Chapter One

How It All Began

Ichigo Kurosaki gave up a god-like power when he helped defeat Sōsuke Aizen. He became normal in an instant. No more spirits, no more fighting wars that he was really too young to fight. He was left, though, with a deep bitterness toward those of his friends who were still capable of fighting—those that were still able to wield powers and protect others. Those, like Chad, Orihime, and Uryū, made him the most upset. He couldn't lay the blame on them, however. He'd made the choice to sacrifice everything to capture Aizen and keep him from destroying the three worlds that knew and cared about.

So, when by chance, Ichigo ran into an exchange student named Carson Brown, he didn't think much of it. They soon became friends. Carson was from the United States and had come over to do a year of Japanese high school. He said he intended to stay and pursue a degree in business at Tokyo University. Ichigo also was going to go there, in pursuit of his medical career. It was no wonder the two became fast friends. Both were charismatic and intelligent, and both were going to do well in their careers.

At the beginning of the last year of secondary school, Ichigo separated from his friends that reminded him most of Soul Society and the events that weighed heavily on his heart. He even considered moving out for a while, but in the end, decided to stay with his father and sisters until he could move to Tokyo for University. He began to get along mostly with Yuzu, and Karin understood. She was training with Urahara, and it was obvious that he was trying to forget everything about where he came from. There were so many things that Ichigo missed from his time with the others, and his friendships were chief among them. His Soul Society friends, in a bid to keep him from feeling upset by their visit, chose not to come see him even in Gigai. Sometimes, Ichigo was glad of that, and other times he wished they would just come and see him. At least then, he wouldn't be lonely. So, it was natural that powerless friends would become important to him like Carson.

Secrets, though, were something that Ichigo became good at along the way. Secrets and hiding things from others became a way of life. He couldn't tell them how much even seeing them hurt, so he just tried to smile a lot. Those that knew him best, knew what that meant, and they knew that he was hurting. He came up with ways to deal with the pain, but those ways weren't always the best ways, and sometimes, he might have gone a bit too far as were evidenced by the cuts and scars that lined his thighs at the very tops. He got very good at dealing with pain in ways that made him feel less numb.

Toward the middle of the year, it was Chad that noticed something interesting about Carson and Ichigo as the group sat down to lunch on the roof. Carson and Ichigo stayed in doing extra study during lunch breaks.

"I think that Carson has a crush on Ichigo." Chad's sudden and completely out of nowhere statement caught everyone else off guard.

"What?" Tatsuki asked, putting down her onigiri slowly. "A crush?"

Chad nodded, looking very serious. "He is always with him, and I notice that he often places his hands on Ichigo. I don't think that Ichigo notices it, or if he does, it doesn't bother him."

Uryū nodded slowly, having noted a few things himself. "I think since he's…come back, he's been trying to stay out of our lives and he got close to Carson. I see why. Carson is out of his element, and American in a small area outside of Tokyo. It was exceedingly Ichigo-like to take him under his wing, another out of place person. I mean, we know he didn't take his power loss well."

Tatsuki, having found her own ability to see hollows, had become privy to the various events that had taken place with Ichigo over the last couple years and she knew about his power loss. Ichigo hadn't completely detached from them, but they could all feel it. They were strong reminders of what had happened.

"I think since he hasn't got powers, he's comfortable to Ichigo," Tatsuki provided, sipping her can of juice thoughtfully. "But you really think he's like that?"

"You mean gay?" Uryū said with an arched brow, watching as she reddened a bit. Uryū had come out about two months previously to them. Since then, they were overly cautious about talking about it. "I don't automatically recognize gay people just because I am one," he sighed and drank down his juice. "I always wondered about Ichigo," he muttered, giving a sidelong glance toward Orihime.

"Only one thing to do," Tatsuki said and stood up. "Go ask him."

"Wait, you can't just…" Orihime started with a flush already starting on her face.

Tatsuki knew where they were; they were down in one of the study hall rooms and she figured no time like the present to get the whole situation under control. She found them in the back, both with their nose in books and eating without looking. She sighed and walked up and shook Ichigo's shoulder.

