Deidara gleamed at the new oven. It cost a fortune, much to Kakazu's dismay, but Deidara could care less about that.
He couldn't wait to cook delicious, artistic cakes and pasteries. He was always a good cook, but he had an unfortunate habit of blowing everything he made up to smithereens.
Even when he was a child, he participated in hundreds of baking contests, only to have won because everyone else was blown to bits. Deidara couldn't help but feel slightly responsible for this, but he brushed it off as nervousness and took the trophies home with him.
He glanced over at the trophy case, his heart glowing with pride at his "accomplishments." He had over 37 trophies in all and was surprised they too didn't explode like everything else did. He chalked it up to the fact that he was young and his bombs weren't nearly impressive then as they were now.
He pondered this as he worked in getting the ingredients out of the cabinets and putting them on the counter. Then going back for some other supplies.
Just then, Itachi showed up and was looking through the cabinets for something to eat.
Deidara piped up and gestured to Itachi, "Why don't you try some of this cake batter, hmm? It's good, hmm."
Itachi looked down at the batter. He walked away, mutttering under his breath, "I don't like sweets."
Deidara's shoulders slumped, obviously hurt by the comment, but brushed it off and went back to work.
Next, Kisame came into the kitchen, smelling something delicious but halted when he saw Deidara cooking.
Deidara looked over his shoulder and beamed, "Kisame, hmm! You love sweets, right? Try some of this, hmm."
Kisame smelled the batter, put his hand in and was about to take a taste when-he noticed his favorite bag of chips. He grabbed the bag and left, without tasting the batter, mumbling, "I prefer spicy foods."
Deidara's shoulders slumped, again. But he decided to finish his cake. He had a few more things to it and stirred the mix furiously.
That's when Zetsu entered the kitchen, licking his lips as he hasn't had food all day, and rummaged through the cabinets.
Deidara shoved the mix infront of him and persisted, "You're hungry, right? Try some of this, hmm. It will fill you right up, hmm."
Zetsu didn't even look at the mix as he walked away, carrying a bag of salad in his hand, muttering, "I'm a plant. I don't eat human food."
Hidan came in next, and Kakazu followed close behind him.
Hidan looked over Deidara's shoulders and asked,"What the fuck are you making? Fucking mudd! Did you know there's a lot of that outside."
Kakazu laughed at Hidan's stupidity, before walking away with a bag of something unmentionable.
Hidan called after him, shouting, "Fucking Kakazu! What's so fucking funny?! Fucking twat!"
Deidara glared at Hidan and said, "It's that what you think it is, hmm. Then you can't have any! Hmm!"
Hidan glared back and retorted,"Good! Who would fucking want that shit anyway!? I make that fucking shit everyday!" And with that, Hidan stomped away cursing obscenities under his breath.
Deidara sighed heavily and went back to work, continuing to stir his masterpeice.
It wasn't before another person came into the kitchen, this time it was the leader, Pein, and his lapdog, Konan.
Pein asked, "Deidara, what are you making?"
Deidara beamed, "Do you want some, hmm? It's the best cake batter I've made so far. It tastes heavenly, hmm."
Pein looked at the batter for a moment then took one finger, scooped up a tiny bit of batter, licked it, and left the room, expressionless. Konan followed after him, worriedly.
Deidara smiled a bit at his success for impressing the leader. He didn't expect a compliment for his masterpeice but he delighted in the fact that his leader was, in fact, shocked that it tasted so good.
Deidara put the batter into a cake pan and set the oven and timer for the correct times. He then slipped the cake into the oven and went to watch some television. He turned it to the cooking channel and waited for his masterpeice to finish.
Around an hour or so later, Deidara went to go check out his artwork in all it's delicious glory. He opened the oven and took out the cake, with oven mitts of course, and set the cake on the counter.
He then took out his, handmade, cookie cutters and cut out several parts of the cake with them. He only used the bird ones, since birds were his favorite animal, and set them on a plate. He used his awesome icing skills to design the birds in both pink and peach designs and set them out of the table to cool off.
The smell of the cake/bird things drove everyone to meet around the table.
"Well, hmm. How do they look, hmm?",Deidara asked, smiling from ear to ear.
The whole group agreed that they did look appetizing, and smelled great too.
With that, each group member, besides Deidara, took a bird and bite down.
What happened next, however, Deidara didn't expect.
Everyone, including Pein, who Deidara thought loved the cake batter, spit out the cake.
"What the fuck! I knew they tasted like fucking dirt!"
"Surprising, they aren't sweet..."
"Is there fish in here!? In cake!?"
"All human food tastes awful. This isn't surprsing."
"Doesn't taste half bad, actually."
"This actually tastes worse than the batter. Is that possible?"
"So, it was the cake batter that was bothering you, Pein-sama. What a relief."
"Tobi likes it! Tobi thinks it has a unique taste!"
Everyone looked at Tobi as if he were crazy, except for Deidara. He looked like he wanted to blow everyone in the room up.
He huffed and walked away quite upset over the fact that he remembered why he always won the baking contests. He was always a bad cook.
He could make his pasteries and cakes look amazing, but they always tasted like, to use Hidan's vulgar words, fucking dirt. That's why he deliberately made them into bombs so he could blow away the competition and still win the trophies.
He cheated. But, at least to him, his cakes always were the bomb.