(I don't know anymore…)
Aaah. A nice Monday morning in our fair city and as per usual, the National National Bank is open for-
Who are you?
I'm the Narrator. I'm 'narrating' the story.
Yeah, I don't think so, buddy. I'M the author of this story so I should be telling the story here.
Well you're writing a story about my show so I think it's fitting that I tell the story.
You don't even have a shape or form! You're just a voice up in the sky!
And you're just a guy who's writing on a computer.
Well… At least I have a computer. Tell you what, how about we make a deal. Whoever wins a game of chess gets to narrate the story.
Deal. But I should warn you, I'm pretty good a chess.
That makes two of us. Hoffman!
Yeah.
Tell the story while me and Mr. Narrator are playing a game of chess.
Rightrio neighborino!
Please tell me you just didn't make a Flander's reference.
The female bank teller, as per usual, was busy filing her nails when suddenly, a masked criminal weilding a crowbar entered the bank, also per usual. "Alright! Everyone on the ground now!" he shouted.
"There's no one here." the bank teller said out loud in her usual calm, annoyed and bored tone with an equal expression.
The criminal looked all around him and noticed that no one else was in the bank. "Good." he said. "Makes it easier. Hostages are always hard to control."
"You gonna rob the bank or not?" asked the lady in an impatient tone. "My lunch break is gonna be starting soon."
"Sorry! Geez." the criminal replied as he walked up to the counter. Unbeknownst to him, the bank teller hit the silent alarm; the criminal placed the bag he was holding on the counter and pointed his crowbar at her. "Alright, lady! Put the money in the bag!"
"I know how to do this. I've been robbed before by a much more dangerous villain than you." the lady replied in a harsh tone.
Right at the moment, the city's number one, and only, vocabulary themed, word defining superheroine showed up, with her monkey sidekick on her back: Wordgirl and Captain Huggy Face
"Stop right there- Oh…" Wordgirl stopped herself once she saw the robber. "It's just a regular old bank robber."
The criminal turned around and was fairly surprised at the unexpected guest. "Wordgirl?!" he exclaimed in surprise.
Wordgirl immediately recognized who the criminal was. "Scotty? Is that you?" Wordgirl asked, chuckling a little.
"Aw no! Not again!" Scott shouted in anger.
"Yep. Again." Wordgirl confirmed. "What is this, Roscoe, like the third time this month?" she asked.
Scott Roscoe growled in anger. "Ooooh! Just wait until I get my hands on ya, you skinny little creep!"
Scott grabbed his crowbar and swung at Wordgirl, but thanks to her superspeed, dodged out of the way pretty quickly. He began swinging his crowbar over and over again and just like before, Wordgirl dodged every single swing and attack.
"Listen, it's Monday morning, alright." Wordgirl began conversing with the masked criminal. "I have somewhere I need to be so how about we wrap this up, is that alright with you?"
"Get down here!" Scott shouted in anger as Wordgirl floated above him.
Wordgirl shrugged in response. "Alright then." she said.
She flew at great speeds towards him and quickly grabbed him; she brought him outside and immediately hung Scott on a light pole by the back of his collar. Scott quickly began to struggle out of his way until Wordgirl intervened yet again.
"Now, I know you could get yourself out of this predicament." she said. "But I wouldn't recommend it since the cops are already here."
Scott and Wordgirl looked down to see a police car by the street, with two cops beside it. "Hi, Wordgirl!" one cop shouted as she waved.
Wordgirl waved back and quickly flew away, leaving Scott to be arrested by the cops. "Oooooh." he growled in anger.
The grocery store manager stood by the checkout line, reading a magazine as he had his feet kicked up on his desk. At the moment, the automatic doors opened, signaling a beep from it, and in came Scott, weilding a bag and a crowbar, like last time.
The grocery store manager quickly got on his feet and smiled at the criminal.
"Why, hello there." he greeted.
"Hey." Scott replied as he slammed the bag on the counter. "Put all the money in the-"
"Say, are you here for a job?" asked the grocery store manager. "If so, you're hired! I like the way you dress!"
Scott raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?" he asked. "No! I'm not here for a job! I'm here to rob you! Now put all the-"
"Rob me?" asked the manager in surprise. "Why that's not professional at all! You're fired! Wordgirl!"
"Wait! Nonononononono!" Scott repeatedly exclaimed as he waved his hands in front of the manager.
At that moment, Wordgirl and Captain Huggy Face entered the store. "You called, Bill?" asked Wordgirl. She then noticed Scott once more. "Hey, Roscoe." she greeted. "Robbing the grocery store, huh? Trying to mix it up a bit?"
Scott turned towards her to face her, giving her a deathly scowl. "You won't get me this time!" he shouted.
"Yeah, we both know how this will go down." Wordgirl replied. She suddenly used her superspeed and quickly wrapped Scott up with plastic grocery bags, much to his anger. "And that's why I'm the superhero and you're the petty crook."
Scott continued to struggle out of his ensnarement. "If I wasn't trapped, you'd be on the ground crying for mercy!" he threatened.
"Too bad you're trapped." Wordgirl replied. At that moment, a police officer came inside, having a bored look on her face. "Officer, take him to jail."
"Will do, Wordgirl." she responded as Wordgirl flew off. The officer then grabbed Scott. "Hey, Roscoe." she greeted as she began to escort him outside to her police car.
