EDIT: After rereading this I realized that there may be some confusion between the two Yuri's even though this is a POV fanfic. So now Katsuki Yuri's name has been stylized to Katsuki Yuuri.
I do not own the rights to Yuri! On Ice, they belong to Mitsurō Kubo and Saya Yamamoto. I return from a years-long hiatus from fanfiction writing with a completely unoriginal idea: the events of the Grand Prix banquet, as requested by my sister. Despite the lack of originality, I hope you enjoy my interpretation of what happened regardless, especially as told from Drunk-Yuri's perspective.
Warnings: OOCness, dirty humor, and…well, you've probably seen the pictures so you know what to expect.
Enjoy!
Where is the Edge?
I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. Why did I allow Coach Celestino to talk me into coming to the Grand Prix banquet? There's nothing for me to celebrate!
God, I feel everyone staring at me. They look disappointed. All of these faces…no. I should keep my head down and not look at or talk to anyone. Especially if they competed in the Finals, like Victor—
Oh no! I clamped a hand over my mouth as I felt bile rose. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept my head. No, I can't think about it! I already had an opportunity to talk to him, and I blew it! He probably thinks I'm an idiot—as if my performance tonight didn't already demonstrate that! I just want to get out of here!
"You need to calm down and clear your head." Coach Celestino was speaking to me in a calm but reassuring voice, but it did nothing to make me feel better. "You made it to the Grand Prix final. You're only one of six figure skaters to do it. No matter the end result, you should be proud of this accomplishment."
Please, please stop talking. I don't want to think about it anymore!
"I'll leave you alone for a little while here." WHAT?! No, no, no! Don't leave me here alone! "Have some champagne and socialize with the other skaters. It will make you feel better."
"We don't need two Yuri's in the same bracket. Incompetents like you should just retire already."
I definitely didn't want to mingle with that kid—Yuri Plisetsky. It was bad enough already knowing that I'm a failure, but having a teenager tell me how much I sucked made things even worse! I wanted to see him just about as much as I wanted to see Victor Nikiforov, which was not at all! I lifted my head to finally voice my feelings on the matter, but my jaw dropped as I realized that Celestino was no longer standing with me alongside an empty table. I looked around frantically, but I didn't see him anywhere!
Oh God, oh no! He left me here! How could he do that?!
It felt like everyone was watching me again. I could feel the judgment in their eyes and I quickly turned to face away from the other partygoers. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I quickly closed to try to prevent myself from crying. Why am I here? Why didn't I do better? Why did Mom and Dad have to have a viewing party for our friends? Why did Vicchan die—
I gripped the side of the table and gasped, still keeping my eyes closed. I felt the air coming through my nose and my mouth, but it burned. I felt like the oxygen was evaporating from the room. My knees buckled as a dizzy spell overtook me—
"Champagne, sir?"
I opened my eyes and looked up. A waitress holding up a tray of several glasses of champagne was standing beside me. I quickly snatched a glass, forcing myself under control. "T-Thank you."
It was white champagne and I greedily gulped it down. The cool and smooth texture of the liquid felt like heaven running down my burning throat. I let out a harsh breath upon swallowing, and set the glass down. All at once my nerves had settled, and the ugliness in my mind had temporarily been muted The waitress had started to move away, but I called out to her. "Ah, excuse me…!"
…Gosh, there's a lot of empty glasses in front of me. How many is it? Sixteen? Fifty? Why is my tie so tight?
I set my empty glass down beside the others, although my fingers were trembling violently, and the glass fell over onto its side. Oops…no matter, I'll just stand it back up! I tried to pick the glass back up, but it felt slippery in my fingers and I couldn't pick it up. What happened to this glass? Why can't I pick it up?
…Ah well, no harm no foul. No one will care if I leave it like this, will they? Why is my tie so tight?
I turned away from the table, and I felt a giggle bubble up in my throat. My head felt like it was floating! Well, so did the rest of my body but what a great feeling! When was the last time I felt like this? Why don't I feel like this all the time? Why is my tie so tight?
Well this is a party so I might as well make the most of it do I know anyone here why is my tie so tight? My thoughts were running so fast through my head that they almost sounded like a blur. I probably did know someone here…right? Anyone?
Oh, wait! Victor! Victor is here! I can't believe I forgot Victor is here! He was so amazing tonight…but he's always amazing! I should meet him while I have the chance!
…Wait. Wait, didn't I already meet him? Oh, right! And I just walked away, I didn't say anything! That was so rude! Baka, baka Yuuri! How could you be so rude to Victor he is so amazing! You should go and make a better first impression go and find him right now why is my tie so tight?
