Dear... ,
J.T.'s gone and I've got to accept that. I'm trying. I am. I've been going to the college coffee houses, drinking strong little cups of coffee, growing a goatee. I've been taking a few college courses, too. Just a few.
You know, high school isn't forever. It was what it was. I've got to just incorporate it and move on. Truth is, I'm not so good at that. I tend to dwell on things. Over analyze. Strip of any and all meaning in the minute dissection. It's my nature.
I've been dwelling on the friends of the kid who killed J.T. It's just ironic that now they're at our school. They are there and J.T.'s not. So I admit it, I've been dwelling on the violence and the darkness that leads to the darker darkness or whatever it is that Liberty says.
I like hanging out with Liberty, even though J.T. kind of connects us and divides us at the same time. Liberty is kind of all grown-up. She used to wear those overalls, and she was such a grade grubbing little kid. It's okay. It's just kind of neat to see her looking so sophisticated, put together, kind of cool.
I've been thinking about my bar mitzvah. 13 years old and I was a man? In what world was a 13 year old a man? At this rate I'll never be one. Nah. We all move on, seasons and cycles and all that, leading to the grave. That's a little dark.
Sincerely,
Toby
Dear...,
Hey man what is up? It's been a long time. Listen, I'll fill you in on what's been going on. I was with Ashley, and I thought it was working. We both did. Turns out it was more of a pity thing, she was being "supportive" of me in this negative type of way. I don't know what it is with Ash, it just never works out. Maybe it's me, a little bit. I want her to be something she's not, like in ninth grade and that "Taming the Shrew" skit and everything. I'm shaking my head.
Anyway, Ash aside, there is this new girl. She's in my physical therapy thing and, I don't know, she inspires me. She likes me for me, not because she feels sorry for me or something twisted. Me.
On another note, I've repaired my relationship with Spinner. That anger I was holding onto, the hate, it was poison to me. I can't live like that, man. So it's cool. But get this. He has cancer. I think the doctors got it all and they're doing the follow up chemo and everything but it's kind of scary. Kind of freaky.
Alright, man, gotta go. Keep in touch.
Peace,
Jimmy
Dear...,
Okay, so hey, how are you? Me? I've been better. Dylan's gone, and I'm afraid I'm not exactly dealing with it well. Ellie's been trying to fix me up but maybe I'm just not ready. I don't know. I've been sitting home all the time then I get sucked up into the crazy night life that I can't afford with this guy who spends money like he's got a money tree in his yard or something. Then he tries to turn me onto prostitution. Can you believe that? I couldn't believe that and what's worse, I almost did it. I thought about doing it. I have no morals.
I just miss Dylan. I'd wanted to live here with him, have a life with him. But I guess he had other plans.
Love always,
Marco
Dear...,
Hi. Look, I'm fine. I am. Sure, that whole thing when Craig came back was so uncool and opened my eyes to certain things, like he doesn't love me. Like I loved him and he wanted to just use me. Whatever. I don't even care anymore. Then Jesse. Jesse practically had sex with Caitlin! Caitlin Ryan of all people! My mentor! Well, there you go. Not only do I get screwed over by bipolar coke heads, which sort of makes sense, but I get screwed over by my own mentor, and that sucks.
It's time to move on somehow. The problem is I'm not sure how.
Yours,
Ellie
Dear...,
Hey man what's up? So you've probably heard about the big C? Yeah, I've got cancer. Shaved my head, had the surgery, doing chemo. I'll beat it. I will. Gotta stay positive. School is getting a bit affected since I've been so sick. Hatzilakos said I could take like a month off, but then I won't have enough credits to graduate. Will I ever graduate? I might be in my early twenties by the time I pull it off. Yeah, I guess I'm on the six year high school plan. Sucks for me. Oh well, no shlaboggle.
Peace out,
Spinner
Dear...,
Hi, how are you? What have I been doing? Just the usual, writing songs, doing shows. Taking the meds I'm supposed to and not the ones I'm not supposed to, though I've been tempted. I can't help it. I think I have an addictive personality. Just add that to all my other diagnosis.
It's funny, I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately, Albert, not Joey. And what's funny is I've been thinking about him but not getting so pissed off like I used to. Boy, I'm making great progress. He's been dead for six years and I'm just getting around to forgiving him.
Your friend,
Craig
Dear...,
How are you baby? I've been fabulous, absolutely fabulous. The fashion industry is, well, a little rocky at this level. Sure, I'm chasing after lattes all day in six inch heels, I'm basically my boss's lap dog but it'll get me there. It's dues, you know, baby? That's all it is. And I know Alex and her lack of ambition has finally got to me.
But everything else is great. Marco and Ellie are great, I love living here, it is like so very…very. And once in a while, I have to admit, my job can be pretty cool. It has its moments. Don't we all?
Hugs and kisses,
Paige
Dear...,
Okay, I do miss Sean. Everyday. I hope he's thinking about me where he is. I think we'll get back together, I'm sure of it. Boy, where did that unbridled optimism come from? On a different note, Jack is getting pretty big. He's four, can you believe that? I really can't. Time is going pretty fast, it seems. Soon high school will be over, graduation is just on the horizon.
All my love,
Emma
Dear...,
I think I've really made a sort of truce with my father. I mean, I had that debut so I'm supposedly an adult now, but it seems like he'll never see me as an adult. He'll never trust me as an adult, and I'll have to lie like a child for the rest of my life. It still kind of makes me long for Emma's type of parents, parents who grew up in Canada and who get the culture that I'm living in. My parents just aren't adapting to things here, they just don't understand that this is my world, that I don't believe all that old world old fashioned stuff that they do.
Love,
Manny
Dear...,
I just thought I should let you know that Darcy is a wreck. I tried to help her. I mean, I tried to understand what she was going through and everything but…the girl is seriously screwed up. And I'm not great at that, you know, helping people through their issues or whatever. Like with Emma and her eating disorder, I tried to sort of be there for her but it wasn't easy for me. Why can't I just meet someone normal, someone capable of having fun? A little trouble, a little fun, that never hurt anybody. Instead I end up with all these wrecks, train wrecks that I have no power to save.
Sincerely,
Peter
Dear...,
Things are going as well as can be expected. I miss J.T. Of course I do. He's a part of my heart. But I'm trying to let him go. Trying to move on because I have to. And the year is going along. The Lakehurst kids are here since their school burned down but I don't mind. Honestly. I understand that it wasn't that school that killed J.T., it was one disturbed individual who is in jail now. I just wish Toby could see that a little more.
Sincerely yours,
Liberty
Dear...,
This just really sucks. I'm miserable, and crazy. So I'm not a virgin anymore, it shouldn't really bother me, a ton of girls aren't. But it was so much a part of who I was, that I was saving myself for marriage and that was taken away from me and it's not fair. I'm unclean, defiled, and there's nothing I can do to fix it.
Well, there is one thing.
Always,
Darcy