Quick Note: I'm truly awful when it comes to timelines, so please forgive me. Plus I've forgotten a lot of what happens in the novels and what order they happen in.
I know this story starts after the eighth episode of the anime, where that lies within the novels…who knows. But this fanfic will mention things that only happen in the novels, so if you should probably read them before reading this.
I wait, but I fear that it will be for forever. My heart is throbbing with an unfamiliar feeling and I want it to end. A knock on my door would be the most welcomed sound in the world right now.
He's my friend, so there's no way he would forget about me…He'll come. He'll keep his promise. There's no reason why he wouldn't.
My blood runs cold as I see her face once more. Even if it is just a picture…It takes me back to the time that I've been trapped in for years. My mind has run over the course of that day more times than I can count. I've struggled to figure out how I could have changed it, and as if it was a story with Ayano as the main character, the play in my head rolls on with me as a hero, saving her from herself. Of course, I'm not a hero, and I never will be. Instead of saving her I ignored her silent, subtle pleas for help, and because of that she died.
Here I am though, starring at her smiling face once more as Mary slumbers on the couch at my side. My cold blood has frozen me in place.
I stand, just starring and wondering. I feel lost in Ayano's eyes. They seem to hide nothing, all I can see within them is genuine happiness…so why then? Why did I see her crying?
Only I saw her tears. Only I turned a blind eye.
The thick guilt I had only recently begun to bury is rising from the grave with a vengeance.
Why is she in this picture? Why is Seto standing in front of her smiling as if them being together used to be an everyday occurrence?
Mary stirs in her sleep, and I take a small step back. She opens her eyes to see my quivering. My fear and sadness is more than evident on my face, I'm sure, and she can see it.
"Shintaro…" she mumbles through her curtain of sleep.
"Mary…" I whisper back. Her eyes follow mine and soon we are at a standstill as we stare at the carefully framed photograph of a happy family that both of us could only dream of being a part of. "Ayano?" I ask, the name is directed towards no one, but I can tell that Mary is listening carefully.
"Danchou." The word that comes from her lips confuses me, and my eyes shift to hers in a daze. "You knew her didn't you?"
I'm dreaming. Of course. Another nightmare. Nothing new about that.
Mary throws her hands over her mouth, as if she's holding back a powerful sneeze. She's said something that she shouldn't have, I don't know who told her not to talk about Ayano, but it's obvious from the way her eyes are beginning to water that's she spoke too soon.
"How…did they know her?" I ask. Mary shakes her head profusely, still holding back her words. "It's okay, I won't get mad, just tell me." I sound patient, but in fact, I'm dying to know. What does the Mekakushi Dan have to do with Ayano, and why is it a secret from me?
"Ene-chan…Ene-chan said not to tell you," she replies, as cracks open between her fingers and the wall in front of her mouth breaks.
"Ene?" My world has ceased to make sense.
"She told us about how she met you."
"Ah, you mean about how she was sent to me in an email to destroy my life?"
"S…sure." Mary has a half-baked smile that only Kano would be able to pull off properly.
"It's important that you tell me everything Ene told you," I tell her, "Or I'll die."
The look on Mary's face is now one you would only be able to find on the face of a gullible loli, which very much plays in my favor.
"Why?" she asks me, wide-eyed.
"Ene and I long ago made a pact that if one of us ever keeps a secret from the other, then we both have to die." My words make no sense to me, but Mary has an odd brain, so all I can do is hope.
"That's so romantic!" Mary beams, "I'll tell you!"
My face feels hot. Once again she's interrupted everything completely wrong, but for the sake of finding out Ene's secrets I'll just have to go along with it for awhile. "Please do," I say.
"Ene-chan told me that she knew you in high school, and she also knew the original Danchou of Mekakushi Dan," Mary quickly tells me. The atmosphere grows tense as my fragile heart tries to absorb her words.
"Who was the original Danchou?" I ask, feeling a bit silly for using such a word.
"Ayano-chan!" Mary shouts her voice comes out far too happy and my chest throbs far too much. I think I might really faint.
"No way…Ene knew Ayano? And so did Kido, Seto, and Kano?" I ask her.
She smiles and nods, "Yeah."
This explains it. Kano didn't have to read my mind that night that he took on Momo's appearance to know that I had been dreaming about Ayano, he knew it all along. He knew her all along.
"And me…" I finish. She knew me…Which means…I knew her. Ene used to be human, and though I'd had my suspicions for sometime now; it still comes as a surprise. "How did I know her?"
"Umm…I think you were friends with her! Her name used to be Takane…or something like that…" Mary trails off, but it doesn't matter. Even if she kept talking, I don't know if I can stand to hear anymore.
I remember Takane. I've lived deep within the memories of my first and only high school year for two years now, so of course I remember Takane. Up until now though, her name has seemed distant, hidden behind Ayano's name. Takane was only ever in my life because Ayano was, she was simply a secondary character in the tragic story of why I became a NEET.
Takane and Haruka never bothered to visit my home after I locked myself away. No one did. The world moved on and forgot me, though I was still in it. Ayano, though, despite that she was gone from the world it couldn't ever really move on from her. There's no doubt that she was more loved than I.
