YAY! A oneshot. *happiness* Lol. This is slightly random, but a while back i did a fic with Lisbon leaving in it, so i decided to write this. Thanks to Hayley, even if she is the spawn of all evil for HER oneshot, because the title was her idea. :P

Disclaimer: I've had to say it fifty times now you know. And everytime i die a little more inside. THEY'RE NOT MINE! :P

Leaving A Lie

She wandered into her office, having just said goodbye to Jane. He had been a little... strange today. She'd caught him watching her several times, but she shrugged it off, it was probably some random Jane thing, she smiled, then caught herself, cursing herself mentally, but not really meaning it. She walked in, deciding she would do a bit of paperwork and then finish for the night.

She brushed past her coat, and a folded piece of paper fell out. Curious as to what it might be, and bent over to pick it up. She unfolded it, and her heart sped up as she read the first few lines.

The note crumpled in her hand as she gripped it tightly, sprinting out of her office, not wasting time in waiting for the elevator, instead hurtling down the stairs. Her beat loudly in her chest, as she ran, hoping, praying he was still here, it had been, what, a minute, since he had left? She ran out into the darkness of the parking lot, filled with relief as she recognized his silhouette, the relief however was short lived, and quickly new emotions swamped her, pain and fury, disbelief. "Jane!" She yelled, as she ran towards him. "Jane!"

She caught up with him quickly, and as he turned to her, it stung to see the disbelief written across her face, the anger and hurt in her eyes. "How did you find it?" He asked her calmly,

She stared at him incredulously, "What does that even matter?" She yelled, "Why, why is what matters," she said, holding up the piece of paper that was crunched inside her fist.

"I take it you didn't read all of it,"

"No," she said, staring at him, hard, "I was busy reading the first few lines which you were apologizing for leaving in,"

"I didn't think you'd find it so soon, I certainly didn't think you'd be this upset, I thought you'd be glad to get rid of me – I'm getting you fired one day, remember?" He said jokingly, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Don't you dare," she whispered, "How could you do this Jane? Not a word, not even a goodbye, what about the team?" What about me?

"I thought it would be easier this way," he said softly, serious again, "For everyone, if I just left, no goodbye's, nothing, it would be easier, like I'd never been in the first place,"

Her green eyes shone with tears, as if that would ever work, as if she would never remember him. "It's that easy for you, is it Jane? To just forget," she yelled, she was so angry, so hurt, and fast loosing the little control she had left over her emotions, "And you think it would be that easy for me, with this to hold onto forever," she said, indicating the note, "Do you really think I- we could just forget you like that?"

"I can't stay," he said,

"Yes you can," she said, trying for steady and coming out... vulnerable. God she hated that word, she hated him, how he could do this to her.

"What's the point?" he asked, his eyes cold, harsh, the way he got when he thought about him.

"Just because we lost the Red John case, again, you're upping and leaving? Without even a goodbye, at least you had the courtesy to inform us last time! We got it back last time, we can get it back again!" She shouted, knowing she sounded like she was begging, and trying not to care.

"We're not going to get it back Teresa, not this time."

"Don't you dare call me that," she yelled, pain flowing through her at his words, "You lost the right when you left me that note,"

"Teresa," he said, stepping toward her, brushing his hand on her arm,

"No" she cried, "Don't touch me," A tear rolled down her cheek, barely visible in the dim lighting in the near empty parking lot. "What if we never catch him, what if you spend your whole life chasing him?"

"That's why I have to leave," he said slowly, "We never will catch him,"

It felt like somebody – like he, had punched a huge hole in her chest. She had known, she had known if it came down to her, and Red John, he would pick Red John. She had known it would hurt like hell, she just hadn't realized it would hurt quite so much.

Jane watched her as more tears rolled down her cheeks, faster this time. He knew what she was thinking, and it hurt to see, but it was better for her if he just left now, she might be feeling pain now, but it was nothing in comparison to what she would feel in the long run, if he stayed, it he let this carry on longer than it already had.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he knew he had to say, "I was always going to leave, Lisbon. You knew that I wouldn't stay forever. If we ever got rid of Red John, then I would be gone. There would no longer be any point in me staying, no case, nothing left for me here."

He clenched his fists, watching, struggling with the emotional torment behind her eyes, which she so desperately tried to hide from him. If only he could tell her. If only she knew how this was hurting him even more than it was hurting her. If only he could wipe her tears away and hold her close to him, tell her the truth.

She was stood in front of him, looking angrily into his eyes, quickly before he even saw it coming, she slapped him hard across the cheek. Nothing. She was nothing to him. She trembled with anger, she had done so much for him, she had thought he cared, just a little, about the team. About her.

"I think I should go," he said softly, his heart breaking as he watched her expression change again. This was why he had left a note, he had been selfish, he didn't want to watch her go through this, he didn't want to have to see the look on her face. He didn't want to have it taint her memory, because after this memories would be all he had left.

"No, wait," she said, shocked at what she had just done, "You can't leave, you can't... just please, please don't do this to me' she begged, more tears making tracks down her cheeks.

"It will be better for everyone," he said, "Goodbye Teresa,"

"You can't do this," she said anger in her voice, "You can't come here and work with me everyday, you can't make me stupid paper frogs to cheer me up and get me coffee every morning, you can't make me do trust falls, make me forgive you so easily, dance with me, and then do this." She yelled as she pounded her small fists against his chest, her breathing heavy, she stopped, and slowly lifted her shimmering green eyes to meet his pained blue ones, "You can't make me fall in love with you, then just up and leave," she said softly, vulnerability, pain, sadness lacing her tone.

This time, he was the one crying, this was exactly what he had been leaving to avoid, as usual, he had been too late. He hadn't been able to save her, either. "No," whispered, rest his forehead against the top of her head. "I'll just cause you more pain in the end," he said, his heart twisting at the painful but true words.

She looked up at him, surprise and a hurt kind of love in her eyes. "I don't care," she told him, capturing his lips in a kiss. "I do," he breathed, as they stopped, "I don't want to hurt you,"

She kissed him again, running her fingers through his hair, breathing him in, "I don't want to hurt you either," she said, "But can you imagine how much stopping this right now would hurt?" She whispered, gently kissing him again.

Not too sure about it... but i enjoyed writing it, sort of :)

Hope you all liked it, thanks for reading, reviews would be very appreciated.

Emily :) xxxxxxxxxxx