"Hey, Molly." Scott replied.
"Robbing the grocery store this time?" asked Molly. "Trying to change things up a notch?"
"I just wanted the money." Scott replied in a sad tone.
"Do you want your usual cell or the corner cell this time?" asked Molly.
"Give me the corner cell." Scott replied. "I want to be alone for a while."
Reginald the jewelry store clerk was busy cleaning the display cases from behind them, getting rid of any dust or fingerprints that may have been smudged on them. Suddenly, he heard the front door ring, causing him to look up; there he saw, no surprise, was Scott, weilding a bag and a crowbar yada yada yada you get the drill.
Scott walked up to the counter and slapped the bag on the counter.
"You know what to do." Scott growled.
Reginald rolled his eyes as he pushed the alarm on his desk. The alarm went off, making Scott to flinch and immediately grab his crowbar. Almost immediately, Wordgirl showed up and hovered over the front door.
"Stop right there- WOAH!" She was interrupted when Scott began swinging his crowbar at her, much to her anger. "Hey! That could've seriously hurt me!"
"That's the point!" Scott shouted. "Now get down here so I can smack that pretty little face of yours!"
"Okay, that's it!" Wordgirl boomed.
She used her superspeed to quickly wrap Scott up with a cable she pulled from outside. She then blasted off as Scott quickly began to try and get out of the cables, but not before Molly showed up with a disappointed look on her face.
"Not one word." Scott said.
Scott sat alone in his jail cell, staring angrily at the ground, his pout radiating extreme anger. Suddenly, the cell doors opened, causing Scott to look up to see Molly holding the door open for him.
"You're times done, Scott." Molly said. Scott got up and quickly got out of the cell. "You would think you'd learn your lesson by now, but I guess criminals don't learn."
"Save it, Molly." Scott replied angrily as he stormed off.
"I'll see you later today… in the same cell." Molly waved goodbye.
Scott exited of the prison and began to walk outside, contemplating about Wordgirl and how much hatred he had for her. "Once." Scott said to himself. "Just once I want to get away with a crime without Wordgirl intervening. I need some sort of plan."
At that moment, a giant robotic foot stepped in front of him, causing him to back up a bit. He looked up to see one of Tobey's robots, with the boy genius on top of said robot, rampaging through the city, with Wordgirl close behind him. He set his sights off the robot and looked at the National National Bank, where he saw the Butcher robbing the place blind, having his hostages trapped in meat products.
He turned his head to see the Whammer causing mayhem throughout the streets; he then turned to see Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy robbing the grocery store, stealing all sorts of bread products. He set his sights to the jewelry store to see Granny May flying off on her jetpack, already stolen the Hobuken Diamond.
Scott hung his head down as he groaned in sadness. "Why can't I be a supervillain. At least I would have a fighting chance to defeat Wordgirl once and for all instead of getting immediately tied up on the spot." Suddenly, Scott quickly formed an idea in his head. "And I know just the person who can help me with this problem." he said in a sinister tone.
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
Dr. Two Brains opened up his warehouse front door to see Scott standing behind it, holding a large bag behind him.
"Can I help you?" the doctor asked.
Scott quickly cleared his throat. "Hello, Dr. Two Brains." Scott greeted. "My name is Scott Roscoe, a small time crook in this city who, just like you and the rest of the villains, have face Wordgirl before and might I just say that she is a nuisance to our lives, isn't she?"
"What do you want?" asked Dr. Two Brains, clearly done with Scott's soft spoken strategy.
Scott cleared his throat again. "I was wondering that maybe you could help poor little me, become a super bad, and by bad I mean totally awesome, supervillain!"
"Uh-huh." Dr. Two Brains replied, obviously not interested in the idea. "And how can I help you achieve that?"
"Well you're the smartest villain in town, aren't you?" asked Scott.
Dr. Two Brains suddenly became bashful. "Oh, well, I AM the #1's most evil scientist in the city." he boasted.
"Who can invent almost anything he wants in just a short amount of time, I might add." Scott… erm, 'added'. "So I was thinking that maybe you could whip me up a device of some sort to help me fight Wordgirl! Maybe some gauntlets that can shoot out like shock waves or something, or you could turn me into a literal sand creature and I can morph into anything and turn my hands into hammers or spike balls or something. Or you could build be some mechanical arms that could be attached to my back and I could use them to fight, crawl and climb!"
Dr. Two Brains began thinking for a moment. "Hmmm." he thought out loud. "I like those ideas… But sorry kid, no dice. I don't help out petty thugs."
"I thought you would say that." Scott replied. "Which is why I went out and bought some…" Scott opened up the bag he was holding. "...cheese!"
Dr. Two Brains' second mouse brain began to glow green as his mouth began to drool. He quickly shook his head out of his trance and stared directly at Scott. "Scott, was it?" he asked. "You have yourself a deal! I can whip up something so creative and useful, that you'll beat the pants off Wordgirl. But don't do that. Don't literally take off Wordgirl's pants. We may be villains but we're not heartless, disgusting monsters!... Well, except the Birthday Girl but that's another story."
Dr. Two Brains led Scott inside and quickly shut the door, readying to start helping poor Scott out.
