Coulson woke up with a gasp and called out to any of his teammates as he wondered through the inside of the damaged Bus. "Is everybody alright?!"
"I'm over here!" Skye called back, waving her hand.
"Skye." Coulson breathed in relief, and over to her and checked if there were any injuries. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Skye gasped, taking a moment to stand herself up. "I'll live." She looks around in confusion. "Can somebody just tell me what just happened?"
"It was the cube." Coulson answered. "It must've done something."
Skye walked over to one of the windows and noticed something. "It's still the middle of the day, and you might be surprised, we have just landed."
"May." Coulson responded immediately. "She must've landed."
"Okay, she would find her and the others." Skye suggested.
"Good idea, call me if you find anyone." Coulson ordered.
Coulson runs to the cockpit and to his relief, saw that it was May, who was lying unconscious, but with her seatbelt fastened. Coulson checks on her.
"May?" Coulson whispered as he shook her softly. "May?"
"Hmmmm." May groaned.
"Agent May, I need you right now in all the world." Coulson encouraged her to wake up and sighed. "Please."
"Yes sir." May groaned twice with her eye lids tighly shut. Seconds pass, she raised her head up and opened her eyes at last. She looks at Coulson and speaks normally, but confused. "Have we landed?"
"Yeah." Coulson nodded. "Are you hurt?"
"A little." May replied and nodded her head. "But I'll manage."
"Good, because we need you to send a distress call." Coulson ordered her. "Can you get Director Fury or Agent Hand in the line?"
"I'll do my best, sir." May complied weakly.
Outside the Bus, Coulson, Skye, Grant, Fitz, Jemma, and May saw themselves surrounded by a greenish forest.
"So where are we exactly?" Fitz asked.
"Who knows?" Skye said to him. "I've been spending a least an hour on my work-pad, and it doesn't seem to tell me where we are now."
"Okay, that sounds bad." Grant sighed slightly.
"I managed to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. message and a signal." Coulson said to the group. "If Director Fury gets this, then I'm sure he'll send backup."
"So… does that mean we have to stay here and wait?" Fitz asked.
"Probably one of us should stay and look out for the Bus." Jemma suggested.
"Not to worry, I managed to plant a few tracking devices." May told her and turned to face Coulson. "And one behind the back of Coulson, just in case."
"Yeah, thanks for that, May." Coulson pretended to acknowledge that and gave her a thumb up. "Though, it itches a bit, but I can manage."
"You just had to say it." May pretended to smile.
"So, you placed a tracking device on the Bus and Coulson, so that way S.H.I.E.L.D… can find us?" Skye asked that.
"That's right." Coulson replied and gave her a nod when he showed her his wristband which revealed a hologram of the area where the team and the Bus was. "Ward and I were able to map this whole area. We can go forward and find water if necessary."
"So we're all going together?" Fitz asked, not sounding thrilled by this. "What happens if we got lost?"
"If we're far away, then this map of mine show us the way back to the Bus or even better, we have a signal." Coulson explained. "So that means?"
"Means we won't get lost." Jemma scoffed and sounded quite excited. "Let's pack up our belongings then." She ran back inside the Bus.
"Hey, wait!" Fitz called and ran after her.
Skye walks up to Coulson and asked. "You sure you know what your doing?"
"I am." Coulson answered. "Even if we're not on Earth, then I guess we know that we're on a different planet."
For numerous hours, Coulson and his team had been wondering the woods, checking and searching for any streams, rivers, or lakes to get water, but now it was getting close to dark. That was when a shocking discovery caught the attention of the entire team.
"Is that… smoke?" Skye asked, pointing at the direction where the smoke was coming from.
"And so it is." Grant sighed in relief. "Looks like we're not the only ones here."
"Probably campers." Coulson assumed.
"So far good then." Jemma said, feeling a bit relieved. "Maybe we're stuck in California."
"I don't think so." Ward said, not wanting to think that.
"So far, I can hear the sound of loud laughter." May said, walking ahead of the team. "We must be getting close, but I suggest precaution."
"Ah forget precaution, all we need to do is ask these campers where are." Fitz argued.
"C'mon Fitz, that's an order." Grant ordered.
"Fine." Fitz sighed.
While Coulson, Fitz, Jemma, and Skye were walking ahead, Ward walks up to her and decides to have a chat with her.
"So where's your sidearm?" Ward asked.
May looks at him and replied. "I have it hidden, but if I need it, I'll use it."
"Right. I forgot I was working with 'The Cavalry'." Ward recalled.
May tenses hearing this and shoots Ward a glare. "Don't ever call me that."
"Apologies." Ward said and decided to tell something. "But I heard the stories, what went down in Bahrain, about you in action. You know, it was smart of Coulson to pull you out of retirement. It's nice to have a trusted friend who has your back."
May didn't want to reply to him about anything of what had happened back in Bahrain. Instead, she walked away from him, giving Ward a sigh. The team was getting close to the camping spot, and as they hid, they noticed two campers were sitting around a fire on which a cauldron of something is cooking. The first camper, who was called Bert, was the cook stirring the cauldron and wearing an apron. The second one was sitting down, wearing a dirty vest and carried a dirty handkerchief.
"Wow." Skye breathed in shock. "And for a second, I thought they were ordinary campers, but it doesn't seem they are."
"What the bloody hell are those… giants?" Fitz asked quietly.
"What is this, Jack and the Giant Beanstalk?" Skye asked quietly with a scoff.
"Now we know for sure that this planet we're on is not home." May whispered directly to Coulson.
"Yeah." Coulson whispered, nodding his head.
"What a wonderful surprise." Jemma whispered, intrigued by this. "Isn't it Fitz?"
"Yeah." Fitz smiled, pretendly.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow." Bert spoke.