"Wha?" he said, looking up at here. "Tatsuki, what do you need?"

"Come here, I need to talk to you for a second," she said and jerked her head to the side.

"Um, okay," he said and stood up to follow her. Carson, brushing his blonde hair back from his face, looked after them curiously. Carson wasn't an imposing figure; he was thin, long limbed, and tall, perhaps five feet eleven or six feet in height.

Tatsuki took Ichigo to the other side of the room and glanced over where Carson was watching, blue eyes not leaving them. "So, you do know he's got a thing for you, right?"

Ichigo blinked, looking at Carscon and then Tatsuki. "A thing?"

"Like he likes you."

"No, we're friends, not…" he started but then his eyes darkened a bit. "Not like that…"

"Yeah, like that. Just look at it, Ichigo. Don't be stupid and insensitive to him right now. He can't take his eyes off you, he follows you wherever you go, and if you notice he puts his hands on you an awful lot," she said with a sigh. "If you haven't noticed, you're just as dense as ever."

Ichigo started to argue but she saw the light flicker in his eyes. She knew he hadn't a clue about it at all. "Maybe you're right."

"That doesn't seem to bother you," she commented, seeing they were still very much being watched.

Ichigo smirked. "Hah, I mean, I've deal with Inoue constantly following me about for years, I guess I didn't notice he was doing the same things," he shrugged at her. "What should I do with him? We're going to room in the dorms next year at Tokyo. Won't that be awkward…"

"Well, do you reciprocate?" she asked, feeling like Ichigo was never going to really understand unless she laid it out specifically for him.

He opened his mouth and closed it and looked confused. "I don't know."

"Ichigo, are you into guys or girls or what? Does he have a shot, because if he doesn't, you need to tell him now before you hurt him." She put both hands on her hips and stared at him.

"Um, okay, I… I'll talk to him on the way home today, alright?" he said with a definitive nod.

She headed up and Ichigo headed back to sit down with Carson. He smiled at him.

"Everything okay?" he asked, concerned looking.

"Yeah, she just had a question for me." He smiled and picked up the biology book he was reading and didn't pay much attention to Carson for the rest of the day.

As usual, Carson was waiting for him as he left the classroom. He noticed now how Carson would put a hand to his back now and then, and how he tended to steer him. How it didn't both him, Ichigo didn't know. He really wasn't sure how he felt about Carson, but he didn't want to get the guy's hopes up if he never felt the same way toward him. As they got on the sidewalk away from the school Ichigo brought it up.

"Um, so Tatsuki asked me about you."

Carson turned and looked surprised. "About me?"

"Yeah, you know, me and you."

He was quiet for a long time then spoke. "Like dating and stuff."

"Yeah, heh, she wanted to know if we were a thing sort of question. So, I said I didn't know because I don't know myself enough, if that makes sense. But she said she thought you liked me like that, and I wanted to ask if it was true." Ichigo wasn't looking at him, but he wasn't avoiding him, just looking ahead. Always ahead.

"Um, well, I mean, I do like you, a lot more than a friend, but I didn't think you, ah…went that direction. I don't know how to say it correctly in Japanese," he sighed and spoke in English. "I'd ask if you swing that way."

"Swing that way?" Ichigo asked with a curious grin. "I don't even know for sure, Carson," he said with a sigh. "I wish I could say I returned those feelings, but I see you as a good friend, and that really is all for now," Ichigo commented with a nod. "I don't want that to get in the way of next year at the university though. Is it okay?" he turned toward him now.

"No, that's fine, I didn't expect anything, Ichigo. You're my friend, and I really want you to stay that way. Maybe things will develop, maybe not, but I can hope," Carson said and put an arm around Ichigo's shoulders and squeezed him. "As long as you aren't weirded out by it."

"Nah, Inoue has been after me for years, aggressively, so I don't think I mind having a friend with a little crush," he said as he stopped at Carson's apartment and waved as he left.

