So, yeah. This story is dedicated to my brother, who is now officially a soldier in the National Guard. :
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, or any branch of the military. I do, however, own all four books and a dogtag with my name engraved on it. :D
Thanks so much to my beta, AlysonMay. Seriously, without her, this story would be like a two year old with fingerpaints. A mess.
--
They say that in the Army
The girls are mighty fine
You ask for Betty Grable
They give you Frankenstein
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
The biscuits in the Army
They say are mighty fine
One rolled off the table
And killed a pal of mine
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
They say that in the Army
The coffee's mighty fine
It looks like muddy water
And tastes like turpentine
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
The say that in the Army
The pay is mighty fine
They give you fifty dollars
And take back forty-nine
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
A chaplain in the Army
Has a collar on his neck
If you don't listen to him
You'll all wind up in heck
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
Oh the surgeons in the Army
They say we're mighty bright
We work on soldiers through the day
And nurses through the night
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
The corporals in the Army
You say we're really green
But if it weren't for us guys
You'd be in the latrine
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
Oh some guys like the Army
I think that it's a mess
If it's so damn terrific
How come I wear a dress
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
Friendships in the Army
They say are mighty rare
So I spend all my free time
Carousing with my mare
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home
The girls at the service club
They say are mighty fine
Most are over eighty
And the rest are under nine
Gee, mom, I wanna go
But they won't let me go home
Gee, mom, I wanna go home
--Gee Mom, I Wanna Go Home, a marching song.