"Mutton?" Skye asked quietly, confused of what that word meant. "What does that mean?"
"It means the flesh of a sheep." Fitz answered quietly.
"They eat sheep?" Skye whispered that question, looking shocked and disgusted. "Ah."
"Well, who knows what those smelly barbarians eat." Grant whispered sharply.
Coulson noticed another giant walking towards the fire, carrying a pony under each arm. "Don't keep your hopes up, cause there's another one coming with two helpless ponies."
Jemma was horrified and gasped quietly when she saw this. "They're going to eat ponies? Not ponies."
"What seems to be the problem?" Skye asked, looking at her with a slight grin on her face.
"Ponies are so soft, cuddly, lovely, and adorable animals." Jemma expressed her feeling softly about ponies.
"Well, there's nothing we can do, cause what Ward said, they are smelly." May talked about the giants.
"Do you think one of us should go over there and make contact with them?" Skye asked, suggesting an idea.
"Good idea, but none of us should risk that." Coulson said, agreeing to the plan, but didn't want to go along the plan.
"So that means we won't save the poor ponies?" Jemma asked quietly with a sad-look on her face.
"No." Coulson, May, and Grant whispered together.
Bert continued to stir his homemade mutton meal in the cauldron as he continued to talk to his brother William. "Every time, always mutton."
"Ah, wish we can have something else." William complained.
"Quit yer' griping." The other troll said, who was named Tom, continued to hold the two horses on each side of his arms and gave out a grin. "These ain't sheep. These is West Nags!" He places the two ponies in a pen with two other ponies he grabbed. "Besides, these young fellas will make a fine meal for tomorrow night."
"Oh, I don't like horse." William complained again, disgusted as he sniffed his nose and rubbed with his fingers. "I never have. Not enough fat on them."
"Well, it's better than leathery old farmer." Bert said, recalling what he ate before. "All skin and bone, he was. I'm still pickin' bits of him out of me teef."
"AH-CHOO!" William sneezed very loud, sending snot into the boiling pot and liquid was heard splashing from inside.
"Well, that's lovely, that is, a floater." Bert remarked on that.
"Oh, might improve the flavor!" Tom added, thinking how good this stew would be with William's snot in it.
"Ah! There's more where that came from." William said, offering to provide more of his snot to impress Tom and let out a disgusting snort.
Bert noticed what he was about to and he quickly grabbed William by the nose, but not with a happy face, but an angry one as he shouted. "Oh no you don't!"
"OW!" William squealed as Bert still held him by the nose.
"Now sit down, and don't even think of sneezing in the pot again!" Bert yelled at his brother and threw him down. "I just cooked this dinner tonight! Last meal I had in mind was ruined!"
"Well you know that wasn't my fault!" William complained.
"It doesn't matter whose fault it was, it was still ruined." Bert recalled what had happened. "Just use your handkerchief for blimey sake."
"AH-AH-CHOO!" William sneezed again, but this time using his handkerchief he pulls out from behind him and snorted for a very long time. He groaned as he put his handkerchief away and turned to face the ponies. "Well, I hope you're gonna gut these nags. But I don't like the stinky parts."
Bert turned to see William up from his seat and was very infuriated as he hit him very hard with his ladle that he used for stirring.
"I said sit down!" Bert exclaimed.
"OW!" William squealed in pain.
"Doesn't seem these guys know how to make a fine meal." Coulson whispered.
"More likely they're disgusting." Skye said, disgusted of what they were doing during the meal.
"Sssh, keep your voice down." May whispered sharply to her. "You don't want them to hear us."
"Sorry." Skye whispered apologetically.
Suddenly, Tom began to sniff through the air, catching a scent of something.
"You smell that?" Tom asked, sniffing through the air.
"What do you smell?" Bert wanted to know.
"Smells like man-flesh." Tom described the scent.
"Ah you must be smelling things." Bert grumbled. "Must've been the flesh we had a couple of sundowns ago and its still rotting."
"Ah, its not that." Tom argued and sniffed again through the air. "I swear to you, I smell the scent of living human flesh, and it smells close to me."
"Maybe there's more we can fetch." William assumed.
"There is no more!" Bert exclaimed to that. "We're having our today's dinner and I don't want it spoiled!"
"Well I'm starving, so are we having horse tonight or wot?!" Tom asked Bert, complaining on what meal he was wanting to have.
"Shut your cakehole." Bert said, sounding quite annoyed of Tom's complaining for food. "You'll eat what I give ya."
"How come he's the cook?" Tom asked, annoyed by this. "Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken."
"Except the chicken." William added.
"Well it tastes like fish." Tom guessed.
"I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice." Bert said, but when he heard a pony neighing lightly, he paused for one moment and then decided to go on talking and stirring. "Here's what I want. How bout; 'Thank you very much, Bert. Lovely stew, Bert'. How hard is that?" He noticed something was missing. "Hmm, it just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung." He managed to find the squirrel dung in the stew. "Here…" That was when he turns to face William angrily, seeing him picking up a mug of grog. "That's my grog!"
Tom chuckles nervously. "Uhh, uhh. Uhhhhh ha… sorry."
Bert hits William with his ladle again, knocking him down and took a couple of seconds to get himself up and sits back down. After seeing how hot the stew was, Bert decided to be the first to taste it in his ladle.
"Ooh, that is beautifully balanced, that is." Bert remarked the taste of the stew he made. He turns to William and lets him taste some of it in the ladle. "Wrap your around that, mate. Eh? Good, innit? Heh, heh, heh. That's why I'm the cook."
"Oh, me guts are grumbling." Tom groaned. "I've got to snaffle something. Flesh I need, flesh."