Later that day, Dr. Two Brains was busy working with Scott to achieve his goal on defeating the city's superheroine. Dr. Two Brains stood behind a glass window as Scott stood in a testing container in the chamber he was in. All he was wearing was his pants and a pair of spiked bracelets, nothing more.
"Now, Mr. Roscoe," Dr. Two Brains began. "I've modified some simple DNA with some of this enhanced mutagen that I 'borrowed' from the city's laboratory. When I fuse your DNA with the mutated DNA, your results will become extraordinary. But I must warn you, Mr. Roscoe, this experiment cannot be undone. You will never be able to return back to normal ever again."
"But I'll be strong, right Doc?" asked Scott as he stood in the testing tube.
"Indeed." Dr. Two Brains replied. "But you will morph into a mutant. A monstrous, horrific mutant. A permanent change. Essentially, you'll be tough. Tough enough to bring down you-know-who."
"Then what's the hold up?!" asked Scott impatiently.
Dr. Two Brains inserted the syringe that contained the mutated DNA into the machine to his side. He pressed a button and soon, the liquid inside the syringe was drained and filled up a robotic hand on the other side of the protective barrier. Another arm then closed the testing tube that Scott was inside as the previous arm injected itself into a machine uptop, injecting the mutated DNA inside.
Suddenly, a pink liquid began to quickly ooze down some tubes and quickly covered Scott entirely. The pink ooze began to sting as it stuck onto Scott, causing him to scream in pain.
"AAAH!" he yelled. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Scott screamed in pain and agony.
Dr. Two Brains stood behind the plexiglass as he and his henchman looked at their experiment. However, his henchman had other thoughts about this experiment.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, boss?" asked the first, unnamed henchman, the one with the red beanie.
Dr. Two Brains turned to face his henchmen. "We'll never know until we see the results now, will we?" asked Dr. Two Brains. "I've never done a live test before so this'll be my first. Though I must admit, I am quite fearful for the results. I mean, we could try again, no matter how many thugs I go through." He then turned to face henchmen again. "Or perhaps… henchmen." Said henchmen gulped. "I'm kidding, you guys. I would never experiment on you."
"Phew." the henchman replied as he and Charlie blew a sigh of relief.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Scott continued to scream as his skin began to mutate.
"What's with the jungle look?" asked the first henchman.
"That's the mutated DNA kicking in." Dr. Two Brains replied. "The animal kingdom provides many inspirations and ideas for future science schemes. His thick skin provides a defensive barrier, and the extra accessories over his mouth and under his nose provide offensive capabilities making him unstoppable!" His henchman began to clap in response, applauding their boss for a grand achievement. "Oh, thank you. Thank you." Dr. Two Brains played along.
"What's going on?" asked Scott from inside the tube, the experiment already finished.
However, something about his face was not normal. His skin was no longer skin, but instead, grayish, pinkish fur was covered everywhere. His nose was elongated and slightly larger, and something appeared to be under his nose but above his mouth, though it wasn't shown completely as some of it was shown off screen.
"Mind your own business, Roscoe!" Dr. Two Brains harshly replied.
"Right. My business." Scott repeated as he took a brief look all around him. "Better get to it then!"
He then suddenly broke his fist out of the tube, completely shattering the glass. He then lifted up his foot, also shattering the glass completely. However, instead of a human foot, his foot resembled that of a giant hoof. He then bashed his head out of the tube as well, finally revealing the mutation.
He was now a giant, mutated wild boar with fur all around him, though he kept his pants and the spiked bracelets as well. He had a huge pig nose and pig ears, and had dark purple spiked fur that was on top of his head and went down to his back; he also had a pair of razor sharp horns that stuck out from his nose on both ends.
Scott completely smashed the testing tube he was in and began to run towards the warehouse doors. He charged at full speed and completely broke the doors and took a stop.
"CUZ THE WAR PIG DON'T WANT TO KEEP WORDGIRL WAITIN'!" Scott shouted into the air.
He then began to charge at full speed into the street, shaking the ground with each step, causing several car alarms to go off as well as hoof prints being left on the concrete.
Dr. Two Brains and his henchman stared as Scott ran through the night time city, alarm cars going off in the distance. They stared at him in a silent, surprised manner; no one spoke a word for a brief moment.
"Wow." Dr. Two Brains said out loud. "I really outdid myself… Well, goodnight you two." he said as he walked back inside his lair, leaving his two henchman to continue staring at the new supervillain running through town.
The next day at the Botsford residence, Becky, aka Wordgirl, was busy watching her all time favorite show Pretty Princess and Magic Pony Power Hour… Copyrighted material obviously. She sat on the couch as her pet monkey, Bob aka Captain Huggy Face, snacked on a bag of potato chips.
"Can you believe it, Bob?" asked Becky as Bob chirped (yes, monkeys chirp). "The season premiere of Pretty Princess and Magic Pony Power Hour! Ooooh, I am so ecstatic!" Bob then chirped some more. "Oh, ecstatic? Ecstatic means the feeling or expressing overwhelming happiness or joyful excitement. For instance, I'm ecstatic that my favorite TV show is premiering for it's newest season."
At that moment, Becky's super hearing kicked in gear.
"HEEEEEELP! Mr. Big is using mind control to mind control other people to do whatever he wants… again!" someone from far away yelled.
