Title: Fall and your Guardian Angel will catch you.
Summary: I don't know. Maybe you should read and find out! (Hint hint)
A/N: I got the inspiration for this from CSIslave's fic "Red Snow". I recommend you read it; it is really sad but also VERY good. It is the source of all my inspiration. So thanks CSIslave! I hope you enjoy my story and check out CSIslave's fic. Oh and whenever you see the (----) that means the story is changing in point of view. Thanks :)
Disclaimer: Well yeah, of course I own them. Why else would I be rich, famous, and married to Greg? Ha, as if. Only in my dreams!
Fall and your Guardian Angel will catch you.
Chapter 1:
Sara opened her eyes. She saw Grissom lying beside her, his eyes closed tightly.
Sara sighed with joy. They had been dating for a couple of months but this was the first time something more than just kissing had ever happened. She still could not believe that it actually happened!
It felt like a wonderful dream. She knew it was not a dream, though, and for that, she was truly thankful. She leaned over and kissed Grissom on the lips.
Grissom's eyes fluttered open and upon focusing on her, filled with pain. She leaned down and kissed him again. He jerked away.
Sara sat up, unsure of what she had done wrong. "Grissom? What's wrong?"
"I can't be with you anymore." He said simply.
Sara's eyes widened, hers now filled with pain as well. When she spoke, her voice was hurt. "What...? But-"
He cut her off. "We could be exposed to the entire lab...one of us could lose our jobs...you more likely than I and I know this job is your life." He whispered.
He also sat up. He stared at the bedspread, he could not look at Sara as her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head.
"No...Grissom...you are my life! Please...please don't do this to me!" She cried.
"But the job is my life. I love you but I can't- we can't-"
Sara's sobs gave him a reprieve in trying to explain. "Grissom I love you! I cannot handle you leaving. Please stay! I'll...I'll quit!" She gasped, her chest heaving as she tried to breathe through the pain in her heart.
"No..." He got up and walked around, pulling on clothes. "We can't. You can't. I can't." Once he was dressed, he walked out.
Sara followed behind him, wearing the blanket they had been sharing moments ago when all had been happy. She clung to him, holding him and clutching him like a child not wanting her to leave her parents to go somewhere else would.
He shrugged her off. Her touch was making it harder to leave but he knew he had to. Even if it would break her heart, and his own.
They walked to the door and Grissom grabbed his coat.
"Grissom!" Sara screeched. Tears tore their way down her face.
"Sara...stop. It's over. I-we-can't. Not anymore." He opened the door and turned to leave.
"Grissom." Her voice was surprisingly strong. It didn't sound like she was crying just five seconds ago. He turned back to face her. "You don't love me do you? Look me in the eyes and tell me if you do." She commanded.
His eyes met hers.
"I love you, Sara… I cannot deny that. I do. I just can't love you anymore than I do. We can't move on together. We have to make new lives and loves. However, maybe-someday-you will find someone else. But don't think I don't love you Sara Sidle, because I do." He turned back around and stepped out.
Sara fell to the floor, silent tears running down her face as the man she loved walked on. She watched helplessly as Grissom walked out into the beautiful starry night, the stars twinkling above, unaware of what was occurring below them.
He shut the door gently behind him.
She put her head in her hands and tears poured out even more. She sobbed loudly but the sobs still could not be heard though, over the sound of her heart breaking in two.
She forced her self to stand up and walk to the bathroom. She had to do something.
The pain throbbed and bled as if a knife was in her heart.
She opened a cabinet of medicine and grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills. She went to the kitchen and got a glass of water as well. Then she moved back into the bathroom.
She stood over the sink, looking at the bottle. She made a decision. The pain was too much to endure. She could not take it.
She shakily poured some of the pills into her hands. She was shaking so badly that they tumbled out of her hands. She tried again, this time managing to get them into her mouth. She shook the bottle but there was no more. She threw the bottle. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she saw a girl.
A girl that was unloved, hurt, and dejected, pain coursing through her like blood.
She was not thinking straight. Pain and hurt drove her actions.
She slammed her hand into the mirror, shattering it like Grissom shattered her heart.
Blood ran down her arm and the mirror. She stared at her hand, oddly fascinated as the glass in her hand glimmered from the bright bathroom lights.
But the blood flowing from her arm could not compare with the blood seeping from her heart.
Suddenly filled with deep rage and pain, Sara screamed. As she walked out of the bathroom and strange calm came over her. Her feet slapped against the floor rhythmically as she went to the kitchen.
She came to a stop, eyeing the large knife on the counter, never put away since she and Grissom went to her room last night.
She slowly reached for it, walking forward as if under a spell.
When her hand touched the handle, she gasped, realizing what she was about to do. Holding it in front of her face, she examined it, like she would a piece of evidence.