William stand up and scratches his bottom and then sits himself down. As he was about to sneeze, he reaches behind for his handkerchief and sneeze once again, but once he did, he suddenly noticed that what he sneezed at was not his handkerchief. It was a small person. This individual had no shoes, but hairy feet. It was shock that surprised Coulson and his team, seeing all the snot all over the poor fella.
"AAH BLIMEY!" William screamed in alarm and was quite shocked on what he was holding in his hand. "Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me hooter! It's got arms and legs and everyfing."
"Oh no." Skye breathed in shock.
"What is it?" Tom asked, staring at the little folk.
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wriggles around." William responded in nervous tone, shaking the little folk off the napkin and onto the ground.
The little folk quickly stands up and tries to figure out a way to escape, but he couldn't since Tom and William blocked his way to escape.
"What are you then? An oversized squirrel?" Tom asked, wondering who he was and threatened him with a filleting knife.
"I'm a burglar- uhh, Hobbit." The Hobbit answered correctly, but foolishly added two words by mistake.
"A Burglar Hobbit?" William asked, confused.
"Can we cook him?" Tom suggested in eating the young hobbit.
"We can try!" William growled and giggled.
William tries to grab the hobbit, but he dodges, only to be cornered by Bert, who pressing him with his laddle.
"He wouldn't make more than a mouthful, not when he's skinned and boned!" Bert suggested something else.
The hobbit quickly turns away, only for Tom to corner him and hold his filleting knife in front of him.
"Perhaps there's more Burglar Hobbits around these parts." Tom stated, thinking there was more of the hobbit's species that can be found. "Might be enough for a pie."
Just as Tom pushed his knife into the hobbit, he eventually tries to run away from the nasty, ugly giants who were planning to eat him up for a second part of dinner of the ongoing night.
"Grab him!" Bert ordered, trying to grab the hobbit.
"It's too quick!" William shouted.
As the trolls try to catch the hobbit, who was running around trying to dodge them, Bert accidentally hits William with his ladle while trying to hit Bilbo.
"Come here, you little..." Tom growled ferociously until he eventually caught the young hobbit by the legs and held him upside down. "Gotcha! Now... are there any more of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?"
"Nope." The Hobbit answered, shaking his head. "Just me."
William walks behind the dangling hobbit and growled. "He's lying."
"No I'm not!" Bilbo said, trying to get out of this.
"Hmm, how do we get him to talk?" Tom asked.
"Hold his toes over the fire." William decided. "Make him squeal."
That was when Coulson, Ward, and May come out of the bushes and aim their guns directly at the giants while Skye, Fitz, and Jemma were behind them.
"Put him down now!" Coulson yelled at them, threatening them.
William turns around and was surprised to see humans. "I knew it! I knew there were humans wondering about!"
"What'da mean you?!" Tom growled at his brother. "I'm the one who caught the scent. But since this little burglar hobbit ain't worth the trouble, then perhaps these humans will make a fine meal."
"Ah, you don't want to eat us," Fitz spoke to them. "We, ah..."
"Fitz, let it go." Ward said, holding his gun. "We're not going to get eaten by these ugly, barbaric brutes."
"UGLY BRUTES!" Tom exclaimed. "Who ya calling us ugly brutes you filthy human scum?"
"This is your last warning, we're going to ask you to put that man down or we will open fire." Coulson warned the ugly giants.
"Fire? What does he mean open fire?" William asked, confused.
May sighed and fired a two shots directly at William's foot.
"OWW! OWWWW! OHOH!" William squealed in pain.
"That's what he means." May answered.
"What the blimey is that?" Bert demanded.
"Oh I'm sorry, you don't what these weapons we're holding in our bare hands?" Coulson asked hastily and nodded. "Okay. They are called guns. They fire bullets and we can aim at any spot we want. So we're going to give you one more chance. Drop him or I'll let Agent May shoot you all in the eyes."
"Drop him now!" May exclaimed.
Tom growled and threw the young hobbit directly at Grant, who managed to catch him, but knocking them both down. That was when they heard the sound of shouting from behind the team. Coming out of the bushes were a group of thirteen bearded individuals that were known as Dwarves. Their names were Ori, Dori, Nori, Dwalin, Balin, Fili, Kili, Gloin, Oin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur. The leader of the group, who was leading the dwarves, was named Thorin Oakenshield. The team looks at the charging dwarves, who begin to slash the three trolls.
"Who the hell are these guys?" Ward asked, confused.
"Don't know, but I think we should find out after we beat these brutes." Coulson suggested.
Thorin charges directly to Bert and raised his sword to slash him in the hand. Bert yowled in pain when he felt the sword strike him and backed away. May fired two shots at him while Fili and Kili jump on him. Bofur wielded his hammer and landed it very hard on William's foot. Tom turned away, like he was not interested in fighting, but that was when Thorin, Nori, and Dori start striking at him. This caused Tom to unleash his rage, and grabbed Nori and threw across the fire. Dwalin came right up to William and landed his hammer on William's foot also.
"OW!" William yowled.
When Bofur lost his hammer after been shoved aside by Bert, Ward grabs it and struck Bert's foot which caused him to roar in agony.
"Get the sacks!" Tom shouted towards Bert and William. "Stick'em in the sacks!"
While Bilbo, Skye and Fitz took cover and hid, Jemma notcied a knife that was lying on the ground. Seeing the four ponies neighing in a panick from all the fighting, Jemma decided to do the right thing and ran over to the pen with the knife. She starts to cut the ropes while Coulson, Ward, May, and the Dwarves were fighting off the ugly giants. May slides underneath William and shot him three times at him in the chest.
"YAAAH!" William screamed. "OW!"
William angrily grabs May, but she kicked him two times. That was when Ori comes to her rescue and fired a slingshot directly at William's left eye.