Becky groaned in annoyance. "What I'm NOT ecstatic about is missing my favorite show to stop a certain billionaire, mind control using villian from unleashing chaos onto the town. Let's go, Bob." She suddenly grabbed her sidekick's arms.
"Word Up!" she exclaimed as she flew out of her house.
Meanwhile, on the top floor of Mr. Big Industries, Mr. Big was busy using his new mind control ray to… well, ya know, take control of people's minds.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Mr. Big laughed. "Can you believe this, Leslie?"
"No, sir, I cannot." Leslie, his assistant, replied in her usual, monotone/sarcastic voice.
"I know, right?" asked Mr. Big, oblivious to his assistant's sarcastic remark.
Suddenly, Wordgirl bursted into the room and halted everything. "Stop right there, Mr. Big!" she announced.
"Wordgirl?!" Mr. Big exclaimed in surprised.
"I'm here to stop you from using your mind control ray to…" She suddenly stopped mid sentence. "Uh, what are you using your mind control ray for?"
"Isn't it obvious?" asked Mr. Big.
"Um… No, not really." Wordgirl replied. "That's why I asked."
"Oh." Mr. Big said in slight surprise. "Well, have a seat and I'll tell you all about it."
He suddenly pressed a button on a remote control he was holding, causing two mechanical arms to come out of the mind control ray and wrap around the superheroine and her sidekick.
"Ouch! Wha- Hey!" Wordgirl exclaimed as she was now tied up to the mind control ray. "That's cheating!"
"Sorry." Mr. Big apologized, though he didn't mean it. "I am a villain. A very rich villain. Which is why I'm using my mind control ray to take control of people's minds so they can buy my newest and latest product: Mr. Big's Extraordinary Cologne! It makes you smell nice on those late night dates. We also have perfume as well."
Wordgirl seemed puzzled by his plan. "Um," she said. "to be completely honest Mr. Big, I think you could've pulled this off without mind control."
Mr. Big turned to face his opponent. "Really?" he asked.
"Yeah, really." Wordgirl replied. "I mean… It's just cologne. Unless that cologne has mind control in it too."
"Mind control cologne. Hmm." Mr. Big began thinking. "Leslie, write that down."
"Yes, sir." Leslie complied as she began writing on a clipboard.
Meanwhile, just outside Mr. Big Industries, a certain pig themed new supervillain walked in the middle of the street, causing the ground to rumble as well as leaving hoof prints on the cement. Many cars stopped, not wanting to hit the big brute.
Scott looked all around him and noticed a few people walking around aimlessly, like zombies, having green spiral eyes. He immediately knew this was the work of Mr. Big, already having seen him in action before. Scott looked down and noticed the Exposition guy, ya know the guy who keeps thinking every place is the police station, and grabbed him, much to the guy's surprise.
Scott brought the Exposition guy close to his face.
"Where is Wordgirl?" asked Scott in a deep, gruff voice.
"Wordgirl?" asked the guy. "She's fighting Mr. Big right now! I just saw her fly into that building right there!"
The guy pointed to Mr. Big Industries; Scott let go of the Exposition guy and began walking towards the building.
"Thanks." he said as he continued to walk.
Scott continued to walk towards the building as he walked in the middle of the street, causing more cars to stop to a halt as they let the new supervillain pass by. Scott walked inside the building, squeezing his way through the rotating doors.
Scott walked up to the front desk, where a lady was busy filing her nails. She looked up to see the monstrous villain, prompting her to gap her mouth open and drop her filer all together.
"Where's Mr. Big's office?" asked Scott.
"T-T-Top floor." she answered.
"Thanks." Scott thanked as he walked towards the elevator.
"N-No one is allowed t-t-to s-see M-M-Mr. B-Big without a pass, s-sir." she hesitantly stated.
Scott turned around and got extremely close to the woman's face. "Make an exception." he replied as he turned back around to head to the elevator, leaving the lady to be completely petrified.
The elevators' door rang as a man stood inside alone, checking his watch. He looked up to see the newest supervillain casually walk inside the enclosed space, causing the elevator to shake a little.
"Hit top floor please." Scott asked politely. "These don't work so good on the little buttons." he said as he raised a finger.
"Top floor is… already hit." the man nervously replied. He then cleared his throat. "So, uh, going to see the boss, huh?" he asked, trying to start up a conversation with the new guy.
"Yeah." Scott replied. He then turned around to face the man. "Your name ain't Big is it?" he asked.
"I guess I'm so used to using mind control that I just automatically start using it without even thinking about my plan in the first place." Mr. Big explained.
"Well if you didn't use mind control, then I wouldn't have to stop you." Wordgirl also explained, still tied up to the machine. "However, you still used mind control so I'm going to have to stop you from doing that."
"Can you at least wait until the people down there buy the Premium Package?" asked Mr. Big.
Suddenly, at that moment, the elevator doors were launched into the room as Scott ran inside Mr. Big's office, tearing everything apart. He completely smashed a desk, punched a pillar, and threw another desk out the window. He then charged at Mr. Big's office chair and completely smashed it to pieces.
"BRING ME MR. BIG!" he demanded.
As he rampaged, he accidentally knocked the mind control device over, causing Wordgirl to get smashed by said device as it fell on top of her; she was still stuck to the device.