Carson waved as his smile faded. Ichigo didn't see the look that crossed his face, somewhere between tears and anger, but he disappeared into his apartment.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

"No, look!" Carson said as he shoved a paper in front of Ichigo at lunch a couple months later. "This guy disappeared in a nearby town and look! He looks like you!"

Ichigo stared at the image of a young man that was in his twenties with lighter than normal hair. It wasn't that he really looked like Ichigo other than the hair that was lighter and kind reddish. "What about it? It says his family thinks he ran off to Tokyo with some girl. I don't know why you're all worked up, Carson."

"What's the matter?" Tatsuki said as she walked by them at one of the outdoor tables arguing over the newspaper.

Carson looked at her with pleading eyes. "Look, see, this guy, he disappeared!"

She looked over the article. "Why are you so worried, did you know him?"

"No, but what if it is a serial killer?" he said, looking around him nervously. "They target a type!"

"You're reading those serial killer books, Carson. And making something out of nothing!" Ichigo sighed, picking up a book that was about an American FBI profiler. He'd been reading a bunch of them lately.

"But…what if…?" he started but trailed off seeing that both Tatsuki and Ichigo were giving him a disbelieving look.

"Besides, one guy goes missing. That isn't a pattern of any sort, now is it?" Tatsuki smirked and patted Carson on the back. "I'll tell you what, we'll all keep an extra close eye on Ichigo, just in case."

"Will you?" Carson asked with wide eyes. She nodded and figured that it was over.

Two more months passed and the end of the year was on them. Soon, they'd all be moving on. Ichigo was talking to Uryū on the roof, having become more personable with them all as the end of the year came when Carson came tearing out onto the room and shoved another paper in Ichigo's face.

"Another one!" he gasped out, making everyone turn and look at him. Ichigo calmly pulled down the paper and looked to see it was a missing person report for a girl in Tokyo.

"This is a girl, and she frequented the red-light district," Ichigo muttered, reading it over. "She probably got into a drug den, Carson."

"But look! Her hair is like your hair, light red!" he insisted, pointing at the picture.

Ichigo sighed and looked at Tatsuki who had an amused grin. She came over and took the paper. "I doubt it is a serial killer, but perhaps Ichigo could be a little more cautious. But Carson, if the first person was from a nearby suburb, and this one is in Tokyo, don't you think this prospective serial killer is moving away?" she asked seriously.

Carson looked thoughtful for a minute and nodded. "Yeah, usually serial killers move in a direction one way.

"Serial killer?" asked Uryū.

"Carson has been reading those profiler books and he started seeing serial killers all over the place. Two weeks ago, he saw two dark haired guys that were in the paper as missing and swore that you should watch yourself," Ichigo sighed with exasperation. "Then, before that, there were a rash of kidnapping victims that looked like Tatsuki. I am certainly glad he's going to be in business and not law enforcement. He'd arrest everyone."

"Hey!" Carson said with a snort. "I'm just trying to look out for my friends." He huffed a breath out of his nose and Uryū patted him on the back gently.

"Don't worry, Ichigo is weird like that. At least you're keeping an eye out," he smirked at Ichigo.

"See, someone appreciates my efforts!" Carson said and threw his arms up.

Everyone laughed and there was a good feeling in the air. Ichigo had healed significantly from a over a year ago when he'd lost everything, and they were all happy to see it. Carson had become a part of their group, and even if they knew that he was only there for Ichigo, they didn't mind because he'd helped Ichigo get there.

Then, their world came crashing down around them.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

The banging on the door at seven in the morning when graduation had happened a couple weeks ago was way too much for Uryū as he dragged himself out of bed. "I'm coming!" he yelled as he staggered down to the door and opened it to find a frantic looking Carson standing there. His long, blonde hair was a mess and his eyes were wide and tearing up.

"Carson, what in the world is wrong?" Uryū asked, moving to let the thin American into his apartment.

"H-he-he's gone!" he gasped. "I went to pick him up today to go to Tokyo, and Ichigo's gone!"

"Calm down, what do you mean he's gone? Maybe he left early?" Uryū said, straightening his glasses.

"No, I asked, he was supposed to be dressed, ready to go! His bags are by the door, and he's just not here!"