"OHH!" William moaned, releasing May and covering his eye with his right hand for a moment. Then, he focuses his attention on Ori and chases him.
Ori runs for his life until Tom grabs him until Ward leaped up onto Tom, who released the young dwarf from his grasp. Coulson was shooting at Bert, but that was when Thorin landed his sword directly underneath him. Bert shrieked and landed on his knees in pain, letting Dwalin to swing his hammer directly at his face.
As the fighting continues, Jemma successfully cuts the ropes off, allowing the ponies to bolt away from the pen. That was when Tom noticed what she was doing and angrily rushes towards her. This caused the fighting to stop when Coulson, Ward, May, Fitz, Skye, the hobbit, and dwarves seeing Bert and Tom holding Jemma by the arms and legs.
"Jemma!" Fitz yelled in alarm, seeing his friend and begins to run.
"No!" Ward shouted and grabbed him.
"Lay down your arms... or we'll rip her's off!" Tom threatened them. "Its your choice!"
Coulson and Thorin look at Jemma with frustration.
"Do as they say." Coulson ordered and dropped his gun.
May sighed in disappointment and gave Jemma bad look on her face. As she stares at her, she drops her gun down on the ground. Ward does the same as well and looks at Thorin, who then plants his sword in the ground. The others drop their swords and weapons as well. Ori unhappily drops his slingshot down.
"Oh, nice going Jemma." Fitz murmured to himself.
Jemma looks at her fellow teammates and responded. "I'm sorry."
Tom turns to Bert and gave him an order. "Alright Bert, have these humans, dwarves, and that burglar hobbit placed in the sacks. Looks like we earned a special meal for the night."
For the last nine hours, the trolls, which is what they were called, had been busy setting up an early breakfast since their dinner had been ruined, and ponies that Jemma saved, bolted away to probably regroup with the others that belonged to the dwarves. While dawn was almost arriving, Bert, Tom, and William tied Dwalin, Bofur, Dori, Ori and Nori onto a spit and were roasting them over a fire. Coulson, Skye, May, Grant, Jemma, Fitz, Thorin, Kili, Gloin, Bombur, Balin, Oin, and Bilbo were all tied up in sacks nearby and watched as the poor helpless dwarves were about to be a meal to the ugly trolls.
"OOH, oh that's hot, that's hot, that's hot!" Nori screamed, feeling the heat moving up on him.
"Don't bother cooking em." William said and decided a better way to eat them. "Let's just sit on em and squash them into jelly."
"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." Bert said, declining the idea.
"Untie me!" Dori exclaimed.
"Oooh, that does sound quite nice." William said, looking intrigued and decided to follow Bert's idea on how to cook the dwarves.
"Is this really necessary for guys to tie us up in sacks?" Skye asked them, but none of them responded back.
"I really don't know how we can get out of this, but I do not want to become a peace of meatpie to those trolls." Fitz moaned.
"Just stop your moaning." Jemma encouraged him to act brave. "Perhaps Coulson might have a plan to get us out of this."
"Fortunately, we need to try and figure out a way how to stall them and that way we can get out." Coulson said.
"This is all my fault." Fitz said. "I should've learned Kung Fu."
"Oh, yeah, but I shouldn't have pushed you into the field in the first place." Jemma told him.
"It was my job to make a proper threat assessment." Ward said.
"This wouldn't have happened if Jemma wasn't too stupid to rescue ponies... who are cute and furry." Skye said.
"I wanted to do the right thing." Jemma argued quietly.
"Well it was fun watching her do her own ninja know-how." Skye sighed. "But now, we are screwed."
"I wouldn't think of that." Coulson replied, giving her a slight half smile.
"What do you mean?" Skye asked, concerned.
"You've heard of The Cavalry? Ward brought that up.
"Yeah." Jemma and Fitz responded together.
"Everyone in the academy talks about st..." Fitz stopped.
That was when their faces changed from horror to amazement.
"She's the Cavalry!" Fitz and Jemma replied in amazing.
"I told you never to call me that." May groaned unhappily.
"I can't believe it." Jemma giggled excitedly since she now knows that Agent May was the Cavalry. "Oh, we're sure to get out of here now. Um, how do we get out of here?"
"Cavalry?" Bilbo asked one of them. "Are you meaning there's a cavalry coming?"
"No Mister, the cavalry is a title to the person your behind." Ward told him.
"Huh?" Bilbo asked, looking at May in confusion. "Her? But... she's a woman."
"You have a problem with that?" May asked quietly, sounding annoyed by that.
"What? No." The Hobbit shook his head and scoffed embarrassingly. "Uh, of course not."
"We never got your name." Jemma smiled delightfully to the hobbit.
"Oh, my name is Bilbo." Bilbo introduced. "Bilbo Baggins."
"And where are you from exactly?" Jemma asked.
"The Shire." Bilbo answered. "Two days away from here. And where are you from exactly?"
"Its a been of a long story Mr. Wagons." Ward said. "Best you wait until later, but right now, we need to get ourselves out of here."
"Its Baggins." Bilbo corrected him.
"Okay. Baggins, sorry." Ward sighed and murmured to himself. "I really like Wagons better."
"Never mind the seasoning." Tom said out loud. "We ain't got all night. Dawn ain't far away. Let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone."
Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo heard what Tom had said. They all look at each other with grins and nod at each other as sign of a good plan to stall them once dawn reaches the point.
"Uh, excuse me!" Skye called out first to the trio and managed to grab their attention. "Hi! I think you guys are making a real mistake."
The dwarves, who were tied on the spit, were confused on what she was doing.
"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori argued.
"Half-wits?" Bofur repeated and asked. "What does that make us?"
Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo struggle themselves to stand up and managed to, but they were still tied up in their sacks once they face the dimwitted trolls.
"Look we're really sorry for ruining tonight dinner in all, but like she said, we would want to make amends." Jemma offered.
"Um, we think that you're missing something... in your seasoning." Fitz said.
Bert was confused since he was the only in the trio to do all the cooking for Tom and William.
"What about the seasoning?" Bert asked them warily.
"Well have you smelt them?" Ward asked, confident enough to stall them since he saw that dawn was approaching. "Look, I think you guys need to get something else that is way better than sage before you go on to eat them."
"Traitors!" One of the dwarves yelled at them.
"Why would these humans or that burglar hobbit know about cooking dwarf?" Tom asked a little bit doubtful.
"Shut up!" Bert told him and turned back to look at them. "Let them talk."
"Alright good." Jemma grinned out loud. "So the first thing you to make your meal fresh, all we need is potatoes."
"Potatoes?" Bert asked, confused. "Why would we need taters?"
"Cause its fresh while having dwarf meals." Fitz provided. "Helps improve the flavor."
"Well we ain't got no potatoes." Tom said.
"Well I'm sure there are potatoes around here." Jemma stated. "Come on, you really want your meal to be ruined. So all you need to do is find potatoes."
"Uh, oh alright." Tom growled in disapproval and turned to face Bert and asked. "Where can we find potatoes?"
"Who knows?" Bert shrugged and turned back at them. "Maybe they do."
"They can grow anywhere." Bilbo said.
"Alright. Anything else?" Bert asked, wanting to know more.
"What about ketchup?" Ward whispered to Coulson.
"No." Coulson quietly rejected that.
"Uh, th-the next thing to do while cooking dwarf is, um-" BIlbo paused for a moment and tried to gather his thoughts while his main job was to help Coulson and his team stall them.
"Yes? Come on." Bert insisted.
"It's, uh-" Bilbo continued to think.
"Tell us the secret." Bert demanded in expectancy.
"Ye-yes, we're telling you." Bilbo said in frustration due to Bert's interruption. "The secret is… to skin them first!"
The dwarves thought that Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo were been really serious that they were going to let the trolls eat them instead. They clamored directly at them.
"Tom, get me filleting knife." Bert requested with a grin on his face, seeing how intrigued of Bilbo's suggestion in skinning the dwarves to death.
"What a load of rubbish!" Tom disagreed with the idea in skinning the dwarves. "I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all."
While the trolls were arguing, Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo caught the eyes of bearded figure that was slipping behind some trees nearby. Confused on who he was, they continued to stall them as long as they could
"He's right." William agreed and walked over to where Bombur, who was known to be the fattest dwarf amongst the company, was lying right beside Gloin. "Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf." He grabbed the terrified dwarfand dangles him upside down over his mouth, about to eat him. "Nice and crunchy."
"Oh, not that one!" Bilbo exclaimed, lying to save him. "He-He's infected!"
"Huh?" William paused and turned his head downwards at Bilbo with confused look on his face.
"You wot?" Tom asked in confusion.
"Yeah, he's got worms in his tubes." Skye said, knowing that these half-wits would buy it.
William was disgusted and frightened when he heard that, and dropped Bombur back into the pile of Dwarves since he didn't want to get infected.
"As a matter of fact, we were also going to tell you that we all are." Jemma explained, playing along. "They're infested with parasites. It's a terrible thing."
"I think its not wise a choice to risk it." Coulson said.
"Parasites, did they say parasites?" Oin asked, confused.
"We don't have parasites!" Kili yelled at them. "You have parasites!"
"What are you talking about, laddie?" Gloin asked.
The rest of the dwarves chime in about how they refused to believe that they had parasites and how Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo were been fools. Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo were not to thrilled by this and were greatly frustrated since the dwarves were messing up with their plan to stall the trolls. That was when Thorin began to understand what they were doing and decided to follow their way of stalling. He kicks one of the dwarves, causing the arguing to stop and there was a moment of silence. The dwarves around Thorin began to understand what he meant and decided to go along with it and proclaim that they were infected with parasites.
"I've got parasites as big as my arm." Oin told the dwarves first.
"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Kili shouted hastily in a panic.
"We're riddled." Nori said.
"Yes, I'm riddled." Ori said as well.
"Yes we are. Exactly." Dori said, trying to save himself.
Tom stopped and walked over to ask Coulson, May, Skye, Ward, Jemma, Fitz, and Bilbo. "What would you have us do, then, let 'em all go?"
"Well of course." Jemma nodded. "Don't you..."
"You think I don't know what you're up to?" Tom asked, annoyed since he realized they were tricking him. "These humans and that ferret are taking us for fools!"
"Ferret?" Bilbo asked, confused.
"Fools?" Bert wondered in confusion.
That was when the same grey-bearded man, who wore a pointy gray hat and grayish robes, held a staff as he appeared on top of a large rock above the clearing.
"The dawn will take you all!" The grey-bearded man pronounced, making a deep echo across the encampment.
"Who's that?" Tom wondered who the person was.
"No idea." Bert answered.
"Can we eat him too?" William asked thoughtfully.
"Its Gandalf." Bilbo responded in amazement.
Gandalf struck the rock very hard with the end of his staff. At that moment, it split it in half, allowing the sunlight behind it to pour into the clearing. When the sunlight was touching the trolls' skin, the trolls were loudly screaming as they were been turned to stone. Within seconds, the three trolls were know statues in the clearing. All the dwarves cheer for Gandalf. Of course, the dwarves on the spit, including Dwalin, were still uncomfortable.
"Oh, get your foot out of my back!" Dwalin complained.
During the early morning, Coulson, Ward, May, Jemma, Fitz, and Skye assisted in freeing the dwarves from the spit and from the sacks while Gandalf walked over to one of the troll statues and thumps it with his staff, with a pleased smile on his face.