Mr. Big suddenly began to run towards the bathroom in his office; he entered the bathroom and entered a random stall where he closed the door and sat on the toilet.
"I ain't stupid." Scott spoke up. "I know Mr. Big is battling Wordgirl right now."
At that moment, Leslie intervened and walked up to Scott, showing no signs of fear. "Hey!" she shouted. "What in the world do you think you're doing and what do you possibly want from my bo-" Scott suddenly easily picked her up and lifted her up in the air. Now Leslie was showing signs of fear. "I-I mean, how can I help you, s-sir?"
"MR. BIIIIIIG!" Scott shouted. "Noooooow."
Leslie stared directly at Scott's eyes, her body completely stricken in fear. Meanwhile, Wordgirl tried her hardest to get out of her restraints. Thanks to the machine being broken by Scott, she had no trouble getting out of the mechanical arms restraining her.
"M-Mr. B-Big is out at th-the m-moment." Leslie replied in a fearful tone. "M-Maybe you could l-leave a message?"
"What do you think I am? Stupid?!" Scott boomed.
"Well you are dressed stupid." Wordgirl said behind him, causing Scott to turn around, giving her a good look at his body. "Woah. You aren't dressed at all, you really are a talking, giant… wild boar." she said. "I mean… I've faced weirder enemies before but this takes the cake. Why do you want Mr. Big so badly?" she asked.
"You." Scott replied as he dropped Leslie to the ground. "Just you. And payback for all the times you took me down!"
Wordgirl then immediately recognized the voice and the hint he just gave her. "Roscoe?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Not anymore." Scott replied. He then suddenly grabbed a desk and threw it towards her. "CALL ME WAR PIG!"
Wordgirl quickly dodged the desk, which flew out the window; after the sound of a window breaking, Mr. Big popped his head out the bathroom door. "Hey! Watch it! Glass windows are expensive!" Mr. Big yelled.
He suddenly went back inside the restroom as a chair was thrown towards him; the chair landed in front of the door, blocking it.
War Pig threw a punch at Wordgirl, which she dodged at the right moment. "Roscoe!" she exclaimed. "W-What happened to you?!" she asked.
"I got myself an upgrade." War Pig replied. He then suddenly grabbed the mind control device. "This is for all the times you've busted by big scores!"
He then threw the mind control device as hard as he could; Wordgirl dodged the device only for it to crash through the wall, 2 feet of concrete I might add, creating a huge hole in the wall.
"Look, Roscoe, what you did was crazy!" Wordgirl explained. "You turned yourself into a big, pig monster just to defeat me?"
"Not to just defeat you." War Pig replied. "To eliminate you once and for all!"
Wordgirl grabbed a fire extinguisher and threw it at War Pig, only for him to catch it. With his huge hands and tremendous strength, he crushed the extinguisher with ease and began to charge right at Wordgirl.
Luckily for her, she dodged at the last moment, causing War Pig to charge right out the window and begin falling out of the building. Wordgirl, realizing what happened, flew over to the hole in the glass window and looked down to see War Pig falling from the skyscraper.
"No!" she shouted.
She then flew down as fast as she could to try and save War Pig; fortunately, she was fast enough to grab War Pig, though he was heavy, he still wasn't as heavy as the numerous of other objects she's carried in her carrier as a superheroine.
However, War Pig suddenly grabbed Captain Huggy Face, as the monkey sidekick screeched out. The pig mutant then threw Captain Huggy Face as hard as he could, prompting Wordgirl to let go of War Pig to save her sidekick.
"I got you, Huggy!" Wordgirl exclaimed as she caught her primate sidekick.
Captain Huggy Face however screeched as he pointed to War Pig, whom was still falling from the skyscraper. Wordgirl, realized that War Pig tricked her, could only look in horror as mutant landed on the ground, creating a giant BOOM sound as a shockwave was shot out thanks to the impact.
"Oh no." Wordgirl said as she stared horrifically at the ground.
Many of the villains and civilians down below looked at the giant crater at the ground. What they saw astounded them, especially to the villains since they have never seen this supervillain before. They saw War Pig in the middle of the crater, kneeling as his legs and feet were soaked in water from a watermane he broke.
War Pig stood up, not having a scratch on him and instead had a smile on his face.
"Heh heh." he chuckled. "Thrill ride." he said as he dusted some dirt off of his fur.
At that moment, several police cars showed up on the scene, prompting the villains to run into several stores and go into hiding. The commissioner of the police walked up to the crater and turned on the megaphone. However, once he set his eyes on the mutant, he became flabbergasted, but still nonetheless did his job.
"Attention… Uh… Pig alien." the commissioner started. "Stay where you are… in your crater. And keep your hands where we could see them!"
War Pig obliged and raised his hands in the air. "You see 'em now?" he asked.
He then suddenly grabbed a huge piece of concrete and threw it at the many officers surrounding them. They all jumped out the way as War Pig began to charge out of his crater, destroying a car from above and sending it flying to another car.
Wordgirl then flew down to ground level and began hovering over War Pig, right when he was about to throw a car at her. She swiftly dodged the car as it carelessly landed across the street and toppled over; no one was harmed during that throw.
"Roscoe, stop!" Wordgirl shouted, trying to seize the fight.
"There's no more Roscoe!" War Pig shouted. "And no more Scotty! I'm War Pig now!"
