulcan now crippled on the floor. His entire right foot tingled with the familiar sensation of connecting with flesh. Spock was pulling him away and surprisingly he wasn't fighting to continue the fight. The surrounding Vulcans all stared at him, their eyebrows raised straight into their hairlines. The only Vulcans who didn't looked appalled were Spock's father and grandmother, Sarek and T'Pau. While Sarek look slightly appalled, but accepting of the Vulcan on the ground, T'Pau looked completely smug and superior.
It wasn't until they were in the hall did Spock release him.
"Captain, may I inquire when you thought in necessary to attack Stonn in such a way?" Spock asked, his eyebrow raised, but Jim could tell he wasn't angry, merely…curious. Jim looked at him as though the answer were obvious.
"Commander, the day any man call my First Officer a whore is the day my foot is going to say hello to their intestines." Jim said, his blood boiling when he remembered the scathy comments Stonn had felt necessary to make to Jim about his First's sex life. Jim had not been amused to say the least. So he had swiftly shoved his foot into the Vulcan's gut.
"Captain, I do not believe it is necessary for me to comment on how it is physically impossible for your appendages to speak. Not to mention that your legs do not have the physical strength to break through to one's intestines."
Jim smiled.
"Nope. Not necessary." Jim said. He allowed for Spock to lead them back to the rooms that the crew were staying at while they resided on Vulcan II. He paused outside his own room.
"Hey Spock, I didn't hurt him too much did I? I mean I thought Vulcan's could take a hit from a human?"
Spock's lips twitched upward for a moment, as if he were surpressing a grin.
"That would usually prove to be correct Captain, however, like humans, the slightest touch to a Vulcan's genetalia can prove quite painful."
"Wait, you mean I kicked him in the nuts?"
"Actually Captain, Vulcan genitals reside in the abdomen when not in immediate use. However, the testicles are between the legs."
"…so I kicked him in the dick?"
"I believe so, yes Captain."