After a few seconds she turned and marched to the living room, where she collapsed on her knees, bring the knife to her skin. She pressed the metal to her wrist, her right hand that was holding the knife shaking uncontrollably.
She made a small cut on her arm. She dragged the knife down her wrist again, pressing down hard. Blood slowly seeped out of the cut, covering her arm. She did several more times.
Her was falling into a million pieces and still tearing.
The pain drove her to move her hand to her side sliding the knife down.
Her heart fell down...
and down...
and down...until she could bare it no more.
She could no longer see any reason to live. Why should she?
Grissom-he...left her...burned her love for him.
Her heart was no longer there, just an empty spot.
It was as if she was watching from outside her body. Watching as the distraught woman sitting on the floor cut deep into her side, her thigh and legs, back down her arms. She was fully aware though of what the end result would be.
She knew that she was making it harder by making small tiny cuts and not just driving the knife in deep.
She felt like she was sinking into a deep pit full of nothing but pain.
She closed her eyes and an image of her and Grissom crawled into her brain. She quenched her eyes shut tighter.
They wouldn't stop, though.
Her thoughts wondered.
She thought about Grissom but hastily forced him out of her thoughts. She thought he loved her, cared. No one at the lab cared. There was no one who would care. She was so tired of being nothing to no one.
The carpet floor was colored a light red, all around her. Sara watched, dazed, as the area changed color to a darker crimson red as more blood flowed, all around her. It was dark… the tears trailing down her face, or the slow movement of her hand as she dragged the knife across her skin were invisible. She sobbed with pain and sorrow, cursing the man who brought her to this level of despair and hopelessness.
'Grissom, why?' was her last thought before all turned black.
For some reason Greg awoke with an unfathomable urge to go to Sara's apartment. He had no understanding why. It was like a desperate calling, though. As if the fate of the world depended on him to do this. He got out of bed and despite the red glare of 12:00am on his clock he dialed the number, letting it ring and ring and ring...
He tried again and when he got answering machine, he sighed and hung up.
Then he headed toward Sara's apartment complex. He parked next to Sara's car in the parking lot.
The calling was getting stronger.
Worriedly, he ran up the stairs to her apartment, thoughts and possibilities of what might have happened to her racing through Greg's mind. She could have been killed, attacked or even abducted. Without thinking to call Grissom, he ran to Sara's apartment door and fished for her spare key to let himself in. Carefully he opened it and glanced inside.
He started to search the apartment for his friend. He looked around and spotted Sara.
Greg gasped at the sight he saw; Sara was lying in a pool of blood, cuts visible on her body. A knife lay at arms length from her, blood gleaming on the tip.
Greg rushed to her, all the breath gone from him. He leaned down and checked her pulse. There was only a faint beat.
"Oh, Sar, what did you do to your self?" He asked.
"I-I fell in love with Grissom." came the weak reply.
"Oh, Sara, you scared the hell out of me! God, I thought you were dead! I love you so much. Don't ever scare me again!" He pleaded. Looking around he saw blood drops leading from the bathroom and vowed he would check it out later.
Sara slipped her hand into his and he whispered soothingly, "C'mon, Sar, let's go, I'll lead you away from here, okay?"
Sara nodded and allowed him to pick her up and carry her to the living room. He sat her on the couch and she moved beside him. Greg drew Sara towards him, in a tight hug. She leaned into him, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Shhhhhhh..." Greg soothed her, hugging Sara even tighter. Tears ran down his cheeks." I love you. I've wanted to tell you that since you first arrived here but I couldn't." He saw her eyes close and panicked, thinking she was not going to be able to survive that much longer. He held her tightly to him, his voice scared. "Sara, don't go! Just don't leave me! Please? Stay with me! Sara!" He cried.
Sara's eyes flew open at the urgeancy of his voice. Looking at him she could see the love in his eyes, hear it in his voice as he whispered, "Sara, don't leave me."
She couldn't believe she has missed it for years. She has been chasing after the wrong man. Grissom could never be the man holding her now.
"You are an angel. My Guardian Angel. If, if you hadn't be worried about me or whatever the reason you came was, then no one would have found me and I WOULD be dead. I love you too." She said reaching up to wipe away the tears.
Suddenly her eyes closed and she fell limp against him.
He jumped to his feet, ready this time and called 911.
Sirens appeared, first quietly, but steadily growing louder. The paramedics burst into the room and pulled Greg gently away from Sara. He noticed that Hank had been one of the paramedics whom had responded to the call. They loaded the young woman onto a stretcher. Greg never let go of Sara's hand and he walked in sync with the rolling of the stretcher. Still holding Sara's chilling hand, he climbed into the ambulance.
At the hospital, he had to leave her.
He finally called Catherine and told her of the events that had taken place. He begged her not to tell anyone else. Catherine was the only person he could think of at that moment.
