Set after Caroline and Enzo's murder roadtrip and Elena and Damon's subsequent curing from the ripper virus.
The sheriff left a few hours ago after letting her in. Elena sat on the bed as Caroline came into her bedroom.
"Hey Care."
Caroline blinked like a deer in the headlights, "What are you doing here? Is everything ok?" She flinched a bit, considering how not okay everything currently was. "I mean less so than usual."
Elena smiled a bit, "I just figured we could talk for a bit, considering everything that's happened and now that I'm not possessed anymore or in danger of dying or killing everyone." She patted Caroline's bedspread and drew her feet up to sit cross legged.
Caroline smiled as she kicked off her shoes next to Elena's and sat down, setting her purse on the nightstand. "Just another fun filled day in Mystic Falls. So, what's up?"
Elena took a breath and decided to rip the band-aid off. "Damon mostly caught me up on what I missed." She paused briefly to make sure she had her full attention. "Including the gossip. And what came out at the party. I'm sorry about what happened with Tyler."
She saw Caroline tense before flinching. "Elena, look I wasn't hiding it or anything! I-"
Elena grasped her hand, "Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Caroline blinked a few times mouth trembling slightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry." She looked down and away, still tense and fidgeting. Awaiting judgement.
Elena shifted and jerked her hand to pull them both into laying on the bed, like when they were kids. "No you're not." Caroline flinched again. "You're not okay, and you don't need to be sorry."
Caroline froze and looked up at her. "But Elena, I- You- its Klaus!" She flinched again. "I know you have every right to hate me. I mean after everything, I actually slept with Klaus." She covered her face with her hands and turned to face the ceiling. "You should hate me," she spoke from behind her fingers.
Elena sighed, "Because I was never basically stalked by an older vampire who decided he was in love with me, who terrorized my friends? Who murdered a family member of someone I love? I would never sleep with them, fall in love with them?" Caroline froze, as Elena pried her hands away, "Sometimes I still can't believe Matt doesn't hate me. Or that the rest of you don't." She smiled as Caroline rolled back towards her, relaxing slightly.
"You haven't really been able to talk to anyone about it, have you? Do you need to talk about it? I know Klaus is definitely not a Bonnie safe topic, and that would just leave Stefan."
Caroline made a choking noise in her throat. "Yeah." She took a deep breath and blew it out. "Yeah, I mean, I tried to tell you, but you weren't you know, you you." Her brow furrowed, "In fact, I should have known it was Kathrine based on what she said, well after she picked her jaw up off the ground."
She grinned at Elena, "I will always treasure the look on her face."
They both snickered and settled into an easy silence for a few moments before Elena cautiously broke it, "…so, do you love him?"
Caroline went stiff again, "What! No!" she choked out, looking horrified, eyes darting like she wanted to flee the room.
Elena placed a hand on her arm, squeezing slightly, "But you do have feelings for him."
Caroline shut her eyes and seemed to sag.
"I know you Care, it wouldn't have happened otherwise." She watched Caroline draw a shuttering breath, wilting into herself and shaking her head in denial.
Elena frowned, "Unless he compelled you," Caroline sat up, eyes snapping open, anger igniting, "And then we'll kill him."
"Elena! Seriously?! He would never-! I can't believe you would even suggest-!" Caroline froze from her kneejerk defense of Klaus at the knowing look in Elena's face. Realizing she'd been tricked she sagged back to the bed.
Elena followed her and just lifted an eyebrow, "So you do have feelings for him."
Caroline sighed in defeat, "You're evil, you know that?"
"What are friends for. But seriously, talk to me Care, are you alright?"
Caroline blew out a breath, and then told Elena everything, related every word of her confession, his promise, all of it. Confiding in someone the particulars of that day for the first time, she felt both exhausted, and that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
She turned to Elena, trying to decipher the pensive expression she was wearing. Part of her still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"What does it feel like?" She asked softly, curiously, but without judgement.
Caroline was confused, it must have shown on her face as Elena clarified, "That connection you feel, what's it like?"
Caroline stilled and turned to face the ceiling again, Elena just squeezed her hand again, she knew this wasn't avoidance, her friend needed to gather her thoughts.
"Do you remember when you dated Matt, or Damon? How you were friends first? But with Stefan you went straight to dating." Caroline still wasn't looking at her, so Elena just let out an affirmative hum.
"And the more you got to know him the more and more you started being yourself." After glancing to the side and catching Elena's confused look she rushed to explain "Like how you would second guess what you said, or wait to see how they reacted to something first. But when you had been friends first you were surer of yourself, how they saw you. You were more comfortable with yourself, more free." She saw the comprehension in Elena's eyes.
"It did take longer to be myself with Stefan, but we got there, before the end. But I see what you mean, with Damon and even Matt, I felt more like me when we started, I guess it was because I already knew them and they already knew me, there was less to be afraid of."