Ugh…my tie is tight! It's choking my neck! Grunting, I reached up and pulled it off. There, much better! Oh, but I have to find Victor! I have to…oh, but what if he hates me? What if he's angry at me for walking away from him?
I'll only fix it if I talk to him I have to go and find him go find him Yuuri!
Gripping my tie in my right fist, I nodded jerkily with the resolution. I was going to find Victor, and I was going to introduce myself properly! I marched myself into the crowd of people—wow, everyone is swaying! Are they dancing? Is this the dance floor?
Where is Victor?
I searched the faces that surrounded me for a few minutes and was dumbfounded. I couldn't find Victor anywhere! Did he leave already? No, he couldn't have! The banquet is still going on and he won the Grand Prix! He couldn't have left yet!
Maybe if I call for him he'll answer me yes that's what I'll do! Hey, wait, don't I know that guy?
It wasn't Victor, but I could recognize the short blonde hair from anywhere. Hey, that's Yuri Plisetsky! His back was to me, but I knew it was him! He took gold in the Junior Division, didn't he? Yes he did I should go and say hi to him that would be polite!
What's wrong with the room? I'm walking, but the ground feels unsteady. Am I on one of those revolving dance floors? I'd better get off it quickly or I'll fall over! And I've already fallen down enough today!
…I don't know why that was funny, but I couldn't help but giggle anyways.
I walked right up to Yuri Plisetsky, but he was still facing away from me. Well, that won't do! How will he know that I'm here if he can't see me? But if I simply say his name, he might not know that I'm the one who's talking! What could I do so that he knew that I wanted to talk to him?
I've got it! I'll say his name clearly and pat him on the back! That way he'll know it's me who's talking to him!
"Yuri Plisetsky!" I greeted him. Wait, did I shout? Shouting isn't necessary when I'm standing right next to him, is it? No, I was just imagining it. Sticking to my plan I reeled my arm back and swung it forward, patting him on the center of his back.
"OI!" Yuri hollered, pitching forward so forcefully that he almost toppled to the floor. "Ty che, blyad?!" he shrieked as he straightened back up. He turned around with a fist raised, but he froze when he saw me.
"Konbanwa!" I said, patting his closed fist in greeting. Damn it, that was in Japanese! He doesn't speak Japanese, does he? He might speak English though, try English! "Good eve—"
"TY KUSOK DER'MA!" Yuri shouted, smacking my hand away. His raised voice startled the people around us. "What right do you have to hit me, you damned loser?! I'll kick your fucking ass right here, right now!"
He looked so angry…but oh my God, what a hilarious expression! His eyes got so wide and his pupils were so dilated that they took up half of his face! And the rest of his face was red and puffy, and his mouth was so wide that—
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!" Yuri shouted. More people were starting to look at us. I was laughing? Wait a minute—yes. Yes, I'm laughing. But I can't help it! His angry face looks so dumb and funny!
"Oh, that is it!" Yuri yanked open his suit overcoat and started shrugging it off. "Idi syuda! I'll teach not to—ERGH!"
His cheeks are so puffy when he gets angry! While he was yelling at me I reached out and pinched his cheeks. That seemed to stop him from yelling, but then he made more funny noises when I pulled on his cheeks. By pulling them up I even made him smile! But it made him look even funnier, and the giggles I'd been having erupted into loud, hysterical laughter. Oh, I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard!
…Wait, what was I doing? Oh, that's right! I needed to find Victor!
Yuri shouted in Russian, and he swatted my hands away. His face was still funny, but the laughing made me thirsty. I needed something to drink. I saw Yuri lift up his leg, but I turned around away from him. Gah! —The floor was still moving! I thought they turned it off! I stumbled slightly, and I even saw Yuri tumble face-first onto the floor! Couldn't they stop the floor long enough for me to find Victor?
Ooh, was that a bottle on the table? Was that the same champagne they'd been serving? There was no one near it, and I didn't see any of the wait staff with glasses! Now I'm really thirsty! How could I talk to Victor if my throat was so dry?
No one else was paying attention to the bottle, so I pick it up. Good, it's open and still full! But I had no glass—wait, didn't I have like a whole lot of glasses somewhere? But where?
Well, there was no helping it. I drank the champagne straight from the bottle. Wow, this is even better than drinking it from a glass!