Despite the standoffish relationship she had with Sara, she was still the only one who would be there, no questions asked, at least until after the fact. She was like the mother of their team. She attended to the injury first, then to how it happened, so to speak.
So, in the waiting room, hours later, Catherine met with him, "How is she?" She asked. She gave him a big hug a leaned back to see him.
Greg took a deep breath. "I don't know. The doctors haven't told me anything yet. I..." Greg trailed off.
"Kin of Sara Sidle?" An old doctor called out.
"That's me," Greg lied without hesitation.
"She'll be fine, but we're going to have to put her under Suicide Watch for 72 hours," the doctor said.
"Can I see her?" He pleaded.
"Yes, just follow me," The doctor walked down the hall, Greg trailing after him like a lost puppy. Finally, he stopped and opened the door to reveal a woman, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor.
This wasn't Sara. The stubborn, defiant brunette he knew was gone and he wanted her back. "Sara!" Greg ran to the bed and pulled a chair to sit beside her. He got comfortable and got prepared for a long 72 hours...
Sara woke up not knowing where she was. All she could hear was the steady beep of the machine.
Suddenly the images of earlier flashed into her mind.
She had been heartbroken over Grissom's actions and decided to kill herself.
But...she's not dead. Why...? Greg.
Because of Greg. He had saved her when he went to her apartment. He had, in a roundabout way, voiced his feelings of love to her.
He really did love her...someone loved her. She blinked her eyes several times to get rid of the tears.
"Greg?" She asked quietly into the haze surrounding her and slowly the images became clearer again. She knew where she was; she was in a hospital room, Greg lying in the bed beside her, damp cheeks and large circles under his eyes, showing he had not slept much. His hand was clenching hers tightly and he was sleeping lightly. She smiled at his obvious devotion to her despite what she did. She leaned over and brought his hand to her mouth, kissing it gently. He moaned and opened his eyes. Seeing her awake, his face broke into a smile.
"Sleeping Beauty awakes." He joked softly. She opened her mouth to reply but Greg's own mouth stopped anything from coming out as he placed a kiss on her mouth that held meaning that was as deep as the ocean. "Don't ever scare me like that ever again," he ordered sternly when he pulled back.
It took Sara a minute to come out of the daze. "You were scared? For me?" She finally asked incredulously.
"Yes, now promise me," he demanded.
"I promise," Sara whispered with tears sliding silently down her cheeks.
"Why? Sara, why?" Greg demanded from her.
"I just, I don't know..."Sara trailed off silently for a moment, "I felt so alone, so utterly, hopelessly alone."
"Oh Sar, you're never alone," Greg assured her, "I'll always be here."
"I know, but everything just got to be too much," Sara continued wearily, "I didn't know which way to go, which path to take. I couldn't deal with it all. I thought he loved me but..." Greg understood; she was talking about Grissom. "Why'd he leave me then? I don't understand! I know though, that I need to get over him. It's hopeless. I don't k-know if I can..." she started sobbing.
Greg pulled her into his arms and rocked her slowly. "Sar-Bear, it's never hopeless. I'll be there to help you through it all," he said gently. "Here, I want you to open this. I got it for you as a get well gift." He handed her a small box.
She blushed shyly but accepted it. Tears filled her eyes as she opened the box. Lying in the box was a solid gold necklace with a charm reading 'I Love You'. The tears spilled over and Sara gave Greg a ginormous hug. She couldn't believe the depths of his feelings for her. They were unlike anything anyone has ever shown her. And for once she could return every ounce of feeling back.
"I love you too. Thank you so much. You saved my life." She whispered in his ear after he put the necklace on her. Really, words couldn't explain the sudden void that had been filled. It took one look for her heart to be able to start the long process of repair after Grissom shattering it. She was thankful she would not have to go into detail about how it got there in the first place, Greg understood perfectly. Besides what mattered was that she was still alive. Greg smiled and pulled her into a kiss. "Maybe it's not hopeless." She whispered.
"It's not, as long as you have me, you'll be able to mend your heart," Greg informed her gently as he gazed at her pale form.
"Sir, you have to leave your wife now," the doctor announced, poking his head in the room and they did not bother to correct him.
Greg quietly untangled his hand from Sara's and kissed his cheek before standing up and heading toward the door.
"Greg?" Sara called out in a timid voice.
"Yeah," he answered as he turned his head towards her.
"Thanks...for 'saving' me. I-I mean what I said. I love you," she said just loud enough for him to hear.
"I love you too, Sar-bear." Greg replied.
Sara smiled broadly for the first time in a while.
End Chapter 1
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A/N: So I hoped you liked this chapter! Once I finish this, I will hopefully be able to post more for 'Greg's in my Dream?' I will post more soon depending on how many reviews I get. SO PLEASE REVIEW!!