"Wwehh", Eridan whined as a certain eight limbed sea creature continued to ignore his desperate attempts to get his friend's attention.

"You're such a baka, Squidward! I bet you don't even knoww more than one song on that dumb clarinet." He'd gone and done it now, Eridan realized just a moment too late. Squidward turned his head slowly towards the troll. Tension arose from both of their beating hearts as a challenge was unspokenly accepted between the lovers. Squidward finally made eye contact with the blushing troll, and Eridan felt his knees go weak. He had never desired a fish as much as he did now.

"Nani...S-squidwward-senpai" Eridan said with a weak voice, barely above a whisper.

"Do you want to see me play my clarinet, Eridan-kun?" lust dripped from every syllable that rolled off the squid's tongue. Eridan knew he couldn't back down now.

"Come at me bro, get ready to get meme'd on. Hard." Eridan really had no idea what stupid bullshit was spewing from his mouth, he didn't really care either. All he needed to do was signal Squidward, his long-term matesprit, senpai, and love of his life, that he was ready. He was ready to become one with Squidward, ready to give all of himself to him. He was ready.

Eridan had been waiting for this moment for months. Salivating for it, even. It was all he could think about. The idea of Squidy's long, succulent, slimy tentacles running over his pure, untouched, innocent troll body was more than enough to prepare him for this moment.

Squidward took a slippery step forward, towards Eridan, and the sound of his mucus covered tentacles sliding across the floor was more than enough to snap Eridan out of his daydream. He didn't have to dream anymore, his most desired wishes were about to be granted by the one he loved most. Almost too soon, Squidward was but a breath away from Eridan. Almost pressed against his body, Eri's very core yearned to be even closer to the squid. As if Squidward could hear his very thoughts, his flaccid body was soon pressed against his own.

"Squid….wward….senp...ai….ah!" Eridan couldn't keep his voice from cracking multiple times during his feeble attempt at speaking. He was already putty in Squidward's tentacles, and he had barely touched him yet.

"Eri-kun… are you ready to see me play my clarinet?" Squidward grinned mischievously and softy thrust his hips slightly more in the trolls direction. Eridan could feel it, his body had become so sensitive, realizing what was about to happen.

"Y-yes.. Squi- AH!" Eridan gasped in surprise as Squidward didn't even wait for him to finish his answer before he sent two of his tentacles around Eridan's backside, squeezing roughly. He knew for a fact that Squidward had no reason to have any knowledge on troll anatomy, so he's flattered when he realized Squidward must have researched his species before making his move just now. The thought of senpai caring so much as to spend time learning about his body was heartwarming, and Eridan felt a few butterflies begin to flutter around in his gut. This was not a new feeling to the troll, he felt this way very often about his senpai. Eridan was sure of his feelings, as sure of his highblood class.

A new sensation brought Eridan back to reality once again. A rough, slime coated pair of lips trailed their way in kisses from his neck, to his jaw, to his ear, and eventually his own lips. Squidward had never kissed him before, his heart swelled with happiness, excitement, and overall, love for his senpai.

All of a sudden, a horrifying thought washed over Eridan. His blood ran cold and he almost backed away from Squidward's kiss. Eridan literally knew nothing about squid anatomy. He never got around to looking it up, troogle, or checking out the local library. Terrified, Eridan leaned his face away from Squidward, staring him straight in the eye, an embarrassed look set in place. Nervously biting his lower lip, he watched as Squidward looks him over once before asking, "What is it now, Eri-kun? I know you've been waiting for this, I have been too. What's stopping you?"

"Baka… it's just…", Eridan averted his eyes from Squidward's sultry gaze, "I don't knoww...you. I don't knoww your body… wwe're different." The embarrassed troll looked up at his senpai, seeking a look of understanding.

"We may be different, but love is love! You don't need to know my body to know me… you know what I am. Say it to me, Eri-kun." Squidward said with renewed passion, a fire burning in his eyes that wasn't there before.

"I.. knoww wwhat you are.." Eridan said slowly, trying to sound confident in his words, but it came out sounding more apathetic than anything. Squidward caught his hesitation.

"Then say it." Squidward said huskily, strongly annunciating every word, "Say it, out loud."

"You're.. a squid. Squidwward Tennisballs. My senpai." Eridan said with more passion than he thought could ever leave his lips. Squidward stared at him, confusion slowly growing in his expression.

"What?!" , Squidward said with a sincere sound of offense upon his lips. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Eridan began to panic, thoughts rushing through his head. What did he say wrong?

"You think I'm a squid?!" Squidward took a step back from Eridan, assuming a defensive stance. Eridan was confused beyond comprehension as he attempted to figure out what he did wrong.

"You could have just told me that you thought i was disgusting, jeez! Eri, how could you be so cruel? Do you not even care about my feelings?! What's wrong with you!" Squidward shot accusations and blame from his mouth faster than Eridan could process them. He was in deep shit, and couldn't see a way out.

"I-i…..I di-idnt-t…." Eridan stuttered, not sure how to react. Suddenly, a familiar feeling began to well up in Eridan's legs. Tingling like that of a broken television channel began to crawl its way up from his toes. He knew this feeling all too well.

"Oh no.. not noww.. any time but noww.." Eridan whispered to himself under his breath, not listening to Squidward anymore.

"...'nd do you even see this arm? Does this look like a fucking squid's arm to you? huh?...huh? Eridan?...Hey, Eridan, I'm talking to you…."

"Hey! Fishdick! I'm talking!"

"Eridan, really…. get the fuck up"

"Eri."

"Eridan?"

"ERIDAN?!"

That's the last thing Eridan heard before his mind slipped into darkness. He never even felt his body hit the floor.