"Okay, okay," Uryū said, trying to process what was happening. "Tell me what happened and what the plan was." He steered Carson to sit down in the kitchen and go tea for both of them. After a few minutes, he'd calmed him down enough that he looked less like a mess.

"Um, okay, well, we planned to leave this morning at seven. I have the car, so I planned to pick him up and take us to University. He had everything ready and his dad said he had dinner with them last night and talked about it. Then, this morning, when I got there, he was just gone."

They discussed the possibilities for a few more minutes and then they started contacting everyone in earnest to try and find out where Ichigo could have gone. Finally, everyone had gathered back at Carson's apartment and he paced the kitchen into the dining room to try and figure out what could have happened to Ichigo.

"Would he have run away?" Uryū asked. "Maybe stress finally got to him about the…the…the starting of university."

Orihime shook her head. "He was so excited about moving into the dorm room with Carson and starting a new chapter of his life. I can't see him running away."

"The last time I talked to him was about one am," Carson said, glaring at his phone as if the device itself was at fault for Ichigo's disappearance. "We texted back and forth about today and we said goodnight about then."

"For someone that isn't in a relationship, you two sure act like you're already married," Tatsuki observed with a smile, feeling very bad for Carson right then.

Carson blushed and looked away. "Well, one could hope," he murmured. "Did I scare him off because I like him?" he asked, tears welling in his eyes. "I shouldn't have told him. He got weird thinking that I was going to do something while we were in the dorms, that's what happened and he ran away because of me!" he sobbed loudly, dropping his head into his arms and sniffling.

"Oh, no," Uryū sighed and patted his back. "No way that was the case. I know him too well, and there's no way that he would have done something like that. He had no problem with the fact you liked him and that's a fact. He never, ever would hurt someone like that. I'm sure if he did run away, that he had his reasons behind it. Completely unrelated to you, Carson, I'm sorry."

Carson stood up and got everyone a round of tea as they continued to debate on what had happened to Ichigo that morning. No one knew what to make of him suddenly disappearing, and they all tried to console Carson who was convinced that Ichigo had run away because of him. After a lot of discussion of possibilities, Carson brought up the serial killer again.

"What if I was right and there was a serial killer?" Carson whispered to them.

"Don't be ridiculous," Tatsuki said with a shake of her head. "How would a serial killer have grabbed Ichigo?"

"Drugs," Carson informed them. "They could have drugged him."

"Carson, I doubt a serial killer could have snuck into Ichigo's house, got him out, drugged or not, then disappeared into the night before 6 am when his dad went to wake him up," Uryū said with a long-suffering sigh.

Carson didn't believe them, and for twenty minutes argued the ways in which Serial killers could accomplish such a task and how I had to be the same person that kidnapped the two other people that looked like Ichigo. It was either that or he scared Ichigo into running away. No one knew how to react because of the two, neither made sense.

-oooooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-

Rope was the first sensation Ichigo felt as he started to wake up. The consciousness that he had been seeking was finally coming back to him and he really had no clue how he had ended up unconscious in the first place. He'd texted Carson last night, and that was the last thing he remembered. Then he couldn't remember anything. Now it was dark, and it smelled funny wherever he was. He felt fuzzy headed like he'd been drugged and he wasn't familiar with that sensation.

"…that's ridiculous…" he heard vaguely.

He saw a strip of light and he tried to reach it but he couldn't move anything. He felt pressure around his arms, legs, and around his whole body. Something was wedged in his mouth and he couldn't move his jaw an inch. He felt cold metal around his wrists, but when he moved his hands, there wasn't a clinking. It was like the chain between the metallic handcuffs he guessed was wrapped up in rope to keep it from making noise.

The smell was odd but familiar in a way.

"…Ichigo…running…"

That got his attention. Someone was talking about him? Where? That sounded like Tatsuki's voice. He had no idea where he was, and he wanted to get free of the ropes he was in. He struggled against them, but there was no way he could get loose from whatever he was in. It was like one of those impossible to get out of shibari harnesses he'd seen in pictures or something. Great, had he been abducted by some freak? But wait, why was he hearing people he knew?