War Pig then ripped a giant piece of concrete from the ground with his bare hands and threw it at Wordgirl. Because of the close proximity she was to him, she was hit by the giant slab of asphalt, knocking her and Huggy to the ground.
War Pig then began to charge at full speed at Wordgirl, to which her reflexes kicked in and flew out the way at the last moment. War Pig ended up actually hitting a SWAT van, making a huge dent in it. He used all his force to punch a hole straight into the van and then afterwards, completely ripping it into two.
He grabbed the two pieces of the SWAT van in his hands and turned around. He then threw the pieces at Wordgirl, to which she swiftly dodged both of them. War Pig suddenly ripped another huge slab of concrete off the ground and threw it at the vocabulary themed superheroine, only this time she managed to dodge.
War Pig then charged right at her, using his arm as a battering ram. Wordgirl flew out the way but War Pig kept charging and running. Eventually, he charged right into a store, creating a huge hole in the building, barely missing the Butcher and the Whammer, whom were both hiding inside said store.
War Pig then emerged out the other side of the building, crashing into a wall on the other street. Wordgirl flew over to the next street, only to be met by a thrown mailbox that was flung by War Pig. The mailbox hit her, sending her falling down; said mailbox inadvertently knocked out Huggy and trapped the outer space primate inside the actual mailbox, something that went unnoticed by Wordgirl.
Wordgirl grabbed her head in pain before turning to her side. She suddenly flew into the air just in time as War Pig missed his charge at her, destroying a fire hydrant in the process. Water gushed out the ground like a geyser as the fire hydrant laid on the ground carelessly.
War Pig grabbed the hydrant and threw it at Wordgirl, whom moved to the side as it barely hit her; the hydrant instead hit the side of a building behind her and fell to the ground.
"He's destroying everything in his path." Wordgirl said to herself. "If we continue fighting, he's going to end up destroying the entire city! I need to end this fast."
"What's wrong, Wordgirl?" asked War Pig. "Finally met your match?"
"You wish, War Pig!" Wordgirl countered back.
"How 'bout I change that cuz I can do this all day!" War Pig replied. "The longer we fight, the more the city gets destroyed, and I don't plan on tiring out just yet! It'll be a lose-lose situation for you once your head is crushed under my foot!"
War Pig then ripped yet another slab of concrete off the ground and threw it at Wordgirl, barely hitting her.
"Okay," she began. "ripping a piece of the ground is getting old, War Pig."
War Pig suddenly grabbed a parked car and threw it at the superheroine. Luckily for her, she moved out the way in time and the car got stuck inside a building, the hood of the car lodged inside as the rest of it stuck out the building.
"A car is stuck inside a building." Wordgirl said aloud. "Now I've seen everything."
Wordgirl then flew away, leaving War Pig, whom began laughing at her. "Leaving so soon, Word-freak?!" he asked. "Whatever happened to stopping the supervillain?!"
War Pig then gave chase as he began to follow Wordgirl, who purposely slowed down to try and lessen the damage he done. While he was running, he didn't care if any cars were in his way, having them instead swerve around them.
"Have you looked in the mirror yet lately, War Pig?" asked Wordgirl. "I look normal compared to you!"
"Oh, I may be a freak, but I'm not a coward!" War Pig shouted. "Even the old Roscoe never ran away scared!"
Wordgirl, whom was looking behind her, didn't notice she was flying into the path of an oncoming truck. It wasn't until she heard the truck honking that caused her to fly out the way. War Pig, however, was unfortunate enough to ram straight into the truck.
However, War Pig crashed right into the truck but thanks to his big structure and impenetrable skin, he was undamaged. The truck, however, took more of the damage thanks to crashing into the super brute that is War Pig. The mutant grabbed the engine of the truck and began smashing said truck with said engine. The driver got out of his vehicle and ran away to safety.
Wordgirl flew over to War Pig and hovered in the sky, watching him demolish the truck he just hit.
"There has to be a way to stop him." Wordgirl said to herself. "But how can I stop someone who is super strong and and virtually impenetrable. I mean, the guy survived a 30 floor drop for crying out loud."
War Pig suddenly came from behind the truck and threw the engine he destroyed said truck with towards Wordgirl. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough to dodge the thrown object at her. The engine impacted her, causing her to fall down onto the ground.
War Pig casually walked over to the knocked down Wordgirl and before she could react, he grabbed her leg and brought her high in the air. He then began bashing her on the ground and swinging her, severely hurting her. For once, she was actually getting hurt by a supervillain.
War Pig then threw Wordgirl towards the ground so hard that the impact created a small crater. Wordgirl, now filled with bruises and a few cuts, groaned as she looked up, only to see War Pig lunging his fists at her. She had little time to react and react she didn't.
War Pig began pounding and smashing Wordgirl to the ground, catching a few bystanders who hid from the brutal beast.
After a few moments of smashing and pounding the poor superheroine, War Pig stopped and took a look at his enemy. Wordgirl, now covered in her cuts and bruises, as well as part of her suit ripped, was completely knocked out.
The mutant supervillain smirked and chuckled as he began to walk away. As he walked away, he then noticed a few familiar faces. It was the other supervillains, all of them sans Dr. Two Brains, as they all stared at War Pig, who in returned, smirked and chuckled once more.
"Word-creep won't be disturbin' us any longer." he told the supervillains.