Hey, did they switch the music? That song sounds catchy! It almost sounds like the song I skated to tonight! Wait—am I still skating? I can't stand still or they'll deduct points! I started swaying to the music and tried to skid—nope, I'm not on the ice. But wow, this song is fun! I like it! And moving to it is great! Yay, I'm having fun! WHOO!
Oops, I said that out loud. But who cares, this is a party! I pumped my fist as I continued dancing. The dance floor cleared and everyone was looking at me with funny faces. Ha! Clearly I was the bestest dancer at the banquet, and they were in awe of me!
I did a perfect spin, better than I did on the ice, and—Victor! There he was! Hey, Victor! I've been looking for you, you sexy bastard!
Oh. Oh, did I just say THAT out loud?! Oh, I think so—Victor's face looks strange, like he's surprised. Oh no, I did say that out loud!
…Oh well, too late to take it back now! He's looking at me I should go and introduce myself now!
"Victor!" I stumbled over to him. Someone please stop the room from spinning. I somehow came to a stop in front of him without bumping into him. "Victor, Victor, Victor!" Good! Now I know I have his attention! "M-My name is Yuuri Katsuki!" That's how I say it, right? Otherwise he might think Katsuki is my first name but that would be funny! "Victor, you are soooooooooooo amazing! You're the most amazingest guy I've ever seen! Met!" I quickly corrected myself, and then I cursed myself. Idiot! Don't look stupid in front of Victor and apologize for ignoring him earlier!
"I-I-I-I wanted to apologize for being an idiot." My voice was unsteady and my speech was slurred. How nervous was I?! Calm down Yuuri! "You're just so amazing…" No, stop it! You already told him he's amazing! I shook my head, but it made me dizzy. I leaned my face closer to Victor. "I-I mean, you're so cool and handsome and—and—and you're the reason I became a skater! S-So I don't want you to be disappointed in me!"
Why does Victor's face look so strange? Where are his eyes, his nose, his mouth? When did his head become so tiny and flat?
…Wait. Wait, wait, wait! I'm not talking to Victor! I'm talking at a CELL PHONE!
"WAUGH!" I straightened up and looked at Victor's face. Oh no, oh no! I was talking at his cell phone! He was in the middle of a call and I interrupted him! Oh God, how could this night get any worse? "I'm s-sorry Victor!"
Victor smiled at me, still holding his cell phone up. "It's all right. Would you mind if I took a few photographs of you, Yuuri?"
What? No way! Victor Nikiforov wanted to take pictures of me?! Am I dreaming? Am I drunk? Well…I'm fairly certain that I'm drunk. But Victor looks so real in front of me…his blue eyes looked kind and bright and he was smiling! He always had such a nice smile!
But I can't believe he wanted to take pictures of me. I shook myself off and straightened. I couldn't just stand here idle! I had to make an impression on him! "Yes! Yes, take pictures of me! Here, take pictures of me dancing! Dancing is fun!"
If Victor responded, I didn't hear it. The song switched to another upbeat English song. It sounded catchy so I tried to sing along with it, but I didn't know the lyrics so I ended up mumbling along to it. I spun around in a wide circle, and I laughed at how the room spun even more than it already was. My arms were flailing all over the place and my legs were so unsteady that I was nearly bumping into the people around me, but man this was fun! I really can't remember the last time I had this much fun!
But man—I was thirsty again! Good thing I had my bottle of champagne! I raised it up high to drink from it—oh boy, it's too far from my mouth! But it feels so good on my face, and most the champagne got into my mouth! That was lucky! I hope Victor got a picture of that!
"Victor!"
Oh, here comes grumpy Yuri again. Now he looks even grumpier than before! Hey, don't glare at Victor! "Why are you wasting your phone data on this drunk?! You should ignore him, he's a public embarrassment!"
"Weren't you just taking pictures of him too, Yuri?" Victor asked, his eyes not lifting from his cell phone.
HA! Yuri's puffy little angry face is turning red and purple! It's even funnier than before! "I…Uh…" Yuri stumbled over his words, which was even funnier. Suddenly he snapped up, "It's like a train wreck, watching this moron dance! His dancing is as bad as the skating he did at the competition tonight!"
Wait, what did he say? I didn't quite hear all of it. I know Yuri said the word "dancing" …He was talking about me, wasn't he? But he also said the word "competition". Unless I was mistaken…no, I'm fairly certain that he said both dance and competition. But why would he say those words?
Unless…oh wow! I got it!
Unable to hide my glee, I spread my arms wide and shouted, "DANCE CONTEST!"