"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" Thorin asked the wizard.
"To look ahead." Gandalf answered.
"What brought you back?" Thorin wanted to know.
"Looking behind." Gandalf said. "Nasty business. Still, they are all in one piece."
"No thanks to your burglar." Thorin expressed his gratitude and turned to Coulson and his team, who had just finished freeing the dwarves. "And the tall folk as well."
"They had their noses to play for time." Gandalf told him. "None of the rest of you thought of that."
"I don't think you understood the concept of stalling." May said to the dwarf leader, who was quite repentant.
"I don't believe we have met." Thorin said to her.
"The names Phil... Phil Coulson, but just call me Phil." Phil introduced himself first to the dwarf leader and then introduces to the rest of his teammates. "This is Skye, Fitz, Jemma, Ward, and May."
"Hi." Jemma responded quickly with just one word.
"And I suppose you all know who I am?" Gandalf asked them.
Puzzled looks came from Coulson and his team.
"Uh, not exactly." Skye scoffed.
"Though we heard from this little fellow that your name is... Gandalf." Ward guessed, giving Bilbo a pat on the shoulder.
"That is correct." Gandalf admired and lowered his head in respect. "Gandalf the Grey."
"Fili." Fili introduced himself first.
"And Kili." Kili introduced himself.
"At your service." Fili and Killi responded together and lowered their heads.
"Thanks, but we don't need service." May declined trhe offer from the two dwarf brothers.
"Say, what kind of outfits are you wearing?" Kili asked about the strange outfits Coulson and his team were wearing and then noticed a symbol. "And what is that symbol?"
"We are members of a science division." Coulson answered the dwarf's question. "S.H.I.E.L.D."
"I don't see a shield from either of you." Gloin said, shaking his head in confusion.
"No, S.H.I.E.L.D. is the name of an organization we are from." Skye corrected him.
"Well we don't know of that organization in this part of the world." Thorin said. "None of it."
"If that is true, then we know this planet we're on is not Earth." Coulson said.
"Your on Arda." Gandalf answered. "Don't suppose you know what it is."
"More likely we're from another planet called Earth." Jemma said. "Don't suppose you know what that planet is."
"No." Thorin shook his head. "Not familiar."
"Tell me, how did you get here?" Gandalf asked, wanting to know.
"Its a bit of a long story to explain." May said. "But we can start by..."
"That can wait." Gandalf cut her off. "I'm sure once we reach our next destination, you will tell me everything."
"These tall-folk are not part of our company, Gandalf." Thorin said, declining the idea of bringing them along.
"No, but they can still come with us once we reach the Hidden Valley." Gandalf responded unhappily on how Thorin was reacting towards them.
"I do not know these offworlders." Thorin argued. "Nor do we know how we can trust them."
"Hey, we just saved all your lives." Ward scoffed and was quite annoyed of Thorin's attitude. "And is this the way how to say 'thank you' in return?"
"Thank you, but we still cannot take this risk." Thorin said, giving him a glare.
"You and your company seem to be in a very tough hurry." Coulson could tell of his need to leave immediately. "Its like you were..."
"That is not your business to know." Thorin responded harshly to the agent.
"And I suggest you watch yourself." May glared at him. "Like Grant Ward said, we just did a favor in stalling these ugly giants, who were this close in eating us for breakfast. So why don't you do us favor in helping us in return."
"By all means, I shall help you." Gandalf offered to help.
"Your not really considering this." Thorin hissed. "And two, we will not be going to the Hidden Valley."
"Then where can we go?" Gandalf asked infuriated of Thorin's attitude in not wanting to go or letting Coulson and his team come along. "Your stubbornness is not going to help."
"We are still not going to that place." Thorin continued to decline the idea and angrily walks away from them. "I said it and that is final."
"What seems to be his problem?" Skye asked the wizard and let out a scoff. "And everything we did for him and kin?"
"Do not mind him." Gandalf said. "He's held a deep long grudge against... certain people ever since he and his kin lost their home."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Fitz expressed.
"You tall-folk really did help us." Balin smiled at them. "It was a true honor, yet none of us were aware that you were doing your part in stalling these trolls. Perhaps since they helped us and come from a faraway world beyond ours, I should agree with Master Gandalf. They may come along."
"They do seem to be excellent fighters. Why not?" Kili agreed too and gave Skye a wink.
Gandalf decided to turn over to Bilbo and asked. "Bilbo, since you are the company's official burglar, what would you recommend?"
"Hmm, they did help." Bilbo responded shyly. "But I do not know what Thorin would say if I said 'yes'. Though, I'm saying... yes."
"Then it is settled." Gandalf nodded his head. "So be it."
"Welcome to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin smiled dearly and offered to shake Coulson's hand.
"Thank you." Coulson said as he shook Balin's hand. "Though, we're not part of this company. All just we need is help and support."
"Of course, Gandalf and I will do everything in our will to help you along the way." Balin chuckled.
"So these trolls, are they like... cursed?" Jemma asked, examining one of the statues.
"Well they must have come down from the Ettenmoors." Gandalf claimed.
"Since when do mountain trolls venture this far south?" Thorin asked loudly from a far the other side of the campfire.
"Oh, not for an age, not since a darker power ruled these lands." Gandalf said.
"What kind of dark power are you meaning?" Skye asked, concerned of what Gandalf was talking about.
"There was a time that is world was about to be covered under the face of darkness, and certain creatures, such as trolls would raid numerous places." Gandalf explained. "Though, it never came to pass. These trolls, that stand before you, are Stone Trolls, a different breed. Unlike Mountain or Cave trolls, these ones can die and be petrified by the light of the sun. But it is quite odd how they can venture this far south. It remains a mystery."