She blew out a breath, "Yeah, that's how it was with Tyler, we were so close before romance even came into it. I had seen him, and he had seen me. Months of revealing little parts of ourselves and waiting for acceptance. Until I was almost entirely free, almost entirely me, when we were together. I think that's why I loved him so much more deeply than Matt," she sighed, a hint of tears in her voice, "I felt more comfortable, more myself. That's why it hurt so much more when he didn't come back. The rejection went deeper, he understood more of me, had more of me, and left anyway."
Caroline rolled over onto her side to face Elena, she could see Elena understood her point but not its relevance. She met Elena's gaze head on and steeled herself, in for a penny, in for a pound.
"Now imagine that sort of self-possession, no pretenses, no waiting for judgement. Multiply it. Imagine being that utterly comfortable with yourself, completely free and entirely you from the first moment you meet. And that first moment of course, he's saving you from himself, after basically brainwashing your boyfriend." Caroline let out a hitching laugh on the verge of a sob.
Elena's eyes widened. "Oh Care…" she scooted forward, wrapped her arm around Caroline, and they both turned to stare at the ceiling. She felt the crook of her arm where Caroline's head rested grow damp from silent tears. After a few moments of comfortable silence, she realized something, "That's why you never seemed to be afraid of him."
"I always had to remind myself to be…. I still forgot most of the time." Caroline sighed again, "Which is how I got stabbed and bit in your living room."
"Back when he was still flying off the handle, I still forgot to be afraid of Damon most of the time."
"That is so not what I needed to hear right now." Caroline halfheartedly whacked her, before settling again.
Elena realized something for the first time, "That's your real problem with me and Damon isn't it, it's not Damon, its me."
Caroline froze as Elena continued, for the first time really seeing the parallels of their situations. "You're upset that after everything he's done I fell for him anyway."
Elena rushed on through her epiphany before Caroline could deny or deflect, "I've thought about it myself you know. Damon is a fraction of Klaus' age. I think about what he could turn into after a millennium, if he's capable of what he's already done after only a century. But he's trying, and I love him anyway."
"Damon's still a dick. Besides, it could happen with someone else."
Elena sighed, "It's obvious he felt it too. And Klaus has been walking around for a thousand years, if it's a common thing I don't think he would have pursued it that hard considering he pretty much screwed his chances with you from the first moment you met."
She felt Caroline grow still, barely breathing. "You are not saying what I think you're saying."
"I'm saying that we have forever, and that's a long time. And with what you made him promise if anything does happen it will be entirely up to you."
"He's Klaus, he'll find a loophole eventually."
Elena refused to be deflected. "Be honest Care, you said you didn't love him but you do have feelings for him. The real question you need to ask is could you love him?"
Her response is whispered, so low that enhanced vampire hearing is the only reason Elena hears it at all. Caroline's tone is a curious mix of fear, self-loathing and wonder.
"It'd be easier than trying not to."
They are both silent as the weight of Caroline's words sink in.
"I'll never like Klaus, but it'll always be your decision Caroline. And no matter what it is, I'll always love you. " Caroline relaxed against her with a shuttering breath.
"Like I said before, forever is a long time, and if it comes to that," Elena huffed sounding put upon "we'll just have to rotate holidays." Caroline let out a shaky laugh at that, rolling over and hugging Elena fiercely.
"But just bear in mind all the shit you've given me over Damon, and turnabout is fair play."
Caroline laughed again, freer this time, feeling lighter than she had months. She reveled in the kinship here in this moment with Elena. She still didn't know what would or could or even should happen with Klaus, but she had time to decide. She knew Elena would want her to never see Klaus again, but it was clear that it was her decision and Elena would support it no matter what it was. And this was why, she knew, that deep down she would always be willing to defend Elena, because no matter what people said, she always felt that they put her second. Second to revenge, second to work, second to everything. Second to Elena, everyone always put her second, except Elena.
END
A/N: So the TVD fandom swallowed me whole and I've decided to dip my toe into exploring klaroline. I wanted to address the part of Caroline's confession where she said she hated herself for how she felt. It doesn't feel quite done to me but this is as close as I could get it. I really like stories about this pairing. There are some really fantastic ones out there, but I'm so tired of some of them turning Haley into a bitch or Tyler into a cheating dick or Elena into a selfish brat, or saying that none of Mystic falls gang cares what happens to anyone except Elena. Basically, destroying the characters of anyone who stands in the way of the pairing. It's insulting to their characters and its insulting to Caroline's character since she loves them. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest. I've got a few fics simmering that I'll try to post, we'll see. Also, if anyone reading knows if ravenclawslibrary's fics are still posted anywhere lemme know, those were my favorite klaroline and they disappeared.
Oh, and lemme know what you think?