Disclaimer-Don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of the characters, all belong to Amano Akira.
A little something I wrote a while ago that you might have seen somewhere else, it is entirely my fanfiction though, I might've posted it somewhere else.
Credits to my scouz for helping me.
No it's not MukuroXHibari, it's just a little CRACK and humor.
Don't forget to review!
Warning for OoCness. Did not plagiarise in any way.
Sanity
Saturday afternoons, the most tedious and dull period of the week, well for Hibari Kyoya at least. No ordering, no intimidating and worse of all...no biting. Ah yes, Hibari was having the time of his life, well it was much better than facing a bunch of herbivores. He lay on the solid cemented floor of the school's rooftop, with his arms tucked under his head and his leg crossed over the other—didn't seem very comfy, but as long as it was peaceful, he was absolutely—
Sniff. Sniff.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SMELL?!
Did a cow just fart?! Hibari twitched, then jerked himself up in frustration. He pulled out his tonfa with one hand and covered his nose with the other. If this was a practical joke, whoever or whatever planned this would surely regret it.
"Kufufu…" A familiar voice echoed.
"You." Hibari growled at the unwelcome intruder.
"Kufufu Hibari Kyoya, long time no see. Are you suffocating yet?"
"Rokudo Mukuro. What did you do?"
A string of 'kufufus' erupted.
"A fart bomb." Mukuro replied with a chuckle.
…
…
A fart bomb.
A fart bomb.
A fart bomb was thrown at Hibari Kyoya.
Now tainting the Head Prefect's pride with a fart bomb was proof that one had lost their sanity, and Mukuro had obviously lost that a long time ago.
Hibari unravelled another tonfa, and held them both out irritably, "I'll bite you do death."
"If you can find me kufufu…" Mukuro taunted, his strange laughter ringing in the air.
Hibari frowned, his slanted, sharp eyes glaring into mid air. He stumbled backwards; the smell was overwhelming his senses. Mukuro was right, he was suffocating, but who could blame him? The stench was…was…repulsive, nauseating, revolting, nose-popping, tear-squeezing, brain-smacking, butt-cracking DISGUSTING. How did he even get such an unforgivable fart bomb?!
GAH.
He wavered, the smell fading away slowly—thank god. He smiled haughtily, for the sake of looking unfazed like the cool guy he was. He craned his head to the right, only to see an owl with a familiar red eye swooning towards him. Hibari could have sworn he saw the beak of the Muku-owl curl into a cynical smirk. He ducked, his arms raised above his head, but as he looked up, the pineapple bird was gone. He lowered his arms away, leaving himself vulnerable.
SPLAT.
…
…
Oh dear lord.
Rokudo Mukuro did not just do that.
Hibari twitched. He twitched a couple of times before clenching his fist and wiping the squishy, murky white, oozing glop, splattered on the bridge of his nose, in other words—bird crap. Yes, Mukuro had just rained his dung across Hibari's once untouchable face. He glowered at the snickering owl. This was, without doubt, a death wish.
"I'll definitely bite you to death." Hibari hissed, his tonfa spinning in swift circular motion as he swung at the hovering bird.
"Kufufu…" Mukuro's voice echoed mockingly through his head. He swooped up, avoiding his attack and veiled himself in the nearest tree.
It was official, Hibari was absolutely and irrevocably pissed off with him. He hurled his right tonfa at the trunk of the tree. WHAM. It toppled over effortlessly, the branches snapping as it did.
"Ku…"
He turned frantically to the left.
"…fu"
He stepped anxiously to the right.
"…FU"
He twitched. Suddenly, his legs somewhat felt bare…bare and—um—itchy? Like there was something frilly brushing across his thighs, something silky and cold too...kind of like a—
He peered down. His remaining tonfa plummeted to the ground. It rolled away as it hit the floor. His eyes widened in flabbergasted horror. He was…he was…WEARING A GODFORBIDDEN GOWN—a red one too. At that moment, Hibari Kyoya had just shown a record demonstration of twitches—a total of one hundred and twenty one. This was just not Hibari's day; he was on the verge of losing his sanity, or had he already lost it? He couldn't care less.
"Get this thing off me." He snarled in disgust, and for the first time in his life, he blushed furiously.
Mukuro's voice echoed around him, "Why? It looks pretty good on you."
Another illusion was planted on the victimized Hibari, this time, a red bow clipped to his hair. Now he's done it. A deadly black aura had started radiating from his body—that wasn't a good sign.
"Kufufu how cute!"
"Rokudo Mukuro…"
With a flutter of wings, the valiant owl appeared before him once again, feathers landing on his head.
"…you must die."
"Kufufu…Well, if I'm going to die…" Mukuro smirked.
A lethal glare had blatantly been shot at the infuriating owl.
"…then I want you to kiss me"
THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS GODDAMN IT. MUKURO HAD GONE TOO FAR. HE WAS DRIVING HIM INSANE.
Hibari snapped.
He tore off his dress shirt causing the illusion to fade away—although his red bow still remained—his topless torso was bare against the chilly wind. He picked up his single tonfa and leaped towards the damned bird. As Mukuro once again dodged to the side, Hibari rotated mid-air and grabbed onto his bird foot. He pinned him to the floor as he thrashed about, struggling to break free. Right now there were two things on Hibari's mind: Retribution and Discipline. He held out his tonfa and scoffed at his victory, "I'll bite you to death."
The bickering was over.
"I don't think so."
Hibari looked at him in confusion. What was that suppose to mean? Oh well, he'd been pissed off to the extreme, he didn't give a damn. His tonfa plunged towards the heart of the defenseless bird.
SMASH.
A puncture had formed in the concrete ground. But Muku-owl had disappeared. The shattered bits and pieces rolled across the floor.
"Kufufu…"
Hibari almost groaned. Almost.
"I had fun today Hibari Kyoya…" His unsettling voice was fading "…until next time kufufu."
Hibari spat irately, "Damn you. Rokudo Mukuro."
*****
Monday had finally arrived, after a long and perhaps stressful weekend, especially for some.
"Vice-Chairman Kusakabe, what do you think the Chairman is doing?" A golf-club-hairstyle prefect murmured.
"I think he's…" Kusakabe paused, searching for the appropriate word "…sulking."
Sitting on the very windowsill of the reception room, was a very dejected Hibari Kyoya, he had been frowning endlessly out the window without budging for the past hour.
Kusakabe took a step forward, "Chairman—"
"Kusakabe Tetsuya." Hibari abruptly spoke.
The prefect and Vice-Chairman jumped in surprise.
"Gather up a group of prefects, we're going owl hunting."
Kusakabe and the prefect just blinked with a dumbfounded expression. They bowed respectfully and scurried out the door without another word.
Hibari glowered. There was a reason for still having his terribly bad mood. Even though it had been two days after the incident with Mukuro…
The red bow was still latched onto his hair.
"Damn you Rokudo Mukuro."