"You may want to checkify on that." the Butcher replied as he pointed behind War Pig.
Lady Redundant Woman groaned in response. "You mean 'check', Butcher." she told him in annoyance.
"Oh, sorry." he apologized.
"He's right you know." Wordgirl said from behind War Pig. He turned around to see a beaten and battered Wordgirl, not having the happiest of looks right about now. "You destroyed part of the city, you knocked out my sidekick, but worst of all: YOU RUINED MY SUIT!"
"She not concerned about her health at all?" Seymour Orlando Smooth whispered to Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy, who in response shrugged.
Wordgirl yelled out a war cry and flew as fast as she could to War Pig, who simply stood there in shock. Using all her force, she punched War Pig in the face, causing him to stumble a few feet. However, War Pig cracked his neck, getting rid of a kink he got from the punch, and smiled maliciously at Wordgirl.
"Ha! Ha!" he laughed. "That all you got?" Wordgirl gasped in surprise. "Now it's my turn."
He suddenly grabbed Wordgirl's entire face with one hand, her muffled screams could be heard. He then smashed her to the ground again before turning around and throwing her at the opposite direction.
Wordgirl collided with the ground, causing a huge streak of broken concrete to form as she toppled over the villains, like a bowling ball to it's pins. Everyone who was involved with the impact groaned in slight pain, especially Wordgirl.
"Hey, Wordgirl." the Butcher spoke up. "Who's the new guy?"
"He calls himself War Pig." Wordgirl explained.
"What are his superpowers?" asked Ms. Question. "Can he throw pigs from his hands?"
"No." Wordgirl grunted in response as she stood up. "He's just really strong."
"Like a rhino?" asked Chuck."
"Maybe stronger." Wordgirl replied.
She then heard loud footsteps, causing her to look straight ahead. There she saw War Pig charging right at her, at high speeds as well.
"Quick! Scramble!" Wordgirl shouted.
Each of the villains all fled the scene, except Chuck, who for some reason stayed.
"I don't know what that word me-"
"Just get out of here!" Wordgirl interrupted him.
Chuck soon and quickly ran off, leaving Wordgirl to battle War Pig on her own. The mutant supervillain charged at Wordgirl, prompting her to leave the area and begin another chase down the city street.
Meanwhile, down the street, a destruction crew stood by an abandoned building.
"The boss says that he wants this building torn down in order to building a new apartment complex." the head of the crew announced. "Get the crane ready!"
Wordgirl then suddenly flew inside the building, slightly scaring the crew. At that moment, they heard heavy footsteps coming from another direction, prompting them to look to the side. There they saw War Pig charging right at them; they all screamed and ran away as War Pig crashed inside the building, still on the hunt for Wordgirl.
"Ha ha!" he laughed. "You like being hunted, freak?!" he taunted.
Wordgirl suddenly hovered over War Pig. "We'll see who's the one being hunted soon." she retorted. She dropped a chandelier over him as it fell on top of him, trapping and ensnaring War Pig in his spot. "Ha!" Wordgirl laughed. "Now it's time for this little piggy to go wee wee wee all the way to jail!"
War Pig simply smirked in response. "Heh!" he chortled. "Who do you think I am? Scott Roscoe?"
War Pig then suddenly broke the entire chandelier he was trapped in by using his enormous strength in his arms. Wordgirl, in response, looked at this sight in disbelief.
"Oh, this can't be good." she said.
"Wordgirl tricks don't work on the War Pig." the mutant stated. "But do War Pig tricks work on the Wordgirl?"
War Pig then grabbed a pillar that was attached to the building and began swinging it like a baseball bat, knocking Wordgirl to the ground. She shook her head as her whole body ached in pain, before looking up to see War Pig swinging the pillar towards her, eventually smashing her with it.
The pillar easily broke into many pieces, as War Pig afterwards grabbed Wordgirl and threw her as hard as he could through further into the building, creating several holes in the wall. She screamed as she crashed into a wall further into the abandoned building.
She groaned as she grabbed her head in pain before looking up, to see War Pig charging right at her again. Luckily this time for her, she flew away just in time, as War Pig completely demolished the wall. She hovered in the air for a bit before a small piece of the ceiling fell on her helmet.
She looked up and noticed that the building was structurally unstable; she then finally got an idea on how she could defeat War Pig.
"That's it!" she exclaimed. She flew over to another pillar as War Pig was getting his head out of the wall. "Hey, War Pig!" she yelled. The wild boar mutant turned around and scowled at her. "I'm over here! Come and get me you pork chop!"
War Pig growled in response. "ARGH! Nobody calls me a pork chop!" he shouted.
He suddenly started yelling as he began to charge towards her. Going with her plan, she flew out the way and headed to another pillar. The previous pillar she was hovering in front of was immediately and completely destroyed by War Pig, who didn't notice the building shaking for a bit.
"You can't catch me, War Pig!" Wordgirl taunted from the other side of the room. "Not by the hairs of your chinny chin chin!"
War Pig roared again as he charged right at Wordgirl once more. Just like last time, she moved out the way as War Pig destroyed the pillar. She hovered in front of wall as War Pig recomposed himself once more and charged right at Wordgirl for the third time.
Like the previous times, she flew out the way as War Pig went right through the wall. Wordgirl flew into the other room and hovered in front of another pillar.