"…serial killer? No, that's not possible…" Ichigo swore that sounded like Uryū's voice and it was so close. How close was he to his friends and he was tied up and couldn't speak?

Please, anyone, find me. I'm alone and it is so small and dark, someone help me…

There was a sound of a door opening and closing and he guessed his friends had let wherever they were at. He'd been here and they were looking for him, and now he had no idea what was going to happen. There was a long quiet, and Ichigo thought that he was going to go out of his mind in the silence when the door opened, and light flooded the area that he was hidden in.

"Hi there," came a way too familiar voice and Ichigo's eyes went wide. Carson?

"I know you're confused, Ichigo, and I'm so sorry about that. I couldn't stand the thought of taking you to Tokyo University today. When we were there for orientation, there were so many men with their eyes on you, and I couldn't have it anymore. You know, when I tried to warn you about the serial killer, I was serious. Only, I was the serial killer. I killed those two red-heads because that's my type." Ichigo's heart was hammering in his chest now. Carson was a killer?

"I know, you can't believe it, right? Well, you were originally just another victim. I was going to kill you before I left Karakura Town. But…then I fell in love with you instead, so you're just going with me while I keep killing. Maybe you'll decide eventually to help me?" Ichigo shook his head vigorously to show that he wasn't going to help him kill.

"What do you think?" Carson asked as he reached over Ichigo's head and took down an album. He started flipping through the photos that started out as a person and quickly turned into a picture record of what he'd done to their bodies. Ichigo felt his stomach lurch. He'd planned this for him as well?

"I take my time, because this is an art, not just some hack-job killing spree. I thought maybe you'd be some help since you're in medical, but maybe I'll just have to train you to be a good wife first."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and gnawed on whatever was in his mouth and snorted as loudly as he could. Carson frowned. "Don't worry, you'll learn what I expect out of my little strawberry wife, and if you don't provide it, I have ways to make you suffer. I love you, but I will punish you so much if you don't cooperate with me. We're going to stay here another few days while your friends and I try to find you, but of course, they wouldn't look right here, now would they?"

Ichigo couldn't believe this. He considered Carson one of his best friends. He felt his eyes tear up, though. He wanted to know what he'd done to get into this situation now. Carson reached out and wiped tears away from his eyes and smiled. "I'll love you so much, and you'll be the most precious thing in the world to me, don't you see? You just have to accept it, because this is how things are going to be. I'm going to Tokyo University, and I got this nice little apartment with some lovely nooks and crannies that promise good hiding spots for my bodies and for you." He paused, reaching for another book and showing Ichigo. "And you're going to do what I say. Because of the fact that if you don't…"

He opened the book to show off photos of Ichigo and his family. He kept flipping until he landed on one of Orihime. Then flipped to Yuzu. "These two, with that hair color, they fit my profile, don't you think? I read the books and I know I have a profile, and one day I'll be caught, but by then… You're going to be broken beyond belief, I promise you that. I will break you."

Ichigo's eyes hardened as if to dare him to do anything, but he had no choice but to do what he was told. He could get to Orihime and Yuzu so easily. "You know what I'll do? I'm going to take your place with them. I'll be a substitute for their missing friend and brother. No matter what you think, I'll place myself in their world, and no matter what you do, there will be nothing that you can do to change it because I will tie you up, chain you up, beat you and if I have to severe limbs I will do it," he whispered harshly right by Ichigo's ear. He was a different person no than he ever saw before. He was cruel, harsh, and someone Ichigo didn't know. "You belong to me now, and the life you had before is gone. Accept it, and I won't hurt you. Much."

Ichigo struggled against the bindings and Carson smiled. "I know I'll have to teach you the hard way. But after a few days in this pantry, you'll see who has control here, and it isn't you."

Carson stood up and slammed the door, leaving Ichigo in the dark and alone again. He screamed but there was no noise to escape the confines of the small pantry. Outside, the world went on looking for any trace of Ichigo Kurosaki. They would find none.