"If these things couldn't moved by daylight, where do you think they would go to take shelter?" Fitz asked.
"A cave, maybe." Ward guessed.
"Then there must be one nearby." Thorin assumed and walked ahead.
With Coulson and his team joining the company of Thorin Oakenshield, the whole company managed to find a cave nearby. Hearing the sound of buzzing, they noticed flies coming in and out of the cave, meaning that the trolls had been using this cave as their sheltered home for a long time. Now that the trolls were killed by been turned to stone, the cave would be open to certain travelers that would use this cave as a hideout.
"Oh, what's that stench?" Jemma asked, covering her nose.
"It's a troll hoard." Coulson said. "Be careful what you touch."
"Yeah, I got that." Ward complied to Coulson's order and coughed. "Cause I don't want to know what these ugly brutes were doing."
Inside the cave, it was filled with treasure that the trolls had been hoarding for years, probably stealing things that didn't belong to them. Coulson, Ward, May, Skye, Jemma, Fitz, Bilbo, and the dwarves were coughing due to the terrible smell that the trolls had left. Inside, they found piles of gold coins and other sorts of treasure that were in caskets.
"I don't believe it." Jemma breathed in excitement.
"Since when do trolls ever keep gold in their cave?" Fitz asked, widening his eyes in surprise.
"Well you know what they say, we hit the jackpot." Skye grinned.
"Seems a shame just to leave it lying around." Bofur said. "Anyone could take it."
"Agreed. Nori, get a shovel." Gloin ordered.
While exploring, Coulson, May, Ward, and Thorin found numerous swords that were covered in cobwebs.
"These swords were not made by any troll." Thorin said.
"If the trolls didn't make them, then who did?" May wondered as she stared at a sword and removed the web out of it. As she unsheathed it, her eyes flicker in wonder when she saw that this blade was made out of pure gold.
"Some sword." Ward admired as he held onto the sword before drawing it a few inches out of its sheath. Once he unsheathed too, he saw that the whole blade was shiny blue. "Hmm, I like this sword."
Thorin hands one sword to Gandalf and keeps the other one for himself.
"Nor were they made by any smith among men." Gandalf examined the sword and draws it out of its sheath a few inches. "These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age."
Realizing that they are Elven swords, Thorin puts the sword he had carried away in disgust in front of a confused Coulson, who was also holding a sword. May didn't say one word and had no idea why Thorin would throw a beautiful looking weapon away.
"What seems to be his problem?" Ward asked while watching Thorin walk away.
"He has never forgot how the day when the elves turned away from Thorin and his people." Gandalf explained. "Dwarves and Elves had a great relationship, but after their homeland was lost, things changed and Thorin held a deep grievance against the elves."
"Seems to me that the elves must've turned their back on him." May guessed.
"You are correct." Gandalf acknowledged how right she was by giving her nod. "Yes."
Coulson kneels down and picks up the elvish sword that Thorin and thrown on the ground. He holds on to the sword and draws it out of its sheath a few inches as well. Then, he walks over to Skye.
"Skye, this is for you." Coulson offered the sword Thorin had thrown.
"What is it?" Skye wanted to know when she held it in her hands.
"You might need it." Coulson said and gave her one of his pistols. "Just incase you run out of bullets."
"This is first time I ever held a sword in my life." Skye scoffed in remark.
Agent May walks up to Jemma and Fitz, who were busy putting gold coins in their bags. Without saying a word, she hands two swords to them.
"Is this for us?" Fitz asked.
"You might need it." May answered and walked away.
"Very shiny." Jemma remarked on the appearance of the sword May gave her.
Some of the dwarves fill a chest with treasure, then bury it in a hole in the ground while Dwalin looks on in disgust.
"We're makin' a long term deposit."
"Let's get out of this foul place." Thorin said and ordered the rest of his kin to leave the cave at once. "Come on, let's go. Bofur! Gloin! Nori!"
On his way out, Gandalf steps on something metallic. Brushing aside the leaves beneath him with his staff, he finds another sword. Gandalf exits the cave and heads over to where Bilbo was sitting and hands him the sword he just found.
"Bilbo Here." Gandalf said, handing him the blade. "This is about your size."
Bilbo looks at the sword for just one moment and declined the offer. "I can't take this."
"The blade is of Elvish make which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby." Gandalf told him about the blade.
"Yes, but I have never used a sword in my life." Bilbo said, still not wanting to take it.
"And I hope you never have to." Gandalf smiled. "But if you do, remember this: true courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one."
"Something's coming!" Thorin alerted the company of incoming threat.
"Everyone stay together!" Coulson shouted.
Riding at full speed through the forest on his rabbit-drawn sled, a brown-bearded individual pulls up short by the entire Company, who ready their weapons in an act of self-defense. Ward aims his gun first, ready to fire. The intruder was described to be related to Gandalf. His hair and beard were all brown in color, including dried bird droppings on the right side of his head.
"Thieves! Fire! Murder!" The Brown-bearded individual cried out as he pulled up short by the entire company.
"Radagast!" Gandalf warmly welcomed his long time friend and put his sword back and also waved his hands to order everyone around him to lower their weapons. "Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?"
"I was looking for you, Gandalf." Radagast replied in a hastily, panicked tone. "Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong."
"Yes?" Gandalf warily asked.
Radagast opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it. He opens his mouth again, but closes it again. He has forgotten what he was going to say to his friend.
"Oh, just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue." He curls up his tongue, and looks quite surprised. "Oh, it's not a thought at all; it's a silly old..." He stopped when Gandalf pulled out a stick insect from Radagast's mouth. "...stick insect. Huh, I was wondering where she went."