Of course, that's what I thought, but slowly by surely each of my beliefs in life are being proved wrong. Takane has been by my side all along. I don't know why and I don't how, but she's been there, and yet I've always hated her for it. I instantly feel bad and an odd desire to seek out and apologize to Ene arises in my chest. I ignore it for the time being though, swearing to buy her a virtual soda or something later.
My mind wanders and I find myself thinking about Haruka. Ene wouldn't choose to stay by my side rather than to be by Haruka's, so something must have happened to tear them apart. All this time I've felt unloved, but in fact, I've been the one who forgot all about my other friends and selfishly engrossed myself in only my own problems. How selfish can a person get? I wonder about that and find that I'm even more disgusted with myself. Have I done a single thing right in my life?
Mary's blank face is still starring at mine. She must be confused since I haven't said anything in quite awhile. "What happened to Takane?" I ask.
"She was killed by her teacher, and then returned as Ene-chan…Kano thinks she has an eye power like us," Mary replies, her confusion clearing.
Her teacher was Ayano's dad…I know that. Ayano's dad murdered Takane, no way. Mary must have just heard this whole story wrong, either that or Ene was making it all up.
If Ene has an eye ability then someone else must have died with her, that's the way it works, or at least, that's how Kido says that it works. Her and her sister both died and she received a power, Kano and his mom both died and he got his, Momo and our dad had to die before she could get hers…Who died with Takane in order for her to come back as Ene? Was it Haruka? Or…was it Ayano?
A foul thought comes into my mind. I want to kill myself to make it disappear. I'm wrong to think such things. I'm broken. I'm broken. I need to stop now. Takane has every right to live…as much a right as Ayano, so then, why do I find myself wishing that Ayano had lived instead of her?
In a perfect world I would have become a NEET, so filled with guilt and depression that I felt as though I couldn't bear it anymore. Then, I would have received an email, opened the attached file and found a digital girl with a red scarf far too long for her small body. "Hello Master! My name is Ayano! Pleasure to see you again! Ah, and don't worry about me killing myself and all, it's fine! I'm alright now! Let's listen to music together now, kay?"
I shake my head to clear it and I try to focus once more on what Mary is saying. "Isn't that funny?" Mary giggles.
"Huh? What's funny?" I ask.
Mary's cheeks puff out as she folds her arms. Oh…now she's pouting, great. Can't zone out for a second around this girl, can I?
"How did Seto, Kido, and Kano meet Ayano?" I ask, ignoring her swinging emotions.
She cheers up rapidly. "She was their Onee-chan!"
"Their what?" I gape.
"Ayano's parents adopted them and then they formed the Mekakushi Dan," Mary continues.
Thinking back, Ayano may have mentioned her adopted brother's and sister's once or twice, or a million times, who knows? Back then, I didn't value the girl by the window and her words were even less important than Mary's 'funny' story. I remember being at her home once. There were pictures on the walls of what were then unfamiliar faces, small children danced around a younger Ayano, but I paid them no mind, I had just simply wondered why I was so unlucky as to get a lazy girl like Ayano as my partner for our upcoming science project, as I hurried to her kitchen to finish it up.
A silent tear trickles down my cheek, and I slap my hand onto my face to hide it from Mary.
Ayano had been my friend. I had thought she was an annoying pain, pushed her away, and ignored her, but in the end I think there was always a part of me that felt very differently then the rest of me. After her death that part was amplified and took over my body, sending me through a whirlwind of negative emotions. She wasn't the first person to die in my life. My own father had died, but even the whirlwind I had felt after that hadn't been quite as strong as this one. Did I love Ayano more than my own father? Did I even love Ayano? I still can't be sure. I can never be sure about anything since, I am, after all, constantly proving myself wrong.
"Shin…Shintaro?" Mary whispers, her concern for me leaking out. I had tried so hard to hide my tears, but it's rather hard when they keep on coming out like this.
"I wish that I could just rewind time," I mumble, as I crouch onto the ground and break out sobbing. How embarrassing. I'm weak, and not very handsome at all normally, so I can't even imagine the ugly creature that Mary must see on her carpet right now. There's snot and tears on my face, my hair is greased with sweat from my intense anxiety, and my lips are curled with the soft whimpers of my cries. Am I even a human boy, or am I just a slobbering dog with a tracksuit on?
Even still, the gentle Mary takes pity on me and she doesn't mock me, but her eyes tell my something. Her eyes tell me that she has another secret up her ruffled sleeves, and this one might be even harder to reach. "Re…rewind time, huh?" she laughs, as dainty beads of sweat collect on her forehead.
It's then that it hits me, that I'll just have to tickle Mary to get it out of her.
Hello and welcome! This story will do its best to follow cannon, but certain things will be slightly altered, such as Mary's "Combining Eyes" ability will be a lot different, and in later chapters the timeline will be messed up a bit. (This time on purpose, though.) I hope that doesn't upset anyone!
I'll do my best to update soon, since it's summer that shouldn't really be too much of a challenge…
I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and I hope that you'll read on and enjoy the upcoming chapters even more! I promise it will get more interesting! I love reviews, so please be kind and leave me one, along with a follow, thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kagerou Days or the cover photo.