Wordgirl whistled, gaining War Pig's attention; there he saw her simply floating in front of yet another pillar, though this pillar went unnoticed by War Pig, whom didn't seem to realize Wordgirl's plan.
"You think you're so cool?!" War Pig shouted. "You think you can beat me just by standing there?!"
"Well actually I'm floating." she corrected. "And yes, I do think I can beat you by 'floating' here. Just watch me."
"BIG MISTAKE!" War Pig shouted at the top of his lungs.
He lunged himself forward as he used all his speed and strength to charge into Wordgirl. Unsurprisingly, she flew out the way as War Pig demolished the pillar.
Then, it happened.
The entire building began to shake and crumble, finally catching the attention of War Pig. He looked up and noticed the roof and ceiling was giving away.
He then finally knew he messed up.
"Uh oh." he said in realization.
The ceiling then fell as the whole building began to collapse, prompting Wordgirl to fly out of there, leaving poor War Pig to fend for himself. He raised his arms in the air like the ceiling ain't there, which in fact was there. He caught the ceiling but began struggling as the building began to collapse on him.
"WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!" he shouted as the entire building fell on him.
In the distance, one could see a building fall as a huge amount of dust and dirt shot up in the air in a mushroom shape, like an explosion.
Wordgirl stood out front with the demolition crew as they stared at the collapsed abandoned building.
"Looks like the big bad wolf huffed and puffed and blew his whole house down... Or... in this case... 'pig'." Wordgirl quipped as she began chuckling to herself, snorting in the process.
War Pig's hand could be seen carelessly lying on the ground in the open, while the rest of his body was buried underneath brick and stone; muffled groans in pain could be heard underneath.
"Thanks a lot, Wordgirl." the head of the demolition crew thanked. "Thanks to you, you defeated the supervillain and also did our job for us."
"Ah, it was no problem." she said before realization hit her. "Wait… it WAS a problem!"
"Well problem or not, you sure did help us with our job, Wordgirl." the head of the crew responded. "For that, we can't thank you enough."
"Just helping the city as much as I can." Wordgirl replied as she saluted the head of the crew. "I better get this guy to jail before he wakes up."
Wordgirl then quickly grabbed War Pig, whom was still buried beneath brick and stone, and just as quickly flew off. Along the way, she grabbed Captain Huggy Face, whom was just waking up from unconsciousness and made her way to the jail.
She quickly dropped the unconscious War Pig in a jail cell, startling Warden Chalmers, who was sleeping on his chair by his desk.
Wordgirl then flew back to her house and quickly changed into her civilian alter ego, Becky Botsford; Huggy also changed by to Bob as well.
"Well, Bob," Wordgirl began. "I'd have to admit, that battle was the most toughest I ever fought in a long time. For once, a supervillain managed to hurt me really badly." Bob screeched in response. "But we managed to come out triumphant in the end. But… I am worried about one thing though."
Bob screeched.
"If common crook criminals like Scott Roscoe can be turned into dangerous supervillains, then… anyone can turn into a dangerous supervillain." she explained. "Bob." The monkey screeched at the sound of his name. "I think we may have a new set of new criminals in town, only this time… they're more dangerous that our regular foes."
"There you are, Becky!" her mother exclaimed. "I've been looking all over for yo- Oh my, goodness! What happened to you?!" her mother shouted as she pointed to Becky.
Becky looked down, only realizing she was covered in scratch and bruises. "Oh, uh… I fell down the stairs." she lied. "It was a hard landing."
"Oh my, goodness." her mother said softly. "Come here. Let's get those cuts and bruises cleaned up. Dr. Mom is here to save you."
The two then began walking towards the stairs, as Becky couldn't help but have a smile on her face. "Thanks, Dr. Mom."
And so, the city was saved once again. Tune in next time for another amazing adventure of WORDGIRL!
HOFFMAN!
What?
We're done playing chess. I totally beat the Narrator with the horsey.
It's called a Knight, and you didn't beat me. You spent half of the game crying because your parents never hugged you when you were a kid.
SHUT UP! I wasn't crying! I was, uh… Leaking out of my eyes! Anyways, we're done playing and since I won-
Which you didn't.
-I get to tell the story!
Sorry, Hellhound, I already finished.
Wait, what?!
I second that.
What do you mean you finished?
I mean I finished. I finished telling the story.
Dude! You weren't supposed to finish! You were supposed to let me tell the story! Now I'm gonna have to start all over again!
It's too late. I already uploaded it to FanFiction.
Oh, that's just great! You know you really get on my nerves sometimes Hoffman!
How do I get on your nerves? I'm just a figment of your imagination that you created just for the sole purpose of having some humor in this story since you lack a sense of comedy as well as poor taste in music.
Don't you bring my music into this- Your poor taste in music? What about- conversation Hoffman! My music is just fine- your poor fashion sense. What do you mean it's just fine, it's all- Blahdeblahdeblah blah blah! Why are you cutting me off when I'm talking- over the place with no sense of direction. You're the on cutting me off everytime- I'm cutting you off right now!- I say something- Hey look! A button!- Get your little cousin away from there, Hoffman!- Don't push that button-
WOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(AWUAAAAAAWAAAAAAH!
Did you get any of that?
Itsa goooood!)