While Coulson and his team were sitting down with the dwarves, Radagast and Gandalf were a few paces away and spoke privately. He had nothing to say about Coulson, Ward, May, Skye, Fitz, and Jemma, but was concerned of their appearances since he remenered what humans wore during this age.
"The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf." Radagast explained the reason on why he had to come. "A darkness has fallen over it. Nothing grows any more, at least nothing good. The air is foul with decay. But worst are the webs."
"Webs? What do you mean?" Gandalf asked, concerned.
"Spiders, Gandalf." Radagast answered and went on to describe what they looked like. "Giant ones. Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant, or I am not a Wizard. I followed their trail. They came from Dol Guldur."
"Dol Guldur?" Gandalf replied, disbelieved to hear what his friend had said about the spiders coming from Dol Guldur. "But the old fortress is abandoned."
Radagast shook his head and calmly responded with a worried look on his face. "No, Gandalf... it is not."
"Then tell me, Radagast." Gandalf insisted. "Tell me everything what you saw."
"I ventured into that fortress." Radagast explained. "Wanted to find out how this sickness was consuming all of the Greenwood. Then I felt something. I felt a dark power that dwelled in that fortress. It was a power that I have never felt before. It is the shadow of an ancient horror. One that can summon the spirits of the dead. I saw him, Gandalf. From out of the darkness, a Necromancer has come."
"Try a bit of Old Toby." Gandalf offered as he cleans his pipe with his beard and hands it to Radagast. "It'll help settle your nerves."
Breathing in the smoke, Radagast enjoyed the smell of the Old Toby he consumed.
"And out." Gandalf said in a calm voice.
Radagast, with his eyes crossed, gave a blissful look on his face just as he blew out the smoke. As the smoke came out of his nose and ears at the same time, he stayed in a trance-like state for almost a few seconds.
"Now, a Necromancer." Gandalf came back to what Radagast had said, causing his friend to snap out of his trance-like state. "Are you sure?"
Radagast reached into his robes and pulls out a cloth-wrapped package. It was small sword that was wrapped inside the cloth. As he gently hands it to Gandalf, the gray-bearded wizard took a moment to untie the cloth and opens it. Upon seeing it, Gandalf was highly concerned and disturbed when he recognized it.
"That is not from the world of the living." Radagast quietly told him.
Suddenly, a chilling howl was heard in the distance. Everyone heard the howl, and Bilbo felt a sign of alarm when he heard it.
"What was that?" Fitz asked, moving his head sideways.
"Sounded like a wolf." Coulson said, recognizing the sound.
"Wait, a wolf?" Bilbo asked, feeling a chill of panic in him. "Are there wolves out there?"
"Wolves?" Bofur responded worriedly. "No, that is not a wolf."
"Sounds more like a wolf to me." Grant said, assuming that it was the sound of a wolf.
"Well if its not a wolf then what is it?" May asked the worried dwarf.
Before Bofur could answer her question, a snarling six foot tall wolf-like animal Warg appeared from behind a nearby crag. Without any warning, Skye was the first to notice it at the sight of terror.
"Look out!" Skye screamed.
The creature leaps into the midst of the Company and landed directly on Ori. Before it was about to kill Ori with its pointy fangs, May moved in a rapid speed and saved Ori's life by save his life by striking the creature with Orcrist. That was when another Warg attacks from the other side, only for Grant Ward to shoot it with a pistol, sending the bullet straight into its forehead.
"Wow, what in Durin is that?" Kili asked, intrigued of the weapon Ward was carrying.
"Trust me, you don't want to know about that." Grant answered.
"But I should." Kili insisted. "You killed it very quick."
"Can we explain all this later, I want to know what this is?" Fitz asked about the wolf-like animal.
"Don't know, but that is a very big, nasty looking wolf I ever seen." Jemma said.
"Those are Warg-Scouts!" Thorin raised his voice in alarm as he held his sword in defense, recognizing these creatures. "Which means an Orc pack is not far behind!"
"Orc pack?" Bilbo asked, repeating the two words Thorin had said.
"What's an orc pack?" Skye asked, alarmed.
Gandalf was alarmed by this, and turned to Thorin and quickly asked the dwarf. "Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?"
"No one," Thorin answered softly with a serious look on his face, showing that he hadn't told no one about the quest Gandalf mentioned and dismissed the wizard's concern.
"Who did you tell?!" Gandalf demanded, raising his voice since he wanted to take the matter more earnestly.
"No one, I swear," Thorin assured him, increasing the volume of his voice.
"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" Grant asked in a raising tone, confused what is currently happening right now.
"We are all being hunted," Gandalf answered straightforwardly.
"We have to get out of here," Dwalin urged, realizing that he and everyone were in dire trouble.
"We can't!" Ori cried, reporting from behind the company. "We have no ponies."
"They must've bolted away when they heard the howling," Fitz said.
"We're not too far away from the Bus," Skye said, bringing that up. "We can a chance to run right back there since we know where it is."
"No, its too useless," Coulson declined her idea. "We won't make it in time."
"I'll draw them off," Radagast said immediately, offering his service to help the company a chance to escape from the pack.
"What are you nuts?!" Coulson exclaimed.
"These are Gundabad Wargs." Gandalf warned his friend and believed he wouldn't stand a chance against the pack. "They will outrun you."
"They're right." May agreed to Coulson and Gandalf. "You will not survive this."
"Madame, these are Rhosgobel Rabbits," Radagast told her about the rabbits that he had and stared at her with a confident, but grinning face. "I'd like to see them try."
Hello folks, I hope all of you are fans of Marvel, especially Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series. This crossover story takes place during Season 1 and we all know that HYDRA remains under the shadows. I hope you all like this chapter, though I'm going to re-edit it and add more to the beginning.