Both Victor and Yuri jumped at my declaration, and so did a few other people. I stumbled over to Yuri, who tried to jump backwards away from me. Oh, but I'm faster than him! I grabbed one of his hands tight in my own. "I accept your challenge!"
"Haa?!" Yuri shouted. He tried to pull his hand loose but I held on tight. "Let me go!"
"No, no, no," I told him, leaning forward into his puffy face. His big old eyes were even larger than before! I started giggling at his funny expression as I answered his challenge. "You can't—you can't just declare a dance contest and not expect me to respond!"
"W-W-W-W…" Wow, this was a first! Yuri Plisetsky is speechless! No doubt he regrets issuing a dancing challenge to me! He looked towards Victor. "What is he talking about?!"
"It sounds like you challenged him to a dancing contest," Victor responded blithely.
"WHEN?!" Yuri snapped. "All I said was that he dances as bad as he skates!"
"Eto neumestno," Victor suddenly said in Russian.
"Mne vse ravno!" Yuri yelled back at him
"Eto neumestno," Victor repeated himself. His tone suddenly became so low that it sent a shiver straight down my spine. My whole body trembled and my knees knocked together. "Now what's the matter with you?!" Yuri demanded.
"Look." I quickly recovered and grabbed Yuri's other hand and clasped it between mine. I looked him straight in the eye, which admittedly wasn't difficult to do with how wide they currently are. "Look, I understand. I-I understand that you're intimidated by me."
"Wait, what?!"
"I u-understand you're afraid to lose to me. But you don't need to feel i-i-intimidated. We're all here to have fun."
"That's right, Yuri," Victor chimed in, his tone suddenly becoming cheerful again. "It would be unfair of you to back down now."
Someone else suddenly appeared beside Victor and threw an arm around his shoulders. Oh hey, it's Christophe Giacometti! He won silver in the Grand Prix Final tonight! Congratulations, Christophe!
"Danke, but Chris will do," he told me, and I realized once again I said all of this out loud. He winked at me before looking at Yuri. "Victor's right, kid. You can't back down after issuing such a bold challenge."
"A-Are you both as drunk as he is?!" Yuri demanded. He tried to pull his hands free once more, but I refused to let go. He wasn't going to get away after he challenged. "All right, all right, FINE! I'll do your stupid dance contest!"
"I've got the perfect music!" Chris announced, holding up his cell phone. "Don't start your dance contest until I hook this up!" he hurried off.
"Ugh, your sweaty hands made my hands sweaty!" Yuri grumbled, frantically wiping his hands on his blue slacks, but we moved back out onto the dance floor. Other partygoers had been dancing, but quickly moved aside. Yeah, that's right! This is serious business going on here! I'm going to dance in a dance contest! I might as well win at something tonight! For some reason, that thought made me laugh again and I laughed loudly. Yuri gave me another funny look, and I wondered if I was speaking my thoughts out loud again. Oh well!
Wait, huh? Why is my tie in the pocket of my suit coat? Did I forget to put it on before I came down to the banquet? Oh no, oh no. No wonder everybody was looking at me funny—I forgot to put on my tie! Oh, I had to look awful! Grumbling to myself I quickly swung the tie around my shoulders and struggled to tie it. This should be no problem—I think I've tied ties drunk before, so this should be a piece of cake!
Ack—how did it get around my shoulder? Augh, this stupid suit coat is getting in my way! I yanked off the suit coat and tossed it aside as I struggled with my tie. I heard Yuri ask "What are you doing?" in a deadpan voice, but I didn't answer him. God, at this rate everybody is going to think I'm an idiot if I can't get this blasted tie tied!
Graceful and beautiful hands suddenly grasped both sides of my tie. "Here, allow me."
Victor! Victor, Victor, Victor! Oh, he's tying my tie! He's such a nice guy! I looked up, wanting to thank him, but the room started spinning from the sudden motion and I swayed on my feet. Victor is so cool—he managed to tie my tie perfectly around my neck, even though my body was swaying back and forth as though I were on the deck of a ship in the middle of a storm. "There you are. Good luck."
HA! Victor said good luck to me, Yuri Plisetsky, and not you! I looked over to him and grinned in victory, and he of course glared at me with his puffy red face. I burst into laughter once more, and I heard him growl menacingly like a tiger. No—more like a house cat! I laughed even harder.
Loud and very vibrant music exploded over the banquet hall speakers, startling some of the partygoers. But not me—this was my chance to shine! I swung myself around and started doing ballet jumps. I would make Minako proud with my moves! I tried to be as graceful as possible, but the floor was unsteady underneath my feet and I kept stumbling. Heh—now I know how Minako feels when you try to dance under the influence of alcohol! I looked towards Yuri and saw that he was also doing ballet jumps! Hey, that's not fair! Don't copy me! I knew I had to change it up if I wanted to win this contest.
