She laid in her bed in the damp hostel she lived in, thinking about her life. In a span of a few months her life had gone totally out of control. She was 18, with no money, friends or family to support her. She had messed up big time. If she could turn back the hands of time she would do it in an instant. But she couldn't, now she had to live with her mistakes haunting her every thought.

She never thought it'd come to this. Well, who would. The world saw her as a happy outgoing girl with a lot going for her. But sadly she didn't see it that way. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a worthless girl with too many scars both physical and mental. She saw the mark of the man who defiled her, she saw the mistakes she made to rid herself of that moment. She saw the drugs and the drink and the self harm. She didn't see what she could be. Just the past 5 years and the choices she made that led her here.

It disgusted her. She wanted to change but she didn't know how. She had tried so many times but each attempt led her back to square one. No matter how she changed, she always had the one reminder that as hard as she tried she couldn't forget, it never left her, it was etched on her skin forever. He did it to her. He broke her. But she didn't hate him. She hated herself. She felt it was her fault. After all, that's what he told her.

*flashback*

It was any other Thursday night. Beca had been at school late doing netball. She was the best defender in her year. After all, not many 13 year olds get a chance to defend the county in a nationwide tournament. Only the best. She was happy.

'Hi mum, it's me, I'm going to be a little earlier than usual, the changingrooms are flooded and they're letting us go home in our kit... Yes, I understand... No, I won't... Yes... Yessss... Okay. Byee... Bye... I love you too... Yes, bye.'

Ugh mum's. She thought. She loved her mum but boy did she nag.

Ugh mum's. She thought. She loved her mum but boy did she nag. With the call over Beca put her coat on and headed home. Beca being the typical 13 year old had her nose buried in her phone as she walked. She loved walking. The fresh air, the sounds. But. She loved her phone more. Twitter and facebook. Snapchat was her favorite.

"Oooo, I bet Martin will love this selfie even better with the dog ears" she said to herself in hushed tones.

"Excuse me, miss, you wouldn't happen to have the time would you?"

Beca jumped. She didn't hear the man behind her.

"Oh, it's 6:36pm"

"Fuck, I'm going to be late. Shit, sorry. You wouldn't happen to know the way to Warren Avenue?"

"Which house? I live on that street." She looked up from her phone to look at the man. He reminded her of her uncle. She smiled at him.

"Number 26"

"Thats 12 doors down from my house. I'll show you the way"

He smiled at her. But something about it was off. She couldn't put her finger on it, so she shrugged it off.

They walked together for 15 minutes. Only small talking on the way. They came up to the alley that lead to Warrens Avenue.

"left at the top of the alley and you'll get there." Beca stated.

" This was very kind of you, Beca, right?"
She nodded.
"Let me thank you properly, what do you like?"

Before she could open her mouth he grabbed her. Pinning her to the alley wall. She tried screaming but he slapped his hand over her mouth. Her legs flailing around trying to get loose. The man taking advantage of her small size and pushing her down the wall with a hand on her throat. He unzipped his pants and grabbed her hair. Everytime Beca tried to get away he would kick wherever was visible.

"Why are you trying to leave Beca , I'm thanking you, by letting you taste what a real man can make a women feel, you brought this on yourself. Pretty girl like you walking in the dark in tight clothes. What sort of man would I be if I didn't give you a sample of being a real women?" He whispered in her ear.

He grabbed tighter on her hair pulling it to his crotch. He pulled down his pants.

"Open your Fucking mouth before I break it open, you stupid bitch."

The Man stood there smirking as she did as he asked. He pulled her mouth over his dirty thing. She bit down. Causing him to yelp and let go of her hair. She tried squirming away but he recovered to quick. He pulled out a knife.

"Listen here you Fucking whore. Do as I say or I will slit your Fucking throat. Do you understand"

She nodded. To scared to move or even speak. He pulled her up and made her pleasure him. She was about to give up when she heard her phone, she tried to grab it, but he was swifter, he kicked her phone away and stuck his knife into her ribs. She froze. She could hear her mum on the phone. When he kicked it, it must of answered, she thought. She screamed. All that came next was pain, followed by shouting and sirens.

*End of flashback*