I bet Yuri doesn't know how to breakdance I can do that and win!
I threw myself onto the floor and I heard Yuri shriek in surprise as I started doing flares. I was spinning a full 360-degrees several times in quick succession, and I saw Yuri's shocked face during one of the spins, and then I saw Victor's face and he looked ecstatic. Grinning to myself I spun out of my last flare and into several four steps before holding myself up in a Nike freeze. I opened my eyes briefly and saw Victor with his cell phone—yay! He was still taking pictures of me! And was he only pointing the camera at me and not at Yuri? I glanced at Yuri and I saw him doing a series of grumpy jetés—and Victor didn't point his phone at him! That means I won, right?!
Surprisingly, the dance contest continued for a few more minutes despite how obvious it was that I won. Finally, Yuri threw up his hands and yelled, "I give up! This stupid dancing was a waste of time and I'm not having any fun! Where is Yakov, I'm leaving!" he stomped off in his usual grumpy manner, arms swinging from side to side and everything!
"Yatta!" I shouted, breathing heavily as I pumped my fists. Boy, my shirt felt so hot! But I didn't care as I pumped my fists in victory. I quickly realized though that I was speaking Japanese, and switched to English so everyone could share in my victory. "I won! I won!"
A hand suddenly slid across the small of my back, and cool breath stirred the hair next to my ear. "Care to take on a new challenger?"
Oh, my God. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod. Was this real? Was the almighty Victor challenging me to a dance-off?! I looked up at him with awe, and—either I had too much to drink, or this living legend of figure-skating looked absolutely radiant. How could I say no to him?
Why would I say no to him?
But this couldn't be the same as Yuri—I didn't want to beat Victor, not really. I quickly realized it would be more fun if I danced with him! So I watched him and copied all of his dance movements. Victor seemed to quickly notice what I was doing and also mimicked my movements. He was moving quickly and so I picked up the pace to keep up with him—stupid basted shirt! It was sticking to me and now I was overheated! I spun around, my back briefly to Victor, and came to the conclusion that I needed to unbutton my shirt to get comfortable. I loosened my tie—why did this feel familiar? —and started pulling the buttons loose. People were giving me funny looks again, so I made funny faces back at them as I successfully unbuttoned my shirt, leaving it open in the front. I turned back around and saw Victor doing some jumps. I suddenly found myself fixated on the perfect curve of his back, and when his right leg stretched back I launched forward and pressed myself against his perfect back, mimicking the frontward stretch of his left hand while hooking my arm around his waist.
Oh crap, I just grabbed him without asking! Would he get upset? Then Victor turned and smiled at me, and I knew he wasn't upset. His beautiful, radiant expression made my chest feel warm and my already hammering heart accelerated. I was still surprised though when he grabbed my right hand in his, and spun me around.
Wow, yay! I still couldn't believe it! Victor Nikiforov is dancing with me! ME! He's looking at me and he's touching me! God, he smells good. Oops, did I said that out loud too? No, I couldn't have—Victor is still smiling at me. Oh, but his cologne is making me dizzy…or is it all the champagne I drank? Oh, who cares! No more admiring this beautiful and wonderful man from afar for me!
I dipped him, grabbing his thigh with one hand and cupping his cheek with my other. He's still smiling, laughing—wow, his lips look so soft. They're so full and elegant, just like him! My mouth is so boring compared to his! But oh God, his mouth is so sexy. And it's right there, I want to kiss him.
–Oh, I didn't say that out loud, did I?! No, Victor's still smiling so I must have kept that to myself. But yes—I want to kiss him. I want to lean down and suck on that bottom lip. I want to taste his mouth and kiss him hard. Mmm, should I? What if he gets mad? Maybe if I lean in really quick, I can—
OOF!
One moment I was fixated on Victor's mouth, the next I felt something shove me hard from behind, sending me straight down to the floor.
"Victor, pay attention!" Yuri was shouting above me. Huh? What? Didn't he leave the party? "That drunk moron looked ready to eat your face!"
Victor didn't reply for a long moment. When he did his tone sounded rigid. "…I noticed, Yuri."
Grunting, I struggled into a sitting position on the floor. Wait…why am I on the floor? Did I fall down? A stab of horror suddenly filled my body. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no I fell down! I fell down in front of Victor again baka baka BAKA Yuuri! Can't you do anything right?! I ducked down and groaned, and paused when I saw my bare, sweaty chest. Huh? What happened to my shirt? I grabbed the lapels and held it open. My shirt looked like it was covered in stains. It's open was it always open? Man, it makes me feel hot I feel so hot should I take it off? Yes, I should take it off—
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Yuri's shriek directly above my head rattled violently in my ears. I groaned pitifully and slapped my hands over my ears, but the ringing was sharp and horrible. Tears stung my eyes and I ducked my head. "…Why are you yelling at me?" I mumbled.
"Get some dignity and put your shirt back on!" Yuri hollered above me.
"Yuri, it's not necessary to yell at him when he's so close to you," Chris scolded as he came back over to us. "Why is Yuuri Katsuki on the floor?"
"This Yuri knocked him down," Victor said coolly, and I saw him pointing at Yuri Plisetsky out of the corner of my eye. But Yuri was making me angry, and I grumbled to myself as I shrugged my shirt back on and buttoned it up.
"Yuuri, are you all right?" okay, I'm sure Victor's talking me and not the other Yuri because he's looking at me. "Do you need help standing up?" he offered one of his hands to me.
But I wanted to look cool in front of Victor, and decided to stand up on my own. "Thank you Victor, I got this." I got onto my knees, but my lower body felt chilly and uncomfortable. I fell back down onto my backside and stared down into my lap with confusion. "What's wrong with my pants?" I said out loud instead of inside my head. "They feel cold."
"You had a mishap with your champagne bottle, darling." Chris leaned over me, his eyes bright and sympathetic. He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. "You poured champagne all over yourself. Do you feel uncomfortable?"
…Yes. Yes, it was very uncomfortable. I breathed heavily as I stared down at the tight slacks squeezing my lower body. "S-Should I take them off…?" I asked Chris.
A sparkled entered Chris's eye. "Well—"
"NO!" Why was Yuri still shouting? Can he only shout and not speak normally anymore? "Don't encourage him! Who would want to see this loser without his pants on anyway?!"
"You'd be surprised, Yuri," Chris said cheerfully. He looked away then and smiled at whoever was standing behind me.
"Well I don't want to see something so disgusting!" Yuri snapped. "No one needs to—"
"Okay," I said, nodding with determination. I grabbed my belt. "I'm taking my pants off!"
Yuri screamed again—what a funny sound! And Chris hooted and cheered as I fumbled with my fly. Wow, Chris was right—my pants were completely soaked in the front! This was so embarrassing, I needed to take them off quickly before anyone saw the wet marks and thought I had an accident! I struggled with my pants, and fell backwards onto my back on the floor trying to yank them off. It was a terrible struggle, but I was finally able to kick my pants down to my ankles, only for them to get caught on my shoes. I fumbled with one shoe while Chris grabbed the other. "Would you like some assistance?"
"Der'mo, this is ridiculous!" Yuri fumed, gesturing wildly with one hand. "You're all adults acting like idiots!"
"Thank you," I said again as Chris and I successfully managed to pull off my shoes, and my pants by extension. Whoo, I feel much better now! Chris brusquely stood up, and unbuttoned his collar. "That's my cue then."
"Oh?" Victor said somewhere beside me. "I was wondering where that pole came from."
Pole? What pole?
Chris grinned at Victor. "I saw in that shop and couldn't resist." Abruptly he ripped open his own shirt, sending buttons flying. Yuri shouted in disgust and several partygoers mumbled indistinctly as he shrugged off his shirt and suit coat, leaving his upper body bare except for his tie. Within seconds his pants, shoes, and socks followed and he stood there proudly in the middle of the dance floor with only his underwear on. "Maybe it would've been better to leave everyone in suspense and do a slow striptease, but I feel impatient tonight. Now all I need is the right music and we'll all set!" Chris ran off, and the crowd of people quickly parted to get out of his way.
I stared after him in silence, and then looked up at Yuri. "…Why did he take off his clothes?"
"DON'T TALK TO ME, YOU BASTARD!" Yuri yelled at me.
"Yuri, please use your indoor voice," Victor said softly. I gasped as I suddenly felt Victor hook his arms into my underarms. "Let me help you, Yuuri." and hoisted me up onto my feet.
The upbeat and peppy dance music abruptly went away, replaced by music that was blatantly sexual and erotic. People shouted with shock and moved out of the way as Chris (while holding a newly opened bottle of champagne) lunged at a pole that seemed to appear out of nowhere on the other side of the dance floor. He did a full basic hook spin around the pole a few times before lifting himself up into a swan. The moves he was able to do were incredible, and very advanced—a knee hold, cupid, shoulder mount, and even Eros! He swung the open champagne bottle wildly, and alcohol sprayed all over the place. Victor was clapping and cheering beside me, and on my other side Yuri was cursing violently under his breath in Russian.
Hey, wait a minute! This isn't fair! Why does Chris get to hog the spotlight after I won the dance contest?! I stumbled forward, my arms stretched out. "My turn, my turn!"
Chris laughed and gracefully hopped off the pole. "It's all yours."
I had never pole danced before, and it occurred to me that I was slightly more dressed than Chris—I was wearing a tie, a shirt, my underwear, and socks. But I didn't let it deter me as I grabbed the pole and twisted my body around it. I did a superman and a leg hang, but mostly all I did was twirl around the pole and rub my body against it. Gah, I wasn't as good as Chris at this! Man—my shirt was making me hot again though! I tried to pole dance as I unbuttoned my shirt. I think I heard Yuri yell something from somewhere, but I shouted a happy "WHOO!" as I threw my shirt off. I was slipping in my socks while I worked the pole but I didn't care! I was having fun!
I suddenly heard, "Let me join in!" and then suddenly Chris was back on the pole with me. Okay, so it was a duet? Fine by me! He hung onto the pole loosely and I held on tight to the pole as I dipped him. He seemed pretty flexible—he was able to bend his back pretty deep. Good for him! Chris pulled back up and we almost knocked heads as we continued our duet dancing. He didn't smell as good as Victor—his cologne wasn't as appealing, maybe. Was he wearing cologne? No matter, Chris's body scent didn't make me dizzy like Victor's did.
Although dancing with him is still fun, and I followed Chris's lead and mimicked the moves he did. Okay, only some of them. I couldn't hold my body properly in the right position.
Chris then twisted his body into a reverse inverted V, and I planted my feet on his thighs and stood up straight. We held the position for an extended period, and—wait, how did I get the champagne bottle? Why did I have it? I'm not thirsty. Not caring in the slightest I turned the bottle upside down, and the liquid gushed out onto the floor. I felt Chris's thighs tremble beneath my feet and lowered myself onto the floor as the song finish. Chris gracefully swung back up into a standing position, and—nobody's clapping. Why isn't anyone clapping? We just danced our hearts out! Oh wait, Victor's clapping! Okay, that's all that matters!
Chris cheered, and threw an arm around my shoulders. The motion startled me, and we slipped on the champagne I'd spilled and we fell to the floor. I looked at Chris, and he looked at me, and we burst into hysterical laughter.
"That was incredible!" Wow, Victor looked really happy! He was carrying my shirt—Why did he have my shirt? Oh, I must have given it to him. Oh, and he had my glasses too? When did I take them off? How long were they off? — "Great job, both of you!"
Chris was talking and laughing, and I slid my glasses back on and shrugged on my uncomfortable shirt. I buttoned it up, but my tie was getting in the way of my buttons! Grumbling, I adjusted the tie. No, it's too low. Maybe a little higher…a little higher…there! But why is my tie in my face now?
"Victor, please stop encouraging these two to dance!" Yuri snapped at Victor.
Dance? Oh no, I forgot! The dance contest Yuri had challenged me to! We still had to do the contest, but I was so tired from pole-dancing with Chris!
I have to do it I have to win but I feel so tired I don't want to look stupid in front of Victor…
Victor? Oh right, there he is! He's standing right in front of me! Oh, I've always wanted to be near him! He's so cool and talented and everything wonderful!
"Victor!" I shouted, which startled him slightly. Oh, the way his blue eyes widened, and his silver hair hanging down in his face—God, he was handsome! I could just hug him!
Why not hug him? He's right there take your chance!
"Victor!" I jumped up and glomped him, pinning his arms to his sides. I didn't jump high enough and my head was at his chest-level, but I don't care! I'm hugging Victor! His body feels nice…I can almost feel the muscles of his abdomen against me…I felt like moving my body against him…
"Victor…" I said, still clinging to him. I couldn't control my body. But I had to speak…I had to speak to him once and for all! "Once this season ends, my family runs a hot spring so please come."
What's wrong with Yuri? He's making these funny noises. Well, it doesn't matter! Oh wait, but we still had the dance contest to do! I couldn't lose face in front of Victor!
I looked up at him—did his expression change? I don't know. I let him go and leaned back slightly. "If I win this dance-off…" I said. "You'll become my coach, right?"
Wait, did I want Victor to be my coach? I already had Celestino. But now that I've said it, I realized that it was the best idea in the whole world! I grinned up at Victor and laughed as I glomped him again. "BE MY COACH, VICTOR!"
It was strange…so strange. Did something change? I feel like something changed. I was hugging Victor, and he didn't push me away. I heard him gasp—was he surprised? Was he angry I was demanding something of him when we're competitors? I don't know!
A hand caught the scruff of my neck, and I found myself flying backwards away from Victor. "YuURI KATSUKI! What in God's name are you doing?!"
Uh oh, I'm in trouble. I shrank a little into myself and looked up into Coach Celestino's angry face. "I leave you alone for a couple hours and this is how you behave?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Where are your pants?!"
"Slava Bogu, his coach is here," Yuri said, sighing heavily in relief.
"Um…" I looked around myself, but the room seemed blurry and unfamiliar to me. "I…don't know?"
"Victor Nikiforov, please accept our sincerest apologies," Celestino said, bowing deeply. Why was he apologizing? Victor doesn't look mad! "Please think nothing of this shameful behavior. Yuuri generally does not act like this. Yuuri, apologize to him right this minute!" he shoved me forward.
"Um…uh…" I looked between Celestino and Victor and bowed deeply. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's all right," Victor said, but…his tone sounded shaky. Was he upset with me then? "There was no harm done."
"Can you get him out of here?!" Yuri snapped, gesturing at me. "He did a striptease with a stripper pole!"
"That's not entirely acc—" Chris began.
"Yuuri, forget your pants we're leaving right now!" Celestino grabbed me by my arm.
"C-Can I speak to Victor for a few minutes?" I asked him. He didn't answer me and started dragging me out of the banquet. I struggled against him but he then began dragging me out while gripping my arm with both hands. "N-No, wait a minute! I want to talk to Victor! I want to be with Victor!" I started shouting these words to emphasize the feeling behind them, but Celestino ignored me. I turned one last time to look at Victor. Chris was cheerfully waving goodbye to me and Yuri was giving me the middle finger.
But Victor…Victor looked so beautiful. His eyes were shining and his skin was glowing. He looked like he was smiling…but he looked wistful. Was he sad? Did I really make his night miserable?
I can't do anything right can I?
…Oh, my God. Oh, my Gooooooooooooooooood.
I'm dying. That's really all there is to it. My head felt like it was hit with a hammer a few times, and since waking up I'd already vomited three times. This is absolutely the worst hangover I'd ever experienced in my life.
And I don't know how it happened. Did I really drink that much last night?
"Nnnnnnnnnnrgh…" I rolled onto my stomach and covered my head with a pillow to block out the pain. It didn't work. "I smell like champagne…It's awful!"
"Yes, it is."
I slowly looked up and saw Coach Celestino take a seat next to my bed. He had a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water. "Take two of these and drink this entire glass."
I shook my head, but my vision rattled and I hid my head underneath my pillow. "I…I'll just throw it up…"
"No, you won't." He kept his tone gentle. "Hold out your hand, Yuuri."
Despite my objections I did what I was told and he dropped two aspirin into my palm. And under his direction I swallowed the aspirin and drank the entire glass of water. It did nothing to make me feel better.
"When your head clears, hop in the shower," Celestino told me. "We have a plane to catch this afternoon."
"I know…" I sat up in a daze. I pressed a hand to my forehead. "I…I don't remember anything from last night. D-Did we go to the banquet?"
"…Yes we did," Celestino said, very reluctantly. "You should take care not to get that drunk again, Yuuri. Alcohol blackouts like that can be dangerous."
"R…Right." I didn't want to nod again. I looked at Celestino fearfully. "Did…Did anything bad happen last night?"
"No," Celestino told me quickly. "You got drunk at the banquet and passed out in your bed. That's all that happened."
"Really?" I looked down at myself, and laughed in relief. "That's great! My dad gets really wild when he gets drunk, so I can only imagine what I act like when I get badly drunk! I already humiliated myself sober, I'm glad I didn't do it while drunk!"
Celestino flinched, and looked like he wanted to say something. But he shook his head and shook up. "When the aspirin kicks in go and take a shower. Our flight is at 2:30."
"I know." I was glad I was going back to Detroit and not Hasetsu. It was better facing acquaintances with my humiliating defeat than my family and friends.
So I drank so much that I had an alcohol blackout. Good thing nothing major happened during that time…
Thanks for reading!